January always starts off with the incoming Valentine’s Day rush.  All the local businesses want to have a sale or a special or even just cute banners to hang in their windows to promote the holiday.  Jongin’s always nurtured a fond spot in her heart for the romantic day, going heavy on the pinks and reds and purples in her designs to stay in the spirit.  She gets to create images of love and romance and even when she was single, Valentine’s Day still made her happy.

There are, however, some orders that do take precedence and stand above all others.  Like the one she’s currently working on.

“This is quite possibly the oddest thing I’ve ever done,” Jongin remarks as she gives her sheet of concept drawings a good once over.  She chews the side of her cheek, head tilted as she twirls a lock of her fallen hair.  Yixing comes up behind Jongin, letting out a soft cooing noise at the drawings.

One of their customers is an adult toy store called Sultry Solutions.  They’re doing a special for Valentine’s Day which is why Jongin has been drawing costumed es for the last few hours.  She’s drawn faces on the es to go along with their outfits.

“Look at the witch,” Yixing says in delight.  “There’s sparkles coming out the tip!”

Chanyeol drops the file he’d been looking over by the front counter to take a peek.  He doesn’t seem as endeared as Yixing; in fact, he looks rather worried.  “Are these actual costumes they’re advertising or . . . “

“Why?” Yixing asks, eyebrows arched and her stare now fixated on the front of Chanyeol’s jeans.  “Does your require a tiny fireman’s helmet?”

Chanyeol makes a wounded noise, choosing to scurry off before Yixing takes anymore cracks at his .

It's the amusing, more light-hearted ideas that give Jongin life.  The owner of the shop had given her the pictures of some of the costumes she wanted the es to wear.  There's the witch and the fireman, along with a cat, a generic princess complete with tiara, and a superhero in a blue suit and red cape.  All in all, it's quite the adorable bunch of es and she's very proud of them.  It might even be worth signing up to be on their emailing list so she gets to see the final designs at work.

"So," Yixing begins, and Jongin decidedly doesn't like the tone of her voice, "whose did you base these on?"

Jongin elbows Yixing away, a blush threatening to overtake her face as she stares down at her sheet.  They're average es.  She didn't base them on anyone.

The sleeves of Jongin's sweater slide down over her hands when she stands, stretching out her back because sitting for prolonged periods of time aren't a good idea anymore.  She tries to keep moving as her baby grows bigger.  He's a lot more active during the day now, especially after she eats.  Which is often.  She can't eat as much as she used to at once, so she snacks a lot and everyone around her seems to glean enjoyment from feeding her.

It also leads to Jongin religiously applying lotion over the stretched skin of her belly - or rather, Luhan sitting on Jongin's thighs, her hands soothing and soft as she carefully rubs the lotion on while they talk about their days.

Ever since Christmas, Luhan hasn't really left Jongin's apartment; more of her stuff ends up mixed in with Jongin's until it's natural to grab Luhan's brush in the morning because Jongin prefers it, and Jongin finds herself squishing all her clothes to one side of the closet while she goes through Luhan's to pilfer another sweater.  It should worry Jongin that Luhan isn't leaving, but Jongin is comforted by it and says nothing.

Luhan is there, helping Jongin adapt to having someone at her side as well as to the changes in her life that she has to make, accommodating for her size and new habits.  Luhan also doesn't make Jongin feel guilty for imposing when Luhan decides she's going to accompany Jongin to her doctor's visits - holding her hand and keeping Jongin occupied with small talk when the nurses have to draw more blood.

Even if she has to rush off after Jongin's appointment, giving Jongin a steely glare when she demands that she eat something before doing anything else, Luhan makes time for her.  She's patient with her; Jongin's emotions sometimes pile up unexpectedly and she starts crying without knowing why, frustrated and angry until Luhan's wiping at her tears and steering her toward the couch to rest.

Pregnancy is exhausting.

One thing that Jongin's always loved is her birthday.  It isn't because of gifts or sweets or anything so mundane, but because it's only separated by a day from Kyungsoo's birthday and they celebrate together.  It's a tradition.  Over the years, they've celebrated in different ways - vacations away from their lives, drinking at the local wine bar until they have to pile in a cab to get home, sitting on park swings as they share a small ice cream cake bought at the grocery store.

This year, the two of them are surrounded by friends, decorations and more food than even Jongin could put away over the course of the night.  Luhan had slipped a glittery pink party hat on Jongin earlier and Kyungsoo is wearing a matching yellow one.  They’re all crowded on Chanyeol’s two couches - Jongin, Luhan, Yixing and Minseok on one, and Chanyeol, Tao, and Kyungsoo on the other.  The coffee table between the couches is home to a three-tiered cake courtesy of Kyungsoo, and a small pile of gifts.

“We all agreed not to get you anything baby related for your birthday,” Tao announces, probably to take the attention from where he’s run his finger through the icing on the cake.

Jongin freezes for a moment, staring blankly.  Aside from the duck onesie she’s bought, she hasn’t really given any thought to everything she’s going to need for a baby.  She has nothing.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo affirms, smacking the back of Tao’s hand when he goes for the icing again.  “That’s what the baby shower will be for.”

