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On the next morning after Christmas Chanyeol wakes up to an armful of warmth – Baekhyun was half on top of him sleeping serenely snoring quietly. A smile graces his face that very instant, soothing his hand up and down Baekhyun’s clothed back sighing as he basked at the serenity of his surroundings. He looks out the window only to be greeted by a few rays of sunlight that peeked through the still overcast sky; it seems the gloomy weather will not be going away anytime soon. However, despite that, the warmth that fills Chanyeol’s penthouse was more than enough to make up for it.

Everything, from the memory of yesterday to the very sight he is seeing at the moment to the person in his arms, flutters his heart in immense joy. The reality of things had yet to settle in and still felt like a dream he had yet to wake up from.

It amused him, how he had never felt such kind of joy in the past. Not even with Yejin whom he thought he already loved dearly back then. But then comes in Baekhyun, barging in his life after a tragic happening that he thought he would never move on from, and brought upon change in ways he still had yet to understand. If one were to ask Chanyeol this is probably what true love feels like – that kind of fated love where everything just feels unexplainably…right.

Baekhyun stirring in his sleep gets Chanyeol distracted. Quietly whining as he snuggled closer to the warmth of his body, burying his face on the crook of Chanyeol’s neck that sent a tingling tickling sensation.

Feeling overjoyed, Chanyeol tightens his arm around him; circling his other arm around his waist to bring Baekhyun even closer than they already are while tangling their legs in the process. He stays in this position for another thirty minutes. Not at all caring how his arms had started to feel numb over the weight, letting the situation at hand sink in the reality little by little. Every second that passes as the clock ticks is held precious and not a waste.

Thirty minutes was long enough for the clouds to slowly make way a little hole for the sun’s rays to go through fully, beaming a small portion of the city with scattered rays, creating a seeming magical scene out of a picture book. Chanyeol watches everything. The peaceful sight had him sighing onto Baekhyun’s hair and breathing in slowly the faint smell of his own shampoo that never fails to make his heart skip a beat; feeling an odd possessiveness over him.

Chanyeol muses more about his past in regards of his relationship between Yejin and Baekhyun. There was no meaning to compare but the vast differences of the two was too hard not to. All the more at the fact that he had yet to clear his penthouse of any of the mementos she had left.

While he does not deny that he indeed did love Yejin a lot, it was not to the point that he thought of a future with her. While the idea of marrying her used to be a pleasant thought, dwelling on the subject was something he would always push aside. On the few times she would bring it up, he only went along for the sake of it. He had always told himself: if they were meant to be, then they were meant to be, if not, then accept and move on. The fear of losing her was rooted from something else entirely.

“Ha…ppy.”

“Cha….ngh…ye..ol…”

He hears Baekhyun mumble in his sleep, gripping tighter the front of his shirt. This had him laughing lightheartedly then kissing his temple as he felt a burst of happiness.

Now that he thought about it, while he did love Yejin, it was different from the love he felt for Baekhyun. There was fear and dependency attached from loving her. The sole fear of being left alone encased him every time she was not by his side. He dependent on her for filling an empty gap he felt, albeit always temporary. There was always that expectation that every time they are together he would forget everything and just be happy. She was his pillar after all. The pillar he leaned onto when he longed for the love and support his drifted family could not give – a sort of distraction, a substitute. She gave him warmth he had always craved for that he only, regretfully, lately realized have been long given by his friends – he was only too blind to see.

So losing Yejin was like losing a sanity pill – keeping him sane from the fear of being abandoned alone and surrounded by darkness.

When Baekhyun finally wakes up, rubbing his eyes from sleep, and finally noticing that he was awake, he mumbles a barely coherent good morning. Fluttering Chanyeol’s heart he kisses him right then and there. Baekhyun is then left in a shy daze after he pulls away but nonetheless graces him a shy smile. The blossoming pink on his cheeks having Chanyeol kiss him once more – a chaste sweet but also passionate kiss that left Baekhyun breathless. He could not help himself; his heart was just too full of joy.

But his love for Baekhyun was entirely different. Because the love he felt for him was just…unexplainable. There was no fear of loneliness or dependency attached. He did not love him to continuously and temporarily fill in an empty gaping hole but loves him because…he just does. And the thought of losing him was on another level of pain. That kind of pain you feel when you are going to lose your other half. The fear he felt was not that of being left alone, but just losing Baekhyun as a whole.

Funny, how love works and how complicated it is.

