Will This Rain Comfort Me?
Rain Sound Sequel : Will This Rain Comfort Me : Daehyun's Story
Will This Rain Comfort Me?
Rain Sound Sequel
" ... Huhoe ttawin eobseo nan eobseo
Neol gidaril geora saenggaghaji ma
Miryeon ttawin eobseo nan eobseo
Neoege modeun geol da jwosseunikka
Doedollil sun eobseo nan eobseo
Han tolui gamjeongdo nan eobseunikka
Nunmul hanbeon peongpeong heulligo neoreul jiwo beoryeojulge
Ijen Time To Say Goodbye ..."
" ... I have no regrets, I have no more
Don't think that I'll be waiting for you
I have no lingering attachments, I have no more
I gave you everything already
Things can't be turned back, You're not here
I don't have an ounce of emotions left
I'll cry my eyes out one last time and erase you
Now it's time to say Goodbye ..."
Daehyun: Everyone thinks I'm the hilarious clown in the group and that I don't have emotions but they're wrong. I have many ... to much to the point where I can't let it out. I smile when I can and frown when I'm exhausted. That's how it's been since she left ... and she's not coming back.
--- A Year Ago ---
Jin Ae: Oppa. Guess what?
Daehyun: What is it?
Jin Ae: I got a scholarship to America to further my dancing.
Daehyun: That's great.
Jin Ae: It's good news however, I'm going to miss you.
Daehyun: How long are you going for?
Jin Ae: Two years.
Daehyun: That's so long.
Jin Ae: It won't if you don't think about it. You'll be famous soon and have pleanty of schedules, by the time you realize, I'll be back.
Daehyun: Promise?
Jin Ae: Promise.
A week past and she's preparing to leave the country. I sent her to the airport. Holding her hand tight because I didn't want to let her go. Her departure means I won't get to see her, I won't get to hold her hands and see her beautiful face.
Daehyun: Promise me to call me when you get there.
Jin Ae: Promise.
Daehyun: Call me daily.
Jin Ae: Okay.
Daehyun: Remember to dress appropriate to the weather.
Jin Ae: Of Course.
Daehyun: And ...
Jin Ae: You will always be with me.
Jin Ae said while showing the bracelet he gave her, to wear everywhere so she knows he's always with her.
Jin Ae: I'll do my best and hurry back.
I remember hugging her tight in my arms. Everything else is blurry like it wasn't a memory I should remember.
---
Daehyun: She promised. She promised and she lied. Everything she said, every word she said; it was all lies. She'll never come back and she won't come back, I know ... I know because I saw it with my own eyes.
While she was schoolling in America, I was training hard as a traniee to become a singer. Everyday was exhausting but I kept up with the fight because all I thought was about her. She was my motivation to keep on going.
Before I even enter the company, I get calls from her daily. We sweet talk and I tell her how much I loved her, she did the same. I felt happy for a moment because I knew that the distant wouldn't stop our heart from each other. However, when I entered the company, I couldn't talk to her much since the President wouldn't allow us to have cellular devices. All I had was a computer to shared with the other members. My daily routine was: Wake up early in the morning to train, eat lunch then dance practice, dinner then singing lessons; by nightfalls, I go back to the dorm and check my email. I will constantly receive emails from her. I'm smiling and reading at the same time, I'm thinking how lovely she is to tell me how she's doing and what she's doing. She studying hard and she's also having a hard time; as hard as I'm having at the moment.
Jin Ae: Oppa, I went to class today and made another new friend. She's lovely yet shy. She doesn't talk much but was able to open up when I talked about you. Boyfriend was usually the only topic to get her to talk. Haha. It's so exhausting over here, I get up early to go to school and have dance practice at night. I don't get back to my apartment until late at night. I hope you're doing well over there. I miss you so much. I want to come back and see you. Although it's only been 4 months since I left South Korea; it feels like it's been years. I'll study hard and hurry back, wait for me. I love you.
I know it must been hard on her since she's not a native in the country and her English is not the best but I believe she'll do just fine.
