SO! Wednesdays class came and went. My bff decided to come to my class so I could accomplish my mission that her and my sis set for me, well I FAILED! Are you all ready for this? Here it is

My firend says "Oh your bae is here" I tell her to ssh because the girl that is beside us also likes him (I know she does) and she's also my bffs friend. Anyway, my friend was sitting behind me, therefore I had to turn around to talk to her and thats when he and I made eye contact AGAIN! I looked at him and he looked right at me, I quickly looked away then looked back and he was still looking, he even tilted his head like he was waiting on me to speak. Of course I did not. so after looking back and forth at each other, the teacher said something about , so I made a comment about , he looked over at me, smiled and laugh along with the rest of the class ( He seemed to be onboard with my comment since he said yes as well).. HERE IS WHERE I WANTED TO HIDE. My teacher said to me "What if your man wants to bring you flowers or candy" me speaking truthfully said "I dont like that stuff" then Daniel (my crush) said "Now you're just being difficult" DIFFICULT?? WHAT? No no no damn no! WAE!!!! Then my teacher was talking to me about what if I just wanted from a man and not his nurture for our kids, I told him "If we are in a ually relationship only, then there will be no kids between us" and Daniel turned to me and said "HOW?" I'm assuming he was waiting on my reply to his question, but I just turned around and felt like a complete idiot. My sister says he's seemingly trying to spark a conversation but I JUST CANT DO IT! Stubborn-ness doesnt take place here, fear does.

Let me be real, with this guy, INSECURITY hits me big time. I seem to get people with my smile and really straight and white teeth but I feel that is nothing. Like I've said before, it would be nice to even just be his friend. an actual friend that texts, talks and hangs out, not just a class friend. ALSO the pencil thing wasnt gonna fly, at the end of class, my teacher was checking my papers and asked for a pen, I didnt have one. Daniel was walking up there and I was about to ask him but a girl already gave my teacher a pen. DAMN. I also really feels he likes Alexis and I know she likes him, especially since she waited for him to leave class just to walk behind him and not talk. GOODNESS! So, I said I was gonna ignore him Monday for that comment. Or write HI on my drawing tablet and then ignore him. I really feel I should learn to ignore him because we'll never get anywhere. Insecurity kicks in because of my style. Im basically a guy with s and a . The way I dress, walk, think, talk and its just ugh. Im not gonna change myself EVER but i feel he doesnt like the type that I am. I dont want to give up but... URG! I'm really wishing he has my english class next week, I doubt it but Im hoping. Then I'd have more time.... damn you time.