fifty-four

I am because we are (Ubuntu) [Permanent Hiatus]
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On the late morning of Christmas, Baekhyun is the first to wake up, greeted by the serene sleeping face of Chanyeol whose lips seem to have a quirk on its sides as if he was smiling in his sleep. Absentmindedly, he leaves fleeting touches on his face, his heart fluttering while he does so. Unbelieving of the warm companion he has this year – a huge contrast to the lonely cold worn out sheets he wakes up to the Christmases before. Watching Chanyeol in his sleep had him momentarily forgetting where he was, and only remembers when his arm grazes unfamiliar sheets beneath.

 

Sighing silently, Baekhyun sits up, careful of not waking up the other, to look at his surroundings, dazed once again of the room before him. The room’s interior was a lot clearer in daylight, more so with the sunlight coming in from the windows; the rain having long stopped as the night passed.

 

Chanyeol’s bedroom was simple. Shiny wooden floors with a large gray carpet covering the bed’s area, fancy blue curtains adorning the two large windows, all drawn apart for the light to seep through. A small chandelier by the ceilings center, walls a plain beige color, and a classic couch on one side.

 

Baekhyun glides his hand on the royal blue bedsheets, tracing the little silver patterns with amusement. The bed, placed at the center of one wall, was just as big as the bed back in the penthouse; at least that part was familiar. On the other side of the bed, opposite the windows, was a large portrait of Chanyeol. He stares at it, admiring the details of the painting as well as Chanyeol’s handsome features. It seems the portrait was painted way past judging from the young looks Chanyeol had then compared to now. His big grin beautifully captured by the artist, a detailed painting with the wrinkles on the side of his eyes. So this is the used to be ever so happy Park Chanyeol.

 

“I had to sit still for hours for that. It’s straining and your face eventually goes numb.” Chanyeol’s deep raspy voice startles him, an arm circling around his waist pulling him to lie back down again. “Hey.” He greets as Baekhyun faces him, his own way of greeting good morning.

 

No reply was made. Instead, Baekhyun nudges Chanyeol’s nose with his as his own greeting – his pretty eye smile telling Chanyeol his own silent good morning.

 

They stare at each other for a while, comfortable silence engulfing them both; their smiles never leaving their lips. As Chanyeol cups his face with a hand, Baekhyun leans in to the touch – squeezing his hand in between his neck and shoulder cutely with a closed lip smile widening that turn his eyes into tiny slit crescents. This had Chanyeol feeling all fuzzy inside, the feeling of love overwhelming his heart and mind that he doesn’t hold back from kissing him – leaning in slowly to connect their lips. All worries of morning breath pushed aside by the tingling feeling of joy.

 

The kiss starts slow, much like their second kiss that was gentle and magical to both – only the mere touch of lips with slight movement. It ends after a few seconds; but they don’t pull away, leaving only a mere breath distance between them.

 

Their eyes were too close to each other’s that had Baekhyun going crossed eyed on purpose, eliciting laughter from the other. The joy Chanyeol felt had him pulling Baekhyun by his nape to kiss him once more; this time, a little more passionate.

 

It starts with light laughter, the movement of their lips amidst the smiles on their faces. But soon, the laughter and smiles die down and replaced by only the sounds of their breathing and the sounds of lips against one another. From here on, Chanyeol lets his heart that is skipping beats at the moment, control his actions; mind turning into a mess to even think rational.

With a hand circling Baekhyun’s waist pulling him closer against him, with the other gently gripping his nape – Chanyeol his lover’s lips.

 

Mind too clouded by warmth, love, and the current kiss, Baekhyun simply follows – hands clutching tightly Chanyeol’s clothed chest. The sudden feeling of tongue against lips had him gasping, shyly slightly opening his mouth to let the other in, completely letting Chanyeol take control.

 

The first touch of tongue against tongue was shy and sweet; no hint of force and impatience. The shy play of tongues sends both to a frenzy clouded mind.

For Chanyeol, his thoughts were at a blank state. The moment their tongues meet, it felt like his heart exploded to an overwhelming feeling of both excitement and love. And as his tongue explored Baekhyun’s mouth, it felt like he had finally begun marking him as his – a mere simple act that held profound meaning.

For Baekhyun, his thoughts were blank but at the same time messy. The moment their tongues meet, it felt like fireworks exploded around him – an overwhelming feeling of excitement thumping his heart rapidly. And as Chanyeol’s tongue entangles his, he felt like melting. His toes curling from below that Chanyeol could feel against his shin.

 

When Chanyeol finally pulls away for air, they are both left in a daze. For a moment, they simply stare at each other, mind still too clouded to react to their first play of tongues.

