The past week was probably the most awkward moment in Jimin’s life. He was just completely lost, he wasn’t sure of anything in his life, and most importantly, he was scared. After that (un)lucky night when he and Hoseok went clubbing, Jimin felt really bad. During the event he didn’t really mind his friend kissing the life out of him, they were both drunk, and Jimin was even more than that, I can almost call him wasted. Was a kiss itself something bad? No. Was Jimin forced into it? No. What’s more to that, he was dreaming about this moment for weeks, but when it happened… it wasn’t that. It wasn’t the kiss he dreamt of. He wanted to be aware, he wanted to be able to enjoy it fully, to taste Hoseok’s lips and kiss him back, and how he ended doing it? His head was completely blank, his mouth paralyzed and kisses sloppy, but did it feel good at that time? Hell yes it did. And Jimin found that the worst part of the story.

What’s going to happen now? How will it be between him and Hoseok? Will they choose to move on or…?

Jimin sighed deeply once again and took a sip of his already cold tea. He had completely put away coffee. Since the incident he couldn’t sleep that much and he didn’t want to risk a complete insomnia because of coffee. He didn’t looked well, and he didn’t feel any better too, so he decided to take a few days off to rest properly and try to solve this awkward situation. He was just going to leave the kitchen to distract himself a bit and play some video games when his phone beeped. Jimin looked at it suspiciously and quickly opened it. His heart sank when he saw a text message from Hoseok. After a week of complete silence, which was very weird for them both, Jimin was scared to read whatever Hoseok had sent him.

Even a simple message like that already made him nervous. It was awkward, it was so damn awkward, and Jimin had no idea what to reply to him. It seemed like Hoseok just send him an usual message like he always did from time to time, so Jimin decided to go with the flow and tried his best to make his response look casual as well. It seriously felt like texting way back in high school when you ask your friends for advice what to write and which emoticons to use. Jimin couldn’t help but smile to himself when he got reply from his friend almost immediately.

Did he wanted to meet? Yes, of course. They didn’t talk nor meet during the past week, Jimin simply missed Hoseok already and wanted to spend some time with him. What he was afraid of was obviously the situation between them and how they’re going to handle it. Previously, when Jimin had been still dating all those girls, he didn’t really had a problems like that. When situation had been getting bad, Jimin would had just end the relationship, don’t try to solve it or anything. It was probably because none of those girls hadn’t been really close to him like Hoseok, and now, when it was the matter of his and Jimin’s friendship, he was seriously worried. But he finally came to the conclusion that waiting won’t help them anyway, and he should be thankful that Hoseok had already made the first move to improve their situation. Jimin decided to take the opportunity and try to work something out of it. He typed the reply and sent it, not letting go of his phone even for a second while waiting for his friend to text back.   

There it is, next problem. Jimin couldn’t help but whine in his own helplessness. He had no idea where they should meet. His or Hoseok apartment seemed to be the worst possible options. They would be alone there, no one else around them to help make the situation less awkward. The best way out would be probably meeting in a café or a bar, somewhere where they can still talk comfortably without making each other nervous. But then Jimin realized that the problem they need to solve is pretty major and it’ll be better to talk in a nice and quiet environment, they don’t know how they’ll react and what can happen. And after their last meeting, Jimin didn’t really know what to expect.

Done. It’s done, no way back. Hoseok is coming over and they need to talk. Jimin put away his phone and sighed deeply, shaking off last traces of tension. He felt like he’s going to had a headache from thinking so much and you could easily see that written on his face, pale and not healthy-looking at all. He decided to take a quick shower before Hoseok comes and try his best to look like nothing really happened.

And even though the upcoming meeting made his really nervous, he couldn’t stop the warmness filling up his body just by the thought of seeing Hoseok again.

____________________

Oh dear, it was awkward.

Both Jimin and Hoseok were sitting in the living room, in complete silence, very busy on their phones. They had been like that for a good 15 minutes, and Jimin was seriously feeling like he’s going to die. The only conversation they had had was about the weather and what Hoseok would like to drink. And after that, there was just silence.