♠♠♠

For the rest of the morning, they spend it cuddling with each other; only separating to do their morning routine and Chanyeol preparing for breakfast. It was silent for the most part, but as always, it never bothered them, and in fact, comforted them. The mere presence of each other was more than enough to fill in expected conversation. And this time around, their actions spoke the most.

Baekhyun’s lovely eye smile, Chanyeol’s fond smile. Baekhyun’s childish antics, Chanyeol’s laughter. Baekhyun’s playful pouting and shy ask of kisses, Chanyeol’s nuzzling of noses and neck and giving in to the kisses. Their tickle fights that had both of their laughter resound all throughout the penthouse.

Their actions speaking volumes of conveying their utmost love for each other.

“Still no Mimi and Foofoo?” Baekhyun asks tilting his head who, was cutely seated all curled up on the couch beside Chanyeol as they watched TV.

“Tomorrow, you’ll get to see them tomorrow…okay?” Tapping his nose fondly, Chanyeol answers as he puts an arm over the couch above Baekhyun’s shoulders.

“Why? Do they love the cats that much they don’t wanna give them back?” He asks playfully that had Chanyeol laughing.

“You could say that. The kids just adore them too much.”

“The kids, I want to see them too.”

“One of these days you will. I promise.”

“Okay~” Baekhyun nuzzles his head on Chanyeol’s cheek that had the other smiling widely.

Looking back to the time he was still together with Yejin, Chanyeol’s mornings were never filled with this kind of happiness. Most of the time, he greeted his mornings with a sense of loneliness, a sense of…emptiness. On those times, he was eager to leave his pent and meet anyone to distract him from the negative feelings. Most preferably meet Yejin who, that time, he considered as the only person who could fully take his mind off things.

By late morning, the sky was now fully overcast by thick clouds, no more the rays or sign of the sun. It had begun to rain, large droplets hitting the wide full-length windows enough to hear it from inside, distracting Baekhyun who silently watched instead of the television upfront. By his side, Chanyeol notices his distraction, and looks out to equally watch the rain pitter-pater on the window.

“You love the rain, right?” Chanyeol brings in closer his lover, resting Baekhyun’s back against his chest as he leaves a kiss on the crown of his head.

“Mmm…” Baekhyun rests his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder as he sighs in the tranquility of his surroundings. “I like it…it’s…just nice.”

Chanyeol leaves a chaste kiss on his neck, leaves another below his ear, and another on his cheek; all done in a slow manner that poured out his feelings for the other, his chest in a swirl of emotions – warmth, happiness, love.

In response, Baekhyun finally turns to face him, linking their hands in the process as he asks a question.

“Do you not like the rain?”

“I used to hate it.” Chanyeol looks out the window – the sky dark and horizon unseen. “It’s a gloomy cold weather, always made me feel…lonely.”

“But I don’t anymore.” He looks back at his lover. “You showed me its beauty.”

Baekhyun’s sweet smile flutters his heart for the nth time, and he smiles in return as they go back to watching – one at the television, while the other the rain.

Before he met Byun Baekhyun, everything around Chanyeol was nothing more than just…that. The rain was nothing more but a gloomy weather nature poured out of the sky. The sunlight was nothing more than light lighting up the city as a sign of day. His penthouse was nothing more but an empty luxurious dwelling he chose to live in far away from the mansion in hopes to lessen the suffocating feeling he felt when living there, because despite its hugeness it felt like a cage.

For a moment, Chanyeol looks around the living room, looking through the traces of Yejin that are scattered about, feeling the softness of the rug underneath his feet that was the biggest trace of all.

Filling the penthouse with her presence through material objects was Chanyeol’s unconscious way of coping through the everyday feeling of void. For every object added that is connected to her, from her, dwindled the hollow feeling of his heart.

By the time lunch rolls in, the tranquility within the penthouse was finally interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Chanyeol having stood up to answer it, while Baekhyun remains on the couch still lost at the sight and sounds outside the window.

Before opening the door, Chanyeol already knew who was waiting behind – having talked about it beforehand and a plan to surprise Baekhyun who had sent in messages the day before of missful texts to their friends.

And as soon as he opens the door, he is greeted by Junmyeon’s motherly smile, showing him a few bags of groceries he brought for their lunch – he was adamant on feeding the two boys for today.

“Chanyeol, hello,” a fond greeting.

The next to greet was Kyungsoo from behind, carrying another set of bags as well. Chanyeol can tell the hesitance he had for this is his first time coming over to his place, and a penthouse no less. With awe and a hint of shyness, Kyungsoo bows slightly in greeting.

“Hi Chanyeol.”

“Come in.” Chanyeol welcomes them; feeling a surge of