Chapter 15

When Irene asked SeulGi to stay with her, SeulGi has none the slightest idea of how it would turn out to be. SeulGi has no idea how close should she stay with Irene, because by the time that they got back to the garden where the dinner was set up, Irene has never let go of SeulGi after that. Not even for a second did SeulGi not feel Irene’s hand on her. If ever Irene would let go of her hand, Irene’s hand will manage to stay clutched on her dress, or on her shoulder, or on her arm, or on her back, or in some instances – and much to SeulGi’s dismay and somehow, joy – on her waist. SeulGi, at times, try to take Irene’s hands off her for either reason: first, she’s not used to it, and second, she’s afraid for her alarmingly increasing heart rate.

SeulGi should be thanking the heavens that she’s not standing idly and idiotically in a corner anymore since Irene drags her wherever Irene will go.

SeulGi should also be thankful since now she doesn’t feel as out of place, but she’s not feeling any better since she’s not out of place. For whoever talks to Irene, talks to her.

She has been acquainted with almost all of Irene’s clan by the time the gathering reaches its last hour. Whenever Irene is met with a relative, SeulGi is compelled to talk to them as well.

Nobody asks who SeulGi was. SeulGi doesn’t know why either, she likes to think that maybe because they really didn’t care who she was or what she’s even doing there. Not that it’s a bad thing, SeulGi is actually more thankful they don’t ask about her or she would be rigid as a stick in answering and keeping a conversation going.

But one fateful relative had the guts to finally ask the question SeulGi is trying to avoid.

“Hi, Auntie.” Irene bows at a middle-aged woman SeulGi assumes – from how Irene addresses the woman – as the former’s aunt. When SeulGi sees Irene bow, she does the same.

“JooHyun!” The woman hugs Irene, and SeulGi could just watch in unease as Irene’s aunt then turns to her, “And…?”

SeulGi quickly looks at Irene, and fortunately, Irene gets it.

“Ah, Auntie!” Irene prompts SeulGi to go front, “This is SeulGi.”

“Hello, SeulGi.” Irene’s aunt bows, and SeulGi returns it by bowing five more times, so Irene was left rolling her eyes internally, “You are Irene’s... ?”

The question made both Irene and SeulGi look at each other.

Oh, no.

SeulGi is what to Irene, anyway?

SeulGi’s eyebrows are closely joined together and she can see Irene’s eyebrows bind together thinking of an answer as well.

“I’m… I’m,” SeulGi stutters as she thinks.

Servant? Guest? At least a friend?

Seriously, what am I to Irene?

This was the time SeulGi was waiting for, for Irene to finally label their relationship.

And that was the time SeulGi’s heart drops yet again when Irene does put a label between them, “This is SeulGi. My… school mate.”

Nope, not even friends. Even worse than strangers.

“Ah,” Irene’s aunt nods slowly, “Well, it’s nice that you’re able to come here and join us, SeulGi.”

SeulGi smiles at Irene’s aunt while trying not to look as bitter about Irene’s answer.

“But JooHyun, you look more beautiful than I remembered!” Irene’s aunt politely bows to SeulGi before turning to Irene, “I’m sure a lot of boys are asking you out, huh? Come on, you can tell Auntie everything.” With her tone, SeulGi could tell that she was just teasing Irene. Like how all aunts and grandmas ask their nieces and grandchildren.

But what SeulGi could not tell is why she mentally scoffs and lightly shakes her head from the thought of all of Irene’s admirers back in Seoul alone.

“Oh, no, Auntie.” Irene softly laughs, “It’s just right.”

“No need to be timid about it, JooHyun,” Irene’s aunt smiles yet again.

Yeah. No need to be humble about it, school mate.

“Beauty runs in our blood.” And Irene’s aunt finishes it with that.

Irene only smiles at the comment as she bows her head for her aunt starts greeting their other relatives.

Irene sighs, and then throws a smile at SeulGi’s way, “Could you still keep up?”

SeulGi was looking down when Irene asks, so she has to force herself to turn to Irene’s direction and fake a smile, “Yeah.”

No need to question Irene’s label about their relationship when everything is already set clear, right?

---

SeulGi decides to have another punch to drown her feelings along with her drink.

“Damn, that was good.” SeulGi sighs the words. She somehow managed to convince Irene to let her off from the older girl’s grip and breathe in some air.

She sits at a nearby chair that was quite distant from the people flocking together. SeulGi closes her eyes to straighten her thoughts.

Why was she suddenly feeling these sick emotions again? So what if Irene doesn’t think of them as something more than school mates or guests or strangers? It has always been like that, so how is it any different from now?

Irene always, always made it clear that SeulGi means absolutely nothing to Irene. Why did SeulGi even hope for something more?

“I’m so stupid.” SeulGi shakes her head as she heaves another sigh.

“Why, hello there again, SeulGi.”

SeulGi’s meditation was cut short when he heard the familiar soothing voice of a man.

She turns to look at the person, “And hello there again, Henry.”

Henry smiles as he asks, “Is this seat taken?”

“No,” She shakes her head, and then returns the smile, “Unless you decide to?”

“But of course,” Henry sits beside SeulGi, “Who could resist you?”

SeulGi only giggles at his antics, and she hears him do the same.

Then she hears Henry ask, “Where’s my snotty cousin?”

SeulGi chokes a laugh from how Henry described Irene, “She’s somewhere out there.”

“Good!” He exhales, “Look, SeulGi. Don’t believe what Irene said about me. It’s not entirely true.”

“I know.” SeulGi leans her head on one of her hands for support, “She might be over reacting.”

“She is.” He weakly laughs, “I guess you somehow think I’m a jerk now, huh?”

