thirty-nine

I am because we are (Ubuntu) [Permanent Hiatus]
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Word Count: 3663

 

 

 

It was a little passed eight, the exhibit venue hardly with any people as majority have taken their places outside for the awaiting closing ceremonies. Standing by his exhibit wall, Baekhyun blankly watches people come and go while Kyungsoo talked to his other friends who were in the same venue. They plan to join the rest a little after ceremonies has begun, not really interested in closing preparations and speeches. For a while everything was calm and at peace, even amidst the whole noise and little chaos, all were of fun and laughter. But it was shaken by a sudden shriek at the entrance, a sudden swarm of people gathered inside crowding around the person that has barely entered.

 

Having caught the attention and mildly curious, Baekhyun looks at what the commotion is all about. He tip toes to try and look passed the heads only to see Jongin smiling at the center, his fans currently at the area surrounding him with squeals and even more congratulations of his performance the day before. He then looks to Kyungsoo’s direction and giggles at the silently fuming sight of his friend.

 

A little while later, Jongin moves out of the venue and trailed by the rest of the crowd who had swarmed around him earlier. Kyungsoo turns to Baekhyun and looked at him oddly with a knowing smile – wasn’t he just jealous a while ago?

 

“Would you mind explaining to me what these artworks mean?”

A deep voice from behind startles him. He freezes as he recognizes who it belongs to.

 

Turning around, he is rendered speechless as he was greeted by Chanyeol’s back who was looking at his paintings.

 

 

Due to the silence, Chanyeol turns slightly to look at Baekhyun and raises his eyebrows as he waits. He smiles though at the suddenly stuttering boy.

 

“Uh… umm.. it’s uh… a..”

 

Chanyeol lets out a light chuckle at the cute display of surprise and looks away again, returning his gaze back to the artworks on the wall.

“I wasn’t able to pass yours at my last visit.” He explains. “I won’t let the festival end without me doing so.”

 

 

A surge of warmth and giddy feelings fill Baekhyun, his heart pounding at the unexpected appearance of Chanyeol as well as nervousness of the attention this may cause like the last time.

 

Finally composing himself, Baekhyun looks around to see if the tall member of Team E.B. has gotten any attention; oddly though, he hasn’t. It seems Jongin was in on a plan the whole time that he has distracted majority of the people within the venue earlier and have brought them elsewhere; only a few number of people remained inside but were mostly distracted in their own world to notice Park Chanyeol.

Immediately, Baekhyun goes to stand beside Chanyeol, still maintaining his ‘professional host’ attitude and proceeded to explain his artworks.. at least, he tried to do so. He ends up standing with a mouth gaping like a fish, trying to decide what exactly to say – shy at the fact that Chanyeol is looking through his artworks; works that he has unintentionally poured out personal feelings into.

 

Standing in front of a painting, Chanyeol looks at it with admiration, both at the skill and the image itself. It was a painting of a simple house but done beautifully showing raw emotions in its – of a paintbrush dipped in different colors of watercolor making a soft image of a simple two story home. Its colors not too bright but not too dull either, perfectly emphasizing the house’s beauty in its simplicity.

 

Dream. The title reads. This had Chanyeol’s heart swelling in proudness and in warmth – proud of Baekhyun’s obvious talent and warmth at the thought of a future. He laughs silently at the glimpse of a future image with Baekhyun.

 

“This is your dream home?” He asks in a loving manner.

 

“Yes. I know it’s too simple but…”

 

“No.” He cuts Baekhyun off sensing the insecurity in his voice. “It’s perfect.”

 

 

Moving on to the next painting, Chanyeol stands in front of an image of two cats – one seated straight in all its white glory, its eyes a bold color of gold and blue while the other curled beside with a cute of head and ears folded down. A bigger smile makes its way onto his face, his cats.. No. Their cats were illustrated perfectly by Baekhyun.

 

I saw love. The title reads. He slightly raises an eyebrow at the seeming vague title of the painting, definitely confusing those who do not know the meaning behind it.

 

“Saw love…” He reads with a chuckle.

 

Embarrassed and flustered, Baekhyun stutters out an explanation, cheeks turning a mad flush of reds.

“Ye-yeah. I mean… They’re cats. Full of love. How can you not love them? They’re… They’re too cute and–“ He rambles incoherently.

 

Seeing the cute madly blushing attempt to explain himself beside him, he chuckles a little louder.

“I see, I see.” He nods amused.

 

The other paintings were just as equally done in skill and beauty. Chanyeol may not be an artist nor does he know how this is all exactly made. But even in his amateur eyes, he can tell the emotions put into it by the artist, a rare gifted talent. He glances at Baekhyun who was currently looking down avoiding his eyes, still a blush on his cheeks. And thought how amazing he is, both as an artist and as a person. He smiles at the thought, chest filled with fluttering warmth.

 

But then, as he walks further to the rest, he notices the gradual change of mood. The first few paintings were light hearted, beauty radiating in both skill and emotion. But the last few were a contrast, a melancholic feeling to each. These works held a different emotion than the rest, sadness shown at both the image and the words on the image. The typography drawn in a way that showed the artist’s hidden feelings.