"Baby shower?" Jongin repeats, still thinking mostly about how she is so not prepared for any of this.  She's over six months along now, which leaves less than three to get everything she needs for raising a tiny human.  It's intimidating and mildly panic inducing.

"We'll get to that later," Yixing says.  "But right now, this is all about you."  Yixing leans her head on Jongin's shoulder.  "Oh, and Kyungsoo too."

Kyungsoo waves her off in favor of using a wet wipe to clean Tao's finger, more concerned with keeping Tao from potentially getting purple icing on Chanyeol's couch.

Jongin fights to keep from tearing up.  Her friends are better at taking care of her than she is at taking care of herself and she wouldn't trade it for anything.  She feels like such a heel for keeping her pregnancy from them for so long, but she had to have a handle on it herself before coming out.

With the unconditional support all around her, Jongin relaxes in time to see Chanyeol shoving a silver wrapped package onto Kyungsoo's lap.  He had to lean over Tao to do it and now Tao has stars in his eyes, frozen in his spot because Chanyeol is still resting against him to watch Kyungsoo carefully unwrapping his gift.

Kyungsoo is the type who goes for minimum damage to the paper, wanting to save it to reuse for later and it's a maddening habit that makes most people lose patience with him quickly.  Jongin just watches, laughing when Chanyeol, in his excitement, slides halfway into Tao's lap to rip the paper as Kyungsoo lets out an anguished noise.

Beside her, Luhan is trying to muffle her laughter in Jongin's neck, pulling her closer.  Jongin rests her hand on Luhan's thigh, tapping her fingers softly as she watches her friends.  Even Minseok is starting to open up more, asking Tao why it doesn't look like he's breathing as Chanyeol uses him as a perch.  The man is truly clueless.

It's a wonderful night, full of bright smiles and precious memories that Jongin tucks away to keep with her forever.  With the cake gone - strawberry because Jongin's been craving it - and the presents all opened, Jongin is up on her feet with everyone else.  There's music on and Luhan is prancing Jongin around in a dance that doesn't match the beat.  It's a little difficult because of her belly, but Luhan works around it.

Jongin laughs when Luhan dips her, head tipped back and all the worries on her shoulders forgotten.  Luhan is grinning at her, teasing Jongin with spinning her out even as Jongin protests, her arms locked around Luhan to stay put.  Luhan uses the hold to her advantage, humming as she draws Jongin in for a kiss.

"I have a present for you back home," Luhan whispers.

A shiver runs down Jongin's spine and her fingers dig into Luhan's back.  "You already got me something," she reminds Luhan, nodding toward the coffee table where she has a few fresh sketchbooks tied up in ribbons that Luhan had declared to be non-work use only.

Luhan clucks her tongue.  "I had to get you something to give in front of the others.  My other gift isn't public friendly."

Jongin lets out a soft groan, letting Luhan kiss her again.  They'd had that one night over New Years when Luhan had taken care of her, but that boundary hasn't been crossed since.  Jongin is so ready to jump forward, to have Luhan spread beneath her as she returns the favor.  She whines as Luhan's tongue swipes over hers, fingers running up to curl in Luhan's hair.

Someone off to the side lets out a low whistle.

"The only action allowed in this house is action that involves me," Chanyeol announces.

Jongin pulls away, a little embarrassed, but Luhan is just as shameless as always.  She threads her fingers in Jongin's, a promising look on her face as she bites her lip.  "We have another party to get to," Luhan tells everyone and Jongin's eyes grow wide.

She's too tongue-tied to say anything, letting Luhan wrap her up in her coat and scarf before pushing her out the door.  Jongin's gifts are left behind, along with the leftover cake she was going to bring home, but Luhan is insistent.  And if Jongin's honest with herself, she's reeling from anticipation too.

Home means Jongin's tiny apartment and that fills Jongin's chest with a heavy warmth that feels right.  She's still a bit dazed, tugging off her coat and scarf as Luhan chirps for her to wait in the bedroom and she'll be right out.

Jongin pulls at the hem of her sweater before sitting on the edge of her bed, her bare feet tapping on the floor.  She's nervous and excited and impatient, fingers gripping her comforter as she chews her lip.

Luhan looks good in everything; she could put on a burlap sack and it would make the sack look better.  But sometimes she looks untouchable, her natural beauty outshining everything else.  This is one of those times.

It’s still mostly dark in the bedroom; when Luhan opens the bathroom door, the light spills out behind her.  There’s a coy smile on her pink lips and her hair is draped over one shoulder.  Jongin swallows, her eyes drinking in the vision of Luhan before her.

Jongin’s going to assume that Luhan’s gift is the sheer lacy lingerie that’s molded to her curves, purple designs that span across her chest and down her stomach to showcase a pair of matching .  They’re just as see-through and Jongin whimpers.  It gets worse when her gaze falls further to see the expanse of Luhan’s flawless thighs only interrupted by the smooth line of the purple thigh highs she’s wearing.

“I got you one just like this,” Luhan purrs, walking slowly to where Jongin is still clutching the mattress.  “For later.”

Luhan stands in front of Jongin and Jongin stares up at her in awe.  She leans forward, arms circling Luhan’s waist to pull her in.  “Does this mean I can unwrap you?” Jongin asks, pushing her nose to Luhan’s stomach to leave a kiss on the fabric.

