Chapter 4

Lu Han and I were sitting across from each other in the café awkwardly. I haven’t seen him since Se Hun and I broke up and knowing how close the two were, I knew he was very shocked to see me since no one really knew I was back in Korea. I looked over at him and saw his fingers tapping on the table slowly, making me wonder if he was impatient because we’ve been sitting in silence for awhile now. I wanted to say something, but I honestly didn’t know what to say.

“How are you? Lu Han asked, breaking the silence between us.

“I-I’ve been good.” I accidentally stuttered. “And you?”

“Could be better, I guess?” Lu Han wasn’t the type to talk much so having this conversation with him was probably only going to last for a few more minutes and I was kind of hoping it’d end right now. “I mean, this is my café that I opened up.”

My eyes widened as I scoffed knowing what just happened. “Freaking Jung Ah tricked me into coming here…”

“Oh? You met up with Jung Ah?” The way he said this seemed more like ‘Oh? You came back and she was the only one who knew?’ But I guess I couldn’t really blame him for his tone…

I nodded my head slowly. “We had lunch and she told me to come here because she said that you guys had the best bubble tea, but I didn’t know that I’d run into you.”

Lu Han laughed and I found it adorable; I haven’t seen him laugh like this in so long and it was always rare to see a sight. It was no wonder he and Se Hun were the best of friends. “I’m glad she’s trying to promote us.”

I laughed along with Lu Han. I guess I had to give it to Jung Ah to lead me here, but she was going to die in my hands as soon as I see her again. She knew that by sending me here, things like this would happen and I’m sure she could care less about how uncomfortable I felt.

“What are you doing back here in Korea?” Lu Han asked suddenly.

“There are few things I came back for.” I pressed my lips together in a nervous manner.

“The wedding… Right...?” He quietly scoffed to himself, but I heard it clearly.

“Jung Ah must have told you all…” I felt even more uncomfortable now.

“Eh. I mean, word was going to get out either way, right?” He raised his eyebrows.

“I didn’t think it would like this…”

“Were you trying to keep it a secret?” He looked at me sternly, and I knew this look; he was disappointed in me.

“It’s not like I was going to keep it a secret from you guys.” I shook my head and let out a sigh. “I just didn’t know how to tell you guys or if you guys would even consider coming since I’m not marrying –“

“Do you not consider us friends anymore then?” Lu Han was always good at making people feel stupid about their self.

“W-what? It’s not like that at all…” I shook my hands out in front of me denying his words. “It’s not like the invitations are even out yet.”

It became quiet between the two of us again. I felt like it was my cue to get up and leave, thinking that it was over, but Lu Han spoke again, making me stay still in my seat.

 “Does he even know you’re back?” I knew this question was going to come out sooner or later, but the way Lu Han said this was somewhat a slap to my face because I suddenly felt all the blood drain from my body.

“It’s been five years…” I whispered more to myself than Lu Han.

“Yeah, five years and you’re not going to tell him that you’re back?” I knew Lu Han was more than upset with me and it made me wonder why I felt in the wrong when nothing was wrong at all. “Soo Jin –“

“We’re not together anymore!” I blurted out before lowering my head in embarrassment. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to say it like that...”

“And things still are the same, aren’t they?” Lu Han got up from the chair and shook his head. “You two left things without talking it out thoroughly and expect them to fade away by just running away?”

My fists clenched together as I tried to hold in the heated tears that were waiting to seep out of my eyes. Lu Han was right though. The way we ended things weren’t on a good note, but I didn’t think it was this bad. And I just couldn’t understand why this person was being thrown at me wherever I went. I just didn’t want to talk about him or even think about him and yet, here I was, talking and thinking about him.

I came here to get married, not to get reminded of what happened five years ago.

“I’m sorry, Soo Jin.” Lu Han suddenly said, surprising me. “I just… He’s my best friend.”

“I know.” I stood up from my chair and grabbed my bubble tea, thinking about how useful the straw could be to me at this very moment. “So I understand… But whatever happened between us five years ago, it’s nothing now.”

