How's Heaven?
A FarewellDear Kim Jonghyun...
How are you today?
How's heaven?
Its only been a few days but I'm already missing you. First of all thank you for staying alive for 27 years. Thank you for being born in this world as Kim Jonghyun. You're a blessed for us. A beautiful gift for us. A beautiful melody for us
Still can't believe you're gone. I still want to think its just a dream but reality hit me hard. You're no longer in this world. You know what, SHINee is my first love as fangirl. I know SHINee because the song called Amigo. After hearing those song and watching the MV, I search and listen every song. I watch the MV. I watch the show you're in. I'm being shawol after that until now. My first fandom and my first idol group that I stan. Although my main bias is Onew but I love five of you. You have your own charisma and I always know its your voice even when I just hear the song one time. I'm a shawol for 9 years from the little girl in junior high school until a girl in last semester of college
Thank you for growing up with me. Thank you for your hard work. Thank you for your music that always can light up my mood and inspired me. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I dont know you're in pain. I'm sorry because I know when its alread too late. I'm sorry for not noticing your clue. I'm sorry you must bear the pain alone. I'm sorry you must through all the pain alone. You save us but we cant save you. When I heard that you suicide because of depression, it hit me hard once again "It must be really hard for him". As someone who studys mental health I know how scary depression is. I have one friend with depression too. And after reading your last message I realize one thing "you're feeling lonely yet no one notice it :((" I'm sorry once again for not comforting you enough. To be honest with you, I'm sometimes feeling lonely too. I dont have older brother or older sister because I'm the oldest. I dont have someone to count on. I dont have someone to hang on yet I always being someone who comfort other people and be there for people. Sometimes its tiring. Being cheerful in front of people. Always be happy like you dont have problems at all when deep inside you're still struggling with your own problems. Thats why I know how hard its been for you to always smile and being cheerful when deep inside you're feeling lonely. But I want to become someone who can help other people thats why I still hang in there until today.
To the beautiful angel, Kim Jonghyun
Thank you for your memories in the past 9 years. Later when I'm feeling tired and I miss you, I'll open the box of beautiful memories you left us. You'll always remember, as you back then. As Kim Jonghyun and as Jonghyun of SHINee. As someone with beautiful voice. As someone with beautiful smile. As someone with beautiful personality. And as someone with beautiful soul. Now just rest well in heaven. Can you promise me one thing? Promise me to always watch other members from above and never let them alone. I know how much you love them as your brothers. For us SHINee is 5 and it will always be like that. 4 humans and an angel. I hope you're already happy now because your pain all gone. As long as you're happy, I'll be able to let you go slowly. I love you Kim Jonghyun. You did well Kim Jonghyun
Lastly...
For those who also fighting with their own demon, lets win your fight. You're not alone dear :))
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