Luhan’s breath hitches and her fingers curl in Jongin’s hair.  “Please.”

Baby stores are terrifying.  The one she'd been in that catered to maternity clothing with only a small selection of newborn sized clothes has nothing on this place.  She can't believe she let Tao wrangle her here, letting him coax her into thoughts of a peaceful afternoon when he innocently suggested taking her out shopping.  There's an electronic reader in her hand after Tao registered her for a baby shower and she's supposed to scan everything she wants so her friends know what to get for her.  But what does she want?  What does she need?

Jongin chews at her thumb nail, staring helplessly at the offering of baby furniture spread before her.  What kind of mother is she going to be?  Does she need a crib and a bassinet?  And if she goes for the bassinet, will she want one where the side pulls away to rest on the bed?  She supposes it depends on if she's going to be or bottle feeding - options she hasn't even thought about yet.

She stares down at her s and how full they are now.  She'd had an average c cup before she got pregnant, but now they're spilling out of the d cup bras she'd picked up only a couple weeks ago.

Jongin sighs, head tilting as she figures there's no harm in picking out both a bassinet and a crib because the kid is bound to outgrow the bassinet and then she'll need a crib anyway.  There are so many to choose from and Jongin is intimidated.  Tao keeps going on about functionality being important, but that's no reason to skimp on aesthetics.  He turns his nose up at a lot of the designs and Jongin follows his judgement if for no other reason than because he sounds like he knows what he's talking about.

Tao stops her flat when she wanders toward the baby clothing.  "I don't think so," he says, a hand on Jongin's arm.  He has this permanent look of disgust on his face as his eyes rake over the selection.  Jongin folllows his gaze, but doesn't see anything wrong with it.

"Why?"

"Your baby will wear polyester over my dead, chopped up into little pieces and cremated body because I will come back from the grave to fix that travesty.”

"I don't think they use polyester for newborn clothes?" Jongin tries to reason, more than a little amused.

"It doesn't matter anyway.  I'll be designing and making all the clothes our boy will ever need."

Jongin does a double take.  "Our boy?"

"What?  I have tons of experience with babies.  I'll be the cool uncle while Kyungsoo is the stick in the mud.  It's perfect.  And I'll take care of all his fashion needs."

Tao walks off to the nearest rack of newborn sized outfits, picking one from the rack.  It's adorable.  Jongin smiles and scurries over to see the soft green onesie with little teddy bears all over it.  There are even bear ears on the feet.

"This is what I'm talking about," Tao declares.  He slips two fingers into the small bear head shaped pocket.  "What baby needs pockets?"  He points at another outfit.  "And velcro should be banned on clothing, period.  I can't in good conscience allow this."

Jongin sighs, a hand on her hip as she stares at her friend.  "Tao, you are an amazing designer, but I don't think baby clothes are your forte."

Tao scoffs.  "They're just little people.  I'll just have to take out some of the detail -"

"My son is too young for pastel grunge," she comments dryly, knowing exactly where Tao is going with all this.

"No one is too young for pastel grunge."

"He's not born yet!"

"I'll start him off easy," Tao explains, tossing an arm over Jongin's shoulder to not so subtly lead her away from the baby clothing section.  "One does not simply dive into pastel grunge.  I think some patterns might be a better way to begin.  How do you feel about leopard print?"

Jongin loves Tao - she really does.  But sometimes she could strangle him.  With love.

"You're okay with this, right?"

Jongin peers over at Luhan who is sitting cross-legged on the floor, blond hair pulled into a high ponytail as she stretches her arms over her head.  She'd been exercising in the minimal floor space between Jongin's couch and television, the coffee table still pushed away since they rearranged over Christmas.

Jongin hums softly.  "With what?"

"Me."  Luhan lifts onto her knees and scoots over to Jongin, propping her head on the couch cushion.  Her face is close to Jongin's now since Jongin had been thinking about napping, but only managed to lay down and stay awake to watch how pretty Luhan looked in her yoga pants.  "You promised me you'd tell me if I ever moved too fast with us," she begins.  There's sweat beading along her forehead and Jongin reaches out to wipe it away absentmindedly.  "I've practically moved in with you and you haven't said anything about it."

"That's because I want you here," Jongin answers.  "If I didn't, I would have said so."

"I've been thinking about that," Luhan says, stealing Jongin's hand and slotting their fingers together.  "And since me unofficially moving in was alright with you, what would you say about officially moving in with me."

Jongin's forehead wrinkles, eyebrows drawn together in confusion.  "Why?"

"Because your place is nice and if it was just the two of us, it would do just fine.  But where are we going to put a crib?  Your bed takes up most of the bedroom and I'm always worried that you're going to trip and fall over that chair you use as a dresser."

Jongin pouts.  "It hurts my back to fold laundry," she grumbles as a pathetic excuse.  "And you hog all the closet space."

"I have a walk-in closet," Luhan reminds her.  "And an extra room with Sehun's name waiting to go on it."

Jongin's eyes widen.  Luhan had said the name.  She’d said his name and it sounds wonderful.  It's so overwhelming that she cries.

