WELL! I started college last month(AUGUST) (woot woot) and of course I told myself NO DISTRACTIONS! My bffs and I gave that rule to ourselves and so far so good. I came into class knowing just about no one, only 2 people from high school and only 1 of them is actually a friend of mine. I'm honestly a bit socially awkward, so if you dont speak to me, chances are I wont speak to you. (shy maybe) For 2 maybe 3 weeks, I sat in class and talked with my old friend and also made a new one during that time. In class, I either look to my left (thats where my friends sit) or at the teacher by the board.. but I decided to look to my right and that was the worst thing possible. To the right of me was sitting a boy who I was aware of but not AWARE of. I looked over at him, checking him out and he turned around and our eyes met, me being me, I quickly looked away. He has brown straight but thick hair styled in a up do, side burns, nice thick(not too thick) eyebrows, creamy skin and dimples deeper than Ive ever seen. He doesnt even have to smile for them to show. That day in class, I kept stealing glance after glance and he would almost always catch me looking. "Should I wave or say Hi" is what kept (keeps) going through my head but I just wouldnt dare.

Well days go by and I'm still stealing looks and discovered his name is Daniel. The girl that sits well sat near him is named Alexis, she and her friend Chelsea are friends with my bffs so we spoke a bit. I honestly thinks he likes Alexis but at this point, I just want to get the courage to say hi and become his friend. ANYWAY Chelsea is extremely talkative and I guess that was annoying him because he looked at me and mouthed "Dont you wish she'd shut the up?", I just made some weird expression and he made the same weird expression in return. Well because the girl Chelsea moved near him, he moved the the back left of me. It's more noticable that I'm looking at him but I still do it and he returns the looks.

WEDNESDAY he came in and sat behind me and my friend Lorie and stared directly at me as I was talking to her, he even scooted up closer. He was there in my face STARING ME DOWN! and I.. I continued to look at Lorie Y_Y when he got up and went to the seat with his friend, I went back to looking as I norally do. I felt like he wanted me to say something. why else would he get in my face?? I looked over to steal another glance but his friend was staring this time. When ever I'm smiling or laughing, that's when I catch Daniel looking the most without me staring and I like that. I saw him looking while I was smiling and he grinned. MY GAWD! In class Wednesday, the teacher asked a question and I replied with my honest opinion and it made the class laugh, I looked to see if he was laughing and he was. He was dying laughing and said it was funny. ALL OF THIS and I still cant bring myself to say hi or even wave. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH ME? This is so unlike me. If I see a cute guy or girl, I usually wave, say hi or even give a compliment but in this case I cant. That class is over in December.... WHERE HAS MY COURAGE GONE? 

I just wanted to tell you guys this.. My gosh what's with me? I really feel I should say Hi or Wave but I cant. . Where is this FEAR coming from? I overcame this years ago. How did he bring it back?

Also for people who reads my blogs and questions about the guy who has my heart,( that ive mentioned in previous blogs) We cant be together so I MUST move on. There's honestly no point in trying to hold on.