(( Hello all~ School term is finally over, and I am down to one job starting today~ even if that does mean it's another whole week before I get a day off because of my days changing xD But hey, starting next Friday I'll have Fridays and Saturdays off every week and will have so much time to write things, and fix up the last several chapter titles and the playlist and actually know what days off are like xD Anyhow, here's the new chapter~ ))
 

Just two more days, Minseok thought, over and over, between calling out names of customers as their drinks were finished. Two more days, and then I can go back to my internship and things can go back… His vision went out of focus for a moment and he staggered a little, blinking slowly, jumping a little when there was a hand on his shoulder.

“Minseok-Hyung, are you alright?” Wonshik asked, the older offering a nod and trying to wave his hand off, turning back to the expresso machine, and through the light headed feeling moving caused he barely noticed the hands that grabbed a hold of his waist when he almost tilted over. “Woah, I think you need to sit-” a high pitched ringing cut off anything else that the blue haired male said, darkness taking over Minseok’s vision.

“Yes sir, his chart explains his signs of malnutrition. They’re not extreme, but they are concerning… Yes, I’ll page you when he’s woken up.” Minseok’s eyes opened halfway, and his head lolled to the side as he took in the blindingly white scene around him. Something about the voice seemed familiar, and he jumped a little when he blinked and suddenly there was someone standing beside his bed.

“Sorry, did I wake you? I was trying to be quiet,” the brunette said, Minseok staring at her for a moment, feeling dazed.

“You’re Victoria…” He said, his voice feeling scratched and dry, and she nodded, lowering her hands from the equipment she had been messing with. “Where…”

“You’re in the hospital. Your coworker said that you didn’t seem well, and then you passed out. A boy by the name of LuHan was listed as your emergency contact, and when we let him know you had been brought here he seemed concerned but not surprised and said that you haven’t been taking care of yourself recently.” Minseok turned his attention away from her, halfheartedly letting out a sigh. “He hasn’t been either, you know.”

“Who?”

“ZiTao.” Minseok felt a faint shiver at the name, closing his eyes until he heard Victoria move away from the bed. “He wishes he could go back and fix what he did, but we all know that’s something impossible. I know he’s at fault for what happened, and he does too… but he’s also blaming himself for Yifan leaving.” She said, Minseok looking to her as his eyebrows knit together before shifting his gaze to his own lap.

“Yifan leaving? But he leaves all the time, for his business trips,” Minseok pointed out, struggling a little to sit up in the hospital bed.

“This time he’s not coming back.” Minseok’s stomach dropped and he froze, looking to where she stood in the doorway of his room. 

“What?”

“Yifan graduated, and never made his move her official. He was just a part of the exchange program… He and Yixing went to China for a vacation, and Yixing was the only one who came home. Yifan didn’t have the guts to call ZiTao himself, my poor baby had to hear from me that his platonic soulmate had abandoned him from me a week after the two of you broke up.” She said softly.

“We… We didn’t break up, we just… went on a break,” He said, Victoria looking back at him over her shoulder.

“A break is a break. If I were you, I would talk to him before what you two had is broken for good.”

 

Minseok found himself standing in front of the daunting door at the address Victoria had given him, three days later, for close to five minutes before he found the courage to knock, his knuckles hitting the door once before the handle turned and the door opened, ZiTao looking as startled as Minseok felt. At first he wondered if the other had been expecting him, but upon noticing the blond had his jacket and shoes on he ruled out the idea.

“Uh… Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Would you… like to come in?”

Minseok was starting to wonder if it had been a good idea, but if he got up from the couch that had too much space on it he knew it would be the last they say of each other. So there they sat, in a deafening silence that reminded Minseok of too many sleepless nights, pulling his voice from his throat at the same time that ZiTao started to speak, and they were both silenced again, caught up in being overly polite to each other. After half a dozen false starts Minseok sighed, and ZiTao fidgeted in his seat.

“I… I miss you.”

“And you think I don’t?” Minseok bit, and the way ZiTao flinched at the sound caused his heart to throb a little.

“I… I didn’t mean it like that…” ZiTao said, his voice softer this time, a silence setting in between the again.

“If we’re going to talk this out, we can’t be walking on eggshells the entire time,” He said, the younger offering a stiff nod. “I’m… I’m finally ready to talk about this. Last time you tried to explain things and I wasn’t ready to listen but… I think I am now.” There were a lot of pauses and attempted starts from the younger, who seemed a little frustrated with himself until he stopped to take a deep breath, finally able to start with an even voice.

"There was a lot of... Bad timing. One day when I was feeling really lonely Sehun for a group together thinking that if I made more friends then things would be better with you, Ge and Victoria-Jei were all busy. B-but the group he got together was just a bunch of couples plus him and me... It didn't make me feel any better that-that you were busy and Ge was off with Yixing-Ge,... What made things worse was it made me feel a little better that LuHan-Ge wasn’t able to come, because then I wouldn't have been the only one there without my soul mate but then S-Sehun was just sitting there on his mobile ignoring me and talking to LuHan-Ge." ZiTao took a moment to take a deep breath as his voice quivered a little.