Luhan squirms her way onto the couch, careful of Jongin's belly and tucks her head under Jongin's chin, a soothing hand running up and down her back.  She's so very not in control of her emotions and Jongin cries more because Luhan is sweet and nice and perfect, especially when she needs her the most.

Jongin calms herself down, eyes aching and puffy.  She sniffles, nudging her nose at the top of Luhan's head.  "Moving in sounds nice," she mumbles.

Luhan shifts to peer up at her, beaming that thousand watt smile that has Jongin's heart stuttering in her chest.  She doesn't say anything.  Luhan just kisses her over and over, all over her lips and her face before half-falling off the couch so she can lift Jongin's - originally Luhan's - sweater and leave a kiss there too.

Jongin wiggles, self conscious because her belly button is starting to pop out, but Luhan doesn't mind.  She stays down there, tapping on Jongin's baby bump and talking about how much Sehun is going to love it in her apartment because he'll have all the space he needs and his mother will be safe from knocking her little toes into chairs on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Jongin only gripes about her lost center of gravity hampering her nightly navigational skills a little bit.

Along with her baby - Sehun, she muses happily - growing, also comes the awkward positions Jongin finds herself in just to get comfortable.  No one ever said anything about little feet trying to wedge underneath her ribs or the random kick to her bladder that has her clenching so she doesn't end up peeing on herself.  It's embarrassing.

But there are also the moments where he's so active, not even Jongin's sweaters can hide the movement.  Yixing scrambles over when it happens at work, both her hands on Jongin's belly as he full body rolls from one side of her uterus to the other.  The first time it happened, Jongin had freaked out; it's not a sight she was prepared for.  Her entire belly had shifted, distorted and wiggling until he stilled.  Now she just stops moving when it starts, hoping none of her vital organs take a hit on the way.

It's an adventure and Jongin's learning the rules step by step.

Everything is topsy-turvy, even her body clock which doesn't help when she still has a work schedule to follow regardless of how much Sehun wants to play overnight or how many times she has to get up to pee, stubbing her toe more often than she wants to admit to Luhan.

On top of it all, Jongin's still trying to be of some use.  Her lease isn't up for another two months, but she's already started trying to organize all her stuff to make it easier to pack.  Luhan, however, keeps stepping in to take over, leaving Jongin feeling useless even if she knows that's not what Luhan intends.

It's difficult building a relationship when Jongin isn't herself.  Rationally, she knows that she's getting upset or emotional for no reason, but that doesn't stop her from doing it.  It's not all sunshine and rainbows when she gets snappy out of nowhere, surprising both herself and Luhan.

Jongin finds herself locked in her bathroom a lot, sitting on the toilet lid with her face buried in her hands as she attempts to calm herself down.  She's terrified that she's going to chase Luhan away because of it.  They both knew - she made sure Luhan knew - that she wasn't going to be herself sometimes; but is that enough?  How is she supposed to keep a hold on Luhan when she can't even keep a grip on herself?

"I've known you for years, Jongin," Luhan begins softly, her arms curling around Jongin from behind.  She rests her chin on Jongin's shoulder after leaving a kiss.  "It's going to take more than a hormone induced tantrum to chase me away."

The reassurance is appreciated, but that doesn't make Jongin feel any better about it.  She's always been so hesitant around Luhan and sometimes she has to remind herself that she's allowed to touch and to push her way into Luhan's personal space.  Jongin was a cuddler before she was pregnant, but she's ten times worse now.  She thinks Luhan enjoys it, unless it's Kyungsoo Jongin is tangled up on the couch with and then Luhan just pouts.

Luhan also starts taking showers with Jongin in the evenings.  Jongin had been complaining that she couldn't see anything below her belly and lifting her legs to shave was uncomfortable, so now Luhan does it for her.  It was embarrassing the first time, but now Jongin soaks up the attention, luxuriating under the warm water as Luhan's fingers slide over her skin.  She's never been pampered so much.

It also helps her to relax when she can crawl right into bed, lethargic and clingy.  She gets to pull Luhan in with her.  These moments become the ones Jongin looks forward to the most.  After long days of being on her feet and dealing with a gymnast growing inside her, being able to languish in the comforts of bed with Luhan is an absolute joy.

Sometimes Jongin musters the energy to have Luhan gasping, out her name with her spine arched off the bed and her body quivering around Jongin's mouth, her fingers.  Other times, Jongin is simply too exhausted, but it doesn't stop Luhan from sliding her hand down and slowly working Jongin to the top, holding her close as she crashes back down.

Jongin doesn't always tell Luhan she loves her, but she enjoys showing it with aggressive snuggling and kiss attacks.

Just when Jongin thinks she's getting a handle on things, something always happens to remind her that she's still unprepared.  She thinks she might be in shock.  She's sitting on the floor in the backroom at work, tucked against the furthest wall.  Her eyes are fixated downward, staring at where her hands are cupped over her s.

"Jongin!" Chanyeol calls from outside the room.  He sounds worried, but she can't find her voice to answer.  He yells again, this time popping his head through the doorway to see where she's hiding.  "Oh thank goodness, are you alright?"

Jongin blinks up at Chanyeol, a distressed look on her face.  "My s are leaking," she cries.  She pulls her hands away to showcase the two large circles that have darkened her shirt around her s.

