Length: 18.2k

Rating: PG-13

Genre: fluff

Summary: Jongin is straight. But when he got a creepy stalker sending him notes and taking away his valuable things, he got Kyungsoo –his new friend-  to be his fake boyfriend.

 

 

 

The sun is up high, bathing everything with its warmth while its rays align the sky with a glowing warm yellow light. Clouds are formed in different shapes, fluffy white clouds scattered above while birds soar up high, free as they go on that day.

Cheerful laughter, boisterous chatters, ball being kicked, shouting, bullying, lectures, detention, goofing around are just the few usual scenes you will find in a school. Teachers often say that school is the kids' second home as they stay there for hours besides from the comfort of their houses. Seoul Academy is one of the prestigious schools in South Korea where known and successful people mostly graduated from.

Students are here and there, either they are attending classes either not at all or having breaks in between. It's almost lunch time where students are most likely praying to the time God to move the hands of the clock quick so their teachers would soon leave and let them file out of their classrooms to take a breather from the droning voices of their teachers giving them boring academic lectures.

But one out of the probably nine hundred high school students attending the academy, Kim Jongin, Seoul Academy's Yellow Tigers basketball team captain, is not doing any of them. Jongin is popular from girls and boys in different levels. Everyone admires him mostly because of his blessed body stature and gorgeous face. He has a glowing tanned skin when the sun strikes his frame and he is a tall lean male with plush lips and sharp jaw, expressive eyes and taut muscles. Moreover, he's a pro when playing basketball and any kind of sports. He's a dancer too, a secret talent that made everyone's eyes sparkles in awe and had their jaws drop open from how passionate he is when dancing. His face would contort in many expressions as his fluid body moves in motion with the music. He exudes of charisma and pheromones causing many girls and some boys to gravitate around him.

With a close inspection, beads of water roll down his built muscles down to his navel and soaks through the towel draped around his torso. Years of dancing and playing basketball gave him a large contribution to have that kind of buff body most guys desire and most girls want for their future lovers to have. His drenched unruly hair sticks on his forehead, but he later on shakes his head in attempt to shake off the droplets of water pelting on his body. He steps out of the misty shower cubicle with a towel on hand before throwing it on his head to dry off his hair. Sprays of water meet the air while his cold feet pad over the drenched white tiles of the men's shower room. Some are still not done showering as their voices echo in the spacious room while talking with the other guy just beside theirs. There comes laughter as well, but they are just a buzz to Jongin's ears as he takes a step to their locker room.

He strides to his locker, flicks the number combinations to open it and as he does, with dried hands, he slides out his duffle bag and opens it there to get his underwear and uniform so he could attend half of his class that day after their game with the north school which made them win to enter the preliminaries.

"Still gonna attend History class?" A deep voice of a male greets him without a warning and he flinches. His hand reflexively lands on his chest to heave a sigh of relief.

"You scared me." he throws the taller boy a look of dismay, frowning.

The boy inches taller than him cackles, "Sorry dude. I didn't mean to scare you but your expression was priceless!"

Jongin averts his eyes from his friend to fish out his clean clothes from his duffel bag.

"I'll go to class after. I already missed two consecutive lectures and I don't plan to miss another one." he tells, eyes narrowing and hands digging inside his bag intently when suddenly, he doesn't see his Calvin Klein treasured black underwear.

!

"Have you seen my underwear Chanyeol?" His brows are pulled together and his voice drips with fear like the usual when he loses something, though he knows to himself that he hardly loses something. He wouldn't even miss a cent anywhere because everything he owns is very valuable for him. If asked what trait he has that he's proud of it will be he's careful with his things. He might look like an irresponsible student who would not have an inkling to keep things properly, but he does and that's the trait Chanyeol mostly admires about him, because he's the opposite who often loses something either it may be money or IPhone.

"How would I even know? Maybe it's in the small pocket of your bag?" Chanyeol, the lanky male, point guard shooter of Yellow Tigers basketball team, supposes.

"It's not here I swear!" Jongin is beyond angry now.

It becomes clear to Chanyeol when his assumption that turns to a conclusion crosses his mind. It's the only definite reason he could think of. They could think of. "!" Chanyeol cusses bluntly.

Sighing and can't do nothing, Jongin says, "I know right? She got it again."

Obviously.

Jongin is counting and it has been two months and four days since he stepped in sophomore college when his days became abnormal, eventful in a way that he finds it creepy and very disturbing. It's like as if a psycho is trailing behind him every single day.

When he was in his first year in high school, his life is as normal as it should be. He got new friends, he was introduced to different organizations and clubs, yet he ended up joining the school's basketball team. But as years whirled by and he got the position as the new basketball team captain, his popularity among students has increased, particularly the number of his admirers and suitors, but what freaks him out the most was when he discovered he has a stalker.

"This isn't funny anymore Jongin. You should report this to the police already." Chanyeol suggests and he s Jongin his spare underwear that he owns which Jongin accepts though he doesn't like borrowing personal things from his friends, particularly underwear. "Don't worry it is bacteria and smell-free."

"As if I have a choice."  Jongin has no choice, but to use Chanyeol's underwear for the meantime.

 

 

~*~

 

 

The cafeteria is rowdy and filled of students lining up for food, some are on their seats, eating while chatting with their friends, some are goofing around and laughing raucously and some are quietly reading books, highlighting texts, busy with their own businesses.

Just a few tables from the entrance door, settles a group of boys busily munching their food when a cheerful voice interrupts their peace and suddenly speaks haughtily, causing the boys in the table turn to him, blinking and waiting for him to finish speaking.

"Hi guys! Meet Do Kyungsoo, President of the Writer's Guild Organization. He's the one I'm telling you who could write like Lang Leav, Pablo Neruda--" Baekhyun trails off,  not amused that he was cut off when he's explaining the most vital information he was about to share to his group of friends.

"So it's you! Welcome to our group!" Luhan grins widely at Kyungsoo while holding his can of Coca-Cola. "Baekhyun mentions you a lot to us. It's a pleasure to meet you finally, same with you all guys right?" He peers to his friends through his fringe and everyone in the table nods and gives Kyungsoo a welcoming smile. Baekhyun pulls Kyungsoo closer to him with his arm snaking around the smaller boy's shoulders. Baekhyun is one inch taller than Kyungsoo.

"I told you Kyungsoo, they're really hyper, always on high as if they smoke weed but don't worry they don't. Anyway, this is Chanyeol, Jongdae, Luhan, Minseok, Sehun and--" his forehead wrinkles from not seeing the other guy. The group isn't complete. "--where's Jongin?" he inquires while the boys started eating casually again.

"Maybe someone stole his underwear again?" Sehun suggests, dipping his fry on the tomato sauce and eats it. His face is stoic and kind of annoying at some times.

The others didn't utter a word about it and Baekhyun rubs his forehead to ease his impending headache. Kyungsoo is intrigued because the group becomes silent when Sehun says something about an underwear thief. So there are still people who have guts to do that shameless thing huh?

Another sigh leaves Baekhyun's lips. "Since Jongin isn't here yet, he's the one I'm telling you who has a stalker. Poor guy really, sometimes I pity him, but it's his fault for making suggestive expressions when he dances and for being handsome ."

"Who is handsome hyung?" Someone asks behind and as Baekhyun twirls on his heel, retracting away from Kyungsoo, he meets Jongin's tired smile and sighs for the umpteenth time.

"No one." Baekhyun fakely grins.

"What did I miss here?" he also casts a fleeting glance at Kyungsoo's shy stance and smiles a little.

"Speaking of the steaming hot basketball player slash dancer--"

"Chanyeol I'm not a dancer!" Jongin argues, throwing a hatred look to Chanyeol who just smiles undeterred and eats his bento box courtesy of his loving mother.

"Well it's true, you dance like a star on stage," Baekhyun raises a finger to stop Jongin from rebutting because he's not in the mood to argue if Jongin really dances like a strip dancer or not, but still Baekhyun would stick to option one. "Jongin, meet Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo meet Jongin."

Shyly, Kyungsoo bows a little and smiles bashfully. "Nice to meet you Jongin-ssi."

"The writer right?" They quickly shake hands, but their skin lingers. They are the only one who shakes hands in the group. "Nice to meet you. Baekhyun talks about you all the time." Jongin nods firmly, but his smile doesn't reach his eyes. How could he smile when someone ing stole his favorite cap this time? Yesterday it's his underwear and now this? His mom even bought it for his birthday that year, now it's gone.

"Baekhyun talks about all of you too. Team captain of Yellow Tigers and dancer right?" Kyungsoo now remembers this guy. Kim Jongin. Of course who wouldn't know the talented and god Kim Jongin? Even if Kyungsoo would always coop up in the library or in their clubroom, that Kim Jongin will always ring a bell to him. He's like some superstar in their school anyway.

"That's me." Jongin gives him a friendly grin and Kyungsoo couldn't help but rub his nape sheepishly.

"So Jongin, do you have underwear right now?" Jongdae snickers. It meant to be an inside joke and everyone is laughing, but Jongin looks down on his feet sadly.

Jongin sighs exasperatedly, rubbing his temple. "She got my cap."

"The one your mom gave to you before she died?" Minseok hollers incredulously.

"Yeah."

Kyungsoo couldn't help, but give Jongin a pitiful look. Everyone sighs. How could they stop this? How could they help Jongin?

But for now, Kyungsoo-the new addition to the group is what they entertained for now.

 

 

~*~

 

 

"Chanyeol, did you see my handkerchief?"

"It's just on your desk earlier right?"

Jongin could only sigh.

 

 

~*~

 

 

“Sehun, did you borrow my Pororo character pen?”

“I think I already know what happened.”

Sigh. “Oh damn.”

 

 

~*~

 

 

It during dismissal time and Jongin has to research something about the minor Greek gods and goddesses in the library. Luckily, he has no basketball practice that day and he’s very adamant in finishing his research so for the next day, he can practice without minding any academic related stuff. Moreover, his stalker hasn’t taken some of his things yet. He stopped bringing handkerchiefs, towels, cute ballpens or caps anymore, wary that she will take them away from him again and he’s tired of this. He only wants a normal life in school, is that too much to ask for?

Just as he stepped inside, the familiar mop of jet black hair is the first thing he notices along with those plush red lips and huge set of eyes moving from left to write on the texts he’s obviously reading. Jongin strides to his direction, staying behind as he takes a peek on the sentences printed on paper.

“I just want you to know,' said the girl, coldly, 'that whoever you are and whatever you intend with me, I shall give you no aid of any kind, nor shall I assist you, and I shall do whatever is in my power to frustrate your plans and devices.' And then she added, with feeling, 'Idiot.”

Stardust, Neil Gaiman

"Hey," Jongin calls, pulling a chair right beside Kyungsoo before sitting on it.

"Hey," Kyungsoo greets back, finally noticing jongin’s presence.

“Don’t you know that’s my favorite book?” Jongin points out his forefinger on the book Kyungsoo’s holding while smiling.