You can’t even imagine how unbearable it was. Them, most talkative and energetic people, sitting next to each other and not even exchanging a single stare. Jimin’s excitement disappeared already, all he felt now was an urge to run away and never come back. But then, in this damn silent room, Jimin suddenly heard a quiet giggle. He looked to his right on Hoseok, just to see his friend laughing under his breath while watching something on his screen. His face looked relaxed again, his usual sunshine smile on his mouth, eyes barely visible, that how much he was laughing. Jimin leaned in his direction a bit, trying to peek onto his friend’s screen, but he seriously couldn’t see anything. Finally Hoseok noticed him and pulled him a bit closer so he couldn’t comfortably see his phone.

“You have to see this video!” he said with shaky voice, trying his best to control his laughter so he could speak. He played the video again and laughed, almost instantly, even though nothing funny happened yet. Jimin’s eyes seemed to be glued to the screen as well, but he didn’t really cared about the video. He felt the tension escape his body and it was all thanks to Hoseok. It was normal again. Jimin laughed when Hoseok did, sending him amused stares from time to time and enjoying the view and sound of his friend’s laugh. They watched few more funny videos, pointing out the best moments and reading comments together. After few minutes they calmed down a bit, the room became quiet again, and both men came back to reality. They didn’t talk for a few minutes already, and none of them looked like they’re willing to start a conversation. Hoseok had put his phone away and was now watching Oliver sleeping in the corner of the room, while Jimin was pressed against Hoseok’s side, sitting so close to him it was already uncomfortable.

Suddenly Hoseok moved a bit, turning around to face Jimin more, and leaned forward to meet his eyes. He opened his mouth and immediately closed it, dropping his stare for a few seconds, and then looked at Jimin again. His eyes were bright and sparkly, his mouth curved into relaxed smile.

“I missed you, Jiminnie.”

Jimin felt like someone had just poured a boiling hot water onto him. He seemed like hit by a heatwave, he inhaled deeply and looked at Hoseok, but had to drop his stare, not being able to look his friend in the eyes. He swallowed with difficulty and tried to come up with something appropriate to say, but he just couldn’t force his mouth to open. He tried to hide his already shaking hands but he failed miserably as he didn’t even had sleeves long enough to do that.

“I missed you too.”

It was all Jimin was able to say back, and even that cost him a few seconds to come up with and tons of courage. He still didn’t looked at Hoseok, but he could feel his stare burning his skin and making his cheeks more and more red. Jimin had never been so nervous before, his head was empty and lips dry, and even them every five seconds wasn’t helping.

Hoseok adjusted himself again and moved closer to Jimin, even though it seemed to be impossible. He sighed deeply and spoke up again, placing his hand on Jimin’s knee, making him almost scream in panic.

“Then why didn’t you call me?”

Jimin felt the chills running down his spine by the sound of Hoseok’s voice. It sounded so cold and accusing it made Jimin feel guilty. He needed space to think, he felt like suffocating when Hoseok was so close, so he distanced himself from his hyung a bit and even send him a short stare, shaking off his hand.

“I don’t know. You didn’t call as well, so that’s fair.”

He was really proud of himself, he didn’t think he would be able to talk at all, but here he was, talking back almost comfortably. Okay, he was very far from being comfortable, but running away from Hoseok’s proximity helped him a bit to pick up the courage. Hoseok was making him weak and helpless, and now he had to be strong and confident. Well, that was a plan at least..

“Jiminnie.”

Oh god, please don’t call me that, thought Jimin, looking up at his friend. And it was his biggest mistakes, it was the moment when he realized his defeat. Hoseok was staring at him with such an adoration that Jimin felt second heatwave hitting him. Hoseok was literally undressing him from all his confidence, taking away his courage and everything left in his head.

“Did you really miss me?”

That question was like a slap for Jimin, but it didn’t wake him up, it just made him more dizzy and lost. He was watching Hoseok’s face blankly, examining his bright eyes and delicate lips, following his body when he moved closer again, not taking eyes off Hoseok’s hand caressing his knee again.

“Jimin, answer me.”

He managed to look up at his hyung and nod, not even trying to open his mouth and talk. The next thing he saw was a sunny smile blooming on Hoseok’s face and how his loud sigh of relief filled the room.

“You’re so stupid, Jiminnie.”