Chanyeol freezes with his mouth open, like a deer in headlights before he bolts from the room.  "Yixing!" he hollers.  "Jongin needs a woman!"

Yixing huddles down on the floor with Jongin the moment she sees her, arms secure and protective around Jongin's shoulders.  She lets Jongin calm down, sniffling as she stops crying.  It's embarrassing that the shock of suddenly wetting through her shirt sent her into a spiral of emotions that made her cry.  But really, she hadn't been prepared for that.

Yixing carefully helps Jongin off the floor; Jongin is immensely grateful because she doesn't think she could have done it herself.  Her belly is so big now that moving around can be difficult.  She wonders how large she's going to get before it's over.  She's made it almost to eight months now, but Baekhyun told her a baby grows the most in the last month.

Yixing gets Jongin into a new shirt and Jongin awkwardly shoves tissue into her bra after drying the outside as best she can.  The shirt's too tight, but it beats walking around with giant wet circles on her chest.  Chanyeol offers to take her home, but Jongin's working on sketches that need to be in by tomorrow, so she waves him off.

She can totally deal with leaking s for a day.

They have the baby shower at Luhan’s apartment.  Well, half of Jongin’s stuff is already there, stacked in boxes inside the room that’s going to be for Sehun.  Luhan’s been grabbing a few boxes every time she leaves Jongin’s place so there won’t be so much to move when it comes down to it.  It really is a lot more spacious here; there’s carpet and large bay windows with a view and plenty of room for Jongin to walk without running into something which happens a lot more frequently now.

It’s also more space for Yixing to decorate; it makes Yixing undeniably happy.  There are curled pastel purple, blue, yellow and green ribbons that hang from the ceiling that are just low enough to get in Chanyeol’s face when he walks past.  He blows them out of his way to keep going as Tao watches on, endeared.  Jongin finds it all very amusing.

What she’s not so amused about is being sequestered to a chair even if said chair is cushiony and soft and very appealing for naps.  Luhan knows that Jongin’s hips have been aching and she gets tired easily, so she’s been very persuasive at getting Jongin comfortable and stationary.

There’s so much stuff that fills the living room that it wouldn’t have all fit in her old place.  It’s all wrapped up in shiny packaging with lots of bows - except the stuff from Chanyeol; that’s all stuffed in gift bags with tissue paper wadded on top.  Yixing had given him a look when he’d shown up that he shrugged off.  Jongin’s already gotten bleary-eyed at the stack of gifts once, rubbing her belly and assuring little Sehun that he’s going to be well taken care of.

Sehun enjoys the cake more than Jongin.  Kyungsoo had made a wonderful butter pecan cake with buttercream icing and Jongin had eaten two slices.  Now Sehun is somersaulting and Kyungsoo is sitting on the edge of the chair, his hand on her belly to feel.  He can’t stop smiling and neither can Jongin even when it feels like Sehun might have bruised something vital. 

And of course, Yixing is there to capture the entire gift unwrapping on camera because nothing says entertainment more than Jongin crying her way through it all and pulling all her friends, one-by-one, into a bear hug they have to struggle out of.  Except for Luhan.  She’s more than happy to stay in Jongin’s arms, placing a large blue bow on the top of Jongin’s head and telling her that she’s the best present of all.

Jongin finds her too cheesy to cry over and she settles for swatting the back of her hand on Luhan’s thigh half-heartedly.

It isn’t until later, when Jongin is picking the stickers off a set of adorably fuzzy green and brown blankets, that she realizes not one person got baby clothes.  She blames Tao entirely, although she can’t be too upset because he’d designed and made a diaper bag that looks like an alpaca, complete with fuzzy tail.  He’d promised her that there was more to come, but she hadn’t really paid much attention because she was too enamored with the bag.

Between them all, Jongin now has her crib with a matching bassinet, along with a dresser to go in Sehun’s room.  There’s also stuffed toys and rattles and diapers and blankets and Jongin could cry again just staring at it all if she wasn’t totally cried out already.  She’ll be so glad when her hormones stabilize again.  If she never cries again in her life, she’ll still be over quota.

The reality of what is about to happen hits Jongin when Baekhyun drops the bomb that she has maybe two weeks left before she’s due to go into labor.  Two weeks.  Jongin’s been doing this whole pregnancy thing for a while and she’s getting used to the aches and pains, to waddling when she walks and bracing a hand beneath her belly to hold some of the weight.  She’s even stopped panicking when her entire uterus tightens and she has to breathe shallowly until it passes.  Braxton Hicks, Baekhyun had said.  Fake contractions to prepare her body for the real thing.

Baekhyun had also told her that she was already two centimeters dilated, which sent Jongin into a flurry until Baekhyun assured her that it was quite normal and would have no effect on her daily life.  Jongin left the appointment dazed, a handy checklist Baekhyun had given her now in Luhan’s hand along with Baekhyun’s phone number for when she does go into labor.  They’d set up her 40th week appointment before leaving, but Baekhyun said she probably wouldn’t make it until then.

Jongin is a nervous mess.