 He flips the book he's reading close, flashing his pretty bow shaped lips that seems to glint from the light above them. “It’s my favorite too. I’m reading this for the fifth time I think.”  Jongin takes a better look on the cover of the book Stardust. He knows that book; he will never ever get tired of reading it and he smiles knowing that Kyungsoo knows this craft. His friends aren’t readers like him that’s why when he met Kyungsoo, he was much honored to know him.

“I only read it once, but I really like it and voila! It’s my favorite.” Jongin’s eyes crinkle as he smiles and sniggers.

“So you read too. I can’t remember Baekhyun mentioning it to me before. But I’m glad you read.” He says giddily, because most of the teenagers nowadays would rather abandon a book for social media.

“I do read, but not often as you do.”

“I understand. You’re the basketball team captain anyway.” Jongin smirks haughtily, but he feels something ignite in his system from seeing Kyungsoo smile so brighter than those shining diamonds and pretty gems everyone desires. Something with Kyungsoo’s smile endeared him.

"Did you find your cap from last time?" Jongin stays silent as he still couldn't accept the fact that his stalker got his last gift from his mom. It's sentimental to him and Jongin is very attached to things he loves, just like that cap from his mom, his Armando Caruso and Pierre Cardin handkerchief collection, basketball, and that book Kyungsoo is currently reading. Neil Gaiman's Stardust is his most favorite book. It's the first book his Dad has ever pushed him to read before. He's not a voracious reader, but whenever his Dad tells him to read this, then that's the only time he will give time reading books.

"If only I knew who steals my things, I would have gotten them now, unfortunately I don't have a clue who my stalker is." Jongin says flatly through a yawn while stretching up his arms too, garnering attention from the librarian doing rounds.

"That must be scary." The other boy says.

"Very. This is the reason why I haven't gotten a girlfriend yet. I've been very cautious to every girl I interact with."

"Why do you think your stalker is a girl? What if it's a guy?" Kyungsoo a brow, intrigued.

Jongin snickers, his white teeth are blinding and Kyungsoo just stares with his comical eyes. "Just a hunch actually. But someone told us before that they see a girl coming in and out of the men's shower room. Sadly, he wasn't able to see her face."

"I hate stalkers," Kyungsoo cringes from saying the word. "If I have a stalker, I will haunt him or her then kill him." His eyes narrow, thick brows forming into a scowl and he seems serious, but Jongin just laughs. He almost forgot that they are inside the library and so, they are both sent out.

They laughed like it doesn't matter.

"You're scarier than a stalker Kyungsoo."

"I know right. I can be Satan Soo too."

They just met last three days through a mutual friend, yet Jongin thinks, they will click as best buddies as time goes by.

 

“ my research!”

 

 

~*~

 

 

There's no perfect word to describe a perfect being like you.

 

"I received a note."

"Cheesy," Chanyeol comments after quickly reading it. He s the note back to Jongin who crumples it and shoots it directly to the trash bin. "How about you meet your stalker then? Who knows she's y like those Victoria Secret's models? Send her a note and meet-up so this stalker thing would end and you could get back your valuable things from her."

"I'm in my right mind not to meet someone like her. Do you think I'll be safe when we meet? What if she decides to drug me? Force me to have with her or worse than that? Maybe chop off my limbs and keep it preserved? I will never ever meet someone like her!"

"Hey--chill dude. I'm just suggesting a solution but you have a point there. You shouldn't just meet a dangerous person who could have a potential to kill you too. So what's your plan then?"

"I don't kn--"

"Oh I just remembered! We have a sleepover in Luhan's house tonight. Maybe we can talk about this later with them." Chanyeol grins brighter than the beaming sun as he drags Jongin out of the school gates to prepare for their sleepover.

Jongin was not informed, but he follows Chanyeol home to pack his things for a day or two.

 

 

~*~

 

 

"You received a cheesy note?!"It’s always Luhan who overacts whenever Jongin has something terrible or good news to spill. His face contorts in an ugly way that sometimes Jongin finds it annoying because

“There’s no perfect word to describe a perfect being like you." Chanyeol recites with his annoying grin marring his face. "Cheesy right?"

"If that's Kylie Jenner I wouldn't mind having a stalker like her." Sehun comments and shoves three salty fries in his mouth and chews. Chanyeol frowns at him, but soon looks away.

"Then I wouldn't mind if it's Dara." Chanyeol's comeback answer and he receives a stuff of fries shoved in his mouth courtesy of Sehun--his object of affection.

"Enough stupids." Luhan interrupts. In their group, everyone knows about Chanyeol's crush on Sehun, but Sehun is too dumb to notice anyway. The honey brown haired boy turns to Jongin eating an apple who sports a tired look on his face. "So what now?"

"I'm thinking about how to stop this. How to stop her from stalking me? I just want to live a normal life, study in school without fear, without a bother. She's too much. Two months of stalking has been too long. I need help guys."

"Basically, you do. So what's the plan?"

 

 

 

"How about this, since you're straight, why don't you pretend to be gay and pretend to be dating a guy?"

"What!? This is ridiculous!"

"In order to stop something you don't want to last for long, you have to do something ridiculous, something out of plan in your life."

"No, I won't pretend to be gay. What would they just tell me? That Yellow Tiger's basketball team captain Kim Jongin is gay? This, I won't approve of."

"Then what you will do? Meet the woman who could possibly hurt you? Chop off your and preserve it in a glass jar?"

"Maybe I should just meet her and tell her to off. I won't pretend to be gay-"

"What if she doesn't stop then? What will you do? This is the only solution we can think of. Do you even want to know who your stalker is?"

"Why it has to be me? I don't know what to do, frankly and honestly I don't want to meet her because I might just punch her on the face, but that would be violation of women's rights or I'll get jailed."

"Then pretend to be gay until we graduate. We only have seven months to go before we get out of that school. After that, you can continue being straight, find a girlfriend whatever."

"I agree with Luhan. This is emergency 911 and Jongin, you don’t have any choice but to do this if you want this to stop.” Jongdae adds trying to encourage Jongin to just go with it.

"Why can't I just get a girl instead? Tell her to pretend that she's my girlfriend?" It can be an option as well and Jongin isn’t too stupid to just agree right there and then that easily with their silly suggestions.

"Do you even have in mind who would you want to be your fake girlfriend then? You hardly interact with girls nowadays."

"No. Well, do you have a guy in mind to be my fake boyfriend then?"

"Yes I do have."

"Who?"

 

"Who? Do Kyungsoo is perfect!"

 

 

~*~

 

 

"What are we going to talk about Baekhyun?" he inquires with his eyes gleaming in anticipation. His eyes would instantly widen whenever he's apprehensive on something. Receiving a text earlier in his Physics class that says, "We need to talk later. Clubroom. After lunch." from Baekhyun bothered him a bit. Baekhyun wouldn't text seriously like it normally so Kyungsoo knew that something serious is up and needs to be talked about.

The small clubroom with two shelves sticking against the walls, filled with musky scented books which was funded by the previous club presidents before Kyungsoo.

"Actually, it's Luhan who wants to talk to you." Baekhyun tells honestly. His face isn't the usual smiley-happy expression he always flashes to him. This time, it's stoic and when he pulls up a smile, it's strained.

Kyungsoo doesn't utter a word to ask why Luhan -a person he's not really close with- wants to have a word with him.

Exactly, the door swings open revealing Luhan who is all smiley and white teeth on Kyungsoo. His smile is pretty and his skin is like of mannequins, smooth and glowing.

"Finally! You're here." The visitor Luhan greets enthusiastically which is a very different kind of expression Baekhyun is exhibiting. Kyungsoo is more puzzled right now whether this conversation he'll be having with Luhan is serious or not.

"Baek said you want to talk to me?" Kyungsoo's lips twitched up on one side, acting nonchalant on what's about to come.

"Yes." His tone becomes dead serious and Kyungsoo couldn't tell if this is something urgent and crucial. Luhan's eyes are fix on him. Then he smiles widely again. Luhan is confusing him or maybe he's playing with him. He settles on the couch right next to the center table and crosses his arms and legs glamorously.

"So what is it you want to talk about?" Kyungsoo blinks thrice. He's sitting across from Luhan and Baekhyun is leaning on the wall with still his serious face on.

Luhan blinks adorably. "You knew that Jongin has a stalker right?"

Kyungsoo nods. "Well, we need your help." Luhan sincerely says, his eyes are hopeful and Kyungsoo's lips are parted. He gestures Luhan to continue though he couldn't put a finger on how he would be able to help them, help Jongin specifically.

There's a pregnant pause, and then a deep sigh coming from Luhan. Kyungsoo's heart is pounding. He's not good in reading someone's face. For him it's tricky. People would smile though they are sad, they would fake a grin when they hold hatred within their hearts, they would cry even if they are happy. Pretending isn't easy, but tricky. It's a deception, by hiding something you didn't want to get known by anyone.

"Luhan, what is it? H-How can I help Jongin?" He asks because the pause is taking too long and his nervousness increases, making his heart unsettled.

One, two, seven, nine seconds passed and Luhan's lips finally move, a huge grin etched on his face. "It's simple. Be Jongin's fake boyfriend."

 

 

~*~

 

 

The words echoed in his head, lingered in his mind and flashes before his eyes. Kyungsoo sighs through his nose as he lies on his bed that night. He stares at the ceiling, counting the glow in the dark stars he had asked his father to put when he was seven. They remained up there for years though a few had given up holding on tight and fell on the floor. Just like in life, when you give up, you fall.

"Why did I even say yes earlier?" He asks no one, but himself. He exhales soundly and he can't take back his yes now as everything has been finally decided.

Seven months of pretending is too long. He's not even sure if he could last. Lying and putting up an act is not his forte. He's a terrible liar. And now he'll try to pretend to be in-love with someone he hardly knows.

 

Jongin.

 

 

~*~

 

 

"So you agreed?" he asks solemnly.

They sit across from each other with bubbleteas wrapped around their fingers--Choco flavor for Kyungsoo with tapiocas and Taro with pearls for Jongin.

The soft tune of Lazy Song from Bruno Mars plays on the background.

"Y-Yeah..." The bubbletea is more interesting to look at for Kyungsoo. "You agreed too."

"I can't think of other ways to get rid of my stalker," he sips his drink and chews on the pearl. "Maybe this would work out."

"So when we will start?" Kyungsoo questions, eyes focused on Jongin who has his intense gaze that could maybe melt a Styrofoam.

"How about we start it now?"

Reluctant at first, Kyungsoo nods in the end. "Sure. Should we hold hands now? Kiss?" He said it as if it's not a big deal for him to do those things with another man.

There's a pregnant pause. Jongin finishes his drink and sets it aside on the table. This matter is serious. "Before we do those, Kyungsoo, always remind yourself that what we're going to do for the next days, for the next seven months, is just a lie. Don't get attached. We're friends yeah, but I just want to tell you I don't swing that way. I will only do this for my stalker to stop bothering me. And I think you don't swing that way too so you're the better option to play this part with me."

Just like what Kyungsoo has expected for Jongin to say, he nods in understanding and says casually. "This is just pretend." then adds, "I am straight."

