a letter to my chingus  

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HEY ALL~ I ASK YOU TO PLEASE PARDON ME FOR ANY ERRORS THE TEXT BELOW MIGHT CONTAIN. I'M FEELING VERY EMOTIONAL ATM AND I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL BE ABLE TO GET THE WORDS OUT ALRIGHT. OTL

FIRST OF ALL:

GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, I MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I CAN MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THAT IS~ I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO EXPRESS IT WELL 'CUZ TBQH I MISS YOU SO MUCH THAT WORDS DON'T EVEN SEEM RIGHT TO MEASURE IT, BUT I HOPE THAT MY WORDS WILL GET TO YOU. AND BEFORE I GET TO THE LONG STORY I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING TO THE THREE OF THE MOST AMAZING PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET.

~ TO MY BEST HALF, MY TWIN ( HYERI/SEULGI ) ~ i miss you so incredible much that i don't even know how to start saying how sorry i'm to you... the last thing i wanted was to leave you alone again but my life is such a mess that sometimes i feel like i'm the main lead of a bad drama~ ;w; i don't know if i've ever told you this but your friendship was the best thing that i've ever come across on the internet world, and i'm very thankful to have found you here. i mean when i say you are truly like a dongsaeng to me~ i care for you a lot and i wish you only happiness in your life, so when i think i probably made you sad by disappearing and staying out of contact for so long it really breaks my heart. i hope you'll read this message and come here to be a dork with me 'cuz i don't know how to roleplay or simply be on aff without you anymore, you are my best half in this website and i really need you by my side asap. i love you, twin.

~ TO THE KIMPABO WHO MADE MY HEART FLUTTER ( JONGIN ) ~ i don't know what happened to you and i have no idea if you'll ever get to read this message but i hope you are doing fine & that you are happy wherever you are. you made my roleplay days on euphony and continuum so much fun and so full of love that i'll aways have a place for you in my heart. it doesn't matter how long we stay out of contact, i'll always care for you and wish you all the best. so if you ever get to read this message, i wanted to tell you thank you for everything. i will never forget or cheesy ( & giant ) convos. i will always love you, kimpabo.

~ TO THE BEST NAMJA I'VE EVER MET ( JONGDAE ) ~ till this day i still don't know how could our friendship grow like it did. in a moment we didn't even talk more than the usual stuff and on the next one you were the one who had my back whenever i needed. i don't know how many times i ran to you to blurt my feelings out and seek for solutions to my problems and you were always there for me, patiently listening and comforting me with your words and care. i don't know if i've ever told you this, as it is such i big thing and our friendship was such a crazy one, but i loved you a lot, y'know? and even if we never get a chance to cross each others paths again i'll always miss you very much. you were the best & i'll never forget you. update (mar 09): someone just sent a link of this message you wrote for me, i'm crying here! please show up~ i miss you so much and i want to reunite with you so badly too! ;w; i'm here now so find me asap, you derp!!!!!!!!

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now i guess i'll start from the start~ & i'll tell everything that happened and made me stay away this long.

the source of my internet issues that time ended up being computer issues & my computer's problem couldn't be fixed, so i didn't have a choice other than buy a new one. it could have been a simple purchase but as i need a specific kind of computer for my classes and it isn't a very cheap one, i had to wait a bit to spare the money for the new one, and so i thought "alright, i will just wait and be back really  quickly"~ what i didn't expect was to get sick out of stress in the mean time...

as some of you already knew, ooc i had classes basically all day long and my routine was pretty much packed. together with my grandmother's illness and helping around the house i had pretty much no time to rest but i thought i did okay on dealing with everything, i thought i was already used to it and that such a tight schedule was ok. BUT it seems that my body disagreed with me, i guess being without a computer and having to rush to do my works during class made my stress level get higher and my body couldn't handle it, so it had some unpleasant ways to show me and one of them was by giving me a severe photophobia that wouldn't allow me to stay close to any computer and other light sources for some time, so even when my new computer finally arrived it took me quite a while to be able to use it.

as soon as i fully recovered and the doctor gave me an ok to use the computer normally i tried to log in here but i couldn't remember the passwords of most of my accounts, including both my girls_day_yura and my dorkyura account... so that got me quite depressed and i almost gave up on coming back here again for good ( some of you already knew this as well, but to inform those who didn't~ i suffer from a light form of depression and altough i'm ok most of the time, sometimes it knocks me down ).

BUT you know me~ i just couldn't give up on trying to come back to you guys, y'know? i will always care for all of you and even after so long without being able to show up i miss you all way too much & 'cuz of that i made this account and wrote this lame text that i'm hoping will reach some of you and will bring you back so that i can nag you with my dorkiness. ㅋㅋ  ♡

altough hyeri/seulgi and jongin & jongdae are the ones i obviously miss the most, as they were ones closest to me, i miss all of my friends from both my continuum and uprising days. and i even miss the few friends who left and never came back right after euphony, the first place who brough all of us together, was deleted~ i just won't name everyone 'cuz it's too many people and i don't want to forget anyone in the spur of the moment and hurt someone's feelings~ ;w; so, i don't know who still remembers me nowadays, but i'm sure i remember most of you~ i miss you all & i miss the days we were all together. those were the happiest days of my whole roleplayer life and you guys were the ones who made it happen, so thank you for the wonderful memories. i'll always remember your friendships even if we never have a chance to meet again. you guys were the most amazing dorks of all. ♡

and about me roleplaying again, idk... i guess it depends of hyeri/seulgi and everyone else this text might find. i don't know if you guys are roleplaying somewhere out there or if you at least feel like roleplaying again and would like us to open another roleplay for everyone. i'm up to anything you guys are, so i'd like you to come here and talk to me so we can find a way to be close again. ♡

and i don't know if i've said everything i meant to say but rn i don't know what to say anymore, so i'll finish this here~ i just hope that some of you will stop and read this letter and find me again 'cuz i miss you all very very very very very very very very very very very much. < / 3

update (mar 16): i've been feeling so lonely these days that i've decided to join one of the currently active roleplays in aff in order to try to not feel so down without all of you here with me... so i'm now at benevolence as mminah~ although yura is my main and most beloved bias i don't think i'll ever be able to be her again without my friends by my side. so yura will only be back together with you, chingus~ whenever you finally show up again and find me. ;w;

update (mar 26: so after i found hayoung she asked me if we ( me + seulgi/hyeri ) would be opening a new rp and even though we weren't going to at first, as we really missed roleplaying with her and the main admin of the place we were in disappeared, we decided to start a new place! & that's how alternative was born. oh, and i'm le there, btw. c: if any of you guys find this message please join us there! we are waiting for you~♡

with love,
yours truly,
the dork-y yura who misses you