thirty-eight

I am because we are (Ubuntu) [Permanent Hiatus]
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Word Count: 4083

 

 

 

The third and final day of the yearends was pretty uneventful compared to the last two days. The only thing anticipated of this day was the much awaited fireworks, the mark of the closing of the university’s festivities as well an early celebration of the ending of the year. Majority of the students excited for the beginning of holiday break the very next day.

Much to Baekhyun’s mixed gratefulness and annoyance; he spends the last day of his exhibit with Kyungsoo, his friend oddly clinging to him like a koala for most of the day. Amber and the two other girls as well as their co-staff Sulli and Grandpa Hoon also visited him, and just like the last two days, Baekhyun tours them happily and proudly.

Fortunately as well, Yongguk and his friends were nowhere in sight. It was as if they decided to take an early day holiday break – which was against the rules as it was unfair to the rest who have stayed; but then again, their elite status paved way to their unfair freedom, no one daring to oppose not even their head. To which, Baekhyun is rather more thankful than frustrated because then he can relax all throughout the day free of worry.

 

 

For the whole day, Baekhyun spent it with Kyungsoo walking around campus and checking out other events from the different departments.

 

They went to check out the rows of mannequins displayed by the runway of yesterday’s fashion show, having a chance to have a closer look of the different design of clothes. Along it was other themed designs, exhibiting fashion not only of what was seen in yesterday’s event but the other works of students.

Kyungsoo squeals at Tao’s designs – the detail of the clothings’ up close just shows how skillful their friend was in clothe making. On the other end, Baekhyun couldn’t help but laugh at the children’s section of the fashion exhibit. Looking through the adorably designed clothes and Tao’s catching his attention due to its note.

 

“Made in inspiration of the Bee; yellow and bright, pure like a child.”

 

For those outside their circle, the whole description would have only made little sense. But for people within Team E.B.’s circle, it made perfect sense.

 

They went to check out Kyungsoo’s side of the event, a glorious show of different foods that left Baekhyun drooling out of hunger, eliciting laughter from Kyungsoo who kept handing him different foods to taste.

“Soo~” He whined. “You’re going to make me fat.”

“Oh c’mon Baek, this is cheesecake! Who dares refuse it!”

 

“Baekkie! Taste this.”

“But I’m full.”

 

“Baekhyunnie!! Say aaahhh…”

“NoooOoooOOOoAaaaahhh…”

 

 

Despite having not seen Team E.B. the whole day, they were too distracted of other things to bother the want of seeing their friends. However, due to their happy distractions, they fail to notice that Team E.B. on the other hand, have seen them all throughout.

 

Hanging out by the outside cafeteria, Jongdae and Tao spot Baekhyun and Kyungsoo happily chatting as they make their way out to the fields where other booths were set-up.

“Wish we could invite them here.” Tao sighs as he noticed.

Jongdae simply watches them longingly as he ate his snack.

 

 

Seated by a bench under a tree by the fields, Chanyeol and Jongin spot their two friends pushing each other playfully near a booth. They both watch with fondness – one chuckling as the other smiling widely.

“They’re cute, aren’t they?” Jongin says as he smiles at Kyungsoo playfully pushing Baekhyun.

“They are.” Chanyeol answers, chuckling at Baekhyun who pushed back in revenge but ended up nearly tripping himself.

 

For a moment it was quiet, save for the light chuckles the two let out as they continue to watch their two partners play adorably like little five year olds from afar. However, Jongin breaks the silence first.

 

“Say hyung?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“About… Yejin..” Jongin says hesitantly.

 

If before Chanyeol would feel a sudden rush of anger at the mere ask of question, now he simply sighs as he expects that one by one, they would begin to ask. He has shut them out for too long that he failed to realize how worried they have all been but how patient and understanding they were at the same time. Something Chanyeol is immensely grateful for.

Han Yejin, his ex-girlfriend. After restless days and sleepless nights after he had seen her again, Chanyeol is left confused. Not of his feelings – no, definitely not that, but of what to do next.

 

“What about Yejin?”

 

Still hesitant, Jongin asks. “What do you plan to do?.. Now that she’s back.”

 

“I honestly don’t know.” Chanyeol answers just as confused. “What exactly am I supposed to do?”

 

Not sure what to answer and not expecting anything said further, Jongin remains silent, but was soon surprised as Chanyeol continues.

 

“Do you think I should talk to her? Seek answers for the Why’s.”

“Or do I just leave it at that. Continue loving Baekhyun as is.”

 

“…unsure if I’d ever let go one day.” He mutters last.

 

For the longest time since Chanyeol’s change, this is the first time he opened up. Jongin watches him, not sure how to answer; feelings mixed with a little happiness because Chanyeol is talking to him, actually talking to him and not the mere answer of short phrases matched with a blank expressionless face and monotone voice. Still though, he tries.

 

“Why unsure?”

“You love Baekhyun; you’ll eventually move on… you already are, aren’t you?”

 

Surprising Jongin again, Chanyeol turns to him with a faint smile. With a reflection of sadness in his eyes, he answers.

 

“Moved on from loving Yejin? Yes, I have. But moved on from the anger and bitterness…”

 

“…No, I haven’t.”

 

No reply was given from Jongin, too speechless of what to say and how to reply. He simply nods his head in understanding. They both turn back to where Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were; now currently sharing a plate of cake, Kyungsoo feeding Baekhyun like his little baby while Baekhyun whines like a bratty kid failing to reject the offer.