 

I am not.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Jongin had never ever imagined himself holding hands with a guy before. He finds it disturbing to his part although he has friends who are biual, like Chanyeol who has a crush on Sehun. He's fine seeing Chanyeol secretly gushing over Sehun, but imagining himself to act that way over a man? He can't see himself doing that.

Gay relationship is taboo in their country, but several gay couples had come out. Jongin has nothing against them. They deserve to be happy too. But at that moment, Jongin is having a taste of it. He's experiencing it even if it's just all an act.

He couldn't deny too how their fingers perfectly fit with each other or how warm and soft Kyungsoo's hand is. It's smooth too. He hasn't taken a deep thought about how a guy's hand would fill in the spaces of his fingers.

"Are you okay?" Jongin takes a worried glance to his fake partner.

"I'm fine." Came Kyungsoo's flat reply. "Are you?"

It's uncomfortable, Jongin wants to tell, but opts to nod as not to make it more awkward than it is now.

"This is fine, I guess." Jongin smiles feebly.

"I hope this plan would work, for you." Kyungsoo smiles a little, his eyes focused on the ground as they walk hand in hand, getting used to skinship that they haven't had ever.

Jongin hopes so.

 

 

~*~

 

 

"Why are they holding hands?"

"Oh my god Kim Jongin is gay?"

"Disgusting,"

"They're cute."

"I can't believe they swing that way."

 

Murmurs.

Whispers.

Rumors.

News.

Fact.

 

"This is bad. Seoul Academy's basketball team captain is gay."

"That mysterious guy Kyungsoo is ing gay!? What the !"

"Faggots."

 

The word about Kyungsoo and Jongin dating spreads like a wildfire

"This is getting uncomfortable."

"You can't be uncomfortable or else this plan won't be effective."

"I'm not used holding hands with someone--"

"With a guy." Kyungsoo supplies briskly, his hand loosening with Jongin's, but the hesitant guy grabs his hand again to squeeze it tight.

"This is really awkward." Jongin mutters as they walk on the pavement, passing by students who have their heads on their general direction.

"It is. But you'll be able to bear with it right?" Kyungsoo assures, but Jongin hastily pries off his hand as an answer he gets as they arrive somewhere silent without students caring about their identities. About what they are suppose to do -to act- at the moment.

Kyungsoo inwardly sighs because he knows to himself, it will be hard for his part as well to play this fake dating game.

“Maybe we should stop this. I-I think I can’t do this.” Jongin tells while crding his fingers through his hair exasperatedly. “I can’t do this.”

Kyungsoo steps closer to him and gives him a pat on the shoulder. He understands how Jongin feels. If he’s situation is like this, for sure he’ll have second thoughts of continuing this. “Think about it again Jongin.” With one last smile, Kyungsoo slowly steps away. He steps away, away, away, leaving Jongin to decide.

 

 

~*~

 

 

The bell rings for lunch and students file out of the room. Kyungsoo is about to make a turn to go to the library to borrow a book when suddenly, he bumps to someone and as he lifts up head, he is greeted by Jongin’s sharp jaw that could perhaps slice a fruit in a matter of seconds. Anyway, Kyungsoo backs away to create a friendly distance between them.

“I want this to continue. You know what I mean.” He says proffering his hand for Kyungsoo to take.

Kyungsoo takes a quick glance around them and just what they expect, all eyes are trailing on them. Boldly, he takes Jongin’s warm calloused hand with his cold ones.

Jongin squeezes his hand and rubs his thumb on his to soothe his nervousness. “I got you Kyungsoo. We’ll do this together.” He ensures with a smile and all Kyungsoo could do is trust Jongin with this, and trust himself as well to do his part.

They walked hand in hand, with envious stares pointed towards them.

This is just the start.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Weeks melted to a month and the fake lovers have set their schedule when to hold hands, when to stick together. It’s uncomfortable and awkward at first, but as time goes by, they learned to be comfortable with each other like how friends are together.

It’s their fifth day of pretending and Jongin’s stalker lay low on that week which is a good sign. Both of them and the others wish that this stalker would soon stop doing whatever dirty business that person has in mind.

“Hey there love birds!” Chanyeol welcomes them both with a hug as they stepped in the usual noisy cafeteria. Everyone in their table is there and Luhan has the most brilliant smile of them all, maybe because this fake dating is his brilliant idea after all. And since because they are dating and most of the students knew about them, Jongin and Kyungsoo makes sure to publicized their relationship to ensure that whomever Jongin's stalker is, she would just give in eventually and stop bothering Jongin's life. And this little act would have to end.

Jongin pulls Kyungsoo away from Chanyeol’s grasp and glares at him, “No hugging my boyfriend dude.” He gives him a threatening look and Kyungsoo’s small stature lands on Jongin’s broad chest making the other feel awkward. Kyungsoo pushes him lightly though and shakes his head lightly to tell him he shouldn’t be hugging him too. Jongin gives him a sheepish smile, muting whatever Chanyeol and the others are saying about them.

Kyungsoo puffs his cheeks and sits down on his usual seat right beside Jongin and Sehun. Ever since he started fake dating Jongin, they both planned to eat together every lunch and for Kyungsoo to cook them food. Kyungsoo had never cooked for someone before besides for his parents who are unfortunately living in States with his older brother. Kyungsoo begged them to let him stay in Korea until he graduated. Usually, he would cook his special dish kimchi spaghetti and at first he was not confident to let Jongin have a taste of it. But after all, he ended up cooking food for Jongin after their first day and it became a routine to do another set of lunch instead of one for himself. This time, Kyungsoo cooked chicken curry for Jongin who instantly wolfs it down like a hungry beast who hasn’t eaten for days.

"Are you going to attend Jongin's fifth game?" Jongdae asks before stuffing rice in his mouth and all eyes turned to the both of them.

"I already bought a ticket for him, of course he will come, Kyungsoo wouldn't say no to me." Jongin grins happily as he eats his food –his second set of lunch- because Jongin could eat a lot when very hungry.

Luhan a brow after, not amused at all. "Jongin don't you have a pet name for your boyfriend?"

"Is it necessary?" Jongin argues.

"Uhm, I think Kyungsoo is enough." Kyungsoo nods to himself.

"No. Call Kyungsoo your Pororo. My Pororo. You love Pororo that much right Jongin? And yes Kyungsoo your boyfriend is still a child at heart."

"Luhan!"

"Hyung for you. So call him your Pororo now."

"Uh..."

"And call Jongin your Crong. My Crong."

"Oh shut up!"

"You want it just admit it Crong Jongin!"

Oh well, who couldn’t say no to Luhan anyway?

 

 

~*~

 

 

Kyungsoo is sitting on the VIP section inside the arena where the fifth game will be held in a matter of twenty minutes. Like the usual, the arena is huge and filled with students cheering for their team. The left part of the arena is filled of students wearing yellow shirts while the other side is filled with students from the opposing team wearing orange shirts to show their support for their schools. Banners are held by students, drums are being used to create noise and there are loud cheers coming from different directions. The atmosphere is very lively, but the tension between the opposing teams lingers in the air.

"My Pororo!" Someone calls and when Kyungsoo snaps his head forwards, Jongin is right there in-front of him, clad with his yellow basketball jersey with a huge number 88 printed on his back. The name Jongin used to call him registers in Kyungsoo’s head and he blushes a deep shade of red because of this.

"Are you serious?" he’s frowning and his thick brows look so funny, Jongin smoothens them for him by padding his thumbs over them to remove the crease on them.

"Just play along. There are a lot of girls around and maybe one of them is my stalker." He says, but making sure first no one will hear them and so, Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and gazes softly and sincerely to his fake boyfriend.

"My Crong...babe, honey, bunny, kitty, love, I’ll be here cheering for you so do well.” That caused Jongin to blush this time and people who pass by them just in time heard them clearly which is good. But seriously, that made Jongin’s willingness to win fire up more.

So in return, Jongin hugs Kyungsoo for good luck. “Thanks babe. Watch me and I will win this game for you.” He soon jogs away, giving Kyungsoo a cute flying kiss in which he doesn’t know what to do, but to blush and to smile back instead.

Pretending to be Jongin’s fake boyfriend isn’t hard as Kyungsoo has expected. In-fact, most of the students is convinced that they are real, although they are not. They just get along so well. They’re natural when they act and the built on blush on their cheeks whenever they do something a couple should do, just like earlier when they call each other pet names for the first time.

And as promised, Jongin wins the game and he meant it when he said his victory is for Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo is melting.

 

 

~*~

 

 

"Kyungsoo!" Jongin calls right before Kyungsoo could step in his room for his first class. He wheels around to face Jongin who jogs towards him and huffs as he takes a halt right in-front of him.

"Did you forget something?" Kyungsoo wonders because as far as he knows Jongin doesn't have to do anything with him anymore but just walk him to class.

Jongin darts his eyes from left to right which bothered Kyungsoo. He thinks Jongin is still not used to them always together, clinging with each other's presence, doing more skinship than necessary.

Making sure that people could see and who knows maybe his stalker is one of the girls around loitering in the hallway, Jongin grabs Kyungsoo's narrow shoulders before pressing a kiss near the corner of his lips. From this angle, anyone could tell that they are kissing lips to lips, though they are not. Students throw them horrified and shocked looks. They murmur to each other and they are most probably bad mouthing them or giving a big deal on how public Kyungsoo and Jongin could be in their relationship.

Meanwhile, Kyungsoo felt boneless from the sudden kiss. It was his first kiss he had ever received from a guy, because his first kiss was stolen before during his elementary years from a girl who assaulted him for a kiss because she has a crush on him. Kyungsoo's cheeks turn warm and because of his pale skin, the blush on his face is visible for Jongin to see.

He stays rooted on his spot, his ears and neck flushing as well and he blinks his huge eyes back at Jongin who stares at him with an awkward smile. "Well, we're a couple aren't we? So it's just normal."

Fake couple, Kyungsoo wants to remind him, but keeps it to himself. He nods a bit and stares back at Jongin who is rubbing his nape bashfully. "And one more thing, are you free later?"

Going back to his reserved self, Kyungsoo responds, "I am. Why?"

"I want you to be there in my basketball practice later after class. It's just in the gym so..." he trails off to leave Kyungsoo filling up the next words of his answer.

"I'll go." He tells with a tight smile and the bells rings to start the classes for that day.

"I will see you then. Text me later." Jongin pats both of his shoulders, grinning triumphantly before turning on his heel to go to his own class.

Kyungsoo watches him disappear from the corner before stepping in his class while successfully tuning off the bad remarks he receives from his classmates.

Good thing he's not affected at all from their blunt words. He remains level-headed and it's more mature to remain unaffected than making a big deal out of it.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Hours become a blur and Kyungsoo is standing near the gymnasium, hesitant to enter because that would definitely attract Jongin's teammates  to divert their attention to him since maybe half of the school's population knows now that Kim Jongin -basketball team captain- is gay and dating one of the unattractive guys in school. Kyungsoo is an average guy mysterious and geek. He's boring, but could get along with people well who treats him humanely. But then and again, he's not equally attractive -as he would admit- like Jongin. He's not even popular and he's very bad in playing sports especially basketball. With his small and short stature, he can't even shoot a ball to the ring even if he's just under the net. He couldn’t even dribble properly like everyone does in the gymnasium. During P.E it’s better if he would just stay on the bench and remain as a spectator.

