WARNING FOR MY SENSE OF HUMOUR, CRACK, MILD UAL HUMOUR, RUDE LANGUAGE, OT12 FT SOME EXTRAS AND COMPLETE AND UTTER GIBBERISH :P

So. yeah. The Millionaire Matchmaker reached 100 upvotes. my first ever fic to do so. (lol watch now as someone cruel unupvotes it so it has less) but at the time of writing it has 100 UPVOTES OMG. i dont. i cant understand. it probably doesnt seem like a lot to some but honestly to me this story has been my proudest achievement to date and I love the fact that everyone else seems o have enjoyed it <3

this means this story will have 14 chapters (a nice number to round off on!) but I will continue adding more to Never Get Enough of You (the drabble collection connected to this!) i dont know when that'll be though as some of you may have seen im writing Take A Bite of My Heart Tonight (well more of it at least) 

please excuse the unedited mess, the bad humour and jokes that were hilarious at 2 am, and thank you thank you THANK YOU x100000000000 in whatever languages you can all speak because i feel so happy im bananas <33333

much love as ever, I hope you enjoy <33333333333

 

You have created the chat group Christmas Party!!!!!xxx with Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo, Kim Jongin, Kim Jongdae, Kim Minseok, Xi Luhan, Oh Sehun, Wu Yifan, Huang Zitao, Kim Junmyeon, Zhang Yixing and (4) others.

Byun Baekhyun:

Hi guys! So it’s that time of year again! As always you’re invited to mine and Chanyeol’s Christmas party! This year’s theme is couple sweaters and Santa and his reindeer!

                                                                                                                                                         

Oh Sehun:

                                Santa and his reindeer? What the hell is that?

 

Byun Baekhyun:

It means that not only will you be wearing couple sweaters but one of you will be in a Santa hat and the other will be wearing reindeer antlers!

 

                                                Wu Yifan

I would not be seen dead in reindeer antlers.

Byun Baekhyun:

You don’t have to be! Wear a Santa hat!

Wu Yifan

You’re missing the point.

Byun Baekhyun:

Oh don’t be so grumpy Yifan. You know Tao will love it.

Huang Zitao:

Oh my gosh that is such a cute idea!

Byun Baekhyun:

@Wu Yifan told you so...

Kim Jongin:

Guys it’s not that I want to be a kill joy or anything, but I’m in a really important meeting right now.

And some brat’s changed my notification noise to Taemin saying ‘Soy un Dorito’ so everyone keeps looking at me. I am trying to run an internationally renowned business here and it’s kind of hard to focus.

 

 

Oh Sehun:

B

U

L

L

S

H

I

T

Kim Jongin:

What?

Oh Sehun:

I can see you texting Kyungsoo under the table.

Kim Jongin:

I’m allowed to do that, my text notifications are turned off.

Oh Sehun:

Well if you cared so much about your business…

YOU WOULDN’T BE TEXTING KYUNGSOO

                                                                                                                                               

Kim Jongin:

I’m texting Kyungsoo because he’s my FIANCÉ. I care about him more than international stock markets.

Hang on, why are you even in my meeting?

WAIT ARE YOU CHEWING GUM IN MY MEETING

Oh Sehun:

Meh, I was bored. Your secretary let me in.

Kim Hyoyeon:

To be fair, he is paying for my coffee for the next 3 months.

It was a good deal.

Kim Jongin:

B E T R A Y A L. Why do I still employ you?

I should fire you noona, you’re useless.

Kim Hyoyeon:

Rude. I’m more useful than you.

Kim Jongin:

:O HOW? ?? IM CEO OF A WORLDWIDE COMPANY.

Kim Hyoyeon:

Yeah but you’re texting Kyungsoo under the table.

I SEE U 2 BRUTHA

Also @Byun Baekhyun, me and Sooyoung would LOVE to come!

Thanks for inviting us!xxxx

Oh Sehun:

Kekeke this is so entertaining

 

Byun Baekhyun:

You’re welcome HyoHun<3

It’ll be great to see you both xxxx

Kim Jongin:

Ugh, I hate you both.

I’m in a meeting.

I’m trying to work out the percentage by which Germany’s stock market increased in the last quartile.

Go away.

 

 

 

Oh Sehun:

WELL MAYBE YOU’D FOCUS MORE ON GERMAN STOCK MARKETS IF…

Kim Hyoyeon:

…YOU STOPPED MESSAGING KYUNGSOO

Kim Jongin:

I’M IN LOVE WITH KYUNGSOO I’M ALLOWED TO MESSAGE HIM.

I just miss him a lot when I’m at work ok. L

Do Kyungsoo:

Aww Jonginnie <3

I miss you too xxx

Love you :-*

Oh Sehun:

EW.

Do Kyungsoo:

Go away Sehun you and princess Lu are worse.

