Chapter 1: OMG YES PLEASE *U* IM SOO ANXIOUS NOW...! OWWNT THIS LOOKS CUTE!
Jonghyun puppy is the cutest thing~~ and i love top!key to death, ftw keyhyun!
please update -3-
i love you're writting and i love how you made Jjong's funny and silly personality came out, Kibum's personality is a bit stronger and mature than jjong sometimes hehe and u made that just right honey *--* *im sorry my english*
i will follow all you're updates now *u*
Chapter 1: Hello darling :)
I apologize in advance because this is going to be just a very quick and messy comment.
Either way, I thought it would be nice to let you know my opinion on this, even though from this first chapter there still isn't much to say. I'm honestly quite eager and curious to see how you will develop this because I'm quite fond of pet play, and yet have a way harder time finding fics about it than one would expect. I'm also quite pleased to see it features a bottom!Jonghyun in such a context, rather than the other way around (which is somewhat more common).
As I've said there still isn't much to say about this first chapter though since not much has happened until now. The only observations I can make are the fact that I found the intervetion scene to be a bit surreal but quite funny nonetheless and that I'm enjoying how you're depicting Taemin. The thing that leaves me perplexed though it's Jonghyun: he can be quite silly and all, but aren't you describing him too much like a kid?^^" I think maybe you're enhancing this side of him a bit too much and can't help but think this would feel more realistic if you'd tone this attitude of his down by a tad.
Also, your writing style is over all correct and fluent, but very simple too; polishing a bit could maybe help you set up a more entrancing atmosphere.
I hope you won't take offense from these observations of mine: they're meant more as suggestions than anything else. They are also personal opinions, so you can feel free to just ignore them :)
And I think that was all. I hope this lil review of mine will prove to be helpful for you^^
Have fun writing this fic! I'll be waiting for the next chapter :)
Bye :)
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