A good ninety percent of all her stuff is already moved into Luhan’s apartment; Tao and Chanyeol are grabbing the rest of it this weekend with a borrowed truck.  Luhan is paying them in beer and pizza.  The crib has been put together - in a monumental effort by Luhan and Yixing, who had spent over an hour on it.  The bassinet has a place on Jongin’s side of their bed.  Jongin still grins like an idiot when she thinks about Luhan’s apartment as theirs now.  She gets butterflies in her tummy and her heart skips a beat and she feels happier all around.

Things are falling in place piece by piece, slotting into open spots in her life that Jongin hadn’t realized were there.

Chanyeol and Yixing allow Jongin to come into work for only a few more days until they’re ushering her out the door.  She’s allowed to do her work from home, but she is not to come into the office.  Jongin complains about it until she’s actually at home.  Being able to work on sketches while she’s propped on the couch, her legs stretched out to ease the pressure in her hips, is far better than sitting in her work chair even after Yixing had put a cushion on it.

Plus, it’s always a benefit to have Luhan come home to her, nudging her way onto Jongin as she takes away her paper to work on later.  Luhan takes shorter days at work, which isn’t too much of a difference because Tao is unpredictable about when he needs her.  She complains that he’s a nightmare to work with, but that she wouldn’t give up managing him for anything.  He’s grown on her.  Jongin thinks it’s because Luhan enjoys the extra exposure because Tao uses her as his model so often.

Every night becomes a lazy night when Jongin can’t move around too much.  She enjoys her position on the couch, flexing her toes as Luhan wipes away the last of the green polish that had been flaking off.  Jongin had decided earlier that she wanted her feet to look pretty for when she’s in the hospital.

“You could always wear socks,” Luhan suggests.

Jongin looks at Luhan in absolute horror.

“Or not,” she amends.  “What color goes best with brand new baby smell.  Blue is too predictable.”

“I like the yellow,” Jongin replies.  “It’s soft and whimsical.”

“Soft and whimsical,” Luhan repeats with a smile.  “Yellow it is.”

It’s two days before Jongin’s 40th week appointment when she feels her first contractions that twinge with pain.  They start off subtle, like cramps before her period, but as the hours go by, they increase in frequency and strength.  She spends most of the day staring at the timer on her phone, scribbling down when each contraction starts.  She doesn’t want to show up at the hospital only to be told she isn’t ready.

She puts a little food on her stomach and keeps water with her so she doesn’t forget to stay hydrated.  Jongin even gets up and walks around more than usual, knowing that it’s supposed to help things along.  There are so many emotions running through her that she can’t settle on just one.  Although each contraction brings with it a pause in the maelstrom of her thoughts, mind going blank and all movement halted in favor of breathing.

As soon as they get strong enough for Jongin to have to sit, legs spread and head down, she calls Luhan.  She knows Luhan was out on a final photoshoot with Tao so it’s no surprise that she doesn’t answer.  It still makes Jongin uneasy, chewing at her lip and breathing through another wave of pain before she dials Kyungsoo.

Her voice is amazingly steady when she says, “I’m going into labor and I can’t reach Luhan.”

“I’ll be right there,” he says, hanging up immediately.

Jongin slumps sideways on the couch, contemplating that this might be the last day of her life that she won’t have someone to take care of.  Sure she’s changed the way she eats to ensure her baby grows healthy inside her, but it’s still her body.  By tomorrow, there might be a little human boy who is solely dependent on her and that’s a humbling notion.

So many things go could wrong.  But at the same time, so many things could go right.

Jongin thinks about her own parents and how disappointed they’d be in her.  They used to tell her that they just wanted her to be happy . . . as long as she did it the way they wanted her to.  Sometimes she’d lay in bed at night, unable to sleep because Sehun was using her ribs as a jungle gym, and feel guilty for keeping something so huge from her parents.  However bad she feels over it, though, it’s nothing compared to the damage they could do to him if they were in his life.

Jongin wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she did that to her child.

Kyungsoo shows up in record time.  He’s still in his work clothes, an apron tied around his waist and Jongin almost laughs at his wide eyes and pink cheeks until another contraction hits and it comes out as this garbled groan of pain instead.  She leans forward and Kyungsoo grabs her so she doesn’t topple over.  

“I called Yixing on the way over,” Kyungsoo says as he picks up Jongin’s bag from where it’s been sitting, waiting, for over a week now.  “She’s going to keep trying Luhan.”

Jongin manages to thank him through gritted teeth.  The walk to the car seems a lot longer than usual when Jongin has to pause to breathe through the pain.  As if the cramps weren’t enough, her entire midsection tightens up and it makes it worse.  Kyungsoo is careful with her, helping her walk and to get in his car.  She opts for laying across the back seat instead of taking up her normal position in the front.

It’s a good thing that Kyungsoo’s the level headed one in the relationship because Jongin isn’t even sure if she’s upright or sideways.  All the knows is that she hates the smell of the hospital, especially now, and she doesn’t approve at all of having to wait as Kyungsoo checks her in.  Her eyes flutter closed, sweat beading along her forehead as she slides down in the hard plastic chair and nearly onto the floor.

They get her up to a room, Kyungsoo at her side the entire way.  The nurse keeps rattling off questions, expecting Jongin to have the patience and ability to answer.  Some of them Kyungsoo fields for her, which she will be eternally grateful for.  She’s also thankful that he doesn’t hesitate to help her out of her clothes and into the hospital gown, snapping up the sides and tying the dozens of strings together so it doesn’t all come apart.