And so that’s what he does. He stays seated on the topmost bench to watch Jongin train for the very first time with his fingers clasped together on his lap and his eyes following the lone tanned male's figure running towards the left ring while dribbling the ball expertly and giving signals to one of his teammates. He passes the ball and blocks his opponent. The ball is soon tossed to him then he passes it to Chanyeol who is under the net and shoots it triumphantly. Kyungsoo wouldn't deny how attractive and handsome Jongin is as he plays basketball even with his sweaty and disheveled appearance. He shakes his head from that thought and opts to focus more on their friendly game. However, once his eyes fixate back on the court, Jongin is already calling him with his hands near his cheeks to increase the volume of his voice.

"Kyungsoo!" he keeps on shouting and Kyungsoo gulps down on his seat and awkwardly smiles. Jongin runs up to him, skipping one step at a time and Kyungsoo couldn't help but blush when Jongin pants on his knees near him and smiles his beautiful smile.

"You're practicing, go back. I'll watch." Kyungsoo says, flashing his two thumbs up as a sign that he can continue on training while he watches and that he could wait.

Jongin sits beside him and Kyungsoo takes a better look of his sweaty form, but he averts his eyes and looks at the court which he soon regrets because Jongin's teammates are looking at them and some even took pictures of them together which makes his cheeks turn crimson and if possible, maroon for that matter.

Chanyeol gives him a wave and a smile, before talking to another person.

"Jongin! Introduce us to your boyfriend!" One of the guys whom Kyungsoo doesn't know demands and Jongin snickers beside him before asking, "Want to meet the guys? It's fine for me too if you don't like."

This is what Kyungsoo admires about Jongin. He's very considerate and understanding to him. There are times when Kyungsoo would say no to Jongin and Jongin wouldn't force him to something he doesn't want to do.

But this time, Kyungsoo couldn't say no and besides, people should be convinced that they are really dating so he nods and Jongin grins too widely for his liking, linking their fingers together before walking down to the court where all of Jongin's teammates are waiting.

"Guys, this is my boyfriend Do Kyungsoo, the president of the book club." Jongin introduces convincingly to them, squeezing Kyungsoo's cold hand as he recites their names one by one to him and of course, they welcomed Kyungsoo like he's just new to their team.

They talked for awhile and their conversation is mostly how's Jongin as a boyfriend, since when did you start liking him, and things that made them awkward for example, did you do it already? Both of their cheeks turn hot and pink from the question and thankfully, Chanyeol saves them by excusing them both that they need to leave for another date.

They left minutes after and once they're far enough from the gym, they both sighed, yet their hands are still together. They didn't mention about the last question they received, but instead, like the usual, they leave the school together. It became a routine for Jongin to always bring Kyungsoo home safely.

But just before they stepped off the building, Kyungsoo could feel someone watching them, someone boring laser beams on his head and it brought shivers down his spine.

He sees a shadow behind a post, Jongin is clueless, but he doesn't mention it on their way home.

 

 

~*~

 

 

They're used to their routine. Kyungsoo will be always there to watch Jongin train after class, instead of staying in the library to read. He's always present in every game Jongin has and he will be always there sitting in the VIP section in which Jongin's admirers envy about him. There would be always haters saying something from his back, but he would always ignore them and Jongin is always there to defend him at all costs. He would always walk to school only to find Jongin waiting for him at the front gates so they could always enter their school's vicinity together hand in hand. Jongin would walk him to his room and would always make sure that students will see him kissing Kyungsoo on the cheek before he goes to his own classroom. They would always eat lunch together with the others in the cafeteria. Kyungsoo would bring out the lunch he made for Jongin and Jongin would always compliment him from how delicious the food is even if Luhan, Baekhyun, Jongdae and the others would tell him that it's too salty or tasteless and yet Jongin would defend that no it's not or no Kyungsoo, this is perfect for me don't mind them, just mind me.

When Jongin doesn't have practice, he would always be there outside Kyungsoo's classroom to wait for him. There are still judging eyes, but they both know how to keep it cool. They would entwine their fingers together despite the murmuring and whispering behind their backs; Kyungsoo and Jongin would squeeze each other's hands and would engage to a conversation that nobody could ever disturb them from because it's at that moment when they build their own world, blocking everyone from them.

Despite the unknown menacing stares and unknown shadows Kyungsoo had started to notice every single day, he once dared to catch the person whom he's sure watching him and Jongin whenever they are together. Unfortunately, when he has courage to catch the culprit, a deserted hallway would always greet him.

Jongin would ask him what's the matter and he would answer him back that I saw someone. During these times when Jongin would pull Kyungsoo closer to him as if he's seriously protecting him from harm and he knows to himself that whoever this unknown presence is should stop disturbing their peace. He wouldn't afford to get Kyungsoo hurt. He wouldn't let anyone hurt Kyungsoo, because ever since they started pretending to be a couple, Jongin had promised himself to take responsibility of Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is helping him and to repay him, he will protect him no matter what.

Kyungsoo's heart skips a beat.

 

 

~*~

 

 

They lost the game. Jongin is very disappointed to himself for losing this last game. He has been too confident to win when they scored more points than with their opponent during the last quarter and they were so defenseless that the other team garnered points to meet up with their score. If only he didn't let his guard down then they had probably win. They lost for only one point and god, he wants to pull out his hair from frustration.

Their coach is very upset as well although he keeps telling the team that in every game someone loses, someone wins. A game can be unpredictable at some times. Yet, no matter how his coach neither his teammates nor his friends cheer him up, the fact that he caused their chance to the finals downgraded him. It's his fault and he blames himself for this.

The gymnasium which is filled with students and spectators to watch the game is now deserted, only leaving Jongin crouched down in the middle of the court, sweaty and tired.

Lights start to dim and Jongin doesn't have an energy to stand up and leave the vicinity. After an hour or so of sulking alone in the basketball court, there are soft steps gradually moving towards him and as he looks up, Kyungsoo smiles at him, that endearing smile of his that renders Jongin breathless.

"You did great there." he says as sincerely as he could.

"I didn't. Don't compliment me." Jongin responds back with bite on his words and yet Kyungsoo is still smiling and crouches beside him.

"But you did your best. I know you did." He ruffles Jongin's hair to make it messier and he laughs softly. Jongin gives him a cold stare, but Kyungsoo is having none of it.

"You're crazy." Jongin tells him.

"Maybe I am." He stands up with a grin on his face and from his periphery; he could see a lone ball from the corner and moves towards it to get it. Jongin watches him intently and there's a bubble of laughter in the air as he watches Kyungsoo having a hard time to dribble the ball. It brought back the smile on his face eventually which is some sort of miracle because whenever he's mad of something or sad and depressed, it will be hard for someone to cheer him up and bring back his glorious smile. Even Chanyeol's jokes don’t work on him when he once had an unintentional violation at school or when he failed his History test during junior year. But with Kyungsoo who doesn't even know him that long, he has triumphantly made him smile effortlessly.

"You're really crazy." Jongin mutters under his breath before trudging towards Kyungsoo with a twinkling smile that Kyungsoo is pleased to see again.

"Teach me your ways Captain Kim."

For the remaining two hours before the venue finally closes, Jongin taught Kyungsoo about the basic basketball techniques like dribbling, passing and shooting. It's actually fun teaching Kyungsoo who doesn't really know how to play basketball nor dribble and shoot the ball. Kyungsoo told him how stupid he is in playing sports, but even with that kind of flaw he has; Jongin admits that Kyungsoo is still cute no matter what he does.

Flushing and huffing Kyungsoo is really really cute.

"You're so cute," Jongin tells him with a teasing smile, but Kyungsoo throws him the ball harshly and bites back, "You're crazy." before stepping out of the court with Jongin laughing behind him as the ball meets the floor and keeps on bouncing on it until the lights went out.

He might have lost the game earlier, but being with Kyungsoo makes him feel that he had just win.

Once they’re back in the comforts of their own houses, specifically in their rooms, Jongin who has instantly forgot how he lose the game earlier, flops himself on his bed and checks his phone, only to see a message from Kyungsoo. The earlier short basketball tutorial with the other male floods his mind, bringing laughter to resound in his quiet room.

 

Are you free tomorrow? –Kyungsoo

I have two hour practice after class. Why? –Jongin

I want to invite you or a dinner in my place tomorrow. It’s fine if you can’t come. –Kyungsoo

I will go. I wouldn’t turn out food ^^ I’ll see you tomorrow? –Jongin

See you J Goodnight. –Kyungsoo

 

Jongin sleeps with a sweet dream that fateful night.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Kyungsoo cooked a lot of food for that day. He wants to cheer up Jongin after losing the game yesterday and he doesn't plan to stop. Even if they both enjoyed their little training last night which involves Kyungsoo to always miss the basket when he shoots the ball and when one time he slips off on the floor when he and Jongin had a game. The memories last night still lingers in his head and he couldn't help but smile as he pulls out the tray of cookies he baked exclusively only for Jongin to taste.

Everything is settled and he pulls off his apron when the doorbell rings and when his phone vibrates inside his pocket. He didn't read the message anymore, knowing that it's Jongin telling him to open up the door. He pads his feet to the door and turns the knob, flinging the door open to be greeted by Jongin in a simple white tee and faded jeans that hugs his thighs tightly. Like any other day, Jongin looks very handsome.

"I smell food!" He says enthusiastically and steps inside Kyungsoo's house for the very first time.

Kyungsoo is closing the door when he notices Jongin dashing towards the kitchen where the smell of food and cookies wafts the air.

Chuckling, he walks back to the kitchen only to see Jongin already munching the fried chicken wings.

Kyungsoo stares at him with wide eyes and Jongin stares back at him with a wide smile.

"I'll finish these all. Thank you for this dinner Kyungsoo. Let's eat!"

Without hesitation, Jongin comfortably sits on a chair and starts putting food on his clean plate and eats.

Kyungsoo watches him with interest in his eyes as he too, starts eating food with Jongin happily.

After an hour or so of eating, just what Jongin has promised, he finished all the food Kyungsoo has prepared for him. Only half of the rice was left and Jongin is still nibbling with his cookies while Kyungsoo is cleaning the dirty dishes.

"You're better in the kitchen, but you don't in playing basketball. You remind me of my deceased mother. She bakes cookies for me too before when I was eight." Jongin shares his story. He hasn't mentioned yet the cause of his mother's death to Kyungsoo. All he knows is that his mother has already passed away and the last gift from her which is the cap was taken away from him by his unknown stalker.

Kyungsoo wipes his hands on his apron, before removing it off of him. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's fine. Mom is happier there in heaven." Jongin assures, brushing off the crumbs from his lap.

"May I know the cause of her death?" Kyungsoo asks carefully. "But it's fine if you don't want to tell."