 

The first to clear his mind was Chanyeol. And as he looked at Baekhyun – lips red, plump and shiny from the wet of their saliva, eyes hazy and panting out of breath, a mad flush on his cheeks – he smiles. Once again, he kisses him – three innocent pecks with the last a playful sloppy one before he completely pulls away. The reaction he receives next had his heart fluttering in immense delight.

 

The last three pecks Chanyeol gave him brought Baekhyun back from his daze, the reality of what just happened sinking in making him feel sudden embarrassment. What got him fully reacting were Chanyeol’s smile and just the way he looked at him – eyes full of very evident love. This had him whining, hiding his face behind his hands, pushing down onto the bed as if trying to make it engulf him to hide his current state. Rationality long gone and replaced by a confusing mix of embarrassment, happiness, and giddy feelings – his insides fluttering with a thousand butterflies at what just happened.

 

Laughing and amused of the adorable reaction, Chanyeol pulls him into an embrace. Engulfing him with at most his whole body – tangling their legs tightly together, arms circled around the other, body almost on top. And due to immense happiness, he playfully nuzzles his nose on Baekhyun’s neck, eliciting even more embarrassed whines from the other.

 

 

Normally, a make-out is seen as ually passionate that would usually lead to both wanting more, hot and bothered after the exchange. But to both Chanyeol and Baekhyun, it remains innocent as it is passionate. The euphoric after feeling of each sends both to a bliss that added to the already joyful Christmas.

 

 

 

 

They do not leave bed right after, letting time pass as they continue to bask in the warmth of each other’s presence and the still giddy feelings of their innocent passionate kiss. Baekhyun simply plays with the design on Chanyeol’s shirt, lightly tracing it as he avoids the other’s eyes. While Chanyeol silently and fondly watches Baekhyun, a hand on his hip with its thumb drawing random images, smiling at the still flushed cheeks of his lover.

 

They are only interrupted by a knock on the door, the muffled voice of an old lady filling the otherwise quiet room.

 

“Chanyeol? Are you awake now? Lunch is ready.”

 

“Door’s open Aunt Yuhjung.” Chanyeol calls out.

 

Not a moment too soon, the door opens revealing Aunt Yuhjung who peaked in, causing Baekhyun a massive like heart attack for being caught in the same bed. Causing him to squeak as he immediately sat up and put distance between them, cheeks back to flushing a mad red.

Shyly, he bows in greeting the old maid; a fairly silent mumbled good morning.

 

Beside him, Chanyeol too sits upright, although not as alarmed as Baekhyun – calm even. He greets Aunt Yuhjung with a faint eye smile.

“We’ll be right down auntie.”

 

In response, the old maid had on a knowing smile of amusement; her eyes sparkling at the sight of the two – now surely – lovers. All the more at Chanyeol’s beautiful eye smile that she missed so much. Before she leaves, she nods back in greeting both; closing the door gently and once again leaving the two in silence.

 

 

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

After doing their daily morning routine, Baekhyun still avoiding Chanyeol’s eyes for the most part – still feeling utterly shy; they trudge down the stairs, passed the dining hall, and into the kitchen.

This time, Baekhyun was too busy still feeling embarrassed of both the kiss and Aunt Yuhjung seeing them on bed, to bother with his surroundings. Not even the delicious smell of a newly cooked meal disrupted him.

 

At the kitchen, both Aunt Yuhjung and Sunghee were seen preparing their young masters’ meals – setting up a simple table setting at the center island of the kitchen and laying out a few dishes. Baekhyun follows suit as Chanyeol sits on one of the stools and sits beside him.

This had him wondering for a bit. Why are they eating in the kitchen and not at the dining room where others would usually eat their meals? Unaware that he had a frown on while he looked at the dining’s direction, Aunt Yuhjung fills him in.

 

“Chanyeol chooses to eat here along with us rather than eat out there alone at the dining.” She takes off her apron and takes one of the stools across to sit on, joined in by Sunghee who sat beside her.

 

Before he was able to make a reply, a familiar voice greets them lively – the same man from last night joining in for the meal.

“Oho~ Good morning my lovely ladies~” The old man tips his hat off, placing it on one side of the island as he takes his seat by the side. “Good morning Sir Chanyeol.”

 

“Please drop the Sir, Uncle Jangsoo.” Chanyeol chuckles in his seat.

 

“Oh well indeed then, Chanyeol.” He playfully replies that had the others laughing.

 

He turns to Baekhyun next, bowing slightly in respect still aware of his position in the mansion. “And a good morning to you too Chanyeol’s lovely guest.” his voice raspy due to old age but nonetheless welcoming.

 

“B-Baekhyun, my name is Baekhyun.” He greets shyly in return; taken aback by the unexpected situation.

