Heartbroken people, they're probably one of the strongest people. To be able to go through a heart-wrenching and painful process such as a break-up, and yet still be able to live. And the ones who learn to move on, they're the smartest. Those who learn to get their loved ones back, however... You're not sure if they're smart or stupid. To go back to the one who crushed their hearts... Why? 

God, this is probably the worst break-up you've ever had in your entire life up until now. This is different from the break-up with Sehun, this is different from every other break-ups. You're not sure why that's so either, it's not like you shared many of your firsts with Baekhyun. It could be the fact that you fell too hard for him, too fast, so much so that falling out of love with him would possibly cost the energy of your entire soul. Or maybe it is the fact that you ended the note with a huge trench between the both of you. The trench being a blackhole of unending questions, like who is STY and R, who was that girl Baekhyun stood you up for, why everything ended so suddenly.

You want to hate him, you really do. You want to clear all pictures you've taken together, all your messages shuttled between the both of you. But something is stopping you. Could it be your love for him, because you know you will never unlove him this fast, this easy. Or could it be sympathy, for yourself? 

"Sweetheart." 

You look up, quickly locking your phone to hide the fact that you had been going through your messages between Baekhyun in the past. Sehun and Kai are both looking down at you, hands carrying bags of food. 

"Let's go," Kai his head in the direction of his car. 

You sigh and shake your head, tapping the back of your pencil against your notebook. "Gotta study, boys." 

"Seriously, you're not fooling me," Sehun rolls his eyes, setting the bags down so he could help you pack up. "Call this a break-up rehab, or a best friend meeting," he points a finger at you, making you cross-eyed. "You're getting over Baekhyun the bastard and if you don't, I'm not Oh Sehun." 

"Yeah, you're stupid," you mutter, closing your book. 

While you guys pack up, you hear a girl laughing. You frown because as far as you know, you're the only girl who always comes to the basketball court to study, only because Sehun has training here. The three of you look up, witnessing a girl walking next to Baekhyun. Sehun grits his teeth as his hold around your pen tightens. Kai purses his lips, especially when the female hits your ex-boyfriend's arm playfully. 

"Hit him harder!" Sehun shouts, causing both you and Kai's eyes to widen. 

"Sehun!" you hiss. 

The couple turns to your table, now walking slower. Baekhyun's face is a blank canvas and you hate that while you used to be able to catch every expression on his face, he doesn't give you the privilege to anymore. Just because you're no longer his girlfriend. You swallow the lump in your throat, willing your tears to go back in by looking up at the sky.

"I'm sorry?" the lady smiles at the boys. "Did you say something?" 

"Can we just go," you murmur loud enough for the boys to hear. 

They nod and hurry their packing while you stand from the bench. You stuff your things into your bag, swinging it over a shoulder. 

"Oh, they're leaving," the lady says, sounding quite cheerful. "We could just sit there, we won't have to walk further." 

"ing—" Kai actually says this, out of anger. 

"If they dare to..." 

Oh, Sehun... They dare to. The both of them are walking over and all you want to do is run and hide. You're still too weak to face him, you're still in love with Baekhyun. 

You start to walk away as quickly as possible. The boys follow behind you, easilly keeping up with their long legs. But you're still so prone to Baekhyun's presence, his entire being. 

"Baby—"

You stop short when you hear him calling out. He hisses loudly and even though you know you'll only hurt yourself even more, you turn around. 

"Yes, Baek?" the girl smiles sweetly at the male, her hand caressing his arm where a red spot had formed. 

Why did you ing do that? Why did you have to turn the around? 

Baekhyun pats her hand rather robotically, but you don't notice that when your entire world is already falling apart. He is staring at you, however, when he calls out again, "Miss, I think you left your phone."

"Miss?!" Sehun growls, about to stomp over and highly possibly beat your ex into a pulp. 

"Calm down, Sehun." Kai murmurs, rubbing his arm soothingly in hopes of making him stop snarling. 

Baekhyun pulls away from the lady's touch and gets your phone on the bench, jogging over to the three of you. You want to tell him to run, just so you can breathe, and just so Sehun won't find it too tempting to smash his beautiful face into pieces. 

"Here," he hands your phone to you, gaze holding yours.

"Th-thanks..." you stutter, fingers brushing his soft palm as you collect the device from him. "Mr. Byun," you bow slightly, awkwardly. It's been almost five months since you last called him that. 

"Better leave now," Kai warns, holding back an angry Sehun, who looks like he is about to pounce on Baekhyun and bite his head off.

"We have the same wallpaper," Baekhyun murmurs, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat. 

"The ing nerve of this ing —" 

You swallow and nod quickly, daring just to push Baekhyun away. "Please leave, Mr. Byun," your voice cracking at the end of your plead. You grab a plastic bag from Sehun and thread your fingers through his, squeezing his palm to calm his down. "Let's go, Sehun. Please."

With much force, Kai and you manage to pull Sehun away. You will yourself not to turn back, yet you still do. Baekhyun has returned to the girl's side. Neither of them look as happy as they did before. She is now glaring at him while he grouches, ignoring her as she nags at him. You look away and take a glance at your wallpaper, for a second having forgotten the picture you had used. 