"Heart attack." Jongin says with a sad smile. "Anyway, I want to see your book shelf. You promised me before right?" he stands from his seat and Kyungsoo chuckles from the immediate change of topic. Maybe Jongin is still sad whenever he gets reminded of his late mother, but doesn't show it. And so, Kyungsoo leads Jongin upstairs to his room.

The first thing Jongin takes notice of is how clean and organized Kyungsoo's things are. And it's true, he has a huge bookshelf right beside his bed with eight rows that could already touch the ceiling. It is filled with books in different thickness and sizes, in different colors and genres. Jongin is amazed and when he sees his favorite book Stardust, he could help but pick it from the fifth row and smile as he flips the pages.

"You really love that book don't you?" Kyungsoo settles on the edge of his bed while Jongin remains seated on the floor.

"I do. I really really do love this book. Maybe later when I get home I'll reread this again." Jongin says with his lips curving up as he rereads the ending of the story, before putting it back to its designated place.

"Tell me more about yourself." Kyungsoo hugs a pillow as he watches Jongin sit back on the floor.

"Besides basketball, I dance too. But I stopped for now though I think I can still dance. Not just as fluid and precise as before."

"Why did you quit?"

"I didn't quit. I just stopped because I've been busy with the basketball team."

"Can you dance for me Jongin?"

"Just don't expect too much because I lost my touch in dancing." Jongin stands up and stretches his limbs. It’s been a long time since he danced again. He doesn’t mind giving Kyungsoo a show for they will be quits. Kyungsoo doesn’t cook for anybody, but he does for Jongin which touched him when he got to know that information. So in return, since he doesn’t dance just with anybody, he’s willing to show Kyungsoo about his other talent he takes pride of as well.

Jongin plays an upbeat song from his phone and he lets Kyungsoo hold it while he dances freely like a bird soaring up the vast sky.

Kyungsoo is beyond awe. Jongin's graceful movements marveled him. It's the most passionate dance he has ever seen. There's something in him that he couldn’t describe. Maybe because he’s too enraptured from the beauty that is Kim Jongin.

It lasted for three minutes and Jongin huffs as he finishes his dance routine. Kyungsoo gives him a whistle and an incessant loud clap, amazed from the talent Jongin has showcased especially for him.

"You're amazing Jongin." He grins, still in awe. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to dance. His body isn’t just built for dancing and sports obviously.

"Thank you." His smile is like a lone star twinkling on a black stark sky. "Would you like to share a dance with me?"

"Sure. It's a pleasure." Kyungsoo answers. He's reluctant to move at first, but eventually, he finds his waist wrapped around Jongin's strong arms, his own hands gripping the latter's shoulders and the music plays. Jongin chooses the song.

 

When your looks don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks
 

 

Jongin's intense gaze is disturbing. Kyungsoo couldn't keep his eyes locked with the other. He thinks if he does, he would suddenly melt literally into a puddle of goo. His knees are weak as they move left and right, back and forth. The spacious space in the middle of the room is theirs as if they are both standing on top of their own world, with no one to judge them, with no one to dictate their lives. They glide here and there with their hearts probably fluttering wildly against their chest. Kyungsoo isn't sure if Jongin feels the same way at the moment. He probably doesn't. He's straight isn't he? And this is all just pretend.

 

 

So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are

 

 

"Why aren't you looking at me Kyungsoo?" came his gruff voice that sends jolt down Kyungsoo's spine. His velvety voice is like chocolate syrup flowing in ease. He couldn't look up at him. He's afraid, he's scared, but Jongin's stare remains on him, unwavering.

Without a warning, he tips the boy's chin, meeting his eyes which grows wider, but still sports an adorable expression. "In every dance competitions, eye contact is necessary, especially in ballroom dancing." he explains casually and those words quickly passes through his ears and his heart thump thump thump.

 

 

When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mm
I know you will still love me the same

'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen
Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory

 

 

But for Kyungsoo, this isn't necessary. This isn't a dance competition. This isn't a ballroom dance. This is nothing. Nothing at all. Eye contact is not mandatory. It's not good for his heart. It isn't good. It isn't.

And yet he complies.

The song moves on, their inexplicable gazes meet. Kyungsoo wants to let go, he wants to pull away, he wants this to stop, he wants this to end.

 

 

I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan
I'll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand

 

 

He wants to cry.

Maybe we find love right where we are...

He holds on tight.

 

But baby now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are, oh

 

 

 

It just came to Jongin’s mind to ask Kyungsoo to dance with him. He didn't see this coming, but he missed dancing more than he thought.

This is the very first time he asked a guy to dance with him. This is the very first time he had done this.

He didn't know it will be Kyungsoo who would awaken his desire of dancing again.

During the dance for four minutes and forty-one seconds, he felt free with his limbs moving in sync with Kyungsoo, he felt something peculiar blossoming from the pit of his stomach and his chest, his chest hurts, in a good way which is an odd feeling he had never felt before or maybe had felt before, but this seems different.

With the way he stares at those expressive orbs Kyungsoo owns, something crawls on his skin, maybe on his bones too and it tingles. He shakes off the feeling, sure that it's only nothing, and maybe it's the result of being able to dance again? But to tell you the truth, Jongin doesn't know. But maybe adrenaline, maybe excitement, maybe feeling of content? He's unsure.

For days they had been pretending, Jongin realized a lot of things. Mostly, they are about Kyungsoo. Like how Kyungsoo's wide eyes would crinkle and turn to half slits when smiling too widely; like how his lips would form into a heart when smiling; like how his ears would turn red when it's cold; his neck sprinkled with dots of moles like forming a constellation; like how soft and warm his hands are; like how smooth and soft his skin is to his touch; like how soft hearted he is, kind, caring, but can be mean and violent too and the list goes on. Sometimes he thinks, if Kyungsoo is only a girl, he would definitely fall in-love with him.

However, they are both men. Jongin is straight. Kyungsoo is straight (or so he thought). So it's impossible right? And no, he wouldn't fall in-love with another boy like him. This is taboo. He doesn't swing that way. Why is he even thinking about this? And now they are dancing, closer, bodies pressed, arms circled around each other and Jongin--Jongin can't stop staring as if his eyes are meant to be fixated on Kyungsoo's bright orbs, his presence. As if he is meant to be there, standing closer to Kyungsoo, dancing with his heart beating rapidly for unknown reason and again, his eyes, Kyungsoo's eyes, there is something on them that holds him there to stay dancing and holding Kyungsoo around his arms. There is something he could feel from the pit of his stomach and it flutters. Butterfly wings perhaps? But no there couldn't be butterflies inside. There shouldn't be. And he feels tingly. When their eyes meet after insisting, Jongin's resolve crumbles into pieces. Something clicks in his brain; something tugs his heartstrings in a peculiar way. His blood pumps. His body tenses. His heart stops, maybe. His stomach does somersaults.

 

Jongin lets go of him.

 

Oh maybe we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are

 

~*~

 

 

His eyes prick from lack of sleep. The bags under his eyes are very obvious and he looks so restless and stressed. It's been going on like this for three days, having difficulty to sleep as many thoughts come invading his mind. He can't even concentrate on his classes and even during his basketball trainings despite losing the last game to enter the quarter finals.

He doubts himself. He asks himself. He talks to himself a lot while facing the mirror near his bed and scrutinize himself. He has his own recollection and introspection as he go back to the days when his mother died and his father raising him up well, when he stepped in high school and magnetized suitors here and there, for gaining a stalker who mostly steals/takes his valuable things and make him think about how scary girls could be when obsessed to someone they like, and when Kyungsoo came in his life, there has been an immense change in his world which can either be a good or bad change however.

"Didn't sleep well last night?" It’s Chanyeol. Jongin snaps his head to the side to see his friend sitting near his head as he’s lying down on the grass bed in their school’s garden.

"Can't sleep.” Jongin’s smile dims. “I've been thinking a lot lately."

"Thinking about Kyungsoo?" he hit the jackpot, but Jongin doesn’t confirm it. He stays silent and feigns indifference.

"Am I right?"

Jongin stares back to the drifting clouds up above. Some clouds shape like a horse, some looks like a dragon, some looks like an alligator, it's weird. "How did you know you like Sehun?"

"I feel sad whenever I'm not with him. His absence is what I'm scared the most and when I'm with him I feel so comfortable like some gravity pulls me close to him and I just realized a long time ago, that ah...I like this guy, I don't want him to be away from me."

"You sound like you quoted it from a sappy romance drama you've been watching."

"But it's the truth. That's what I feel for him." Chanyeol says those words in ease and pride, but for Jongin, it's gotten complicated for him to understand.

"And what did you do when you found out you swing that way?" Jongin asks lowering his voice.

“I can’t remember, but I think I had difficulty in sleeping back then. I bet it’s happening to you now.”

Jongin gives him an appraising look. “Just because I find it hard to sleep now at night doesn’t mean I’m like you.”

Chanyeol smiles softly, standing up and brushing his back. “I think you need more time to yourself. I understand how you feel. But if you need someone to talk to, I’m just a call away.” He turns his back away from him. “Goodluck Jongin.”

Jongin watches him jog away, until he disappears from his sight. He stares back at the blue sky and deems Chanyeol right. He needs more time to think about whatever feeling this is.

He closes his eyes and sees Kyungsoo’s face smiling back at him.

This is serious .

 

 

~*~

 

 

"Hey Kyungsoo, why aren't you with your boyfriend?" some students could be too bothersome and annoying. Whenever he’s without Jongin, they would often ask him where his boyfriend and whatnot. He tries to be cool about it, but there are times that it irritates him a lot. He wants to tell them that Jongin has businesses with his own and they are not supposed to be together every single minute because that is not how it should go. Students meddling with his relationship with Jongin irk him and if he got more annoyed from it, he’ll not hesitate to unleash his Satan Kyungsoo personality.

"He's with his friends." His nice reply with a sarcastic smile.

The student sardonically smiles back and spills his information. "I saw him with a pretty Junior earlier. They're in an empty room and talking seriously."

There’s a crack somewhere. Kyungsoo is sure he heard something ripping off, but couldn’t tell what it is, or he’s just pretending he doesn’t know what this is ripping apart in his system?

"Ohh" he nods and hums. He has a blank look on his face and it suddenly becomes hard to pull up a smile.

"Aren't you going to take a look?" the guy hitches up an eyebrow suggestively.

"No." Kyungsoo’s blunt reply, turning his back away from the other male and steps forward to leave quickly from there, because it hurts there. It hurts and he wants this to stop.

Jongin is straight. This is just a pretend. Don’t get attached. Stop. Stop. Stop it.

"What if he's cheating on you--hey!"

Kyungsoo jogs away from him. His knees buckle, his eye sight blurs, he wants to go home. He wants this to end. He wants this to stop.

Stop. Stop this now Jongin. Stop this. Please.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But…

 

 

 

 

 

There's no even us in the first place so why should I care?

