I HAVE DEPRESSION, ANXIETY AND STRESS

I went to the doctor today earlier. I told myself that I'm okay and I'm not stress and I'm very happy. I never thought its all.. Actually just lies. Ahaha.. I do the test for all the things up there earlier. And the result. Actually.. Ahaha.. Its nothing.. I couldnt understand how they read it so I conclude its all okay. But ahaha.. Then, the doctor saw and it said, "All the thing is so high.. You're.. Oh my.." I jut grin and smile awkwardly at her since she look very shock with the result. Then, I know I'm in danger //sings to BTS-DANGER// I WOULD NEVER TELL THIS TO MY MOM. She had already face with my brother's so I'm not gonna make her high blood pressure more.. High. So yeah. And yeah, I won't blame my hormone or anything. I'll just blame myself because today.. I lost my best friends. Great. Just great Puff. Ahaha.. Do that again and you'll lost everyone matters to you. Great. I do to them, I got angry without reason and now? I miss them? you, Puff! You're desperate. Ahaha.. Yes I am. Call me a coz I am.. Now, I have stress with my exams. Like, "Hello exam-ssi, nice to meet you--" "ouh, you brought friends--" "Ouh, you're friends--" "W-wait exam-ssi--" OMO so yeah. And I have problems with my sisters. Everything is a problem and I'm the main problem in the house. So.. What will you do or feel when you heard this.. Conversation? A : such a burden.. B : who? A : (my name) B : why? A : she had weird sickness and mom leave me to take care of 'that' burden? Please, So yeah. I thought I'm string but yeah, I'm such a weak. Ahaha.. Ahahahaha.. You don't need to know. I believe, we all are. "I acts all strong and happy and bubbly and very jumpy towards everyone, then when nights come, I cry all alone, because.. I'm such a fake. And I'm a failure. And I'm.. Just bad." I told myself, I'm okay. But IT! I'M NOT OKAY! I'M ING NOT OKAY! I WANT TO CRY! I WANT TO SCREAM! I WANT TO KILLCK OR KILL I WANT TO.. JUST GO AWAY FROM THIS LIFE FOR A WHILE AND HAVE A BREAK! Time lie this.. I miss him. I miss his lovely voice and how he would listen to my problem, even tho he couldn't understand it. I miss it when I would become very calm when I sat next to him. I become very.. Me. //sigh// I've failed you. I've failed your hope. I'm a failure, love. #Pleaseforgiveme
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