The first thing that welcomed them upon arriving at Jimin’s choice of restaurant is the really hectic atmosphere of the place. Customers are everywhere, tables are full, waiters rushing from table to table and the buzzing sounds of kitchen utensils on the far right corner of the Italian restaurant. A group consisting of six friends can only sigh mentally. They can’t really back out since they have driven for almost an hour just to get here. Also, since Jimin really wanted to try the Italian cuisine in this specific resto, despite their grumbling stomachs - they waited… for a good thirty minutes while standing. 

“What should we order?” Yeji broke the silence after they had finally settled on one of the restaurant’s tables.  

“Wait, let me just gather my breath.” Ningning dramatically uttered while fanning herself with her hands, the very action caused her other friends to laugh with the usual exception of the exes who opt to sit on the opposite sides of the table. Upon noticing the behavior of the two, the other four can only look at them with sadness but with a hint of annoyance because for them they clearly still harbor feelings for each other.

It has been almost a year since the two of them broke up, the first three months were a mess. Their group at that time was a mess. They even find the need to split for the meantime to take care equally of the broken souls. Ryujin and Ningning being Minjeong’s original friends stick with the girl after of course incessant reaching out attempts. Minjeong is the type of person that once she’s hurt, her coping mechanism is to cut everyone out of her life until she recovers. Jimin is the total opposite, once she is down, she usually sticks with her friends doing almost everything just to forget her messy thoughts. Yeji and Giselle’s paths weren’t all smooth despite not having any difficulty reaching out to the girl. Partying almost every night, rock climbing and hiking on some days during the weekend. They even went to Paris for two days and on the next days in Greece because Jimin just felt like it. 

They informed them that it was a mutual decision so they had expected for both Jimin and Minjeong to somehow recover at a faster rate than the couple who cut their ties with hard feelings. But oh boy, they were so wrong with it. 

The impending bickering that is bound to happen with this night out can prove to that. 

“I don’t really know what to order.” Minjeong mumbled softly to Ryujin after the girl asked her what her order was. 

A stern whisper came instantly at her reply, “You always don’t know what you want.” Minjeong knows it is Jimin even though she will not look up from the menu to trace who has the audacity to tell it to her face. 

As if on cue, Giselle squeezes Jimin’s thigh to calm the girl and when Minjeong finally looks up, it is Ryujin giving her a smile that screams ‘just understand her’ welcoming her. Winter sigh for the nth time that night. 

Be the bigger person, Minjeong-ah. She constantly chants to herself. 

To finally solve the problem, she just chose the first word that caught her attention on the menu - Gnocchi. Despite not having any idea what the dish is, Minjeong just goes with it because she finds the word somehow cute. 

Conversations flow smoothly on their table as they await their orders. Minjeong, who is fond of just listening to everyone talk, opt to watch the funny bickerings of her friends including Jimin. Ever since, the older girl is the extroverted one between the two of them. Seeing how Jimin can now freely laugh her heart out, made Minjeong to feel a sense of relief inside of her. At least, despite their fall out, their circle remains intact although awkwardness is inevitable from time to time. 

Before her mind will reel her back to the past and what could have been, Minjeong keeps one thought before engaging into a conversation with Ryujin - that what she ordered a while ago is at least edible. 

She should have pushed her wish to maybe at least make it delicious because unfortunately, the dish is not up for her liking. Although she can eat it. 

A round of satisfied comments can be heard from others as they happily munch on their food and when her still quiet behavior became noticeable, Giselle finally took the initiative to ask her in which she realized after the storm that she should have just kept quiet. 

“Do you not like it, Minjeong-ah?” Curious eyes landed on her as they waited for her to reply although the answer was already clear from the barely eaten food. 

“It is not that I don’t like it, I just don’t find it delicious.” Her answer makes sense to everyone but apparently not to the girl sitting on the other end. 

“Oh God, at least for once make up your mind.” as those were let out of , a sudden flash of anger bubbled inside Winter. To hell with being the bigger person. 

“Jimin-ah…” Yeji interjected, as much as she is willing to understand where the latter is coming from, she does know that she sometimes goes overboard with her words. 