 

“Everything will pass. Be strong, and hold on.” --

Title: Needed strength

 

“Don’t let your past define, destroy, or defeat you.

Let your past strengthen you.” --

Title: Reminder

 

The titles had Chanyeol glancing at Baekhyun in concern. He was about to ask what these meant but was stopped when he noticed the last, catching his attention even more.

 

“I was always hungry for love. Just once, I

wanted to know what it was like to get my

fill of it—to be fed so much love I couldn’t

take any more. Just once.

- Haruki Murakami” --

Title: A wish

 

“What do these mean?” Chanyeol tries to ask casually.

 

“Oh… Nothing.” Baekhyun answers as he looks at his works with a smile that unconsciously reflected sadness that Chanyeol did not miss. “Found them randomly. Thought their meanings were beautiful, is all.”

 

Heart swelling in tingling pain at both the paintings and the sight of Baekhyun’s odd reflecting sadness, Chanyeol did not know what to say. In the end he brushes off his concern and curiosity, deciding to not further ask anything and only do so when in private.

 

 

For a moment, all was silent. Chanyeol is still looking through the paintings continuing to admire Baekhyun’s skill. Leaving Baekhyun all flushed and embarrassed following behind, momentarily distracting Chanyeol of his earlier curiosity as he is left amused at the cuteness.

 

“Do you want to watch the fireworks together?” He asks quietly, cautious of the people around but thankful that they were the only ones at this corner.

 

“How?” Looking up, Baekhyun answers with hope and wonder. “Can we?”

 

In reply, Chanyeol merely smiles as he answers. “Yes. Go with Kyungsoo and he’ll take you.”

 

Without another word, Chanyeol leaves. And after a moment he had left, Kyungsoo appears beside him.

 

“Hey Baek~” Kyungsoo holds his hand. “We should leave now if we want to catch the fireworks.”

 

Suddenly high with emotions of excitement, the thought of watching the fireworks with Chanyeol exciting him more than ever, Baekhyun follows without a word as Kyungsoo pulls him out in a rush.

 

 

 

The seaside just beyond the university by the edge of the city was where Kyungsoo’s driver took them. Upon stepping out, Baekhyun immediately recognized the place despite the change of the surroundings as it was night time. He remembered that this was where it all started between him and Chanyeol. A pleasant memory that a brought a smile on his lips.

 

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exocholic
[Ubuntu] Hello! Just to let everyone know, a little update on the last chapter, it's already on the works! It looks like it's going to be a very long chapter though. So I may have to see if I'll update with what I currently have or just the whole last chapter in one go. But finally getting there! 😭

Comments

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MyLipsOnEXOs
#1
This fic is definitely the perfect one for winter. If anyone scrolls the comments they’ll see how often I reread this! At this point I would buy a physical copy of it.
Maya1990
#2
Chapter 95: When I saw in the title that it's in permanent huatus I went to the last ch to see where did it stopped and I swear to god I cried .... the pain I felt was REAL, the last 1000 words broke my heart 💔 now I want to read the whole thing knowing very well it will get me depressed
JuliaByun #3
Chapter 95: August 2023 and I still long for this story 🥹 I keep coming back because it demands my attention. I hope you’re doing great and well authornim ❤️❤️
walkinginmoonlight #4
Chapter 95: Ahh sometimes I get reminded of this fic and just how like, lovely it is? It's been years since I've last reread it, but I still remember it fondly, gosh the times when it had just started I still clearly remember. I was just reminded of aff being a thing today and had to try and remember my login.. I cannot remember if I commented on this chapter already but! Even if it's not the complete end, it's half of the end, so we've come pretty far since the beginning 😊 I know updates went from quick to rather slow, but seeing it's been awhile I got a bit worried so checked your twitter, and it's nice to see you're still doing well! Or, seemingly doing well. That you're still around and still enjoying our EXOs~❤️ so I hope you are doing well! And thank you for the very memorable fic 😊
MyLipsOnEXOs
#5
I've lost count of which rereading this is but this shall definitely always be my comfort fic. Whether it's the writing style or the details or the flow or the characters or maybe all of that together, there's just something that has me always coming back.

I read this for the first time in 2018, 5 years later it still holds a special place in my heart. I usually avoid starting new fics that haven't been updated recently, but just like my very first comment on this fic "It's on permanent hiatus but the foreword has me entranced so I will read it", the story is truly entrancing and gosh I'm grateful I read it!
Exofanland #6
Chapter 95: had to reread the last few chap bc its been so long and yes i am still crying my eyes out.
dreaming777
#7
Chapter 95: Hi there, I've left my aff account for so long an happy to see this update!!!! And truthfully I didn't expect I would still bawled my eyes out 😭
uwuness
#8
i keep coming back here just to check if authornim's have an update but no rush authornim, i can still wait :)))))) i'll reread this again because i'm missing this so much~

take care always~
uwuness
#9
i miss this so much 😭
hearteututu #10
Chapter 95: I’m back after many years and this made me cry so much. I really love this story and can still remember every scene vividly. Tysm for this wonderful and heartfelt chapter 💕