When f(x) was first formed, Victoria hoped to get closer to Amber first since she was the other Chinese member of the group and thought they’d have some things in common with each other. Sadly, Amber didn’t speak much Mandarin at the time and was more comfortable speaking English. Often times Amber sought the company of Krystal since she spoke English and Korean fluently and would help Amber with her Korean. Amber and Krystal were also closer in age, only two years apart, and both came from California in America, leaving Victoria feeling even more isolated.

Sometime after their debut, f(x) was interviewed several times. As the leader, Victoria would start out the introduction, answering simple questions with her limited Korean, but when it came to more complicated questions, she left them to mostly Luna, Krystal, or Sulli. Victoria felt awkward just sitting there as the youngest of the group carried the group through the interviews.

But then she realized Amber was just the same. Besides saying her name, Amber was silent for all the interviews, cracking a smile or laughing when the others did, even though she didn’t know what was being said. Somewhere in between their La Cha Ta promotions, Victoria became closer to Amber like she wished. The reason? It was because they both couldn’t speak Korean well. It was a strange thing to bring two people closer, but for her and Amber, it worked well.

She and Amber had difficulties communicating at first. They could only speak to each other in Korean at a basic level, unable to have deep conversations with each other. But it eventually didn’t matter. Victoria learned that Amber was like a playful little boy, always doing silly things to make others laugh. She would laugh and join the tomboy if possible, and through their odd dances and their playful actions, a strong bond soon formed between them. Although they were the oldest, they both acted like children at times, but it was that trait that brought them together. In the early stages of their relationship, words weren’t always necessary to understand each other. Actions spoke louder than words.

~~~

Victoria recalled the first moment she cried in front of Amber.

It happened in the middle of their promotions for Chu. By this time, Victoria and Amber’s Korean have improved slightly and could express their feelings and thoughts more in Korean. Victoria was also given the nickname, Vic omma, due to being the oldest but also her mother-like attitude, especially towards her members. In addition to being a leader, Victoria would also do her best to be a mother figure to the rest of f(x). She would sadly muse at how young everyone else was, and could see them missing their parents. For her children, her members, Victoria did her best to comfort them and stand in as their f(x) omma, always smiling for them.

But because she had to be strong for her members, Victoria rarely revealed her own inner sadness. Even though she’s been accustomed to Korea by this point, it was still difficult being in a foreign country without her own parents. She missed her mom, even more so when her members start to talk about their parents. No matter how much Victoria wanted to fly back to China, she knew it was nearly impossible now that she was a part of f(x). It was during those times Victoria experienced such painful and lonely hardships.

Victoria never wanted to worry her members, so whenever she felt like crying, she would go to the roof of their apartment alone. She didn’t do it often, but she did it often enough for her members to notice her sudden disappearance from the dorm. Whenever they asked where she went, Victoria would lie and say she wanted to enjoy some fresh air while stretching.

One night, Victoria needed to cry, feeling the weight of responsibilities, stress, and homesickness on her shoulders, and immediately went up to the roof. She wasn’t sure how long she was up there, but Victoria was there long enough for her cheeks to be stained with her salty tears. The sound of the door opening behind her startled Victoria, and she was surprised to find Amber standing there. Victoria quickly wiped her eyes, but she knew Amber saw her teary eyes.

Amber slowly approached her, looking concerned. “Unnie? Are… you crying?”

Victoria shook her head and smiled, but the tears kept forming.

“Why are you crying?” Amber asked softly.

It became difficult to keep her smile up, but Victoria did anyway. “I’m just tired. That’s all.”

The tomboy frowned. “Is this where you go when you leave the dorm?”

Victoria remained silent. The leader squeaked when Amber suddenly embraced her tightly. She blinked in confusion.

“You don’t…. um…” Amber struggled, trying to find the words. “You don’t have to be… strong… all the time. You have your members here for you. If… If Victoria unnie needs to cry, we’ll be there to comfort you… like how you’re always there for us.”

Victoria’s lower lip began to tremble as she could feel tears forming.

Amber slowly the older woman’s hair. “It’s okay… You can cry in front of us… in front of me. I’ll be your pillar of support so… so please just don’t cry alone anymore.”

Unable to hold back any longer, Victoria buried her face and sobbed hard into Amber’s shoulder, letting herself go. Amber continued to hold her, not saying anything and let her cry her heart out.

After that, Victoria learned to be more open about her feelings with the rest of her members, and she learned how valuable her friendship with Amber was.

~~~

A/N: Hello readers! Writer Wooper here (: Sorry it took me so long to get the first chapter up, but I hope you guys liked it. Each chapter will feature a member, and it will go in descending order in terms of age! Next chapter will be Luna! Till next time :D