“Wow, then sorry if I am not like you who’s so decisive in life.” Minjeong finally fired back. 

Sensing that the two will not stop from this moment onwards until they'll get tired of fighting, the other four can only sigh. Expecting for doom to fall upon them. 

“You can if you will just try, there is a ing lasagna in the menu, Kim Minjeong.” Jimin pointed out. Minjeong’s mind somehow went a little hazy at the thought that the girl still remembers her soul food but her annoyance clouded that realization. It is always like this, Jimin is too keen to make her feel like she cannot stand on her own. Her behavior might be the driving force for the girl to think and act that way but it is not necessary to rub it in front of her face over trivial things. 

Winter’s personality is up for a decisive partner. She knows that, that is why, it is just fine for her that the latter is the one leading on their relationship but she knows she is entitled to her own decisions too especially when her happiness is on the line. 

“If only I knew, I should have done so!” 

“If this, If that. When will you grow up?!” This time the girl is even standing up to get her point across. Seeing how several eyes have darted towards them, Giselle abruptly pulled down the obviously fuming girl.

“Hey, stop it you two. Some are even looking at u—” 

“We don’t care.” the two answered in unison, cutting Giselle’s words. Being fed up with the situation and realizing that this is not exactly a foreign occurrence - in fact, it happens all the time they have dinner dates, they finally just let the two be. 

Feeling tired of the same situation over and over again, Minjeong immediately gathered her things after a few seconds of having an angry staring session with Jimin. 

The girl as usually will not back out. 

And Minjeong always chooses not to stay. 

Ryujin even tried to pull the girl back to her seat but to her dismay the latter just brushed her hand away. 

“Minjeong-ah.” She heard Yeji and Ningning call out to her, their pleading faces on display. That almost does the work. Almost. Because after seeing Jimin's expression that is still glaring at her. Clearly, her presence isn't really welcomed by her. The feeling is mutual by the way at the moment. So, might as well do the both of them a favor, and bolt out of there. 

Before rounding the aisle to finally walk out of the scene, Minjeong turned around towards the older girl and in her laced with bitterness voice, she uttered seriously with a cold expression, “I just hope that this will be the last time you will meddle in anything related to me, Yu Jimin.” With the calling of her full Korean name, Jimin’s strong facade faltered for a few seconds before her expression turned into stoic again.

“We are not together anymore. And besides, I am doing just fine…” the girl paused for a while before continuing to which anyone knowing their history would be rendered speechless. 

“...even without you.” A gasp from Ningning echoed in their place, while the other three people could only look dumbfoundedly at the two, gauging both their expressions. Everyone is surely taken aback by that rebuttal. Even if they cannot count on their fingers how many times the two ex-lovers have ended up fighting in front of them. This was actually the first time that Minjeong uttered these kinds of words towards Jimin. Words that have too much weight. 

“So, unless we’re back together, which I doubt will ever happen by how hard-headed you are. Remember that you don't have a right anymore.” With those last words, Minjeong flew out of the scene with fast strides. 

Minutes passed after the girl walked out, and still all of them cannot even utter any words. Well, the four people caught in between do not even know if there are words they can find that are appropriate to say at the moment. They can only gaze at Jimin worriedly who is now just staring blankly at the food in front of her. 

After much thought, the girl slowly stood up as if in a daze. Minjeong's words float on the back of her mind like a record. 

"I'll b-better head out too." 

"Rina, you can stay. We can even talk it---" 

"N-no. I'm  fine. I'm j-just… " still finding the right words to say. 

"I'm just sorry for ruining the night." 

"Goodbye. Enjoy yourselves, hmmm?" That was the last word the girl uttered while faking a smile before sullenly walking out of the resto. 

Ningning was going to talk back, “How can we?” but the cat got her tongue upon noticing the older girl’s expression. Minjeong might have hurt a nerve with her words. Scratch the ‘might’, ‘really’ is the right term. 