“Hmmm,” SeulGi hums, “Maybe a little bit.”

Henry only smiles again, “It’s alright.” Then he motions with his thumb and index finger almost meeting, “I am… a little bit.”

It was SeulGi’s turn to laugh softly, “We all are in some sense, it’s alright. You’re alright.”

That was when SeulGi feels her heat skipping beats again, for Henry gives her a smile. A smile that was not asking to be laid, but a sweet, chaste smile.

And SeulGi was sure Henry was about to say something again, but was quickly cut off when they hear an angry,

“Haven’t I told you to stay away from her, Henry?!”

SeulGi and Henry haven’t fully turned around yet when Henry whispers, “And here’s my snotty cousin to ruin yet another of our moments together.” Which made SeulGi smile for no reason. Maybe calling Irene names was helpful in mending what she feels right now.

“And haven’t I told you to stay away from him, SeulGi?!” Irene stands in between them while prompting SeulGi to stand up.

“We were just having a chat, Irene.” SeulGi says weakly, not budging from where she was seated.

“I just turned around and I see you flirting with my asswipe of a cousin again.” Irene then turns to glare at Henry.

“Hey, no need to go that far.” Henry fakes a pained expression.

“Henry, stay away from SeulGi, alright?” Irene widens her eyes, but speaks more calmly now, “She’s not your typical…” SeulGi sees Irene look for the words to say, “… to play with, okay?”

Ouch.

“Whoa!” Henry finally stands up, “It’s okay with me for you to insult me, but to insult the girls I’ve been with is a different story.”

“You’ve played with.” Irene quickly corrects him, and SeulGi could just only watch in silence again as the cousins throw words at each other.

“I did not, Irene!” Henry flings his arms upward, “What even makes you think that?”

“I could name at least ten of the girls you’ve cheated and messed around with. Don’t make me, Henry.”

“I’m not trying on anything with SeulGi.” Henry sighs.

“Yeah, because I’m not allowing you to.” Irene finally pulls SeulGi up, “We’re going.”

SeulGi swears this has happened before already, with Henry clicking his tongue and with her being dragged away by Irene.

Leaving SeulGi more confused than ever.

---

“Haven’t I made myself clear that you should never go near Henry again?!” Irene almost shouts the words to SeulGi, “Didn’t I tell you to stay put, to stay with me and not go wandering off?! Haven’t I made myself clear that you should never let Henry go near you?!

“Haven’t I?!”

SeulGi’s mouth remained open as Irene throws angry words at her, “Why are you so worked out about it, Irene?”

SeulGi sees Irene twitch from her question, but then SeulGi continues, “We were just talking.”

“You were flirting!!”

“Even if we were, what is it to you?!” SeulGi surrenders, Irene is really complicated.

“I am saving your ! Henry is a goddamn player! Do you want to be treated like one of his girls?!”

“We weren’t doing anything, Irene!”

“I won’t wait for you to!”

SeulGi sighs exasperatedly, “You… You’re confusing!!”

She racks her head, “One moment you’d be pushing me away, then in another moment you’d be pulling me back! I don’t know what to feel anymore, Irene!”

Irene holds her head as she shake it, “What?! I’m the one confused here! What are you even saying?!”

What was SeulGi even saying?

SeulGi stops when Irene asks her, because she was afraid that any more word out of would accidentally spill the feelings she was not even sure herself.

“I…” SeulGi shakes her head low, as to shake any more thoughts off and just finish their pointless argument, “I’m sorry. I’m just tired and I, I really just want to sleep, okay? I’m sorry.”

SeulGi breathes sighs, “Let’s just continue this tomorrow. We’re both tired already.”

Irene’s eyebrows are still laced together, “Are you alright?”

No. SeulGi was not.

SeulGi hasn’t forgotten how low Irene thinks of the relationship they have and that makes her feel mad and furious and sad and disappointed all at the same time it tires SeulGi to the point that she doesn’t even want to think about it anymore.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” SeulGi lies, “Just go to your relatives and I’ll go upstairs. I can’t accompany you anymore, I’ll rest. Sorry.”

With that, SeulGi starts walking. Not waiting for Irene to respond anymore.

---

“Hey.”

SeulGi opens her eyes, she’s not sleeping. Not with all her thoughts, she won’t. Thoughts that bothered her in unreasonable senses and unexplainable reasons.

“Hm?” SeulGi hums, but she does not acknowledge the person she’s talking to. Not even a nod, nor a turn of the head.

“What happened there?”

SeulGi feels the side of her bed lower the moment weight has been set upon it. SeulGi asks, “What do you mean?”

Silence.

“… There.” Irene finally says, “What happened… to us?”

SeulGi doesn’t answer. She was too tired of this tug-o-war with Irene, this constant push and pull of feelings Irene imposes on her.

So SeulGi simply says, “I don’t know.”

SeulGi listens as the silence becomes louder than any sound. She only blinks and breathes waiting for a response to her passive answer.

When Irene doesn’t reply for more seconds did SeulGi only close her eyes again. This whole conversation was pointless, SeulGi convinces herself.

But then Irene continues to surprise SeulGi, because Irene suddenly says,

“I’m sorry.”

 SeulGi might have continued facing away from Irene but she can’t help but clutch her hand under the pillow, Irene really is confusing.

SeulGi doesn’t reply at once so she feels a light smack at her hip, “Hey, are you listening?”

Without Irene having to see it, SeulGi smiles, “Yeah, I am.”

“Then say something. I sound like a jerk talking to herself here.” Irene gives her another light slap.

“You are a jerk.” SeulGi’s smile gets wider and wider.

SeulGi tries to hide her smile when Irene decides to finally flip her so she’d be facing the brunette.

“Are you