Chaewon has always looked good under the moonlight.

 

Minju already knew this, and yet she had always loved looking at her as they walked through the night, gazing at the stars and laughing at jokes that only they could understand.

 

Home is truly where she is.

 

Was.

 

"There was a time where I would have said see you tomorrow, " Chaewon comments as she stops in front of her home, and Minju lets out a shaky sigh as she nods. "Now, would it hurt if I told you goodbye? "

 

There was a time where goodbye filled her with hope.

 

Where goodbye meant see you later, where it meant that she'd see her again tomorrow or maybe next week, but now goodbye feels permanent.

 

Chaewon's goodbye felt like it shouldn't exist. 

 

The goodbye felt like it was illegal, like it was something that should never come from the girl's lips. The goodbye felt like it was a sin, something that should never exist between the two of them.

 

The goodbye felt like a curse.

 

"Maybe it shouldn't hurt," Minju says hopefully, smiling as she reaches out to hold the girl's hand. "Maybe it shouldn't be as permanent as it has to be."

 

"But it should," Chaewon sighs. "It is permanent, this time."

 

"Wouldn't you get hurt?"

 

"Yes," Chaewon whispers, and she reaches out to hold Minju's hand as well. "It will. A lot."

 

"Maybe it shouldn't happen," Minju suggests, though she knows that everything she's saying would only do so little in this current situation. "Maybe you don't have to go."

 

"But I have to… For us."

 

"No," Minju reminded her. "You can stay, for us."

 

"But it wouldn't be the best thing to do." 

 

"Chaewon—"

 

"Staying wouldn't be the best thing to do if all it does is hurt you."

 

Hurt?

 

"I don't know if I'm in pain," Minju says, confused. "I'm not in pain. I never was—"

 

"You are," Chaewon says, smiling as she hugged her tight, but all Minju could feel was the warmth that the girl had always given her. "You always would be, because you have to know that I'm not the best for you."

 

"You are the best for me—"

 

"I don't love you anymore," Chaewon says, reminding her as to why the goodbye is permanent this time. "Have you forgotten that I told you that?"

 

Silence took over for the both of them as they stayed in the embrace, and Minju wanted to kiss her right then and there but she knew that she couldn't.

 

She was scared of how cold it could be. How cold it would be, kissing someone's lips devoid of love that once existed before