The mood is already down so the ones left just call it a night. They’re full of sighs even on their way back. Jimin and Minjeong’s quarrels back then usually just ended up with them glaring into each other until their table would go back to its normal course but today seems to not really be the same case. Each one of them just hopes that what happened tonight have put some sense on their dumb friends’ heads. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Reason 1: The best for me isn’t always the thing that can make me happy 

Minjeong’s ears perked up at the sound of their apartment’s door unlocking. Yes, you heard it right - ‘their’. Hers and her girlfriend, Jimin. Being together since their freshman year in college up until now that Jimin is planning to enter medical school upon completing a degree in Biology and Minjeong being keen to finally pursue literary writing which is her first career choice, they have finally taken a leap on their relationship as they moved in together last month. 

At the sound of her girlfriend’s footsteps, Minjeong immediately straightened her posture while beaming at the entering figure in the doorway. Tired eyes were what welcomed her and she immediately opened her arms to welcome Jimin’s almost lifeless body. She guesses that the entrance exam for that one university must have been gruelling. 

She heard Jimin heave a sigh when she entered her warm space. The girl automatically buried her face on the crook of Minjeong’s neck. It was ticklish as always but if providing the girl her much needed warmth is all she can do to somehow relieve the older’s stress, then so be it. 

Minutes passed with them just hugging, Minjeong proceeded to caress the girl’s back softly as she waited for the girl to tell her about what had transpired on her day. 

“I’ve got the results immediately…” the girl started, now she’s pulling herself up to look at Minjeong. The latter gives Jimin a smile, knowing that she has surely done well. 

“Hmmm…let me guess.” Minjeong gestures like she is thinking, with the younger girl’s cute antics, it didn’t fail to make Jimin laugh her heart out. It is not a surprise though for she always finds Minjeong adorable. 

“I know you’ve passed, bub. You are always amazing.” Jimin’s eyes soften even more with how her girlfriend has too much trust and faith in her. 

She stayed mum for a few seconds, trying to tease the girl. When she finally nodded with a bright smile on her face, Minjeong excitedly carried her as they both jumped in joy. 

The success of one is also the success of the other. 

But can their relationship withstand the predicament of another? 

“Bub, I just remembered, were your results also out?” Jimin called out to Minjeong who’s in the living room while she’s now washing the dishes. The older one pertains to the entrance exam results of the younger in one of the few schools that offered literary arts.

At the topic, Minjeong tenses. She is hoping to avoid this until she has firmly made up her mind. Sticking to her decision for the past days, she tells the latter the truth. 

She slowly walks to where the girl is, sensing that this will become a serious talk, “It came out on Monday.” At the newfound information, Jimin stops what she is doing and faces the younger to give her full attention.

“Really? Why haven’t you mentioned anything to me?” her understanding voice on full display. Although she is kind of hurt that Minjeong didn't tell her right away, she knows the girl like the back of her hand. There must be a reason for it. 

“I am trying to come up with a decision.” 

Oh. 

Flashes of the moments for the past days wherein she asks the girl, “Minjeong-ah, why are you not sleeping yet?” entered the back of her mind. She should have known by then that something is bothering the latter. 

Jimin gently cups the girl’s cheeks, trying to somehow alleviate her worries. 

“I got accepted.” Minjeong uttered lowly.
 

“Oh…” Jimin looks at her with confusion, lacing her features. They should be happy, right? 

“Shouldn’t we celebrate?” 

“You just got in! Congratulations, Minjeong-ah!” Jimin happily stated while kissing the girl’s cheek. 

When the girl didn’t budge even a bit, that’s the time a realization finally hits Jimin. 

“I would be away from you, unnie.” At the word ‘unnie’, Jimin knows that her girlfriend is in a vulnerable state. 

She abruptly cradles the girl’s cheeks again “H-hey look at me…” 

“We will be fine, okay?” 

“It is a two-hour trip by train, unnie…” she cannot even continue the thing that’s plausible to happen. Minjeong just cannot. They have been together for so long to be separated like this. 

Jimin, knowing where the younger girl’s statement is heading, tries to reassure Minjeong again. 

“You know we can visit each other. I can visit you on the weekends. And on weekdays, we can call each other after our classes.” 

Minjeong shook her head at the older’s ideas. It is still different from actually seeing, holding and talking to each other. 