Lu Han watched me as I left the café. As soon as I was outside and far away enough, I finally cried. I didn’t care that people stared at me as I walked down the busy streets. I was upset and angered by Lu Han, who carelessly talked about this as if it’d be okay and that I’d be okay. I wasn’t okay, even though I didn’t want to admit it. I just wanted to pretend to be okay. I should be happy – happy because I was getting married…

**

I trudged all the way back home because all that was on my mind was the person who shouldn’t have been on my mind. I felt exhausted and tired even though I had only been gone for a few hours, which felt like years. I walked into my house and closed the door behind me before leaning against it to take a deep breath, as if I’ve been running away.

“Oh? You’re home early!” My mother was sitting in the kitchen reading a magazine. “How was lunch with Jung Ah?”

“It was a good.” I said letting out a sigh. “Did you stay home all day today?”

“No, I went to work, but I have an hour break so I decided to come back and eat here.” She raised her eyebrows at me. “What’s wrong? You look tired.”

Tired was always the best way to describe someone who was… Tired…

“I am. I’m going to take a nap.” I replied before I went up the stairs to my room.

As I closed the door behind me, I slid down to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees before burying my face into them.

It was weird because out of all the days I’ve been with him… I really, really missed Jin Hyuk.

**

I ended up taking a nap even though I didn’t think I would. I woke up to the feeling of my bed weighing down beside me. I slowly turned around and saw Jin Hyuk cuddling up next to me with a smile on his face. He still had his suit on, but his tie was loose around his neck and the first few buttons were ed, showing a little bit of his bare chest.

I was just about to say something to him, but he kissed me before I could. I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. It was kind of upsetting that it felt as if we haven’t seen each other all day other than this morning. I missed him and having him so close to me made me not want to let go of him.

“I’ve missed you.” He whispered as he backed away so he could get a better look at me. “How was your lunch date with Jung Ah?”

“It went well.” I lied a little only because it didn’t go as well as I hoped it would have. “How was work? Did you get anything?”

“No, I just went through a few documents with them and we’ll set up another meeting as soon as we can.” He groaned. I knew he was a little disappointed because that meant that the process was going to take longer than he wanted. “There’s also a wedding I have to take care of…” He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “My fiancé can’t be stressed out without me, can she?”

“You’ll get the negotiations and you’ll get a wife who will be happily married to her husband.” I brushed his cheek with my thumb, feeling the soft surface against my skin. “Besides,” I sighed. “I have Jung Ah, who will be there for me through everything, so you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’m glad that you’re always so positive, Soo Jin.” He chuckled.

Right… Always so positive…

“I try to be.” I said honestly before turning to lie on my back. “Where are my parents?”

“They’re making dinner down stairs and told me to come get you.”

I nodded my head before sitting up. “Let’s go down and help them.”

“Sure. That’d be fun.” Jin Hyuk got off the bed and held his hand out for me to grab.

**

I barely picked at my food during dinner, but the conversations that happened between my parents and Jin Hyuk seemed to go well. I listened, but I wasn’t interested enough to understand what they were even trying to say and when dinner was just about to end, Jin Hyuk ended up getting a call, which he took by going to his room and closing the door. My parents weren’t bothered and neither was I, but I felt like I wasn’t going to even see him because his business was going to take the whole night to talk about.

“Where are you going?” My mother asked as she watched me put my jacket on.

“Myeongdong.” I replied as I grabbed my purse and key on the counter.

“What? At this time?” My father popped his head out from the kitchen and stared at me with a questioning expression. “Why?”

“It’s just been a long day.” I yawned.

“What’s wrong, Soo Jin?” My mother walked over to me and felt my forehead. “Did something happen? You’ve been like this since you’ve gotten home and even during dinner, you barely ate anything.”

“No, nothing’s wrong. I’m just starting to realize that the stress will come next week when I have to plan out everything for the wedding.” I forced a smile, only to feel my chest squeeze. “I’ll come back home in a few hours.”

