Damn.

I felt like throwing the gun onto the ground when it got stuck, for the fourteenth time. The most colorful curses left my mouth as I threw myself on the ground, trying to find what was causing my pipe gun to fail.

It has been like this for the past few hours. Trying to get better at shooting was something I didn’t think would be hard, since I had seen dudes like Magowan shoot so easily it felt like just doing something menial.

They wanted to get more people involved in the security of the settlement, and I was excited to try. It is no secret that since I was a child, I have preferred going out, exploring the ruins of my so called home, instead of staying and harvesting the food, like mother did.

I’m eighteen, though, and that gets people’s in a bunch. Mr Donovan laughed at me when I told him I wanted to join the security. “It is not child’s play,” he said. However, I was insistent enough that he gave me this pipe gun and told me to practice my aim. I should’ve known better.

It wasn’t entirely useless, though. If I found some industrial tape and a little of steel I would be able to make some changes to it.

I stood up and looked for my mom. Sure enough, she was at her bed, tending to a little burn she got on her toe yesterday.

“What is it, Momo?”

“Can I go to the Salvage?”

“What for?”

“Oh, just a little something to fix my gun. It is kind of faulty.” I showed her the pipe pistol. She barely looked at it, though.

“Momo, you know better than to be tinkering around with such artifacts.”

“I know, but, Mom,” I whined, “Mister Donovan gave me a faulty gun on purpose so I wouldn’t try to be in the settlement’s security team.”

“No matter what Mister Donovan did, you know you can’t show your modified toy to anyone.”

“It’s not a toy! It’s a pistol, and if I don’t fix it I won’t be able to try to get in the team, mom.”

“Momo,” she said in that tone that meant the discussion was over, “I don’t want you trying to fix that piece of junk. If Mister Donovan doesn’t let you be in the team, it’s his choice because he is in charge. Are we clear?”

I sighed. “Yes, mother.”

“Good, now go and be useful. Help the harvesting team in my stead. I can barely feel my leg as is.” I nodded numbly, walking away from where I had found her.

Frustration ran through my mind. I just wished mom would let me use the knowledge she herself had taught me. What was the point in teaching me stuff if I wouldn’t even be able to use it to my advantage? I wonder if father would’ve let me try it. But then again, if father was alive, I might’ve not even lived here.

I reported to the leader of the harvesting team, informing him of my mother’s predicament. He seemed to know, since he gestured at me to start working.

“Hey, here comes the little molerat!”

Have I mentioned how much I hate food-related jobs?

I made a small sign of acknowledgement to their taunt, and began to tear the weeds from the plantations.

“Hey, we’re talking to you, molerat!” said another dude.

“I already said hi,” I tried to answer in my most disinterested voice.

“You know you should be more respectful to your elders. So where is the greeting?” I stood straight and waving my hand slightly, I answered with a dry “hi”.

The guy that always started this , JB, slid his hand through my waist, getting me closer to him. I made a face.

“You know what the problem is? You try to appear all badass with your stupid expressions when all we want from you is a nice, little greeting. Hi, JB. It’s not that hard, is it?”

“You know what your problem is?” I said, pushing his arm away. Some snickered in the distance, knowing as well as I did that this would be the start of a fight. It always was. “If you kept your ty breath out of my face, I would be more inclined to be polite.”

“What the did you say, little ?”

“Why don’t you clean your ear first, ?”

“Why you…”

“Hey, hey, hey!” The yell separated us two from nearly spilling each other’s guts on the ground. “Momo, I let you be here to help because your mother insisted, so stop fooling around and get to work! And you,” Mr. Tuan pointed at JB, “stop acting like a child trying to get his crush’s attention and get to your position!”

“T-that’s not it!”

I wanted to laugh at JB’s reddened face, but decided that this was the only bickering Mr. Tuan would tolerate out of us. And so, I started working.

It was the afternoon when I finally managed to slip away without other people noticing much. I reached my room, where the chest I had put some of my belongings, including the pipe pistol, rested, at my bed’s right side. Slightly pressing the faulty lock, I opened the chest, grabbing the gun from below the folded clothes. I took my backpack, where I put my gun, and slung it across my shoulder.

I walked outside to the door where Magowan was doing the 6^th shift of the day. He just bowed his head at me, a signal to our unspoken agreement.

The Salvage was a little up north, and a small run there would get me there. However, even if it wasn’t that far, I had to be careful, especially when we had heard so much about new attacks from raiders, not just to other settlements, but to junkyards like the Salvage as well, perhaps looking for something useful, just like me. It was the Minutemen who usually killed them. I felt bile rise to my throat at the thought.

A mile from the settlement, I crouched, tuning my ears to any abnormal sound that may have existed. I gave slow strikes, looking into the distance, where the big building was. As I approached and the building entered more into my line of vision, I noticed the light flashes that came in the same direction.

I knew mother would kick my for it if she knew, but I needed to know if something was happening. It may be foolish, but there was something else in that Salvage that I needed to get my hands on.

I got on my fours and started moving faster, recognizing the flashes of light, now that I saw them up close, as plasma guns. Rifles to be exact. Was there a fight going on? If there was, how powerful were each side? I had only seen and known plasma guns from the books mother had made me read. They, as of now, were hard to get, as most were destroyed when the Institute was blown away. Was there any possibility that one side of the conflict was made of Synths? I felt my heart fluttering at the thought.

I stopped entirely when I heard a distinctive sound. Before I could understand it, my feet were taking me to it, running despite the explosion that would happen in seconds. My feet slipped, grabbed by the force of the car exploding up next, feeling pieces of debris hitting my body. My ears roared and I screamed in pain. I laid there, not feeling strong enough to walk, even less run. Then I saw them.