It's that picture you love most, the one of your hand entwined with Baekhyun's, resting on his thigh.

Sehun and Kai did their best in helping you with your heartbreak. But it's not that easy, Sehun knew that. They promised to come over everyday, just to keep you company and keep your mind off "the ing ", according to Sehun. 

But the nights when they're gone and you're alone on your bed, all you think about is Baekhyun. You think you might be strong enough to face him, but when the night before his class comes, you find yourself screaming into your pillow, followed by a bout of crying. You decide not to attend the lesson, even if it is the last one of the semester. You're not as strong as you think.

The next day, while you're hiding out during Baekhyun's class, you receive a text. 

Aww Mr. Byun misses you ;( -R

Your heart rate rises. Without thinking, you type a reply. 

Why do you say that?

Because he's been out of it since class started

Since class started? You frown. That means this person is also in the same class as you. You try to think of someone with the name that starts with R in your class, but you can't think of anyone. You're only half an hour late for the class, so you run as fast as you can, reaching the class in a few minutes. The entire class stares at you in shock and you take this time to survey all of them even as you pant hard. 

Most of them are surprised by your sudden appearance, but there are a few of them who are looking at you with blank faces, not at all fazed by your presence. You keep their faces in mind and turn to Baekhyun, who is also staring at you, his eyes taking in your entire appearance. 

"I had to meet with a student advisor," you lie, entirely aware of how awkward you sound. 

But Baekhyun smiles and shakes his head, "It's fine. Take a seat." 

You do, finding an empty spot next to Dongwook. He grins at you as you settle down, glancing at his neighbour, who is Soonkyu. She has her eyes on the board, listening to Baekhyun explain some last-minute questions on the final project. You decide to do some investigating, which is really not like you. But if the reason behind your break-up with Baekhyun is too secretive for you to know, then at least you should find out who has been sending you these messages. 

"Thought I wouldn't get to see you today," Dongwook whispers. You turn your phone, bringing a pause to the composing of text to R. You smile at him and he leans in closer. "Do you wanna work on our final projects together over brunch on Saturday?" 

"Dongwook, do you have any questions for me?"

The boy springs away from you when Baekhyun calls out on him. You glance at the teacher, noticing how hard his expression is. Your phone buzzes in your hand and you read the text quickly. 

Jumping boats so quickly? -R

You look up, scanning your eyes around the room to check which student is on their phone. No one is. You decide to be a bit fearless. Because if there is anything Baekhyun has taught you out of designing, it is to be fearless. 

Why? Do you like mr. Byun or Dongwook?

You try to catch a student on their phones, but no one is. You glance at Dongwook, just to make sure that he isn't getting from Baekhyun. But then the redhead next to him catches your attention. She has her head down, her hands under the table. You try your luck. 

I can give you both if you want

You wait for her to react and when she does, your heart skips a beat. She turns to glare at you, only to widen her eyes when she realises that you've caught her. You turn away quickly, coming in contact with Baekhyun's worried look. Your heart is running at a thousand kilometres per hour and you're just so confused. You return to your phone, sending out another text. 

What do you have against me, Soonkyu????

She smirks at you and types her reply. 

Dunno, maybe because you're too pretty.

You ignore her sarcasm and pose her your own question.

Do you know STY? 

You stare at her and she shrugs in your direction, which totally means that she does. 

Who is she?

Why, upset bc she stole ur bf?

You know, Dongwook isn't who you think he is

You groan mentally. You honestly don't give a flying about Dongwook and who he really is, as harsh as that sounds. You just want to know why Soonkyu is trying to piss you off anonymously and who the STY is. 

He likes 3somes

You glare at her. Why is she saying such things? 

In Paris

What is she... No way. You look at her, wide-eyed, and she nods smugly. God, they had in your room while in Paris. And Dongwook... He was the one who invited you to a . What the ? 

"Good luck for your exams and final project!" 

A chorus of "Thank you, Mr. Byun" sounds and you know the module is finally over and the last class is done. When Soonkyu stands with her bag, you get up as well, grabbing her arm. She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms so that your hand drops. She looks at the door and you understand her gaze. The both of you leave the room to talk outside. 

"Why are you doing this? How did you even find out?" you hiss when you're both facing each other. 

She shrugs, looking away boredly. "It's not that difficult to figure out." 

"Are you going to stop, then?" You hope she does, since this is the last time you'll see each other anyway. 

"I will," she nods. You're almost elated. But then she adds, "But I don't think to you unnie will."

"To you?" you raise your eyebrow in question. "S.T.Y.? Is that her name, To You?" Soonkyu sighs in irritation, so you quickly come up with a proposal. "You like Dongwook, don't you?" When she gives you her attention, you know you're right. "I promise to stop talking to him if you tell me her name." 

"Really?" she an eyebrow, trying to judge if she should trust you. 

You nod vigorously and put up three fingers. "All yours." 

"Shin To You."

You purse your lips. What kind of name is that? 

