Chapter 22

Jin Hyuk and I went to a nearby park and sat on a bench together quietly. We sat like that for what felt like the longest five minutes of my life. He was probably wondering why I had cried earlier or why I was with Lu Han. I guess both would fit into the questions he was thinking about. I turned my head a little so I could get a small peek at him from the corner of my eyes. He was looking away from me, surprisingly. His fingers were fiddling together in the cold as his legs consistently moved up and down impatiently.

I took a deep breath before turned my attention fully to him. He seemed to have noticed as he stopped moving his legs and relaxed his fingers. Jin Hyuk the bottom of his lip before he turned his face toward me, giving me a warm half-smile that I have seemed to have forgotten. He still looked as handsome and innocent as ever, like the first day I met him. I reached towards him, grabbing his hand and hold it into my cold ones.

“Jin Hyuk, I –”

“No, Soo Jin, please, let me talk.” He said, cutting me off abruptly.

“What?” I asked, my voice softening.

“I know I haven’t given you the attention since we’ve gotten to Korea and I haven’t been there for you emotionally or physically, especially through this whole wedding process, but I just wanted to apologize.” Jin Hyuk said this so quickly, I was afraid he was going to be out of breath soon. “But I want you to know that I haven’t forgotten about you, the wedding, or us. I know I’m busy thinking about work and constantly going to meetings here, which I was not going to do when I got here, but I got so tangled up in it.”

I knew. I understood.

“But I realized every time I saw you talking with your friends or crying, I felt envious of them because while they were comforting you and listening to you, I wasn’t. I was at meetings thinking about how I could make it up to you and the second I had an idea, I realized I couldn’t find a time for us, but look at how stupid I sound…” He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. “I’m not supposed to find time for you, Soo Jin. I’m supposed to make time for you. You come before my job. You come before any other person in the world. I’m supposed to make you feel special and wanted, but what am I doing to you? You have been nothing but patient and lenient towards me.”

I pressed my lips together and smiled.

“And I don’t deserve that at all. I should be giving you more of my time and because of this, I’m done with the meetings and talks about expanding the company. You are more important to me than some deal that I could later take on in the future. Right now, I need to focus on you and us.” Jin Hyuk leaend in and pressed his shivering lips against mine, taking me in as if it was going to be his last chance. “I love you so much, Soo Jin, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you were forgotten.”

“What are you doing, Jin Hyuk?” I asked chuckling. “Are you saying your vows already?”

Jin Hyuk laughed with me, holding the back of my head as he kissed me once more. “Maybe I am and maybe I should put that into my vows because I didn’t know what to write.”

I playfully nudged him. “How could you not know what to write?”

“I’ve been so busy…” He scrunched his face cutely before pressing his forehead against mine. “But that doesn’t matter anymore. My focus is now on you and our wedding coming up sooner than ever.”

I forgot that there was only a few months left.

**

As I woke up and sat on my bed, I looked outside and saw how beautiful it was. It was near the end of fall, but the sun was bright and the sky was clear. If only my life could have been like that right now, I would do anything just to feel like that way. I took a deep breath and looked down at my fiddling fingers. My life was nothing like that clear sky outside nor was it shining brightly like that damn sun.

“Soo Jin, honey?!” The door slammed opened, making me jump out of my bed without even trying. My mother covered with the tips of her fingers, as if she purposely did this to scare me, but she wasn’t sorry. “Oops?”

“What do you want?” I asked as I tied my hair up in a ponytail, annoyed. It was like she didn’t care that I was this old and yet, she was still barging into my room.

“Why is your face so puffy?” She raised an eyebrow as she took a step into my room. “Did something happen? Were you crying?”

I shook my head before heading towards the bathroom. “I must have slept wrong.”

“Where are you heading off to today?” She asked as she waited by my door. “We should go shopping together. You know? A mother and daughter bonding time?”

“You never want to do that.” I said as I narrowed my eyes when I stopped in front of the bathroom to look back at her. “What did Jin Hyuk tell you? Actually, no…” I shook my head. “What did Se Hun tell you?”

“What are you talking about? Se Hun?” She questioned. “Did something happen between the two of you that I don’t know about?”

I scoffed. “Don’t pretending like you don’t know.”