"Ge was gone a lot on his business trips, and then you were always working... You were so busy we rarely made date plans, and a lot of the time when we did you would have to cancel or be late or leave early and it made me feel like you didn't really want to be with me... Like you were just being nice and didn't want to hurt me so you didn't b-break up with m-me." Minseok cringed at the crack in the younger's voice, a burn in his throat starting as if he had been holding his breath even though he hadn't, ZiTao’s fingernails bitting into the cushion of the couch, as he curled in on himself a little.

"Then at the party I was surrounded by more couples, waiting for you to come because we hadn't seen each other in a long time but then... You had to cancel yet again and I just... Felt so pushed to the s-side. Not just by you, but by Ge… and Sehun and Jongin are always off doing their own things too... Victoria was the only one who seemed to c-care enough to drop what she was doing when I needed her, but even that's changed now... with her being hired as a nurse and having a romantic soulmate of her own... And Ge is gone for good... Victoria tells me that spending time with Chanyeol-Hyung is the worst thing I can do but he... He's the only one who makes time for me anymore... Who acts like he wants to spend time with me... Like it isn't a hassle making time to do so.” 

“Mixing what my thoughts were stuck on with th-the alcohol they were so insistent that I drink… I didn’t even want to play their st-stupid game! But they wouldn’t let me say no, and Ge wasn’t stopping them and I didn’t w-want to kiss any of them so… drinking what they were giving me seemed like the only option to make them leave me alone… You said you weren’t able to make it after Ge finally d-decided I didn’t have to play anymore and I got ups-set… Then when I went into my room, Chanyeol-Hyung was in my bed and i-it just felt like anything that was mine was being taken away from me. So I laid down on my bed hoping that it would make him leave but then he turned a-around and asked me to k-kiss him and I… He sounded so hurt, s-so sad, so… He sounded as broken and alone as I had been feeling and I made a mistake in kissing him.” ZiTao released the couch cushion, wrapping his arms around his own waist as if trying to hold himself together as a few tears slid off his cheeks, making wet spots on the thighs of his pants.

“I wanted to feel like I was i-important… for just one minute I wanted to f-feel like someone was p-paying attention to me and only m-me… Like you us-used to when we went on our first d-dates… Before you became too busy for m-me, before work seemed more i-important… But it wasn’t what I wanted, b-be-because he wasn’t who I wanted… he didn’t give the affection I w-was craving, even when he bit me in a way I f-fantasized you biting me… And when h-he went to take of my p-pants I told him n-no… and that we were done. Then you found us the next morning after I his ex c-came in, and I wasn’t able to explain and you l-left… Ge yelled at me when he came in a few moments after you were g-gone, and then he l-left to China and never came back. You stopped replying to my texts, and Chanyeol-Hyung was the only one who could stand to be around m-me because he understood… We understood each other, but… being around him just made me hate myself-!” his voice cut out just as he got the word out, shoulders jerking as he hiccupped on a sob. Minseok reached out slowly, fingers hesitant to brush against the back of the ZiTao’s hand in an attempted soothing action. He was surprised when ZiTao looked at him for the first time since they had sat on the couch together.

“I’m so sorry! I hate myself for what I did, for hurting you… I’m never going to stop regretting what I did because just because I felt the way I did, i-it doesn’t excuse what I did… Nothing can ever excuse hurting you like that, and I can’t say s-sorry enough. But I n-need you to know that I’m s-sorry… God, I’m so ing sorry,” ZiTao whimpered, hanging his head again as he hiccupped on another sob. "If you never want to speak to me again, I understand and I'll respect the decision you make," ZiTao added after a long moment of silence, gripping at the hem of his own shirt for dear life.

"I want to... Forgive you." ZiTao had prepared for his heart to sink, and when it jumped instead be the way the other finished his sentence the younger was startled, looking over at Minseok who was still looking at his own lap. "I don't know how long it'll take but... I do want to make this work," the older explained. He tried to swallow a feeling that started in his throat, a little confused by the way it was more of a phantom sensation that from his own emotions. His eyebrows knit together and when he finally looked over at ZiTao his eyes were wide.

"Your... It feels like your throat tight, doesn't it?" he asked, confusion and surprise flickering in the blond's eyes.

"Y-yeah. Sorta like... My-"

"Heart jumped up into it," the two finished simultaneously, and ZiTao's eyes widened as well.

"How did you-"

"I... Feel it too. But not in the way that I feel when my own heart makes a home there... More like when LuHan's does… but a little stronger."

"D-do you think that... Means we might be..." ZiTao hesitated with the word, having to take a deep breath before it would fall from his lips.

"Soulmates?" the pair felt a shiver trail down their spines as they said it in unison and ZiTao's breath caught in his throat at the first smile he'd seen on Minseok's lips since this whole mess had started.