"That's just her nickname though, I don't know her real name." Soonkyu glances to the side, noticing Dongwook coming your way. He waves cheerfully at you. "If you go back on your word, I swear I'll tell everyone—"

"I'm leaving, I'm leaving," you reassure her, fast-walking away before Dongwook can get to you. 

You wait for the lift, but there are too many things running through your mind. You feel like you have to move as fast as your thoughts are moving, so you take the stairs despite being on the eighth floor. 

So R is Soonkyu. Why R, though? Her name doesn't even have an R in it. You think back to your trip in Paris. She hated you, she was your roommate, she... You stop in your tracks, spacing out for a moment when that eureka moment hits you. R for roommate! 

You continue thumping down the stairs, unaware that you're going really fast. So fast that Baekhyun, who has been following you, couldn't even catch up. Soonkyu and STY are definitely in cahoots and they definitely know each other. But as far as you know, Soonkyu is your age. And she called STY 'unnie', which means Shin To You is older than her. And most probably you. 

You walk out of the building, still connecting things together. So now you only have STY to deal with. You frown, remembering how Baekhyun actually has her number saved. You rub your temples, looking down to concentrate better. This means that she isn't anonymous to him. You're getting closer to a clue when someone grabs your wrist, scaring you out of your wits.

You're so shocked that your thought becomes verbal as you shout, "Baekhyun knows S.T.Y.!"

You immediately purse your lips and shut your eyes, hoping the person before you is just an apparition. 

"W-what?" Baekhyun's voice conveys his astonishment of you shouting in his face.

You pull your hand away from his grasp, quickly walking away. Baekhyun knows STY, so... Damn it, now you've lost your train of thought. Baekhyun grabs your shirt this time, bunching it up in his fist. You spring back towards him, letting out a little gasp. 

"How do you know S.T.Y.?" he grates out, his lips just by your ear. 

"Let me go, Mr. Byun," you struggle away from him, but he doesn't let you go. 

"Come with me," he growls, pulling you away. 

You fidget uncomfortably under his gaze. "This is a little inappropriate, Mr. Byun," you squeak, glancing up at him as he paces the workshop. 

He stops and swivels around to face you. "How do you know S.T.Y.?" he questions, eyes blazing. 

"She, um... sent those anonymous texts to me." Well, technically she really did, but you just hadn't known it was her if not for you checking on Baekhyun's messaages that night. 

"You're a bad liar," he says for the nth time, striding towards you.

You stay still when he stands in front of you, trying to appear strong. But when he bends and leans towards you, you stutter, "We've broken up, Baek— Mr. Byun." 

His eye twitches. "So? Am I even touching you?" You shake your head and he stares into your eyes. "So why are you so bothered?" You shake your head again, looking away. He grabs your chin and asks you the question he has asked you so many months ago, when you had just met him as your teacher. "Are you scared of me?"

"Yes," you finally snap. You slap his hand away, "Why am I so bothered, you ask? Because you left me without a word and I still love you, you ing bastard!" He is taken aback by your courage, but he doesn't move away. You drive a finger to his chest, "Am I scared of you, you ask? Yes! I'm ing afraid of you, Baekhyun!" You swallow the lump in your throat as a tear falls down your cheek. "I'm terrified I'll give myself to you again," you whisper, voice shaky. "Only to have you let me down." 

You stand up, wiping your tears angrily. Baekhyun looks so vulnerable and so troubled, you almost feel yourself surrender to him. But you can't. You have to be strong. 

"And how do I know S.T.Y.?" you mutter, sniffling. "I saw her messages to you and learnt to put two and two together." You turn towards the exit, trying to hide your non-stop crying. "I don't care if you cheated on—"

"No, no, no," he breaks finally, sounding so pained that you're confused. But what he says next causes your head to pound and your throat to choke up. "I didn't— couldn't cheat on perfection, kitten." 

Baekhyun's phone buzzes to signal a text. You start to walk away, but he runs forward, circling his arms around you. You shut your eyes even tighter, trying to tell yourself that this isn't real. As much as you want to feel his embrace, you can't help the pain shooting through your heart. You can't believe anything now. This isn't real.

"I'm going to risk this," Baekhyun buries his nose into your hair, shaking his head. "After this... she won't give me anymore chances," he mutters to himself. 

You're about to ask him what the hell he is talking about when he turns you around. He cups your face with his hands, wiping your tears with his thumb gently. When he lets you go, he goes over to his bag to get something out. You frown when he carries back a pencil. 

"Remember when I said every architect has a favourite pencil?" he murmurs, staring at you. You nod and he shows you the beat up mechanical pencil. "This is my favourite one. But I wanna give it to you." 

"Why?" you whisper, taking a look at the pencil in his hand. 

"Because I want you to always remember that you're my favourite, too." 

Author's note:

first part: ಠ_ರೃ  huh...
second part: ୧ʕ ⇀ ⌂ ↼ ʔ୨ WTF!!!!!!
third part: (ಥ_ಥ) omg....

Man, I'm a mess, wtf is going on here!!!!!!!!!11!!! 

idk and I'm gonna leave you guys bc i'm mean and sick (literally am, i'm down w a flu and sore throat, but maybe i'm mentally sick too who knows)

Till next time
xoxo