“You know, I don’t even know why I’m here. Getting street casted and everything, sure it’s my dream to be a singer but really, is this what I want to be?

I’m afraid I won’t debut. I’m afraid I wouldn’t have fans. I’m afraid I chose the wrong path. I don’t know if I will have the burning passion in me throughout my entire life. 

What if I stop liking to sing or stop wanting to be a figure tomorrow? What if I’m just stuck in this contract, just training and training my entire life for no sole reason?

I could be at home, studying for the test I have tomorrow or watching my favourite drama or even catching up on my sleep. But I’m here, doing something I want to do but can’t accept. Training over ten hours per day just to feel uncertain at the end of everyday. Feeling like a waste of time and money and resources after getting yelled at for being so horrible at dancing, singing and rapping when all I could do my entire life was that.”

I looked into the eyes of my senior, eyes glassy.

“Look Joonmyeon. Life is uncertain. Anything could happen in a second. You could debut tomorrow, billions of fans loving you and in the next second you can just collapse and die.” 

Wow, that escalated quickly. But as much as I know it was true, I chuckled anyway.

“I know you must be thinking, ‘this is just some dumb slave contract. I won’t ever debut.’ Guess what? I thought that too when I was a trainee and I debuted within a year. Three months Joonmyeon. Those three months of uncertainty was painful. I had no one who supported me, not even my parents but you do. I worked my off to get on stage so you better do too. You’ve come so far, Joonmyeon and you need to see that.”