1. Spit it into his voicemail, a little slurred and sounding like the shot whiskey you downed for courage. Feel as ashamed as you do walking into work in last night’s clothes. Wake up cringing for days, waiting for him to mention it.

⇔

“Please tell me he’s coming tonight, Jackson.”

Jackson exhaled softly into the microphone, “Trust me, JB, I wish. But… no, not tonight. He has stay at the hospital tonight, his grandma is getting worse. She has pneumonia.”

Jaebum sounded almost more disappointed than Jackson upon hearing that, “You have been dating Mark for two months now and I have still only seen him in pictures and SnapChats. When am I ever going to meet this guy? He must be something else, I mean, he managed to get your attention.”

“I know. I know.” Jackson groaned, “Let’s just have fun tonight alright? BamBam’s parties are always insane. Maybe I’ll get drunk enough to forget how much I wish Mark was coming.”

“Deal.” JB laughed back. “Whiskey it is!”

When JB pulled up, Jackson was on the phone waiting patiently outside the apartment.

“Alright, I’ll text you later. Yes, I’ll be safe, don’t worry about me.” He was whispering into his phone, smiling from ear to ear. “I miss you too. Hope her condition improves. Text you later, k.”

JB grinned but didn’t say anything right away, already knowing who Jackson was flirting with on the phone.

“K, see ya. Bye.” Jackson finally hung the phone up and hopped into the passenger seat of the jeep. He turned to JB, his smile cracking through his hard expression.

“Why don’t you just tell him you love him already, gosh.” JB mocked, “You guys disgust me. I’m so jealous.”

“The ‘L’ word scares me, you know that.” Jackson said, turning his attention away from JB’s stare. “I like Mark. I like how we are, right now. No pressure.”

JB began to drive off, heading for BamBam’s party.

“Alright, fair enough., you hate love. Everyone knows that. But you know you can’t let your ex ruin every relationship from here on out.” JB was beginning to sound like the best friend that he was.

“Please… don’t mention him.” Jackson rolled his eyes and looked out the window.

Him being Jinyoung. The two had a lengthy and… complicated relationship. At least that’s what every single person who knew them called it.

“He’s going to be there tonight, you know BamBam is friends with him. He’s friends with everyone.” JB warned, looking concerned.

“Seriously? Why didn’t you mention that?!” Jackson shot out, his eyes wide and angered.

“Look, we don’t have to go. I can turn around right now. We can just go to a bar or my place or something.” JB was startled at Jackson’s sudden tone. “I didn’t say anything because I thought you wouldn’t wanna come. Plus, I think it’s good for you to be able to see him and not get all… you know, about the whole thing.”

Jackson cracked his knuckles and let out an exaggerated sigh. He looked upset, but he was calming down.

“Let’s just go. I don’t if he’s there.” Jackson said coldly. “I have to face him sooner or later.”

“It’s been almost a year since you guys broke up, I’m sure you’re both way passed it and nothing will happen.” JB said, trying to be positive.

The pair of boys finally pulled up to a large brick townhouse, there were cars lined all up the street, presumably for the party. The sound of music was booming through the front door and the windows, mixed with the chatter and the loud commotion of the party goers.

“Here, let’s drink this before we go in.” JB pulled a small bottle of whiskey from his glove compartment, cracked it open and handed it to Jackson with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Um, I’m not even gonna ask.” Jackson shook his head, taking the bottle from him. He held the drink up to JB with a quick nod and then shot back two gulps, a painful grimace coming over his face as he swallowed down.

“Good ole liquid courage…” JB laughed, taking the drink from Jackson and following suit. They passed it back a few times until the bottle was completely gone, then headed into the house.

When they entered, they notice that there were about 70 people or so in the medium sized house. BamBam met them at the door, he was wearing a zebra print blazer and a gold choker on his neck. His hair was hot pink and his shoes were leather and pointed.

“Gentleman..” he said happily, giving each one of the boys a European greeting with a kiss on each cheek. “Thanks for coming.”

Jackson smiled back, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“By the way…” BamBam leaned in and lowered his voice to a whisper, “Sorry about inviting Jinyoung. I just added a bunch of people off Facebook automatically, he just happened to be in there. You know I wouldn’t trap you both here after all that happened in June.”

Jackson half smiled and nodded genuinely, “It’s okay, really. I don’t care anyway. I’m just going to have fun.”

“That’s the spirit!” JB shouted, patting the two boys on the shoulder. “Now, Bam, where’s all your booze and your female friends?”

BamBam gestured toward the dining room where a large table filled with alcohol was stationed; he took JB by the arm and led them in. A few girls were smiling in their general direction, which JB no doubt took notice of right away.

Jackson took his leather jacket off and hung it on a free chair that was next to the table. He sat down and took a deep breath, eyeing the room for any familiar faces.

It wasn’t more than two minutes before a deep, sweet voice interrupted him.

“This seat taken?”

Jackson looked up, it was Jinyoung. He was motioning towards the empty chair beside Jackson with a hopeful gaze.

Jackson froze.

It had been eight months since they last saw each other in person. Eight months of Jackson not taking his calls, blocking him on all social media, and generally avoiding him.

But there was nowhere for Jackson to run now.

“I think JB was going to join me…” Jackson mumbled, running a nervous had through his black straight hair.

Jinyoung raised his eyebrow, turned his face toward JB, who was entertaining two pretty girls on the opposite side of the room, then looked back at Jackson.

“Think he’s a little preoccupied at the moment, I’m sure he won’t mind.” Jinyoung said almost seductively.

Jackson got shivers as Jinyoung scooted the chair closer so that their knees were almost touching. Even though he hated Jinyoung for being manipulative and controlling, he couldn’t deny how much he missed the smell of his cologne and the feelings of danger and excitement that Jinyoung seemed to always bring him.

“How are you?” he asked lowly, sipping the vodka cran he had in his red solo cup.

Jackson wanted to punch him in the face right then and there.

How was I? he thought with a furrowed brow.

Jackson recalled the day he caught Jinyoung snooping through his cell-phone while he was in the shower; he had memorized the passwords to Jackson’s social media accounts as well, and would regularly scour the message threads for any signs of infidelity.

He reminded himself then as well, of the time Jinyoung thought that he was flirting with the waiter, and abandoned him on one of their dinner dates, leaving Jackson with the bill and forcing him to take public transit all the way home.

“I’m fine.” Jackson said back, coldly.

“You look good.” Jinyoung lulled, smiling devilishly at Jackson who was doing his best to look away.

Jackson knew that in coming to the party, he risked running into his ex, but he didn’t expect it to happen this quickly, especially since he hadn’t even had a drink yet.

“Look, I’m too sober to do this right now.” Jackson finally said, breaking the tension. He stood up and walked to the table for a drink. Jinyoung followed slowly behind.

Jackson was busy filling a cup with ice when Jinyoung leaned against the edge of the table next to him.

“Are you single, still?” he pressed, looking Jackson in the eyes wondersome.

Jackson gritted his teeth and poured himself a stiff shot of whiskey.

“Oh c’mon, you can tell me if you’re seeing anyone.” Jinyoung laughed lightly at Jackson’s apparent anger.

Jackson shot the glass back without a flinch and wiped his mouth.

“It’s none of your business, Junior.” He spit out and walked away, knowing full well Jinyoung hated that nickname.

Jackson met up again with JB who was now showing the two women s