School had me up all night thinking about decisions and choices I'd be forced to take.

But mostly my future.

It frightens the h--- out of me and I'm so scared that I'll grow up to be someone I once despised.

Answering the question " what do you want to be when you grow up? " seemed so simple when I was child. 

A fireman, a chef, a superhero.

Now, I don't know what I want to be. 

Adolescence had took me through a period of trying to find myself, trying to subside away from society's influence of how one should act. Is it social status? Is it body type? How big you bank account is? How appealing you are?

Let's just say it now and admit it. Society makes the people who don't have these traits outcasts. Especially in highschool where teenagers develop through some of the hardest periods of their lives. 

Digging around in scraps of what society's ideals are "supposed" to be.

Teenagers are so afraid of staying themselves through adolesence because there is a pressure to fit in. You lose yourself.

I finally understand why my parents bothered me so much in the transition from preadolescence to adolescence. They witness their children changing. 

Shying away from affection. But when did it become "uncool" to say I love you back in public? The love was always there in the beginning, why does it conceal itself through this stage?

We shut them out because we claim they don't get us. When in reality they see their child that was so bright and had the world in front of them begin to pick at themselves, change their hobbies, and their personality to sink into a sea of blank faces. Masks.

We need our parents the most to help remind us who we once were. 

People change. But when you find yourself lost or feel alone in a crowd of people, you'll remember you CHOSE to be this way. You denied help. You locked yourself in your room and swore that your parents were ruining your life when in actuality, they are the only trying to get you to remember who you ONCE WERE. 

That somebody was irreplaceable. That somebody was you