Can’t Blame Anyone
A FarewellThe day you go away feel no real for me. I feel i can't breath my heart hurt so much but i couldn't cry because i was still in my workplace. I didn't want to cause a scene so i keep the sadness in my heart. And i still search for a hope. That all the news was a lie and some haters made that. That all the thing was not real. Or it was a joke, a bad one. But reality is always different from our hope.
When i was home i couldn't hold it anymore. I cried and cried, even harder when i read your last letter. I started to blame myself n people around u. Why they can't help u, why they didn't notice soon, why they let u alone, n why we can't give u enough love... After a while, i tried to calm my heart n i know what i was thinking is not right. I can't blame anyone even u. It must be harder to people who’re close to u.
The next day i tried to accept the reality. That u have tried enough to hold on. Even though u were in a big depression u still tried to give ur best, give the best memory before u go. I'm thankful for that. I can let u go if it hard for u to stay where u are. Even in the hardest way.
Jonghyun oppa, thank u for the memory u gave to us. Thank u for always make me smile n proud with ur song. Thank u for always relieve my stress with ur voice. Thank u for the love u gave even we never give it back enough.
Lastly, i will always remember u. I want to remember ur beautiful smile, angelic voice, n all the happy memories. Maybe i will cry sometimes but i know u already happy now. So i will let u go. I will continue love ur brother. N i know they will also take care of your beloved mother n noona. Rest well oppa... <3
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