“Minjeong-ah…” Jimin seriously uttered to somehow put sense on her girlfriend’s stubborn self. The latter usually lets her decide but when she takes the initiative to choose for herself, Jimin knows that the younger one will usually just take into account what she wants. 

“This has been your dream. I have seen your demotivated self while you are trying to finish a course that in the first place you don’t really want. Now that you are one step closer to finally pursuing something that you like, don’t waste it, hmmm?” 

“We can always work it out.” she mumbled while smiling softly. But deep inside she knew that she is not a hundred percent sure with that. Their feelings cannot be doubted for they truly love each other. But she cannot say the same thing to the circumstances that they’ll be in once they are miles away from one another.

“I told you, unnie. I don’t want to be separated from you. Long-distance relationships usually end up in shambles. We both knew that. We have been going strong for how many years already, I don’t want to cause something that will make us fall apart…” 

“I can’t lose you, unnie.” with her last words, Minjeong felt a tear roll down her cheek. Maybe it is the frustration, her internal turmoil and her girlfriend’s contradicting ideas that she just cannot stop herself from feeling helpless. When Jimin is this decisive, Minjeong knows that it is unlikely to change her mind and it is unlikely for her to win. Which leaves her to maybe…leave this safe place that they both created. She just can't. 

Jimin is fast to wipe her tears, she knows that this isn’t an easy decision for the girl. In fact, it is really hard. She too is afraid of what their decision might bring to them and to their relationship, but if one thing is for sure - Jimin will not make herself be the hindrance to Minjeong’s dreams. 

“Minjeong-ah…” she started. 

“You really want this, do you?” Jimin asks the important question first. It took a while for the girl to answer but a nod eventually followed suit. 

The older girl nodded in understanding. 

“Then that’s it. You know that I will always support you and I trust you and our relationship—” 

“Yah! I told you that I don’t want to be away from you! And besides I just received a job offer as a researcher at a science government agency. I should just tak—” 

“We both know you hate that thing.”

“I hated your guts also back then, but I grew to love you, right?” Minjeong playfully fired back. 

“That isn’t the same thing.” Now, Jimin is slowly getting riled up. 

“Anyways, back to the main point. As much as you don’t want us to be separated Minjeong-ah, so do I. But along the way we are bound to make sacrifices. It will not always be rainbows and butterflies. We also need to compromise.” 

This time she took the initiative to hug the girl before continuing. 

“I just cannot afford to see you live a life that is not what you really want. I want you to be happy. And the best way to do that is to pursue the career that you like. Don’t think about me or about us too much, think first of the things that can make you happy.” 

“It is you, unnie…” 

“Hey, don't be silly this time.” Jimin broke the hug and proceeded to pinch the girl’s cheek; she even pecked her obviously pouting lips. 

“But it really is you.” 

“You think you can woo me with that? It is somehow working but…no. Just listen to me, hmmm? Attend that university, bub. We’ll work our relationship together.” 

Sensing that her arguments seemed futile, Minjeong mentally raised the white flag, finally surrendering… just this time though. Jimin wins this time but she will make sure that she can convince the girl by the time they’ll talk again. 

Unbeknownst to them, that is the start of everything. Their fights and even their 

break-up. 

“Hey, I thought we’re already done with this topic, Kim Minjeong.” 

“I never agreed in the first place, unnie!” 

“Why are you so stubborn?! Can’t you just listen to me?!” 

“I always listen to you! You know that.” 

“Then why can’t you just do the same this time?!” 

“I just can’t! When we’re going to be separated!” 

“Yah! Your life shouldn’t just depend on me, Kim Minjeong. When will you grow up?” 

Jimin’s last words shut her up. So, all these time, her girlfriend still thinks that she’s some sort of an immature person. 

With one last glare towards the older, she stormed out of their apartment. That fight was their first big fight after the one they’ve had in their second year of being together. And it was the first time that they slept separately since they moved in together. 

Finally, experiencing first hand how it feels to be somewhat away from the older, although with different reasons, Minjeong’s resolve grew firmer. 