“Soo Jin, I –”

I shut the bathroom door behind me and locked it, hoping that she would get the signal. I ran my hands under the cold water and splashed my face with it before looking at myself in the mirror. Was my face really puffy or was she just saying this to get my attention? Maybe she knew. There’s no surprise there if she did.

**

I was supposed to meet up with Kang Hee today, but I felt exhausted and wanted to be alone. I thought about going to Lu Han and Xiu Min’s café, but I knew I’d probably run into Se Hun and I really didn’t want that to happen, at least not after what had happened yesterday. Then I got to thinking, he’d probably wouldn’t go to Jae Hyun’s restaurant, right? I guess it didn’t matter anyway because I was already standing in front of the building.

As I walked in, I realized I didn’t even see Jin Hyuk this morning. He didn’t text me or even let my parents know where he had gone, but we all assumed he probably had another meeting. I shouldn’t be bothered by it even after he said he’d give me more of his time, but maybe he had to start wrapping things up before he would be able to. Was I asking too much of his time? I hope I wasn’t, but I mean, this was our wedding and I needed a bit of his input.

“Oof!” I heard someone say as soon as I ran into them without watching where I was going. “Goodness, watch where you’re going.”

I looked up and saw Kai looking down at me with an irritated expression. “Oh, my bad, Kai. I didn’t see you there.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” He rolled his eyes before smirking at me playfully. “What are you doing here? Did you get lost on your way to somewhere else?”

“No,” I rolled my eyes at him this time. “What? I can’t come and eat lunch here?”

“By yourself?” He cocked an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Oh wait, seems like you’ve always been by yourself – OUCH!”

Baek Hyun came up behind Kai and had hit him on the back of his head before squeezing the nape of his neck roughly. “Shut your damn mouth, you adolescent.”

“I’m not a ing child, Baek Hyun!” Kai spat back before pushing Baek Hyun off of him. “What the hell was that for?”

“You talk way too much and you don’t know when to shut your mouth.” Baek Hyun rolled his eyes before looking over at me with a warm smile. “Hungry?”

“Thanks…” I mouthed before nodding my head.

“Lunch is on us… Actually, it’s on Kai!” Baek Hyun wrapped his arm around me before pulling me towards the dining area.

“What the hell? On me?!” Kai cried like a child as he followed behind us.

**

Baek Hyun brought out a small bowl of salad for an appetizer and then a lemon zest salmon with garlic potatoes for the entrée. I was drooling even before I could take a bite of it. I reached for the fork and was about to dig into it, but I felt someone grab my arm before I could get the fork to even touch the salmon that was calling my name vigorously.

“Slow down, Ahn Soo Jin.” I looked up to see Choi Jae Hyun standing there with that nasty, signature smirk of his, which somewhat made me feel at home. “The food’s not going anywhere.”

“Shut up.” I said as I placed the fork down.

“Looks like I’ll leave the two of you alone.” Baek Hyun waved at us cutely before he left us alone.

Jae Hyun took the seat across from me, not even asking if it’d be okay, but it was his restaurant anyway. It’s not like I could have told him off.

“What are you doing here?” Jae Hyun asked as he crossed his legs and leaned back in his chair cockily. It reminded me of those moments in a drama where someone up higher than you would stare at you like you were homeless or that they knew they were richer than you were, which Jae Hyun probably was. “You’re obviously not here to meet anyone.”

I suddenly lost my appetite and narrowed my eyes at him after rolling them. “Did someone say something to you?”

“What do you mean?” He asked in an annoying tone. He knew what I meant, which made me want to jump across the table and choke him. “I was just assuming since you’re eating already.”

“You know…” I whispered under my breath as I turned away from him and looked out the window of the building, watching as people ran around the street. “I know you know. You always know.”

Jae Hyun leaned forward, resting his elbows onto the table as he interlocked his fingers together. He looked at me with softened eyes, eyes that seemed to have pity me and I hated it.

“Don’t look at me like that.” I muttered turning back towards him.

“Jung Ah told me.” He finally said after a minute of silence. “I didn’t know if I should have brought it up at this moment, but you know me. I can’t keep my mouth shut.”

“It feels like a lot of you can’t – wait.” I scoffed dramatically. “You knew about Se Hun and his so-called child!”