I can literally hear him squealing in his office.

Are you sending him pics or something?????

Oh Sehun:

OOH My GOD NO.

Kim Jongin:

HE’S BLUSHING SO HARD :’)

Kim Jongin:

Also can we have dinner earlier tonight?

I’m really hungry L

Do Kyungsoo:

Oh I put some chicken wraps in your briefcase!

I didn’t know if you’d be stuck in meetings all day or not.

They’re in the sandwich box in the silver foil <3 xxxxxx

Kim Jongin:

Aww Soo thank you<333

I’ll eat them now. J

L I’d better go now… the Chinese finance minister just arrived.

I’ll be home at 4 ish though <33xxxx

Do Kyungsoo:

I’ll have a hot chocolate waiting for you J <33

See you later, I love you <33333 xxxxx

Kim Jongin:

Love you more <333333 xxxxxxx

Kim Jongdae:

They are so gross I think I just vommed in my  mouth.

Kim Minseok:

Jongdae! Leave them alone.

You’re supposed to be doing the washing up.

Why are you on here?

Kim Jongdae:

Well YOU’RE supposed to be doing the ironing.

Why are YOU on here?????

Kim Minseok:

I’m WAITING for the IRON to WARM UP.

Kim Jongdae:

OOH DEFENSIVE ARE WE???

 

Kim Minseok:

Kim Jongdae you have precisely 3 seconds to shut up.

Kim Jongdae:

What if I don’t, huh?

Whatcha gonna do about it huh, punk?

Kim Minseok:

You know what.

Kim Jongdae:

yes.

 

Do Kyungsoo:

Did they just--? Please don’t tell me they just—

Park Chanyeol:

Ok so I’ll admit Kyungsoo and Jongin were bad…

Do Kyungsoo:

Wait when did you get here?

Park Chanyeol

(since like, forever) …but that was really, REALLY BAD.

Like I think I can taste my breakfast again.

Byun Baekhyun:

IS ANYBODY ACTUALLY COMING TO THIS PARTY?

YOU KNOW THE WHOLE REASON THIS CHAT WAS SET UP?

Kim Hyoyeon:

Well yeah, me and Sooyoung are.

Byun Baekhyun:

Aside from Hyoyeon and Sooyoung, anyone else?

Park Chanyeol:

I AM!

Byun Baekhyun:

-_- CHANYEOL IT IS OUR CHRISTMAS PARTY.

OF COURSE YOU’RE COMING.

Do Kyungsoo

As long as Jongin’s free, we’ll come!

I’ll get him to check his schedule when he comes home J

Byun Baekhyun:

Thank you Kyungsoo.

I’m glad one half of that relationship is reliable.

Oh Sehun changed the chat name to Oh’s Hoes

Xi Luhan

rEALLY? Sehun I’ve taught you better than this L

Oh Sehun:

You make it sound like you’re my father or something

Xi Luhan

Well now you mention it >.>

Do Kyungsoo

GROSS

Xi Luhan

SAYS YOU

Byun Baekhyun:

ARE YOU COMING TO THE CHRISTMAS PARTY OR NAH????

Oh Sehun:

SHOW ME IS YOU REALLY BOUT YOUR MONEY GIRL OR NAH

Kim Jongin:

ARE YOU REALLY BOUT YOUR MONEY OR NAH

Oh Sehun:

CAN YOU REALLY TAKE OR NAH

Kim Jongin:

CAN I BRING ANOTHER OR NAH

Do Kyungsoo:

Kim Jongin. What happened to the Chinese finance minister?

Kim Jongin:

/poutpout/ I didn’t mean it hyung.

The minister’s talking to Jihae now L

I want to see you L

I’m tired of all these meetings

Do Kyungsoo:

Aw I know Jonginnie L

Only two more days then you’ve got time off. <333333

(also say hi to Jihae for me!)

(and apologise for not being able to go for coffee in ages!)

Kim Junmyeon:

Wow you people need Jesus.

Park Chanyeol:

DON’T RUIN THE FUN GDI

Zhang Yixing:

Why are there all these notifications on my phone?

Byun Baekhyun:

YIXING ARE YOU AND JUNMONEY COMING TO THE CHRISTMAS PARTY

Zhang Yixing:

Did you know there are more bunnies in the world than people?

Kim Jongin:

Whoa, seriously?

Oh Sehun:

That seems fake, but ok.

Kim Jongin:

Stop being a meme for goodness sake.

Kim Hyoyeon:

Tbh, it’s not that far-fetched.

I mean, rabbits breed like… rabbits.

Oh Sehun:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

Kim Hyoyeon:

Yah stop being sarcastic to your noona.

Kim Jongin:

Can’t someone google that? I’m really curious now.

Sehun google it for me, you’re not doing anything important.