Daehyun: Oppa's doing fine. It's exhausting over here as well. We're no different from one another. I'm training hard but I always remember my lovely Jin Ae who's studying hard. You're the strength I have everyday to keep on going and I want you to be that strength forever. I'm happy that you found another friend. Hopefully she keeps you company so you won't get lonely. Don't talk nonsense about me, alright? Haha. I miss you too. Hurry back, I'll be waiting. I love you.
It's been like that for the next three months until exams comes in and she's studying hard that she barely gets the chance to email me. From paragraphs to a few lines like, "I'm busy with exams and practice." I was grateful to see that she still cares for me.
Finally when the members and I Debut, I was so busy with schedules; music shows, awards, radios, talk show and many other. I rarely get the chance to get online to check any mails. I was thinking to myself that she might be mad that I haven't reply back to her that my email was filled with her messages. I was restless. Right before attending the award event, our President calls the members in to talk.
President: You all know tonight is the big night.
Members: Yes.
President: And you all know you guys are nominated for Best Rookie Award, Best Male Group in 2012 and Song of the month.
Members: Yes.
President: If you take all awards back, I'll give you a week of vacation break.
I remember all members looking at each other with excite in our face expressions. We've been working hard for this moment and I really feel like I need a break.
Members: Understand.
It's not just me who feel the excitment but so does the members. We're all praying and wishing to bring back all awards. Sitting in the lobby, I see a lot of artists and rookies. As I'm sitting and thinking, I'm starting to doubt that we're going to get the award because I've searched up and the opponent isn't a joke, "BtoB" and "NU'EST". I'm squeezing my hands together, I could feel my palms wet filled with sweats.
MC: We'll start to annouce the Best Rookie of 2012. Top Five Nominees are: BtoB from Cube Entertainment, SPICA from B2M Entertainment, B.A.P. from TS Entertainment, EXID from AB Entertainment and NU'EST from Pledis Entertainment. Drumroll please.
As I'm closing my eyes praying, all I could think about was Jin Ae. The girl that's waiting for me.
MC: And the Best Rookie of 2012 is ... B.A.P. from TS Entertainment!
I was able to breath because our name was announced. Now all I'm aiming for was the next two awards. And our night ended beautifully. We took home all three awards that we're nominated for. Not that I was relief, I was for happy that we all will taking a break. The president kept his promise, he treated us for dinner and gave us our break.
Since we're still rookies and didn't want to deal with the press, we all decided to stay in the dorm and only go out when neccessary. Since there's six males in the dorm and only two computers, we took turns. Yongguk-hyung, Himchan-hyung and I are in one computer; Youngjae, Jongup and Junhong are on the other. We didn't have much to do so we just surf the internet.
After a long wait, it was my turn to use the computer. As I typed in my email before typing the password, I hesitate. I felt uneasy for some reason, my gut feelings are telling me not to check but my emotions are telling me to. As I slowly typed in my password, the loading screen came on. I gently closed my eyes afraid of seeing her emails flooding my inbox. As I slowly and calmly open my eyes, I was more afraid of anything in the world. In bold black numbers, I was surprised and shock myself. I didn't believe it, it wasn't something I expected. Inbox (0), all I could do was stare at the screen with my eyes open not believing what I'm seeing. I clicked the inbox and nothing new popped out except old messages from her. "After this long and she haven't message me? Did something happen? Is she sick? Is she hurt? She must be busy?" All sorts of questions starts to pop in my mind. I became confused and frustrated.
Daehyun: Jin Ae-ah, it's me Oppa. How are you? Are you busy? You haven't wrote to me in months. Did something happen? I miss you.
For the week, I checked my email and message her daily hoping something new will come in my mail but none did. I was clueless of what's going on and impatient of waiting. I wanted to know and that was the only thing in my mind. I skipped meals, all I did was wait. When it came to Sunday, the day before going back to train. I checked my email again wishing she'll say something. "She has to reply. She must reply." I thought as I logged in. Inbox (0), I still didn't understand why she hasn't reply my messages.