Jae Hyun pursed his lips as if he knew he’d been caught. “Soo Jin, I –”

“I’m starting to realize what a big idiot I really am…” I buried my face into my hands.

“Really…” Jae Hyun said sarcastically.

“Shut it!” I looked back at him with a pout. “How could you guys make me look and feel so stupid? Especially in front of Se Hun…?”

“Soo Jin, look, I didn’t want to keep it from you and before you retort to my answer, please hear me out. I’m being honest, okay? I really didn’t want to make you think he had a child.” Jae Hyun looked serious, so I decided not to interrupt him. “When I found out your reaction to the whole situation, Jung Ah told me not to say anything because it showed that you… That you…” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, the way you reacted, it showed that your feelings were still there.”

“I FREAKING THOUGHT THE GOT DAMN GUY CHEATED ON ME AND HAD A CHILD, JAE HYUN, YOU STUPID CHILD!!!” I retorted, throwing my hands in the air before slowly putting them down, realizing how stupid I looked. “How the hell am I supposed to react? Was I supposed to think that it had no affect at all on me?”

“Calm down, Soo Jin… Geez…” His eyes widened at me. “I’m just saying, you obviously still care –”

“HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU FREAKING FEEL IF YOU HAD TO LIVE THE NEXT FIVE YEARS OF YOUR LIFE WONDERING WHY THE HELL SOMEONE YOU LOVED DECIDED TO BREAK UP WITH YOU AND GAVE YOU NO ANSWER UNTIL YESTERDAY?! HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU FEEL, FREAKING CHOI JAE HYUN!!!” I slammed the table with my hands and felt tears on the rim of my eyes. I was always crying, but this was out of frustration. “I feel like you all don’t understand what the hell I’m going through, okay? I had to pretend and assume all these scenes in my head, wondering why he broke up with me. Did he cheat on me? Did he lose interest in me? Was he sick of me? Did I do something wrong? That’s all I ever thought about and it . I cried almost every night and when I finally met Jin Hyuk, I had to find reasons to look past it and sometimes, I couldn’t even do it.”

Jae Hyun pressed his lips together and lowered his head.

“You guys all think I’m just being ignorant towards his feelings, but I felt like it was me who was being treated unfairly. How could you all think that this was my fault or put it on me? I think you all forgot that it was Se Hun who broke up with me, not me breaking up with him.” I stood up from the chair and tried to take a deep breath but I choked a little.  

“But you never even came back! You never came back and asked why he broke up with you. The minute he told you that it was over, you didn’t question it not once to his face. You packed your bags and left without a word.” Jae Hyun shook his head slowly and gave me a stare that looked like he wasn’t trying to hurt me. “Do you see how this looks? You made it seem like you didn’t care either… As if you no longer wanted to try anymore and it was all so confusing… The breakup… The move… Everything… If you were confused, imagine how we all felt. We didn’t know what to do either.”

 “Why is everyone turning their backs on me when they should be lending me their shoulders instead?” I asked crying even more.

“Soo Jin, wait.” Jae Hyun grabbed my wrist before I could even walk away from him. He pulled me back and squeezed me lightly. “I’m sorry, okay? You didn’t even really hear me out. I thought it was wrong to let you think that way. I wanted Se Hun to tell you the truth, but he was right. You would have stayed and wouldn’t have gone to Canada to get your degree. That’s just how it had to be.” He let go, finally realizing it was kind of uncomfortable for the both of us to even have a little bit of skinship. “But do you know how hard it was for Se Hun to make a decision such as this? He loved you and he didn’t want to do it, but it was for your sake and even though he’s happy to see that you’ve succeeded, the fact that you’ve moved on… It was part of the consequence and now he can’t do anything about it. And all those five years he wished he could have kept you in the process… You have no idea how hard it was for him.”

“You’re right, Jae Hyun. It’s cos’ I was being too selfish and was only thinking about myself…” I shook my head slowly before trying to walk out of the restaurant, only to see the last person I’ve wanted to see all day.

“Soo Jin…”

Author's Note:  Thank you for not giving up on me and the sequel, even if it's not the way you guys want it to go. I really appreciate it. By the way though, who's planning to  go see EXO during their America tour?