Kyungsoo gets a phone call as they’re strapping Jongin to a machine that monitors and records her contractions.  She’s fascinated for as long as it takes for another contraction to hit and the lines on the machine start to go up and down like crazy.

“Luhan’s on her way,” Kyungsoo assures Jongin, sitting at her side with his hand in hers.  “It won’t be long.”

Baekhyun pops into the room before Luhan does, a bright smile on her face as she greets them both.  “Are we ready to have a baby?” she asks, looking far more excited than Jongin feels she has a right to.

“Not until Luhan gets here,” Jongin whimpers.  “I promised.”

Baekhyun chuckles as Kyungsoo just squeezes Jongin’s hand tighter.  “Promise or not, babies don’t wait for anyone and this one sure seems to want to make his grand appearance.”

Jongin whines, letting her head fall back to rest on the too firm hospital pillow.  She’d really like this part to be over already.  Can’t they just knock her out and wake her up when her baby is born?  That sounds totally reasonable.

Luhan arrives nearly half an hour later, out of breath and wearing the outfit she’d been modeling for the photoshoot, a bag with her own clothes clutched in her hand.  She’s wearing this frilly skirt that’s all tulle and lace in pastel pinks with cream mixed in, complete with a pink crop top and matching chunks of pink color in her hair.  She looks gorgeous, albeit out of place, and Jongin would have told her that if she could have spoken around the knot in .

Luhan sweeps the sweaty hair from Jongin’s forehead, leaving a kiss there and promising that she’ll be right back.  She just needs to change.  Baekhyun compliments Luhan’s outfit as Luhan scurries for the bathroom.

After checking to see how dilated Jongin is, Baekhyun pats her comfortingly on the leg.  “It probably won’t be too long.  I’ll be back in a little while to check you again.”

“You don’t have an estimate?” Kyungsoo asks.

Baekhyun shakes her head.  “It’s mostly a waiting game right now.  Every woman’s body goes at its own speed.  But Jongin’s seems to be doing well on its own.”

It’s only mildly reassuring.  Jongin can only lay back on the hospital bed, grumbling about how too hard it is, and try to relax between contractions.  Luhan reappears a few minutes later, the pink traded in for a soft pair of jeans and a faded tshirt.  She sits on Jongin’s other side, lacing their fingers together.  “So?”

“We’re waiting,” Kyungsoo answers, clearly not pleased with the answer.  He’s anxious; Jongin can tell even when he tries to hide it.  She appreciates him so much.  She appreciates them both more than she could ever put into words.

It’s almost another five hours before Sehun decides he’s ready.  Jongin’s holding her legs up from behind her knees, chin to her chest as she breathes, pushing through the contractions.  There are three people constantly sending her encouraging words, telling her she’s doing so well and it’s almost over, almost there.  Jongin clenches down, pushing when the pain kicks in and it actually doesn’t hurt anymore during that part.  It’s instant relief.

Her head is fuzzy, ears buzzing and Jongin focuses, hopes, gathers all her strength to finish the most important thing she’s ever started.  It’s all very sudden, the free fall that startles her when her baby tumbles out and into the world.  Everyone collectively holds their breath until the first shrill, newborn baby cry fills the room.

Jongin’s legs drop and she stares down at the blue and red splotched baby in Baekhyun’s hands.  He gets redder the more he cries and Kyungsoo is crying too when he holds the scissors steady to cut the umbilical cord.  Jongin had told him a month ago that she wouldn’t have anyone else do it and now it’s a little surreal that he is.

Luhan has Jongin’s hand grasped in hers, silent tears falling from her eyes.  Jongin pulls her hand away, arms out and open when Baekhyun holds him out for her.  She gets to hold her son for the first time and Jongin can’t believe it.  He’s so tiny and cranky, tufts of dark hair matted to his head and his eyelashes still clumped together.  He’s wet and wiggly, nails already sharp enough to leave scratches on his skin when he grabs at his face.

One of the nurses comes over, helping reposition Sehun into Jongin’s arms so she can feed him.  He latches onto her instantly, cries silenced and body stilling.  Jongin can’t stop staring at him.  He’s perfect.  He’s the most perfect baby she’s ever seen.  He lets out a hitched, pleased sigh that has Jongin, Kyungsoo and Luhan all cooing at him, laughing.  Baekhyun’s still between Jongin’s legs, but Jongin hardly feels a thing.  She’s content in this moment.

Jongin watches him, thumbs swiping over his closed eyelids, trailing down a soft cheek to where his fist is still balled up.  He has the tiniest fingers and the smallest toes.  He’s still messy, but they leave him with Jongin for a solid hour before coming to take him for a bath.  It’s well after dark and Jongin’s exhausted, but also too wired to sleep.  Kyungsoo has been taking pictures to send off to everyone, only shrugging in indifference when Luhan mentioned that he was showing everyone Jongin’s too.  If Jongin cared, she would have stopped him.

Luhan figures out how to work Jongin’s bed, lowering the side so she can lean on the mattress, head by Jongin’s to cuddle.  There are toiletries in Jongin’s bag and she aches for a shower because she feels so gross right now, but she also doesn’t want to miss when they bring Sehun back.  She just wants to hold her baby again.