Daehyun: Jin Ae-ah, I don't know what happen to you but if you get this message, please reply back. I just want to know that you're doing fine. I love you.
Those were the words I wrote before sending it to her. As I sadly shut the computer down and turn the power off, I felt something's wasn't right. It felt like a bullet in my chest. It was a feeling I couldn't explain, I wasn't able to explain it to myself why I felt that way.
More weeks has gone by and still no reply from her. I'm starting to worry what will happen and how I'm doing inside. We're getting more busier than ever since we've been known to the world; our calendar was fill with schedules. We're going Japan to release a Japanese Album.
As we're waiting in the back stage to get ready to go on stage, Yongguk-hyun is talking to the members how to behave and do our best. I was happy that we're actually going global. My heart was pounding and I was nervous. Praying to myself the stage. "Please let the time go by quickly so I will have her back." The member and I walked up stage and start performing. The show end perfectly. No mistake was made. As we went back inside the van to our next schedule, I overheard Yongguk cusing into the phone. "I bet he's arguing again." He's like that, he never shouts or yell but his words are always so harsh. The next schedule was a Radio Talk. When we arrive, everyone quickly went inside because it started to rain. We're waiting inside the lobby for the elevator to arrive when something caught my eyes. I didn't want to think much but it was bothering me.
Hand in hand, smiling and laughing; she looks happy. "Wasn't she suppose to be in America? She still have half a year before coming back. Who is her? Why is she with him? Why is she smiling like that?" Those questions came to me without realizing. The girl I've waited so long for is with someone else. I couldn't help myself but approach her manly.
Daehyun: Jin Ae.
She sees me and her smile turned into a frown. She was surprise to see me here.
Jin Ae: Eo.
She didn't call me 'Oppa' like how she used to. I was like a stranger to her.
Boyfriend: Jin-ah, do you know him?
Jin Ae: Aniyo. I don't.
He pull her in quickly and walk away. It didn't hurt me that she was with another man because I felt from the start that something like this would happen. What hurt me was she acted like she never knew me. With everything we've been through, she's pretending like it all never happen. "What did I do wrong?"
After the radio, we went back to our dorm. I quickly went inside my room and dial her old number hoping to reach her. As I wait for the ring, a voice greeted me. "Yobeoseyo?" I hesitate because I could hear her voice. "Jin Ae-ah, It's me Daehyun." I stutter while trying to reply.
Jin Ae: Eo. How are you?
Daehyun: Can you explain something to me?
I constantly have questions to ask but I didn't want to overwhelm her with anything.
Daehyun: Is it over between us?
Jin Ae: Oppa, mianhae.
Her voice was so sweet yet so cold. I never imagine in a thousand years that we'll end up breaking up.
Jin Ae: I hope you understand.
Daehyun: I'm happy for you.
We hung up and my voice starts to crack. "It's over. It's really over." I remember not sleeping but laying in my bed staring into the ceilings. I held back my tears because I didn't want to show it but inside I'm bursting.
It's been two weeks since the incident. Slowly, I'm letting everything go. I knew I didn't do nothing for her like the other man. He was there to support her and stand by herside and I'm always letting her do what she like. Sitting inside the van heading to the Music Show, I'm by the window thinking about all the things in the past I wished I could change. But, the truth is I wouldn't because everything happen for a reason. Even if I told her not to go, even if I held her back and didn't become a singer; she'll eventually go her own way. I gently wipe the fog off the window and stare outside into the cloudy rainy sky. "Will this rain comfort me? Why am I alone?" All I could do right now is wish the best for her and her future. It's funny how everyone thinks I'm the hilarious clown in the group and that I don't have emotions, but they're wrong. I have many, too much to the point where I can't let it out. I'm a singer, I'm an Idol. I smile when I'm in front of others but frown when I'm behind doors. I guess I'm just exhausted from reality. That's how it's been since she left ... and she's not coming back.
Inspiration from "Rain Sound" by B.A.P
Story By kraziieee
One Shot Story
Rain Sound Sequel : Don't Come Back : Bang Yongguk : Coming Soon
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