{Rant} Stupid, Broke, and Confused... T_T

I was under the impression that my senior year was going to be the easiest year. 

I WAS WRONG!

I feel stupid, broke, and confused. 

My test scores are low as hell. I took the ACT twice. The first time I got a 16 and the second I got a 17 out of 36. Even though my GPA is high at a 3.8, a test score is universal and is more accurate than grades. That leads me to believe I am not as smart as I think I am. I will take the test again on the 24th of October, which is just a few weeks away. I am hoping I get at least 1 point higher. My mom thinks I can get a 25 if I really study. I think that won't happen. I studied a lot last time and I didn't improve much. The thing is you can't really "study" for a test like that. There are a dozen different topics and it is set up for you to fail it.

That leads me into the broke part. I am poor. I don't know how I'm going to afford college without loans. A full-ride is out of the question because of my low test scores and financial aid will only pay for a couple thousand. The rest is up to me. I will have to take out loans and probably work in school too. My mom doesn't want me to do either of them but what other choice do I have??

Aside from that, when I get to college what will I major in?? I've narrowed it down to 2 fields: Education or Communication/Journalism. Both of those fields people don't recommend, but those are my interests. I think that I might enjoy teaching students and it's a pretty straight forward career. You don't have to search in 20 different places and see if they employ people with your degree. You are a teacher and that is that. However, since you are only a teacher, that is all you can do. What if I don't like teaching?? What if I can't find a job?? And with Communication I am only interested in it for the writing aspect and because it's more employable than a Journalism degree. 

Ugh this is stressing me out!! My mom thinks I'm not trying hard enough and that is why my score is low. (I haven't even started studying for it yet) I sometimes think that I am not smart enough to survive in college. Sometimes I think what if I'm not a good writer. (Honestly, that's all I'm good at so I would be destroyed if I'm no good) I don't know what I want to be. I feel stupid. I feel pressured by counselors to apply to schools I don't even want to go to or I know I won't get into. I just want to stop time and take a few weeks to just think. But I know that's impossible.

On the bright side... I finished my application yesterday to the univerisity I really want to attend. I will get a response in 2 to 3 weeks. I had a special scholars application so there's a chance I will get accepted with a nice scholarship :)

Fighting ^^

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peachywink #1
There are other random scholarships you could apply for just to see if you'll get them. I knew a kid in my school who recieved a scholarship he didn't qualify for simply because no one else submitted for it so they gave it to him. I also nearly got one where it required very little effort on my part, and I was one of two people that applied for it. The only reason I didn't get it was because my parents made more money than the other kids. Go and see if your school has a collection of scholarships that you can look thru to see what you qualify for, my schools guidance office had a huge filling cabinet of them. As for improving your score on the act try looking up study skills specifically for it or free online test practice for it. And a lot of schools will discount low testing scores if you demonstrate enough capabilities with your grades and submit a strong essay. If you haven't been doing it already try bringing your essays into the guidance office or your English teacher to have them look at it, or if your parent is a good writer use them.
mischievous_akmood #2
it's true, I've heard that senior year's supposed to be better but it's actually harder because college apps and etc...
you're not stupid, and I know this sounds cliche as , but your grades don't define you... yes they might define what college you end up going to and stuff like that, but in the long run, they don't determine your entire life, and it's your life that's the most important, not what college you go to or what your test scores were
teachers have told me this before: standardized tests like the ACT and the SAT don't measure your intelligence. they measure how well you're able to spot an error and how well you can outsmart the test, but they don't measure your intelligence. really, those tests are designed to see how well you are at figuring out the methods they try to trick you with on the test
it's possible to do well... this next part isn't meant to make you feel bad or anything so please don't interpret it the wrong way... I took the ACT last month and I got a 31... and where I live, that's considered pretty low and I know I need to make improvements as well so I'm retaking it this month... if you want, I can try helping you and we can both improve together and I can give you some test taking tips and some general info that might help you?
the broke part... I can't really help with that I'm sorry... but most people who go to college don't pay for it without some sort of financial aid, so you're not alone... things will work out in the end and you'll find a way to manage ^^
people might not have recommended those fields because they're not high in pay or they're just not one of the top jobs in society, like doctors or lawyers or etc... but honestly, I don't think it's the amount of pay that matters... it's possible to get an average income and still live a perfectly good life. money doesn't mean everything and just because you have it, that doesn't mean your life is great. for example, my dad works day and night and makes a pretty (cont)
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