 

“Sir Baekhyun! Welcome to the Park’s mansion. Do hope you enjoy your stay. It’s very delighting to meet Chanyeol’s special guest.” He said rather knowingly.

 

“Oh please Jangsoo, enough with the formalities.” Aunt Yuhjung interrupts while chuckling. “Now enjoy your meal Sir Baekhyun, I prepared that especially for you.”

 

“Please-- don’t call me Sir…” Baekhyun said shyly, still adamantly denying the formal address.

 

All Baekhyun received in response were fond smiles from all four that he was unaware of as he started to eat, still exuding a very shy demeanor.

 

 

For the first time in a long time, the Park’s household was filled with laughter. The lunch meal spent animatedly as Uncle Jangsoo cracked jokes every now and then, his playful bickering with the two ladies bringing joy to the table. The joy they felt multiplied even more as they were finally able to hear the sounds of laughter they had missed so much from their young master, Chanyeol. Although still not the same boisterous laughter as before, it was enough to make them happy. And with the addition of Baekhyun, who was still shy for the most part as he was still new, brought warmth to their hearts.

 

Not a word of Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s relationship was said. No comment or affirmation was made. Their actions and the way they looked at each other was enough proof of who Baekhyun is to their young master. And for that, they felt relief and thankful.

 

Sunghee couldn’t help the smile on her face as she ate her meal, watching Chanyeol smile fondly at Baekhyun who only glanced at him shyly every few minutes as they ate.

 

They were the few witnesses to Chanyeol’s breakdown a year ago. The fight – the heated exchange of angry voices between him and his mother – was something not easy to miss and was almost audible around the whole mansion; their screams bouncing and echoing off the mansion walls. They were present when Chanyeol locked himself in his room refusing to go out nor talk to anyone for days – only allowing Aunt Yuhjung in to hand him his needs. They were there when a few weeks later; Chanyeol finally decides to leave his room but smile no longer present. Instead, they were greeted by a blank, indifferent young master.

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exocholic
[Ubuntu] Hello! Just to let everyone know, a little update on the last chapter, it's already on the works! It looks like it's going to be a very long chapter though. So I may have to see if I'll update with what I currently have or just the whole last chapter in one go. But finally getting there! 😭

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MyLipsOnEXOs
#1
This fic is definitely the perfect one for winter. If anyone scrolls the comments they’ll see how often I reread this! At this point I would buy a physical copy of it.
Maya1990
#2
Chapter 95: When I saw in the title that it's in permanent huatus I went to the last ch to see where did it stopped and I swear to god I cried .... the pain I felt was REAL, the last 1000 words broke my heart 💔 now I want to read the whole thing knowing very well it will get me depressed
JuliaByun #3
Chapter 95: August 2023 and I still long for this story 🥹 I keep coming back because it demands my attention. I hope you’re doing great and well authornim ❤️❤️
walkinginmoonlight #4
Chapter 95: Ahh sometimes I get reminded of this fic and just how like, lovely it is? It's been years since I've last reread it, but I still remember it fondly, gosh the times when it had just started I still clearly remember. I was just reminded of aff being a thing today and had to try and remember my login.. I cannot remember if I commented on this chapter already but! Even if it's not the complete end, it's half of the end, so we've come pretty far since the beginning 😊 I know updates went from quick to rather slow, but seeing it's been awhile I got a bit worried so checked your twitter, and it's nice to see you're still doing well! Or, seemingly doing well. That you're still around and still enjoying our EXOs~❤️ so I hope you are doing well! And thank you for the very memorable fic 😊
MyLipsOnEXOs
#5
I've lost count of which rereading this is but this shall definitely always be my comfort fic. Whether it's the writing style or the details or the flow or the characters or maybe all of that together, there's just something that has me always coming back.

I read this for the first time in 2018, 5 years later it still holds a special place in my heart. I usually avoid starting new fics that haven't been updated recently, but just like my very first comment on this fic "It's on permanent hiatus but the foreword has me entranced so I will read it", the story is truly entrancing and gosh I'm grateful I read it!
Exofanland #6
Chapter 95: had to reread the last few chap bc its been so long and yes i am still crying my eyes out.
dreaming777
#7
Chapter 95: Hi there, I've left my aff account for so long an happy to see this update!!!! And truthfully I didn't expect I would still bawled my eyes out 😭
uwuness
#8
i keep coming back here just to check if authornim's have an update but no rush authornim, i can still wait :)))))) i'll reread this again because i'm missing this so much~

take care always~
uwuness
#9
i miss this so much 😭
hearteututu #10
Chapter 95: I’m back after many years and this made me cry so much. I really love this story and can still remember every scene vividly. Tysm for this wonderful and heartfelt chapter 💕