 

 

~*~

 

 

It’s only past 10PM and Kyungsoo feels unsettled. Usually, he doesn’t go to bed as early as 10PM, but 1AM. However, he's too tired to move to do his homework or read a good book. Not when Kim Jongin is running in his mind since morning. He wasn't able to concentrate in class as well and it caused him to flunk his quiz in Physics. All thoughts about Jongin making him feel vulnerable. He starts thinking what if he hadn't agreed to be his fake boyfriend? Probably it wouldn't turn out like this. He never expected that this day will come, that one day, he will realize the inevitable. He could even hear it in the silence of his room and his chest aches. All he wants now is for this to stop. It's driving him crazy.

Tossing and rolling on bed won't do him any good. He's not good in handling situations like this and so he turns on his phone and calls a friend whom he could definitely trust, whom he confide and find comfort with just for this night.

"Kyungsoo, what's the matter?" the voice from the other line is groggy and deep. Kyungsoo suddenly regrets calling him this late at night.

"Uhm, I'm hanging up--"

"Don't you dare Do Kyungsoo." He speaks in a hard tone and there's a sound of shuffling and door opening. "What is it?" he demands and even if Kyungsoo is the president of their club, Baekhyun could be more authoritative at some instances, just like this, when Kyungsoo feels so tired, confused and weak.

"I can't sleep. Can we have a drink Baek?" Kyungsoo is biting his lower lip from the suggestive statement he has never dared asking before to anybody.

"You're drinking alcohol?!" Baekhyun's shocked tone hurt Kyungsoo's ears but he doesn't pull out the phone from his left ear.  He sighs, but it's the only thing he could think of to get rid of this stress he's feeling. "I thought you think those drinks are filthy, unhealthy-"

"Please?" Kyungsoo pleads, he takes a deep breath and he could feel tears prick his eyes.

 

Baekhyun heaves a sigh of defeat and says, "Just this once alright? I'll be there in twenty."

 

 

~*~

 

 

It's been three days since they last conversed and Jongin wouldn't deny that he's concerned about Kyungsoo. They haven't exchanged text messages for two days and they haven't seen each other for two days as well. Damn. He misses him, isn't that too much? Ever since he danced with Kyungsoo on that fateful evening of Tuesday, Jongin has never been confused like this before, but it's there and he could feel it. All he has to do is accept and embrace the fact that--

But before anything else, finally, he sees Kyungsoo once again and it schools a huge grin on his face whilst excitement and nearly jumping on the short male heightens his senses.

"Hey!" he greets with his one million dollar smile as he stands next to Kyungsoo who is pulling out a book from the top shelf.

"Hey." Kyungsoo's casual response after having a glimpse of Jongin as he tip toes and pulls out a book successfully. He dusts the covers of it and Jongin didn't miss how the corners of his lips curve to a smile.

"So what are you reading this time?" He asks, instead of the usual how are you.

"Inferno." Kyungsoo flashes to him the book, before turning to his heel and treading towards an empty seat.

Jongin tails behind him, hands in his pockets. He couldn't wipe off the smile on his face because Kyungsoo is here and being with Kyungsoo makes him hyper. It's just whenever he's with him, his heart pumps blood excitedly and he feels kind of energetic.

"Interesting. So how about bubbletea later?"

"I pass." Kyungsoo's quick response as he sits and flips the first page of the book, not daring to look at Jongin.

Jongin takes the seat beside him and exhales soundly. His wide smile earlier becomes smaller and sad from remembering something earlier this morning. "Baek told me about last night."

Kyungsoo casts him a quick glance, his eyes unreadable and his face devoid of emotion. "Yeah I drunk." he answers as if it's normal for him to drink.

Jongin leans forward to him and their faces are inches closer that Kyungsoo didn't hesitate to back away. He sneers at the tanned male and was about to speak when Jongin beats him to it. "Why? Why didn't you call me instead? Why did you drink--"

"For experience and no I don't want to bother you last night."

"That's not just it right?" Jongin barely whispers with his sincere eyes that strike through Kyungsoo's soul.

"W-Why do you care?" Kyungsoo looks away and darts his eyes from somewhere else, but not Jongin.

"Because you're my friend and friends comfort each other during adversity right?"

Jongin's gaze doesn't waver and Kyungsoo keeps on shifting on his seat because his uncomfortable especially when Jongin's arm is draped around Kyungsoo's chair near his shoulders.

Kyungsoo needs an excuse to leave, because he doesn't want to be with Jongin just yet, not when he feels ty and skittish around him. And so he takes a glance on his wrist watch. " I forgot I have to go, I still have a meeting to attend to." he lies convincingly and he pats himself internally from his effective little act. He s the book on Jongin's chest who receives it with his mouth agape, tongue tied. "Return it for me I need to go." He's in haste as he pulls up his bag on his shoulders, before setting huge steps out of the door. But before he could, Jongin calls and he doesn't care if some eyes are darted over him for shouting inside the quiet library.

"Wait--" Kyungsoo stops on his tracks. He snaps his head over his shoulder and arches a brow.

"What?"

Stay. He wants to say. His knuckles turn white and his fist clenches because he couldn't tell the words he wants to say and so he takes a deep breath and shrugs.

"N-Nothing. See you tomorrow?" his eyes are hopeful, but Kyungsoo's eyes are opposite of him. They are blank and Jongin couldn't see the splash of colors in Kyungsoo's eyes as he shows a smile.

"See you." He turns his back away from Jongin and leaves, leaving the door shut, leaving Jongin feeling wounded.

 

 

~*~

 

 

After eating with the group in the cafeteria, Kyungsoo suddenly excused himself to go to the office to pick up something. No one questioned him when he left, not even Jongin who gives him a friendly smile and a see you later. But without his consent, Baekhyun followed him to the office and he overheard what Kyungsoo and the school's principal are talking about. He doesn't really intend to listen, but when he heard the words scholarship, States and leaving, he couldn't help but to listen more.

Once Kyungsoo steps out of the Principal's office, his eyes turn wider when he sees Baekhyun staring at him disapprovingly.

"You'll study in States?" he whisper shouts and Kyungsoo doesn't spare him a look as he trudges down the hallway.

Baekhyun grabs his wrist and wheels him around. He was about to ask the same question again, but only for Kyungsoo to answer it quick and sharply.

"Not yet sure. But I'm thinking about it. It's up to me if I will reject this scholarship or not."

he pries away his hand from his friend to leave, but stops when Baekhyun asks gently.

"What did Jongin tell you?"

"He doesn't know."

"You should tell it to him."

Kyungsoo looks over his shoulder at him. "Why should I?"

"You're friends with him. It's good if he knows." Baekhyun reasons out dumbly.

"Oh I forgot we're friends." Kyungsoo says sarcastically with a sad laughter.

Baekhyun could sense something he's been trying to ask Kyungsoo before, but doesn't have the guts to do it so. Now is the time. "Tell me, do you like Jongin?"

The other male frowns at him and turns away. His voice drop to almost nothing. "We're friends."

"You like him."

"We're friends." he repeats with a drip of venom in his voice.

"Bull."

" you."

And Kyungsoo leaves hastily away from Baekhyun, away from the questions he doesn't want to answer.

 

 

~*~

 

 

A week passed, they are still into their routine, but something changed because they hardly talk now like they used to and it's been awkward between them ever since that night they danced under the moonlight casting shadows in Kyungsoo's room.

Jongin is waiting for Kyungsoo outside his room and the other boy greets him with a small smile, instead of the wide heart shaped lips stretching on his face that Jongin misses to see. "Can we talk?"

"Sure..." Kyungsoo says with a nod and they walked somewhere secluded and somewhere away from the students' earshot. They end up talking up the rooftop when the sky bleeds to orange and red. The air is cold, but bearable. Kyungsoo stands right in-front of Jongin and Jongin stares at him intensely and Kyungsoo couldn't just meet his eyes because no, just no, he couldn't handle Jongin's heavy stares anymore.

"We can't pretend anymore." He says without beating around the bush, direct and bold.

"Good..." he could feel the tears in his eyes, but he successfully blinks them away.

"I knew already who my stalker is." Jongin informs happily with a small chuckle. He inserts his hands inside his pockets.

"Oh..." Kyungsoo is holding onto his ground. He takes a deep shuddering breath.

Jongin tilts his head to the side to meet Kyungsoo's eyes who wouldn't look back at him. "Aren't you happy?"

Finally, Kyungsoo has the guylts to keep an eye-contact with him. "Do I look sad?"

"I don't know. But it's good isn't it? This pretending will now end."

"Ahuh." Kyungsoo wants to laugh, but deems not to.

The wind brushes their hair into a mess and the silence is uncomfortable. The first few twinkling dots of stars show up in the navy blue sky while the moon is clouded over.

"Kyungsoo?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

"Hm."

Jongin's courage crumbles down. He could feel the tension in the atmosphere, the awkwardness and the unspoken words that linger in the air. This is the right time to tell Kyungsoo, but he couldn't say it. He can't. He's scared.

It's been a week since he finally realizes what he wants and that is Kyungsoo. He's still new to this kind of feeling for the same , but the feeling is too strong and no matter how he tries to watch ladies in bikinis, all he can see is Kyungsoo smiling his heart shaped lips at him.

"I'll go home. Uhm, I mean my aunt called me earlier to have dinner with her. Uh, you're welcome."

With just a blink of an eye, Kyungsoo is already gone. The metal door closing is like a door of Kyungsoo's heart closing for him.

Kyungsoo is straight, so how could he enter in? Right?

And besides, he still has a lot to tell Kyungsoo about his stalker, but it feels like the other doesn't have any interest to know about it more. Maybe he really wants this to end as soon as possible.

Sighing can be tiring.

 

~*~

 

 

Finals.

 

Kyungsoo can I come over? –Jongin

Sorry you can’t. –Kyungsoo

I miss you. –Jongin

Thank you. Focus on your studies Jongin and sleep –Kyungsoo

You too. Fighting! –Jongin.

 

It’s been three weeks perhaps when they distanced themselves from each other. It’s been three weeks since Jongin told him this is the end and Kyungsoo doesn’t understand how he feels if he should be happy or sad about it. He runs his fingers through his hair and it doesn’t actually help to ease his frustration.

 

He’s falling.

 

Falling.

 

Falling.

 

He’s in-love.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Graduation Day.

 

"Hey." It’s a normal greeting between them. It’s over. Staying late at nights studying Physics and Calculus is finally over and Kyungsoo is very happy about it. After three hours or so, their graduation rite is finally over and all Kyungsoo would have to do is something he wouldn’t tell to Jongin, because he thinks he doesn’t deserve to.

"Hey." He greets back with a small smile as he faces Jongin. He still admires their height differences because it’s just perfect as if they’re made for each other, but they are not and geez Kyungsoo, stop thinking this way. You and his fake dating game is over. No attachments like he said before. Don’t cross the boundary.

Keep your real feelings for yourself.

"Congratulations." Jongin tells to him with his 100-watt smile that could probably light up the entire Seoul.

"Same to you too. Finally, high school life is over." Kyungsoo says casually and there’s a long silence between them before Jongin pulls out something from his pocket and hands it to Kyungsoo. "Yep. Here."

