Why is it that I yearn for you?

Despite being the cause of my heartache.

Why do i keep searching for you

Even if I hurt just at the sight of you

 

In front of others, I smile

In their absence, I cry

My feelings are not for everyone to see

This pain I feel is only for me.

 

I say I'm okay

I say I'm fine

I'll get over it someday

And find someone else to like

 

Deep inside I'm not

Deep inside I'm hurt

I won't get over this so easily

Because there's no one else like you

 

How can you expect me

To find someone else

When my eyes have yet

To turn away from you

 

How can you expect me to feel ok

How can you expect to just laugh it off

To just shrug off the past

As if it never happened.

 

Not yet

I can't yet.

I can't be okay just yet.

I can't smile like before.

 

I can't feel the joy unlike before

If I could, I'd turn back time

And wish that my feelings never developed

Wish that I never fell

 

But it's too late

This pain won't go away

Even if I pray my hardest

I will continue shouldering it

 

How do I turn away?

How do I throw my feelings away?

How can I be okay again?

Just how can I do all this?

 

Honestly, why did it have to be you?

There are other people better

So many other people

But why you?

 

What do you have?

Why do I even love you so much?

Why is it that my thoughts are only you?

Why is it that I want you so much?

 

But now, these thoughts are useless

Why dwell when you've lost it?

Why question what you can never have?

Why make everything worse with such thoughts?

 

Why stab the dagger deeper?

Why not just pull it out

And just bleed until the time

When there's nothing else to bleed.

 

Let the river of tears flow

Let it wash away the pain

What's there will be gone eventually

Until the time when the waters of sadness are gone.

 

Do not dive deeper

It's time to surface

Take in a breath of fresh air

And admire the sky up high.

 

The struggles you've gone through

The hurt you've experienced

The joy you've felt on the way

They will be just mere memories

 

You can't expect me not to change

Because change

Is what forms this world

One should embrace it.

 

Like how a tree sheds its leaves

And with time, grow new ones

I will also shed my sorrows

And with time, I'll recover

 

The journey will be long

The path towards recovery

Won't be easy at all

But it's not impossible

 

I will make it there

What I need is strength

What I need is hope

What I need is faith.

 

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Just something I came up while I was alone. Oh well....