So I was literally about to write the next chapter for QTW however I felt like listening to EXO's promise and I watched this video that a lovely fan made, and it just reduced me to tears.

I'm not really the emotional type, but the reason I've realised that I'm so attached to the band is because they remind me a lot about what happened in the past.

Around the time I found out about them, my parents were very much on the verge of splitting, and to make it worse I moved house, which caused a lot of stress. When I moved there I was bored because I had no friends, and that's when I found out about EXO, and it was great and all because whenever my parents were shouting and such, I would just listen to their music whenever I could and it would calm me. Then my cat died, and since I'm an only child I was very attached to him since he had been around from the beginning of my life, and I remember listening to XOXO on the way back home in the car after my parents had told me he had to be put down. After a week or so of finding out about them, I found out Kris had left which was very sad, and then when I found out Luhan had left, my uncle died, he had cancer for a long time so naturally it made my parents very tense and the mood was always very depressing, and I'm not a depressing person so I didn't like it. I remember dropping my mum down in London so she could help my grandfather and aunt help out with the funeral, and then returning back home on the same day, and all I did was listen to my EXO playlist, all the way up until midnight. Not shortly after and my parents split. It was such a relief for me, but also it made my feel for emotionally disable (because neither would shut up about money and such) and I had no one to talk to really. So I would watch EXO and Super Junior, and I would watch EXO laugh and smile and say to myself, 'If they can be happy through hard times then so can I.'

It was good because I spent most of my time ignoring the fact that at the moment my life was kind of crappy and tried to concentrate on learning all the names of Super Junior XD.

A few months later, and news of Tao comes out. I'm not very happy of course but I bite it back, because around this time my friends know about my love for k-pop and tease me about it, ignoring the fact I have quite an emotional connect, and so I didn't want to be too serious about it, so when I told them I pouted and I screamed in a joking way 'WHY?!' And they laughed on que, but deep down I felt really saddened on how they were falling apart, sorta like me.

A day or so later, and I'm backstage of a school concert with my friends, and I'm listening to Call Me Baby, recently one of my friends had been distant and none of us could figure out why, and then finally she comes up to us, and I expect some sort of nice 'hello' cos I'm optimistic, but instead I turn my music down ever so slightly, and she says 'Sorry I don't think I should be in the group any more. You're all too mature for me and no one likes you (referring to our lack of popularity), sorry,' and then stands there as if she wants some sort of reply. I ignore my sad feelings and shrug at her and while the other just stare, one of them saying 'okay' she walks off.

The next song I think was Playboy, and I remember turning it up loudly in my ears and letting the others bicker about the situation of one of our friends leaving us because of what we couldn't help.

I look up to them because I think it takes a lot of will power to not just give up, especially hard for them because they have camera's and directors, expecting them to say a certain something and to do a certain motion, and they just do it because that's what they've worked hard for.

I hate crying about useless things like my life, because I know people have it tougher than me, so if I ever feel like crying, I watch a sad video of either an anime or something k-pop related, because I would prefer to cry over something like that than anything else.

LOL Kkaebsoooong~~~~