Hoseok laughed loud, moving his hand from Jimin’s knee to his cheek, caressing it delicately, trying to lock eyes with his dongsaeng. But Jimin’s eyes seemed to be locked on Hoseok’s smile, his face blank and pure red from embarrassment, his lips not being able to stay closed. The older boy finally gave up talking and pulled Jimin in for a loose, warm embrace. Jimin’s body felt so stiff and heavy to hug that Hoseok couldn’t stop but giggle. He clearly didn’t expect his friend to react this way. The feeling of his small hands nervously clenching his shirt was totally disarming, and Hoseok was actually glad that Jimin couldn’t see his face right now. After a few seconds he buried his face in Jimin’s hair and spoke up softly.

“Hey, why are you so awkward, hm?”

Jimin tensed up even more, and even though he felt the need to escape this feeling and this embrace, he stayed there, feeling safer when Hoseok couldn’t see his face. His hands were shaking now, making it unable to rest them properly on his hyung’s back, and eyes were already shinning with tears. He didn’t want to cry, he should be happy that it’s like this, that Hoseok took this problem in his own hands and made it all easier for Jimin, but he was … He was just so, so lost.

“Because I don’t know what to do, hyung…”

He whispered in response, pressing his face against Hoseok’s shoulder. He felt the tears coming and he managed to stop them, but he couldn’t stop his voice from shaking. Hoseok’s breath on his skin was like a blessing, and feeling of his arms around him made him feel safe, and after a few seconds Jimin felt a bit better. 

“Oh, stupid, just hug me.”

And Jimin did hug him, even though it was weird and uncomfortable while doing it on the couch and sitting next to each to other. He just wanted to feel Hoseok’s chest pressed against his own, his breath ghosting over his skin and laugh tickling his ear. After a few seconds Jimin pulled away for a bit, just to squeeze his head between both of them and meet Hoseok’s eyes, all smiley and half-closed. Jimin softly poked his hyung’s nose with his own, causing next giggle outbreak to happen, and his own cheeks bloomed with read all over again.

“You are so stupid, Jimin.”

Hoseok whispered softly, pressing his forehead against Jimin’s. Their eyes remained locked and it didn’t feel so awkward anymore, their arms embracing each other tightly and lips curved in relaxed smiles.

“No-o, you are stupid. You should have called me, I was worried…”

“Oh shush!”

Hoseok quickly cut Jimin off and planted a quick peck in the corner of his lips.

“Kiss me.”

Jimin was hit by a third heatwave this afternoon, but it didn’t matter anymore. His sweaty hands, his red cheeks and butterflies dancing in his stomach – it was all nothing.

Jimin just smiled in response and kissed Hoseok softly. He barely touched his lips, but he could feel Hoseok hold his breath already, his hands tightening around Jimin’s waist. So he kissed him again, pressing their lips together harder, not being ashamed of the small moan that escaped his mouth. He wanted to taste him, to remember the shape of this lips and their texture, he wanted to feel his hands on his back and his sweet scent filling his nose. He wanted Hoseok to show him everything and give him everything, to take his breath away and feel Hoseok’s tongue on his lips, off every last piece of shame and fear.

Hoseok smelled like citruses and his tongue tasted like heaven. He made Jimin’s head spin around and lose the sense of time, he made his muscular body tremble like fragile flower and heat up with excitement. 

Jimin was full of Hoseok and he was the only thing that matter at that moment.

“Hyung…?”

Jimin whispered with trembling voice, parting their lips and resting his face in the crook between Hoseok’s neck and shoulder. His face felt like burning and lips felt numb, but he never felt better. Hoseok didn’t even reply to him, he just mutter something under his breath and buried his face in Jimin’s hair again.

“What’s going to happen now?”

Jimin couldn’t see Hoseok’s face but he could surely feel him smiling. When he moved away from their warm embrace, Jimin suddenly felt really cold an empty, and he almost wanted to jump back into a hug, but Hoseok quickly stood up and headed to the kitchen.

“Now? I’m going to make you some dinner!”

Jimin watched his hyung leaving with a weird feeling inside his stomach, like a mixture of all those crazy butterflies and a bonfire, making him feel cozy and safe just by looking at Hoseok. He was still a bit overwhelmed by what just happened, but surely Hoseok’s voice brought him back on earth.

“WHY IS YOUR FRIDGE EMPTY AGAIN?!”

Jimin just smiled to himself, because if Hoseok was going to kill him now, at least he’s going to die happy.