I Wish I Had Been There
A Farewell
Jonghyun,
I never knew you, but like most fans I wished that I did. I wanted to listen to music with you, pick apart lyrics and experience the joy making music gave to you firsthand. When I first became a shawol years ago, I saw SHINee and thought that you guys had all that you needed to be happy. What I thought most was that you and the other members all had each other and you had people to rely on. I wish I had known then that even in the midst of so much love, you were feeling lost and alone. I had been where you were, I had come out from the other side. I wish I had been there to take your hand and walk with you past the pain. I wish you hadn’t hid behind your bright smile and let us know how your success had hindered your mental health. I wanted SHINee to last forever and there’s a missing piece where you used to be. I tried to avoid crying, but I realize now that the only way I can let you go, the only way I can enjoy the music you gave to us, is if I grieve for you properly. You were an inspiration to me and to millions of others, you were people’s light in the darkness. I pray you are well, I pray you are happy and at peace. I don’t want to let you go, but I would do anything for you. So I’ll do this last thing and let you be free. I love you Jjongie.
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