I never felt such heaviness in my heart as when I saw them, their blue uniforms and brown coats. I felt compelled to run away, to return, but I just plopped down again.

They came out of the Salvage, though not smiling, victorious expressions filling their faces. They were coming my way. Had they seen me? Would they kill me now? I wanted to get up and leave, but the roaring in my ears still overwhelmed most of my body, and I could only sit there, waiting for my demise.

It seemed that they finally noticed me, but didn’t raise their guns as expected. In fact, they just seemed to walk faster.

A man with a fedora hat came through the small throng of people, and, when he was close to me, he mouthed, “Are you okay?”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

He mouthed something else, but I couldn’t understand it. I moved my hands slightly, trying to signal that they could leave me here. He turned around and called a girl that surfaced from the multitude. She shyly made her way towards me. However, I moved more frantically, trying to tell them that I was fine.

I finally opened my mouth, not caring anymore if I vomited.

“I… am… fine.” Holy , my voice was slurry as hell. The brunette tried to grab my arms, but I slapped her hands away with all the strength I had. She frowned.

“I… ammm… fineeeee.” I said in the strongest voice I could muster. “You… should… leaveee.”

The man in a fedora said something that I could only interpret as a rebuttal. He was frowning as well. I said nothing, hoping my silence would serve as a negative to the stubborn man. He looked into my eyes, as if searching for something, and, after a few moments, he nodded in understanding. He signaled to his crew, and they started walking, including the brunette that was in front of me, who hesitated at first, looking at me several times, but finally relented, walking with the rest.

I turned to look at them leaving at the same time the girl took a glance at me. She ducked her head, as if feeling sad or ashamed.

Feeling repulsion running through my veins, I grabbed all the strength the mine had left in me and slid towards the place I needed to get to. Slowly, but surely, the entrance came into my vision, and something else that I more or less expected.

I supported my back on a truck that had, fortunately, not exploded along with the other car. I closed my eyes for a bit, hoping that somehow I would regain some of the hearing I lost with the explosion. Bringing my hand to my forehead, I wiped what I thought was sweat. Imagine my surprise when, opening my eyes again, I saw a reddish hue painting the back of my hand.

Why had I run? Why had I put my life at risk like that?

I looked at my surroundings. Synths or their leftover parts were lying around across the Salvage, destroyed by the people that had just left. Not far away from me, I could see a small fuse that had flown from the head of one of the Synths to the now black floor. I took it with between my index finger and my thumb, observing the details I could see better with each passing second.

I grimaced a bit, feeling my head clearing up from the mental fog it had been covered with, pain coming along with it. Now I could feel the blow the exploding car had done to my head. My skin still buzzed when I tried crawling towards the place I kept my most prized possession. This took more time than necessary, though, thanks to the small debris that cut into my skin with each stride of my hands and feet.

I gave a sigh of relief when I found the safe I kept behind a counter untouched. Neither of the two parties had deemed important to break through the lock into what was in the safe. I entered the password, and smiled (or grimaced) a bit when the opening sound echoed in the warehouse. I grabbed, first of all, my leather notebook, caressing the cover slightly. What would I have done without it, I don’t know. Skimming through the pages, I read some of the data I had collected throughout the years, thanks to the extensive research I had made of the books my mother had brought with us.

After putting it in my bag, I grabbed the small stimpak, and, with the biggest precision I could have at the moment, I injected it into my bloodstream. I closed my eyes again, feeling my muscles relax under the medicine coursing through my blood. My vision cleared up a bit and I felt strength coming to me again. It was just these damn ears that refused to cooperate. Damn the explosion. Damn them.

I opened my eyes hurriedly, remembering what had just transpired. Since the explosion was too close to the settlement, then mother… !

I got up, ignoring my body screaming in pain. Since ignoring seemed to be tonight’s theme, I ignored all common sense and kept walking as fast as I could, without any stealth, towards my settlement. Who would hurt me at this point anyway? The detonation most probably scared away any raider or gunner that could’ve been close to the place.

My mind was entirely blank, to the point where I could barely notice Magowan, who looked at me with surprise, as I entered the settlement. I felt everyone’s gazes on me, but I couldn’t care about it as much as I cared about getting to the infirmary.

I flinched when I finally heard mom’s sobs filling the silence. They still sounded muffled to my ears, so I could only imagine how loud they were. I pushed the door open and stepped quickly into my mother’s bed. She was facing the ceiling, her eyes closed, and her legs bent in an unnatural way, her hands the blanket.

Grabbing her shoulders with tact, I said gently, “Mom, it’s okay. It’s me, Momo.” I hugged her, not letting her open her eyes and see the mess that I was at the moment, physically and mentally.

“It’s okay. We’re okay. Nothing is going to happen to us.” I patted her back, scanning for whoever was in the room. I knew after the attacks, mom would feel very humiliated, so I wanted to know how much of the truth I could give to her when she was better. I could just see a small amount of people from where I was standing, but it seemed that there were several people in the room.

It was a weird sight, since most people have become used to my mother’s outcries whenever a detonation, whether big or small, happened, which could be kind of often, given that in this area, not too far from here, raiders had made their quarters. I didn’t want to think too much in the moment, though, so I just closed my eyes and continued hugging her, patting her back and murmuring comforting words. Eventually her cries died down, being replaced instead with soft breathing. Keeping her in my arms for a moment, I tried to slow down my beating heart that hadn’t stopped pounding since the explosion. I laid her down the bed slowly, hoping she would not wake up. When I finally stood up, my eyes widened in surprise.

It was that damn fedora hat.

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Hi, BigDinosaur here! I hope you like this chapter! If you feel confused about some terms, please tell me, and I'll try to explain them in the next chapters. Comments would be appreciated as well. Thanks for reading! :D