"What's this?" Kyungsoo smiles tightly while he receives a brown envelope and warily stares at it.

"See for yourself." Jongin gestures him to rip it open. It seems like the letter has been already opened earlier, but Jongin pasted it back for Kyungsoo to open it again for himself.

Seconds tick by as he unfolds the paper and read its contents. His eyes dart from left to right downwards and his eyes become bigger and the corners of his lips hitch to a wide smile. He lifts up his chin towards Jongin and hollers.

"You passed! Congrats!"

Jongin is sniggering and chuckling. His eyes become crescent whenever he’s too happy. "How about you? Did you pass too?" he asks delicately with curiosity dripping in his voice. They told each other before what they want to be in the future. Kyungsoo told him how he wants to be a great writer someday so he’ll take Creative Writing as his major program in college. While he told him that he wants to take Psychology in their state university which he fortunately passed.

"Hm."  His vague reply. He never told Jongin where he’ll study although they took entrance exams in different universities which he all passed, but there’s this one university he doesn’t told him about.

"Congrats too Soo. I hope we'll see each other again then?"

Kyungsoo’s face clouded over. "Maybe soon when you get married." He says flatly and Jongin’s smile fades a bit from that statement that felt like stabbing his heart relentlessly. It feels like as if Kyungsoo doesn’t want to see him again over summer and it alarms him, but doesn’t say a word about it.

"Kyungsoo we have to go!" Kyungsoo’s aunt who was the only one from his family who attended calls him.

"Bye Jongin." His hair fall on his eyes as he slightly cowers his head. His smile doesn’t reach his ears, the sparks in his eyes are long gone, Jongin is perturbed. Before he could say something more, Kyungsoo is already gone from the crowd.

"Bye Soo!” he yells out even if there’s a small chance that Kyungsoo could still hear him. “See you in summer!"

But he doesn’t get any reply, nor a smile or a nod to confirm that Kyungsoo is still there listening to him.

 

Jongin leaves with a heavy heart.

 

 

~*~

 

 

During the first week of vacation, Jongin only reread his favorite book Stardust and he plans to reread it over and over again. He doesn't mind tho. And for the first week without school, Jongin can't just stop thinking about Kyungsoo and how he wants to meet him again and so he sends him a message, before going to sleep, not even minding to wait for the boy's reply, because for sure, Kyungsoo will not ditch him.

 

 Meet me tomorrow at 12nn. Starbucks near central park. We need to talk. –Jongin

 

Jongin's excitement had intrigued his Dad early in the morning. Jongin even toasted bread for them and even made two cups of coffee for him and his Dad. He notes to himself to ask Kyungsoo to bake him cookies again for him and his father and Jongin really wants to introduce him to his Dad so maybe later when Kyungsoo agreed, his Dad who wants to meet this book lover friend of his would be very ecstatic to finally meet him.

Jongin has told his Dad about Kyungsoo months ago, but he always forgets to invite Kyungsoo over his house.

Now is the time. Hopefully.

An hour before their actual time to meet up, Jongin is already there inside the coffee shop near the window as he waits for Kyungsoo's arrival. The boy didn't give him a reply or a call from last night, so he texts him again.

 

Kyungsoo, are you on your way?

 

No reply.

 

I'm here already :)

 

No reply.

 

And yet, he waits and waits even if one of the staff there tells him that bystanders aren't allowed and he should leave if he doesn't order anything. But he tells back that he's waiting for someone and that he will order later in which the staff, thankfully leaves him for good.

He checks his phone again and his eyes twinkle when he sees a notification.

 

Where the hell are you? -Chanyeol

 

Starbucks near central park. why? -Jongin

 

Then the doors fling open, several minutes after, revealing a mussy haired Park Chanyeol who soon tromps towards him with a serious face on which he hardly shows unless something serious is taking place at the moment.

"What the hell are you doing here?"He says harshly and Jongin blinks innocently at him.

"I texted Kyungsoo to meet up with me here. Why are you here? Stalking me?"

Jongin's dumb reply, but he decides to take Chanyeol seriously, because he looks so scary and intimidating.

"Idiot! Kyungsoo is leaving!"

"Huh?"

"Didn't that idiot tell you he's going to States to study there?"

Chanyeol is furious and everyone's eyes are on them and Jongin could feel the ground rumbling under his feet. His hands turn cold and his knees wobble. He feels so weak all of a sudden and all the excitement was by an unknown force, as well all the energy he has on that day.

"What!?" he's miserable.

Chanyeol hisses through his teeth and says, "That guy, he said he'll tell you. Dude we gotta go to the airport NOW!"

 

 

~*~

 

 

For the second time in his life, he felt hopeless and helpless once again. It's like during the time when his Dad picked him up from school, but only to rush to the hospital where his dead mother is waiting for him to see. It's just like now. The similarity is that he didn't see them both coming. He didn't expect these things to happen to him and now it's happening again. One of the most important people in his life will leave him again without even saying goodbye. It hurts him too. Just a goodbye is enough. His mom never said goodbye to him before she left this world and now Kyungsoo is repeating the scene again absentmindedly, not knowing that he's hurting Jongin from how he kept this as a secret from him. Jongin has feelings for him, he won't deny that. It's even fine with him if they could just stay as friends, but what is he really to him? If he's a friend, he should have told him he's leaving. He should have given him a reply last night; I'm leaving to States tomorrow so he wouldn't be stupidly waiting for nothing for him. Good thing Chanyeol came, and damn, he feels so miserable, he's frustrated and he doesn't know how to feel anymore. His mind is a mess. Everything around him spins round and round. There are too much people. There is the sound of airplane engines roaring to life whatsoever. People are saying goodbye to their love ones while the others welcome who were back from who knows where. Jongin keeps walking and walking, he keeps running and running, he keeps on looking and looking and when he finally sees the schedule for departure to America, Jongin's tears erupt from his eyes and his chest hurts just like when he saw his mom sleeping peacefully on a bed and his dad tells him that mom will never wake up again, say goodbye.

Why the people who are closest to his heart leave him without even saying goodbye? Doesn't he deserve a goodbye, and they do?

Jongin stares out of the overlooking window where the huge aircraft is getting ready to take off.

Whether Kyungsoo is there on that plane or not, he doesn't say goodbye. He will never say goodbye, not with Kyungsoo whom he wants to see again next time.

"See you again." he mumbles under his breath and leaves with a sad crying heart.

Chanyeol sighs in relief as he finds him walking out of the terminal with his head hung low. Chanyeol runs up to him and doesn't say anything. He feels sad for his friend, but he can't do anything. Maybe this is what should suppose to be.

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo is gone.

 

 

His confession is left unspoken.

 

 

~*~

 

 

The loud sounds echoed in the whole house and Jongin won't stop chewing on his cheese flavored popcorn, getting his fingers greasy. He is comfortably settling on the couch with his father beside him while they watch an action movie called Death Race. This is their bonding time whenever his father rents a thriller or action movies. They would always huddle on the couch facing their flat screen television and turn their house to a theatrical home.

They are both focused on the mind blowing plot of the movie and Jongin is gripping on his bowl of popcorn as the most awaited final race commences on the movie.

An hour and a half, the movie ends and the credits roll on the screen.

"Dad? I have a serious question." he's now sitting on the couch with one leg tucked under the other.

"If that's Math, I can't give you a correct answer." his father smiles tightly.

"No Dad, it's not school related. It's about me." Jongin's serious reply.

His father scrunches his eyebrows together, "Jongin, don't tell me you got a woman pregnant?"

"That's it--"

"Jongin--"

"No Dad I think I can't get a woman pregnant now." Jongin says hastily in order not to be cut off by his father again.

His father's voice dropped to almost nothing. His eyes are narrowing. "Are you impotent?"

"No--N-No, it's not like that." his tone is just enough for his father to hear. Not too high to defend something and not too low to keep a secret behind.

"Get straight to the point Kim Jongin." his father instigates. He emphasizes every word he says.

Jongin takes a lungful of air and exhales through his mouth.

"I'm gay."  He says with full conviction while his eyes meet his father's judging eyes and they are striking through his soul which is scary. He's nervous. He feels like crying because this is it. It's possible for his father to kick him out of their house and curse him for being a spawn of Satan or anything hurtful than that. He can't afford to be away from his father. He's been both his mother and father at the same time after his mother died. He can't just keep his new found ual preference to himself, his father deserves to know it as well and he has never been secretive to his Dad, well except for the part that he hid about his stalker and the part that he had a friend to be his fake boyfriend.

"I'm sorry Dad," he lowers his head along with his voice and the television is already turned off. He hears his father sigh disappointedly, standing up from his seat before trudging out from his sight.

He never said anything.

He has already seen this coming. But it would be more relieving if his father has said something like, 'You're a disgrace' or something worse than that, because from that, at least it would be clear to him that his father abhors him, that his father is disgusted with him and that he disappointed him for turning to be like that when they both knew before that he's straighter than spaghetti. But this is his choice and his father wouldn't be able to force him to become straight anymore. It's fixed. But then and again, his father didn't lash on him which he prefers more than silent treatment. He knows it wouldn't be easy for a parent to accept that his kid prefers the same as his partner. It's not easy. Not at all.

But this is better than getting caught by his father without telling him that he's like that.

It has never been easy for himself as well to finally accept his true identity, but it will be fine as time moves on and besides, he's only gay for one person--Kyungsoo.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Days pass by and he's been out most of the times to play street basketball in their village. Chanyeol is mostly with him all the time. He's been the only one he's telling his worries and problems and he is grateful that his friend willingly listens to him even if he's been always repetitive. Chanyeol knows about his conflict with his father. He and his father are still not in good terms. He avoids Jongin at all cost, but still prepares food for him. They lack of conversations and bonding which is unusual for the both of them and it's been going on for two weeks. Jongin is sad of course. He loves his father from the bottom of his heart and he's very thankful that he's not like the others who becomes a drunkard, who gambles money and who brings random women in the house to play with just to kill time. He's thankful that his father has stayed with him all along. He's been a good father to him and he's been his role model ever since, promising himself that one day when he becomes a father, he will be like him--a loving husband and a loving father at the same time.

Jongin wants to return the old times when he and his father would just bond like close friends. Well, he considers his Dad as his bestfriend. He wants to do something, but can't think of any. He's tired of ignoring his father when they almost see each other every single day.

A loud knock came banging on his door and he removes his ear buds from his ears. His pulse picks up speed, because it's obviously that his father is the one knocking on his door. He wonders what he needs. He wonders if he'll say, "I accept you." or "I'm sorry for ignoring you for two weeks."

A lot of possibilities linger in his mind. Would they be back to being the same close father-to-son relationship?

Carding his fingers through his hair, he gets up from his bed to open his door. There, his father stands, stoic face on, but his dark bags are prominent under his eyes. They are just both restless for days.

"Can you run an errand for me?" he asks with his deep gruff voice.

Jongin doesn't say anything, but nod his head. His father s him a bill and says, "I need this book Unlucky 13 from James Patterson. I need that book.”