I quickly ran out of the house and got into a taxi, telling the driver to take me to Myeongdong, where I went frequently when I was in high school to release stress.

**

Fish cakes were always my favorite street food, especially whenever I was in Myeongdong. I found a bench to sit at and ate there quietly as I read text messages from Jung Ah, telling me that she wanted to meet up with me in a few days so we could grab something to eat and maybe go out for a drink or two. I was actually quite excited and I had to remind myself to kill her because she tricked me into going to Lu Han’s café.

After I finished eating, I threw it away into the nearest trash can and was just about to go shop since I haven’t done so in awhile, but I was stopped by rain. I didn’t care to block myself from the rain, as my outfit was cheap as hell and my bag wasn’t even designer brand. I looked at my phone for the time, figuring out if it’d be best to just go home, or to find shelter and wait till the rain would stop. Everyone else around me ran off to either get a taxi, get on the bus, or ran for shelter.

I made my way to the street and waited till the lights to let us know that it was okay to cross, but it seemed to be taking forever. There was a café on the other side and I wanted to keep dry and drink something warm since it was kind of cold out.

As I waited, I held my hands in my pockets and rocked back and forth to keep warm. The lights quickly after a few seconds of mumbling to myself about how long it was going to take and I almost ran for it, but I stopped as soon as I a figure with an umbrella walking towards me caught my attention. The umbrella slowly lifted, as if they were filming a movie in the rain, and as soon as the face revealed itself, everything in my mind seemed to go blank.

This was not happening… It was just impossible…

My heart froze in place and stopped beating as soon as our eyes met. I couldn’t believe who was standing there before me, smoking a cigarette so casually under a black umbrella and was wearing a nice fitted suit that made him look even more handsome than he already was when it was raining. He looked so different. I remembered his blonde hair that used to make my heart sway no matter how messy it looked, or the way his eyes looked into mine showing how much he loved me, or the way he half-smiled at me, making the butterflies go crazy inside my tummy.

From the moment our eyes met, I realized that maybe those feelings weren’t gone just because the color of his hair changed into a dark, colored brown. Who would have thought that he was the same person throughout these past five years?

“It’s been awhile.” Hearing his voice again made my legs go weak. I felt them shaking under me and I didn’t know when they were going to give up on me. “Idiot…”

Who knew those familiar words would make my heart at ease? He let out some smoke that he took in a few seconds ago and threw the cigarette onto the ground before putting his hand into his trouser pockets. The blood in my veins were rushing everywhere, making it hard for me to breathe. Maybe I was surprised or maybe that feeling inside of me was because after all these years, I was only a few yards from the one whom I first fell in love with, making the distance between us seem even more than it seemed.

I felt as if I was in a daze seeing him there on the street. It felt surreal and dream-like.

“Stupid…” I whispered, but I knew he heard me because he scoffed before smiling at me, making the unknown tears in my eyes stream down my cold, pale cheeks.

I was glad that my tears weren’t visible because of the rain but before I could even wipe them away, he held the umbrella over my head, making the distance between us close in.

“You’re an idiot, Ahn Soo Jin.” He scoffed with his signature eye roll. “Are you trying to get yourself sick?”

And right then, I knew that things weren’t going to be okay and this wasn’t a dream or even a movie being filmed... 

Author's Note: After four chapters, our Sehun finally makes an appearance! Hehe^^ I've read all my comments from the story and I want to thank every single one of you for doing so and it's okay if you didn't comment either, but!!! I just wanted to say, I took the ANGST tag out. I didn't know it was that big of a deal. I read so many comments that said they were either scared or kind of upset that I would put that tag in... So I decided to take it out and put in 'comedy' since My Gangster is originally comedy anyway. Other than that, I also want to thank everyone who subscribed and upvoted. I was literally at 14 upvotes and 100 subscribers and now I have over 100 upvotes and 1200+ subscribers. Thank you for the love, everyone!!! Anyway, happy readings~ And I love you, Tao.