And another fight happened. 

“It is you who always makes the decision in our relationship, unnie. Let me decide this time, please. I will not go. I will stay and that’s it.” 

“We both know why I am always the one deciding. And your behavior right now proves it. You are always ruled by your emotions. That shouldn’t be the case always, Minjeong-ah.” 

“Is it wrong to be with you?” 

“It is when your future is on the line!” 

“I don’t care about it!” 

“See? You are being immature again!” 

“You really think about me like that, huh?” 

“I cannot help it when you are acting like one. Maybe try not to next time.” 

“Wow, okay. I am sorry, Ms. Perfect.” 

“You know what, this keeps on getting ridiculous. Let’s just stop it. I am not up for any of your bull.” 

And another. 

“What is this?” Minjeong asked when her girlfriend handed her a bunch of papers. 

“I have compiled the apartments near your university. The top is probably your best choice. I have also contacted some of the landl—”

At the mention of the same topic again, Minjeong automatically sighs in annoyance. Her grip on the paper tightened in an instant. 

“How many times will I tell you, unnie, that I am not moving out?” 

“And how many times will I tell you to listen to me?” Jimin uttered back with the same sternness. 

“Not this one again. This is my decision to make, Jimin-ah. Don’t meddle this time.” 

“How can you say that when the reason you are blurting all the time is because of me? Can you imagine my guilt if ever you will be stuck in a job or a career that you don’t even like?” 

“So, all these time, these are all about you and your guilt? It is always you and never us or me?” 

“What?! I am doing this for you! Can’t you understand that?!” 

“You just said your reason, unnie.” 

“When will I ever get into your stubborn head, Kim Minjeong?” Jimin frustratingly exclaimed. 

“Maybe never, if you're being selfish as always.” 

“Yah, don’t even give me that idea. Do you honestly hear yourself? When did I ever get selfish in this relationship?!” 

It must have been the anger, hurt and frustrations that they have ended up saying things they cannot take back anymore. 

“If there is a selfish one in this relationship, it is you, Minjeong. It is always up to me! I am always the one leading this relationship because you cannot even make up your mind for ’s sake! And you call me selfish this time?!” 

“J-just…” the older girl cannot even utter a word properly because of how taken aback when she was called selfish by someone whom she mostly spent her youth with. If there is anyone who should know her in a more positive light, it should be her girlfriend for five years already. 

“How dare you?” Minjeong immediately snapped out of her angry self when she heard the helplessness and the disappointment in Jimin’s words and expression.

“U-unnie, I am sorry…” she was going to reach out for the latter’s hand when the older angrily stormed out of their apartment. 

Reason #2: What can make me happy isn’t always the best thing for me. 

Minjeong fidgets on her seat, clearly nervous. After a few days of Jimin not showing up at their apartment after their last fight. The older girl just texted her to not worry for her and that she will stay with Giselle for the time-being. Minjeong’s anxiety shot up when she received another text from her girlfriend asking her if they could meet up. Putting two and two together, this meet-up can only mean one thing. It’s either they’ll make it or break it. 

It took all her willpower not to hug Jimin upon seeing her again after some time. Even though they aren’t apart yet, Minjeong cannot help but to think that it is now the case. It seems like there is an invincible distance between them amidst sitting face to face. 

“Unnie…” she called out first. Jimin gazed at her for the first time. 

‘How did we end up like this?’ is all Minjeong can think of when she took notice of the older girl’s features. Long gone are the soft, understanding and caring expressions whenever she looks at her. 

‘Are all these my fault?’ is the follow-up question. 

“We will never get to make up, Minjeong-ah. If you will not attend that university. I am just thinking about you and your future. We can work out our relationship if we want.” Jimin finally uttered with all seriousness. At that Minjeong let out a chortle. They are really both hard-headed. It is their first time to have this long-stretched argument because usually Minjeong will just let the older girl take over. And she has been doing it for years, so why cannot Jimin follow her wishes this time? When this is the first time she finally took the initiative to decide on big things involving their relationship. 

