AP·OP·TO·SIS

Chapter 1 – I Remember

Kim Seok Jin

When Seokjin opened his eyes he was met by the same pale azure walls that have greeted him for nineteen years. Staring at them, his mind created images from the scratches and forgotten pencil marks. Sometimes it was countries on his walls, sometimes they were marks that held no symbolism at all. Sitting up, he heard the bustling of his mother in the kitchen behind his closed door. The faucet water was running and something sizzled on the grill. He knew there was supposed to be an obnoxious smell of food cooking invading his room, but it never did. “I hate my life,” he thought grabbing his phone from his night stand and tugging it out of the charger. He pressed the home button and slid down the notification bar. There were 6 messages, 5 notifications from apps, and 3 friend requests. This surprised him; what an eventful morning.

An incoming call came; Kim Haneul. He answered the call, throwing his blankets to the side, walking to his large double window in his room. “Hey,” he placed the phone on his shoulder, positioning his head to keep it in place and still talk. “Hello? Noona?” he placed his hands in the gap where the two curtains met and slid them both to their corresponding sides. The morning light illuminated his room. It was sudden, but he didn’t dare close his eyes. The mountain view of his window always made him feel some kind of serenity. He felt like he could see all of Anyang from where he stood. He turned around to look at his room again; the blue appeared whiter, his beige bed sheets seemed welcoming, and the Mario character actions figures looked brand new. Everything was spotless.

“Jin, did I wake you? I just wanted to know if there was anything you wanted from the grocery store.” In the background he could hear the swiping and beeping of the cashier machine along with far away voices and children’s whines.

Turning his head to look out the window again, he saw three people making their way up the steps. “Can you bring me some peaches? Uh, you know… if there’s any left.”

“Will do,” and with that she hung up.

Jin held his phone in his hand, waiting. He moved his feet to face his window comfortably, trying to see if he could recognize the group of people walking. He spotted a black set of hair first. “Not Namjoon…” then a blonde, “Did he dye his hair, again?” Finally a set of light ash brown, “Nope, he did not.” Their faces became visible now and he noticed they were all laughing, but they were still too far for him to hear them. There was a small buzz making his way up his spine, and he ran to his bedroom’s bathroom. On the mirror he saw his bed head and groaned; his face was oily and his eyes still swollen from sleep. Quickly, he twisted both the H & C handles and grabbed the Swedish egg soap his doctor had recommended, soaking it in water. After washing his face in a rush, Jin noticed the mess he created. Water slid down the mirror and some tiny puddles of water rested on his counter. He thought it was a situation that could be handled later now he just – “No!” After losing his focus on the hanging droplets on his mirror, he noticed his sleepwear; a matching soft sky blue with Super Star from Mario plastered all over. With a groan he ran out of the bathroom and snatched the blanket off his bed, throwing it over his body like a cape, tying it with a loose knot by his neck.

“Seokjin!” There were light taps on his window. He knew that voice all too well. Walking backwards to the window, he heard one of Namjoon’s friend talk.

“Why is he walking backwards?” The question sounded more slurred than clear words. Is he drunk?

With the sudden question, he thought after trying not to humiliate Namjoon he already did, without trying!

“WAH! Look at all those Mario action figures!” Seokjin heard a tapping on his window. This voice was much louder and overly joyful.

 Sighing, he gathered up the courage to just turn around and face them. He smiled, walking up closer to the window and waving at the trio. The guy with the blonde hair was shorter than the other two, while his other friend with black hair sported a gigantic smile. If Jin was being honest with himself, he’ll say the smile looked painful. “Uh, hey.”

Namjoon stepped up closer to the window, tapping it, getting Jin’s attention off of his friend. “Jin, remember how I told you I was collaborating with some other rappers I met?”

“Yeah! How could I forget! It was the same day of your big competition,” Jin kept up the joyful façade, but his eyes conveyed pain. How could he forget? How could he possibly forget seeing Namjoon, breathless, knocking on his window on an early afternoon his words going a mile per second telling him about a “rapping competition today in downtown Anyang. There’s going to be scouts there; I can feel it. It’s going to be packed! The first place winner gets to go to Nationals at Seoul. Wish me luck! I’m going to go practice!” No, how could he forget when night fell, mimicking his tear-stained pillow that suffocated in the dead silence. How could he? Embarrassed recalling that day, he looked down. “I wish I were there that day…”

Namjoon’s eyebrows shot up, scratching his nape, unsure of how to respond. He knew why Jin couldn’t go and he wasn’t about to remind him. He opted to introduce his friends to each other. “Yeah… but, I want you to meet them,” he casually swings his arm around the shortest of the three, “this is Yoongi.”

Yoongi groaned, grabbing Namjoon’s arm off his shoulders. “Or Suga. Pleasure.”

“And this is –“before Namjoon could finish his sentence, the one with the oh-so-wide-smile interrupted.

“I’m Jung Hoseok~ your hope~ J-Hope!” He stepped over to the front of the other two, doing some kind of puppy whine, waving over at Seokjin through the window. He leaned closer to his window, making shaped goggles out of his hands and pressing them to the window, peeking in. The guy practically shined. “Ah~ I love your Mario collection.”

Jin couldn’t help but burst out in laughter seeing Hoseok’s weird antics. Trying to compose himself, he brought both of his hands up and repeatedly slapped his cheeks to stop laughing. “Ah, sorry,” he took a few steps back to have enough distance between the window and his body and bowed, “I’m Kim Seokjin, Namjoon’s neighbor.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi tapped on the window, eyeing Jin from head to toe, “he told us about you.” Smirking, he turned away and faced the road ahead that led deeper into the neighborhood.

“Cya,” Hoseok followed behind Yoongi, and soon Namjoon waved Jin goodbye.

He watched them walk down until he wasn’t able to see them anymore. Seokjin hooked his fingers on the knot and pulled, letting the blanket fall to his spotless floor. Feeling guilty, he knelt down to pick it up just to ball it up and throw it on top of his bed. “Now where did I leave my phone…”He thought out loud turning around in the same spot until he saw his bathroom door.  “But is it worth it…no.” Jin pulled his reading chair from the corner of his room and positioned it in front of the window. Then he went to his wooden desk, unplugging his pastel pink laptop from the charger and putting it under his arm. Before opening it, he stared outside. The clouds temporarily blocked the sky darkened and the birds rested on the telephone lines. The leaves on the sidewalk flew with the breeze, and he knew that autumn was leaving and winter was approaching. Soon Anyang will be covered in fields of white he’s never touched and met with laughter he was never a part of.

“Do these people even know I exist?” he whispered to no one in particular while opening his laptop. Mindlessly he opened his browser, entering his 6 most frequently visited websites. Immediately, he got a notification in his chatroom.

뷔: Where have you been!?

핑크_진: Sorry just got on.

뷔: & my texts?

핑크_진: Ah…about that…

뷔: u r ruining dis family Harold

핑크_진: new phone who dis

뷔: HAROLD!

핑크_진: Where’s Kookie?

뷔: Um

핑크_진: …and you say I’m ruining this family

뷔: :(

침쩔어: I think he’s having another check-up

침쩔어: I’m the only one keeping this family together tbh

뷔: and you are…

Seokjin couldn’t keep up, he was already signing in to TERA and he knew he wouldn’t pay attention