With a nod of understanding whilst typing the title and the author of the book in his phone, his father suddenly utters the unexpected words that made Jongin froze in his spot.

"I am not mad at you. Disappointed, yes, but not angry at all," he pauses. Jongin wouldn't meet his eyes as he remains his eyes focus on the wooden floor. "Maybe it will just take a long for me to accept this. You're my son and it's not my duty to abandon you just because you're--" he clears his throat. He can't say the word. "you know what I mean."

Jongin darts his eyes up to meet with his father's sincere eyes. "Thank you Dad."

No hugs came after, but just small smiles and an assurance that his Dad will still accept him no matter what he is.

 

 

~*~

 

 

His feet pad over the marbled floor, hands buried deep in his pockets as he darts his head from left to right, top to bottom. The place isn't crowded or empty of people; just enough regular customers come in with their calm faces and curious eyes. He digs his upper teeth on his lower lip; tongue soon drags along the seams of his lips, before a smile spreads on his face as he finds his sole purpose there.

"James Patterson..." His finger glides on the row of books under the thriller section, crouching down to its level, eyes trailing on bold lettered titles.

Pulling out the book from its place, he fleets his eyes over the price tag behind it and smiles to know that his Dad has given him enough money to buy that book. Good thing his dad gave him enough.

Jongin is about to go towards the cashier to pay for the book when his eyes soon land on a familiar small stature, small face, pale skin, jet black hair and round eyes.

Time stops for him and everything moves in slow motion as he stares.

"Kyungsoo..." he mumbles under his breath. Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo. It rings like a mantra in his head. How long it has been since he last saw him? One month? Wait, maybe he's hallucinating, but no, it's really Kyungsoo across from him browsing books under the classical novels, body crouching down as he skims on the titles of each book. But then he heaves a sigh and straightens up with an upset look on his face as he didn't find the book he's looking for. Jongin freezes on his spot and he stares. He stares and stares until Kyungsoo starts leaving the aisle, turning a corner and stepping his foot out of the bookstore when Jongin finally wakes up from his trance. It couldn't be. Kyungsoo left for States right? Then why on earth is he here in Seoul? But his question wouldn't be answered if he loses Kyungsoo, so he runs and leaves his aisle, the book falling on the tiled floors left forgotten as he carries his legs and makes his way out of the book store with his heart hammering as fast like a runner's heart pace would have.

Luckily, he is able to grab the small male by his shoulder and spins him around to make him face him. "Kyungsoo!"

Kyungsoo's eyes turn wider like full moons for almost three seconds as he registers what had just transpired. Once Jongin's presence registers in his mind, his shocked expression turns to a look of displeasure. "J-Jongin..."

Jongin couldn't keep the smile he wants to muster at the moment. He's very pleased to see Kyungsoo again and this time, he will not waste this opportunity to be able to talk to him. "You're here. I thought you left to-"

Kyungsoo pries off his hand on his shoulder and turns away. "I'm sorry." he says before stepping away, but Jongin is able to grab his wrist.

"Look we need to talk." he enunciates carefully with eagerness in his tone.

"I know I should have told you Jongin but--" he gets cut off instantly and Jongin shakes his head.

"It's not about that Kyungsoo."

"Well, fancy seeing you here--" his words are soon muffled by warm and soft lips as Jongin seals a kiss with him without a warning. He had just taken grabbed of Kyungsoo's pale and smooth neck to connect their lips together. It didn't last for a minute, but the seconds their lips meet, it's like the angels from heaven starts singing and rainbows and fireworks color around their bearings. They pull apart, the blush on Kyungsoo's cheeks are very eye-catching and Jongin gazes at him intently, softly and Kyungsoo's knees feel weak and he feels like a cotton candy slowly melting away.

"Damnit--" He pushes Jongin off of him harshly while fuming in anger. His cheeks down to his neck are redder and Jongin isn't sure if it's from the kiss or from anger that he just stole a kiss from Kyungsoo confidently. Either way, he didn't regret it. In-fact, he wants to do this a long time ago, but he prolongs his chance to do so and it was unexpected that Kyungsoo left wordlessly and now he's back unexpectedly. He's very unpredictable indeed.

"W-Why did you kiss me?" Kyungsoo grits his teeth and no matter how his cute face contorts to an expression of anger, he's still adorable in Jongin's eyes.

"What do you think?" Jongin answers him back with a question and everything seems to pause at the moment. The people passing by them becomes a blur in his sight, their voices becomes a buzz in his ears and all he could feel is hands being clammy and cold in his touch. All he could see is Kyungsoo, all he could hear is Kyungsoo's voice and all he could feel is his heart beating faster against his chest.

"Stop messing up with me Jongin. We're over right? Or don't tell me you got another stalker and you're lucky to see me here to ask me to be your fake boyfriend again? Is that your agenda? Because to be honest I don't want to pretend anymore."

"Neither do I."

"What?"

"I don't want to pretend anymore Kyungsoo-"

"You kissed me--"

"I know--"

"I don't want to get involved with your games--"

"I love you!"

"That's crazy."

"Very."

Kyungsoo bites his bottom lip and mumbles, trying to maintain their eye-contact. "I can't pretend anymore I'm sorry--"

"Why didn't you leave?" Jongin interrupts. He sounds so wounded and sad about it.

The small male sounded almost angry about it. He hates it when people interrupt him when he has something important to say. "I'm leaving--" he takes a step forward, but Jongin grabs his arm and his grip is too tight. Kyungsoo tries to wriggle away from him, because he’s done with him. He doesn’t want to get involved with Jongin again, because ever since he did, his peaceful life haven’t been peaceful anymore and he wants to stop seeing him because he’s falling to a bottomless pit where no one, not even Jongin would dare catch him. They are different. Kyungsoo is gay. Jongin is straight. Being real with him is too much to ask for.

"Kyungsoo I am not yet done with you."

"I am done with you because being with you gives me chest aches. I need to leave."

"What do I have to do to make you believe that I mean it when I said I love you?"

Kyungsoo stops on his tracks and when he wheels around to face Jongin again, the boy surprised him because he’s already on his knees as if begging him to stay and everyone’s eyes are all set on them while the others doesn’t give a about them, well, Kyungsoo doesn’t give a about them too and he just wants to throw his shoe on Jongin’s face for making a scene inside the mall.

"What are you doing? Yah get up from there everyone is watching!" he berates; his cheeks are reddening from embarrassment. Dear Lord what he has done to deserve this?

"Let them see me. Let them know how desperate I am to have you for real this time." Jongin is crazy. Kyungsoo thinks he’s crazy. He needs to go to the mental hospital. Or maybe he should be telling that to himself, because he’s getting crazy from what’s happening.

"Get up," Kyungsoo admonishes, but Jonginis stubborn.

"I won't, not until you give me a chance to prove to you that I love you. I mean it Kyungsoo. Did you know that I was hurt too to know that you left me without telling me you plan to study abroad? I felt like I'm nothing to you! And the reason why I told you before that this pretend is done and you've done your part as my fake boyfriend, I'm not planning to stop seeing you." his voice is barely a whisper, but audible. "I want you to be my real boyfriend, because from those months I've been with you, I learned to like you. And if you let me, let me love you even if I know you’re straight." His last words decreased in volume.

"Are you serious?" Kyungsoo's eyes got big and watery. “I’m not straight idiot!”

Jongin finally stands on his ground with wide wide eyes that could rival Kyungsoo’s huge ones. “But you said you’re—“

“Shut up and just kiss me idiot!”

Because in situations like this, some things don't matter. There is always time to talk about things they haven't explained about to each other before.

“What—“

Their lips meet again. It molded perfectly and Kyungsoo’s grip on Jongin’s collar tightens. The kiss turns to something more passionate and all they could think about is how sweet they taste like. This story is so sweet. This scene isn’t from a drama. This is not fictional. This is real. This is it. This is the day they’re both waiting for, when the unspoken words are said through the beating of their hearts in sync, loudly, fast, erratic and god this is heavenly.

Breathlessly, they pulled away from each other to catch their breaths and Jongin couldn’t believe this is happening. Finally. Goodness gracious thank you.

He pulls Kyungsoo closer to him once again and kisses him again in the middle of the crowd. Who cares if people are watching them, judging them, laughing at them? So what if two people with the same are kissing in public? They are in-love and it’s not a crime at all.

At this very moment, the only thing that matters is what their hearts are screaming for.

“Kyungsoo,”

“Jongin,”

They said in chorus and with a smile etched on their lips.

“I love you too idiot.” Kyungsoo answers back, blinking back the happy tears that threaten to fall.

 

Well, they couldn’t get enough so they kiss again before weaving their fingers together, and just like their routine before, they walk home with their mutual feelings said.

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

“Dad, I’m home!”

 

“Who is this? Why are you holding hands with him?”

 

“Dad, remember Kyungsoo? This is him, my boyfriend.”

 

 

 

Sooner or later, this is real.

 

Heck, it’s finally real.

 

 

 

 

“So where’s the book I’m asking for?”

 

Jongin turns to Kyungsoo with a sheepish smile, “Kyungsoo, can you accompany back to the mall?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FIN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Wait, wait, wait!" he interrupts, eyes are glowing from amusement and fascination of the knowledge he's being fed up with. "So basically, Daddy Nini is straight and you Daddy Soo isn't, but Daddy Nini doesn't know and he fall in-love with you for real?"

The three cup of coffees laden on the table has turned cold from being ignored for an hour and a half as the story goes on until its end.

"Exactly Jongsoo." Jongin agrees with a broad smile, fingers curled around his mug as he finally takes a sip. His face contorts in distaste, because cold coffee doesn't appeal him.

Kyungsoo laughs softly right beside him; his forehead's wrinkles are more prominent closer. "It's true. It's like a roller coaster ride with your Dad. It was scary, painful, and very fun experience. But it wouldn't be more fun if he didn't like me back. Yet he did."

Jongin snakes his arm around his husband's waist and pulls him closer to him. "Your Daddy Kyungsoo is one of a kind. All my life I expected to marry a pretty woman, but when he came, my world flipped upside down and here we are, happily married and happily raising you up to be a good kid."

"Daddies, I'm already fifteen and living like an angel." Their adopted child Jongsoo tells with his lips curving into a pout.

"Shut up kid, you're living the thug life." Jongin laughs out loud, filling the spacious room with his boisterous laughter.

Kyungsoo didn't disagree, but laughs along with Jongin. He leans his head over his husband's left shoulder and says, "Even if you try living a thug life, you're still my angel."

Jongsoo is scoffing with his arms crossed, "Just because I broke a rule in school doesn't mean I'm already living a dangerous life."

"You're just exploring,"

"Yeah."

"Daddy Jongin, can't you even say no to Daddy Soo?"

"Of course when he's asking to make love with me."

"Jongin!"

"It's true."

"Damn, fine."

"Active rabbits." Their son enunciates clearly.

"Rabbits in-love." Jongin tells haughtily, fingers laced with his other half and ends it with a chaste kiss on the lips.

The snow is falling outside. The temperature is freezing, but Kyungsoo and Jongin's love story is as warmer as their hands together can be.