“I get your point, unnie. I really do. I have been thinking about this for a while already. There is no guarantee that I’ll become what I want to begin with. I can still write even with no professional background or look for a job that I want. If there is a thing that is constant in my life, unnie and a thing that I want to remain as it is. It would be you…”

“It will always be us. You and me.” Minjeong reached for the girl’s hand and squeezed it, hoping that it would convince her. But her next words rendered her speechless. 

“There is also no guarantee that we will be together until the end, Minjeong-ah.” remorse immediately flashed on Jimin’s features after noticing the dejected expression of the girl. But she just needs to be realistic. They have been constantly fighting just for this decision, how much more when in the future. She may not admit it, but what happened between them for the past few weeks have somehow shifted something in their relationship. 

“How can you say that? Are you getting tired of me?” the helplessness in Minjeong’s voice is evident. As much as she hates to know the answer to these questions, she wants to make things clear between the two of them. 

Jimin sighs while biting her lips, the younger one notices. This is a clear indication that she is wracking her mind for a possible answer. Fear immediately crossed Minjeong’s eyes. For her, it is a no brainer question. They might fight but if you would ask her the same, her answer will always be ‘No’. She will never get tired of Jimin.  

But unfortunately, it isn’t the same for the other party.

“Yes.” Jimin simply uttered like it is the most simple answer to say. The hand that was reaching for the girl’s hand, was abruptly back on Minjeong’s side. It feels like all her energy was out of her body at the latter’s response. It was just a one word answer but it sure does hold a thousand thorns, enough to make Minjeong feel like a real burden. 

“Why don’t we just take a break for a while?” 

Now, her very fear came into life. 

“Unnie!” she frustratingly uttered while looking at the girl like she just uttered the most ridiculous phrase in the world. 

“We are just running in circles, Minjeong-ah. I can’t go on anymore. This is not the kind of relationship that I want. We are bound to break either way.”  

Maybe Jimin’s words about finally surrendering in their relationship, was her last straw. 

Maybe it was her unhappy features. 

Or maybe it was the fact that the older girl is right. Even though they will still decide to go on, the remnants of this specific predicament will remain in them for a long-time. 

Despite having the strong urge to beg for the latter to take back her words, Minjeong decided to prioritize Jimin’s happiness more than anything this time. She knows this is the least thing she can do. 

With one last heave of a defeated sigh she questioned again, “Will you be happy, unnie... with this decis— decision of y-yours?” her voice faltered at her last words as tears continuously rolled down her cheeks. This time instead of the older one wiping it, she took the initiative this time with how the latter is just staring at her. 

They stared at each other for a while in a deafening silence. There are too many words bubbling inside of them to be let out. But not even a word was uttered. 

Upon the older girl’s nod, Minjeong felt her resolve finally crumbling down that even if she continuously wiped her tears, stopping it seemed futile. Jimin too on the other side, finally broke out of her cold facade as tears also rolled down her cheeks. 

“F-fine...” 

“If you are happy with this...okay.” Jimin’s ears perked up at the immediate response. 

Minjeong didn’t even let her utter any word as she stood up, gathering her things despite clearly not having any ounce of energy left in her.  

“Maybe you’re right. If this brings you happiness then maybe it is for the best.” 

With one last glance, she slowly turned around, “Goodbye,unnie. Take care always.” Minjeong walked away with heavy footsteps, leaving Jimin...

disappointed. 

Maybe all Jimin wants is for Minjeong to stay, stand her ground and fight for her. 

Maybe all Minjeong wants is for Jimin to hold her back and tell her she isn’t happy with breaking up with her. 

When none of these happened…

They are bound to break. 

To be continued...

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A/N: Hope you've had a good read although I am not sure if I ever made you feel the emotions that I want to convey with this story. You nust probably took noticed based on my past oneshots that I am mostly into fluff hahahaha this time I have decided to put out a somewhat serious story for a change. Should I just stick to fluff? >.< 

Are you on Jimin's side or Minjeong? hahahahaha! 

Anyways, thanks for reading! and please do comment your thoughts <3 I really do appreciate them. 

Andddd I also decided to make it a two-shot. I never expected that I'll write it this long. See you in the final chapter, take care! <3