It isn’t until someone comes in to change her bedding that Jongin really moves for the first time.  It’s different.  It’s not like when she grew bigger, because that was stretched over a period of time.  She lost a lot of it all at once and she’s unsteady, not to mention shaky and really sore, but shower.

Kyungsoo stays in the room to wait just in case as Luhan crowds into the bathroom with Jongin.  The shower isn’t as big as the one back home, but it’s big enough for Luhan to fit in with her.  “We don’t need you overexerting yourself,” Luhan murmurs, dropping a kiss on Jongin’s lips.  “You’ve done enough work for today.  Let me take care of you.”

Sehun is an instant attraction.  Jongin stares at him for half the night, unwilling to put him in the bassinet they brought in for him because she doesn’t want to part with him.  He’s all swaddled up in a hospital blanket, a blue hat on his little head to keep him warm and snug.  He moves his mouth when he sleeps, his little tongue pushing against his lips.

Jongin doesn’t get much sleep, but she doesn’t mind.

The rest of the group shows up in the morning.  Jongin’s just managed to feed Sehun and herself a hearty breakfast before they’re rolling in.  Kyungsoo had held Sehun for a while earlier and Luhan has him now, carefully passing him off to Yixing who looks ready to burst into tears.

“He’s so tiny,” she whispers, grinning at him as he sleeps.

Chanyeol looks more wary, but Tao is over by Yixing, staring over her shoulder.  “That’s a good looking kid,” he states.  “I told you.”

“He’s also going to be a kid,” Jongin grumps.  “He has nothing to wear.”

“Don’t worry,” Tao says with a grin, holding up a bag hooked on his fingers.  “I’ve got that covered.”

“It better not be pastel grunge,” Jongin gripes.  Tao just beams.

Sehun leaves the hospital in his first outfit the following morning.  It’s pastel grunge.

Jongin comes home to her apartment with Luhan, taking careful steps inside with Sehun still strapped tight in his carseat.  He’s sleeping and she doesn’t want to wake him.  Everything is the same as when she left and yet everything feels so different, like it’s changed.  She peers down at her son, so full of joy.  It’s only made better when Luhan comes over, gentle as she sweeps her fingers through Jongin’s hair.

“I love you,” she says, beaming and bright and sincere.

Jongin’s eyes fill with tears.  “I love you too.”

Three Months Later

Jongin is sipping at her tea, pensive as she watches Tao and Yixing sitting on the floor in the middle of her living room, Sehun lying between them.  He’s been grinning at the two of them as they take turns leaning down to boop their noses on his.  It amuses him enough for his arms and legs to flail as he grins, trying to grab at Yixing’s ponytail when it’s in range.

The two of them are over because she’s finally conceded to letting them watch Sehun for a few hours while Luhan takes her out.  They’re just going to grab a bite to eat before heading to the movies, but it’s been forever since Jongin’s been out on anything resembling a date.  And now that she has the chance, she’s anxious and worried.

She knows that Tao and Yixing are capable of taking care of Sehun.  Now that Jongin’s back at work, she brings Sehun with her and half of his time is spent on Yixing’s hip except when Tao manages to steal in and sneak him away.  It’s just that he’s still so close to her and she doesn’t know how she feels about being far enough away from him that she can’t just dart into the next room to grab him if he cries.  She chews on the inside of her cheek, fidgeting as she waits for Luhan to finish getting ready.

There’s milk in the fridge in case Sehun gets hungry and both Yixing and Tao have been trained in diaper changing and burping and rolling Sehun onto his tummy over their legs to pat if he gets gassy.  They both have a list of numbers to call in case of emergencies, plus the extra numbers stuck to the refrigerator.  Chances are slim that anything would happen; it still doesn’t mean Jongin isn’t worried.

Separation anxiety.  Baekhyun told Jongin it was completely normal and that baby steps are the best cure.  That’s what she reminds herself when Luhan comes walking out of their bedroom, looking downright sinful in her high waisted black skirt and powder blue blouse.  Jongin over her lips, her desire to see their date night through revived.

“You guys have fun,” Yixing trills, picking Sehun up to put in her lap, waving his arm at her.  He looks so happy, head tilted up and his free hand reaching out for several strands of Yixing’s hair that have fallen in his reach.  Jongin briefly thinks about running back to him, scooping him into her arms and declaring their first attempt a failure.

Then Luhan tugs on her arm enough for Jongin to stumble out the door.  It closes behind her and she stands there, terrified.  Luhan, ever patient and always understanding Luhan, cups Jongin’s cheeks.  “This will be good for you,” she says softly.  “If you still want to come back home after dinner, we can skip the movie.”

Luhan is the absolute best.  She’s also probably the worst because she teases Jongin all through dinner, her bare foot running up the length of Jongin’s leg to settle between her thighs.  They do end up skipping the movie, but not to go home.  Jongin’s never had in the back of a car before, but she’s about to.  It’s not part of her routine, but she’s trying to shed off the old in favor of all the wonderful new she’s been introduced to.

Yeah, her life is pretty great even if it’s not quite what she envisioned.  Jongin peers up at Luhan, her chest squeezing tight with affection and she wouldn’t have it any other way.