Oh Sehun:

I’M PLAYING NEKO ATSUME

I WANT A PHOTO OF RAMSES THE GREAT

HE KEEPS DISAPPEARING

Huang Zitao:

OH MY GOSH I LOVE THAT GAME!!

Have you got Tubbs yet?

Oh Sehun:

YES I HAVE HE’S SO ANNOYING

WHY IS HE EATING ALL MY SASHIMI

I SPENT 5 GOLDFISH ON THAT

Byun Baekhyun:

TAO, PARTY?

Huang Zitao:

Oh yeah, me and Yifan are coming. J

Byun Baekhyun:

WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THAT EARLIER

Junmyeon ARE YOU AND YIXING COMING??

Kim Junmyeon:

Yes! But only if you stop referring to me as Junmoney

Kim Jongin changed the chat name to $UHOE’S SUGGABABIEZ <3

Kim Jongin:

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Kim Taeyeon:

Tiff and I would love to come Baek, thanks for the invite!xxx

Byun Baekhyun:

Taeyeon you are a saint. Bless your ability to just answer a question <3

And whatever you say Junma ;)

Kim Junmyeon:

I’m not even sure why I’m still here.

Why do I associate with you?

Do Kyungsoo:

Well I’m the one who pays your wages.

Kim Junmyeon:

Fair enough.

Kim Jongin:

And you have to be nice to me because I’m the boss’ babe ;))))))))

                                                                                                                                                                                        

Byun Baekhyun

SEHUN ARE YOU COMING TO THE PARTY?

Oh Sehun:

YES WE ARE NO NEED TO SHOUT

Why didn’t you just ask earlier?? Kekeke

Byun Baekhyun:

Right so that’s everyone except Jongdae and Minseok

I’ll think I’ll ask later for them though.

Oh Sehun:

Good move.

Byun Baekhyun:

Ok. I’ll send out dates and times when necessary.

Until then, I’m changing the chat name and I’m going offline.

Byun Baekhyun changed the chat name to Christmas Party

 

 

 

 

 

Kim Jongin:

Has he logged off?

Park Chanyeol:

I think so, he’s just gone in the shower.

Kim Jongin changed the chat name to KING JONGIN

 

Oh Sehun changed the chat name to YSEHUNSQUAD

 

Do Kyungsoo:

Oh my god really?

Kim Junmyeon:

Why

Kim Junmyeon changed the chat name to LETS LOVE WE ARE ONE <33333333

Oh Sehun:

Hyung, I know you’re gay and everything.

And I’m gay and everything.

And everyone on this chat is gay and everything

And I’m dating Xi Luhan and everything.

But that was possibly the gayest thing I’ve ever seen anyone do.

Ever.

Kim Hyoyeon changed the chat name to QUEEN HYONCÉ RULEZ THE EARTH

Do Kyungsoo changed the group chat name to Kyungsoo’s peasants (except Jongin <3)

Oh Sehun:

WHAT??? THAT IS UNFAIR HYUNG

Kim Jongin:

<333333333333333333333333333

 

Park Chanyeol changed the group chat name to CHANYEOL’S FERRET CLUB

Kim Hyoyeon:

What the hell.

I think I preferred being Kyungsoo’s peasant.

Kim Jongin changed the chat name to Do Kyungsoo looks good ;)

Do Kyungsoo:

Awww <3

Right back at you ninibear <333333

Park Chanyeol:

Why does Kyungsoo turn into a teddy bear when Jongin’s involved.

He’s evil

Like if anyone else said anything like that

We’d all be burning by now.

Kim Taeyeon changed the chat name to MY LIFE IS A BEAUTY <3

Kim Hyoyeon:

Taeng for your own safety stay out of this <333

Kim Jongin changed the chat name to JONGIN HAS THE HIPS OF AN ANGEL

Oh Sehun changed the chat name to OH SEHUN IS THE KING OF DANCING

Kim Jongin changed the chat name to JONGIN IS THE GOD OF DANCING

Oh Sehun changed the chat name to OH SEHUN HAS A MASSIVE NOODLE

Kim Jongin:

A MASSIVE NOODLE OMG

YOU JUST CALLED YOUR A NOODLE

NOODLE

NOOOOOOODLE

NOOODLE

:’) :”) ;”)

Kim Jongin changed the group chat name to SEHUN’S WIBBLY NOODLE

Oh Sehun changed the group chat name to SEHUN HAS THE NOODLE OF A GOD

Kim Jongin changed the group name to SEHUN’S NOODLE IS NOTHING COMPARED TO JONGIN’S SWORD OF PLEASURE

Zhang Yixing:

What’s so funny about noodles?

I like noodles.

Zhang Yixing changed the group chat name to <33333 Unicorns <33333

Kim Jongin:

You know what I give up.

Oh Sehun:

this I’m out. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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