 

As Chanyeol is distracted by the adorable sight of the two friends interacting from afar, Jongin beside him is filled with thoughts of now clarity and more understanding. He somehow understands what Chanyeol was trying to say. Yejin left them too abruptly and without warning, Chanyeol wasn’t the only one who had questions left unanswered; he too was left by a friend. But if Jongin and the rest of them, anger dissipated as time went by, it was doubly harder for Chanyeol who loved her on a more personal level. He may have moved on to loving Baekhyun, but loving him as a whole without thoughts and questions of his past, he has still yet to achieve.

 

 

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

By the side of a building near Baekhyun’s exhibit, Junmyeon was walking through the garden on his way to Minho's building but was stopped by a sight he feared seeing again. From afar, although all covered up in disguise, he can see Baekhyun wave a happy hello to Yejin, pulling her inside the exhibit to talk about who knows what. Panic fills his mind and out of a whim, walks toward the exhibit’s exit to wait.

 

Alone but not bothered by people, except for the occasional hi hello’s of his admirers, Junmyeon sits by a distance away from the exit. He reads a book, pretending that that was his only purpose of sitting alone. It took a nearly thirty wait before Yejin emerged at the exit, saying goodbye to a Baekhyun who happily screamed his gratefulness for the visit. Junmyeon stands immediately; discreet of purpose from the other people around but makes himself known to the person he now desperately needed to confront.

 

Surprised and taken aback at the familiar figure a few feet away, Yejin freezes. But she does not miss the desperate look of her once friend, a silent plea to have a talk. Looking away to not attract attention, she nods her head and leaves. Junmyeon follows behind.

 

 

Location mouthed at the exit, they separate. Yejin leaves first while Junmyeon is found by Minho, who in turn was informed of the awaiting confrontation and offered to drive him to said location.

 

The drive to the café, a place faraway from campus they have met often before all the chaos, was silent. Minho drives in silence glancing every now and then at the slightly fidgeting Junmyeon, judging by his restless hands on his lap.

 

“What do you plan to do?” He asks.

 

Not looking away the window, Junmyeon answers with voice filled with worry and confusion.

“I’m not sure. But I need to know if she knows about Baekhyun and intends to…”

 

“You think she would do such?”

 

“I don’t know.” Junmyeon sighs in defeat. “I really don’t know I don’t want to believe but… No. No she can’t do that. I know her. Despite all she’s done she’s still… she’s still a good person.” He rambles mindlessly, trying to assure himself.

 

“Do you think… Chanyeol’s mother has anything to do with her coming back..?” Minho asks hesitantly, fear brewing inside of different possible scenarios.

 

Junmyeon doesn’t answer, but the mention of Chanyeol’s mother had him feeling even more in panic and desperate.

 

 

 

At the café, Yejin arrives first and patiently but nervously waits. This is the first confrontation she’ll be facing and she’s honestly filled with fear and an -I am not ready- talk to herself. Gulping with restless hands – on the table, on her lap, on her chin, resting her forehead on her knuckles, enough for the waiter to even ask her if she’s okay; she looks around nervously. For every loud tingling of the café’s bell, she’s left inhaling in fear and exhaling in relief because it is not the person she is expecting.

The confrontation was inevitable, she knew. But she thought she’d gather the courage first before doing so. She disappeared for months on end, nearly a year now even, she honestly did not know what to expect. But then again, she’s been hyping herself up for the past weeks, when exactly will she be ready.

 

 

At the appearance of not only Junmyeon but Minho too, she freezes; all color in her face drains leaving her pale. Sensing the extreme nervousness from Yejin and seeing the paling of her face, Junmyeon quietly asks Minho if they could be left alone; and so he does, leaving them in privacy.

 

Minho seats himself far across from them, his back turned from Yejin to lessen her obvious anxiety, while Junmyeon sits across the table from her.

 

Awkward. That’s what they are at the moment, awkward. And yet even though, they still stare at each other, speechless of what to say, who to talk first.

 

As he is older, Junmyeon takes it into his hands to initiate first, a light greeting; smiling as he does so to attempt to light

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exocholic
[Ubuntu] Hello! Just to let everyone know, a little update on the last chapter, it's already on the works! It looks like it's going to be a very long chapter though. So I may have to see if I'll update with what I currently have or just the whole last chapter in one go. But finally getting there! 😭

Comments

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MyLipsOnEXOs
#1
This fic is definitely the perfect one for winter. If anyone scrolls the comments they’ll see how often I reread this! At this point I would buy a physical copy of it.
Maya1990
#2
Chapter 95: When I saw in the title that it's in permanent huatus I went to the last ch to see where did it stopped and I swear to god I cried .... the pain I felt was REAL, the last 1000 words broke my heart 💔 now I want to read the whole thing knowing very well it will get me depressed
JuliaByun #3
Chapter 95: August 2023 and I still long for this story 🥹 I keep coming back because it demands my attention. I hope you’re doing great and well authornim ❤️❤️
walkinginmoonlight #4
Chapter 95: Ahh sometimes I get reminded of this fic and just how like, lovely it is? It's been years since I've last reread it, but I still remember it fondly, gosh the times when it had just started I still clearly remember. I was just reminded of aff being a thing today and had to try and remember my login.. I cannot remember if I commented on this chapter already but! Even if it's not the complete end, it's half of the end, so we've come pretty far since the beginning 😊 I know updates went from quick to rather slow, but seeing it's been awhile I got a bit worried so checked your twitter, and it's nice to see you're still doing well! Or, seemingly doing well. That you're still around and still enjoying our EXOs~❤️ so I hope you are doing well! And thank you for the very memorable fic 😊
MyLipsOnEXOs
#5
I've lost count of which rereading this is but this shall definitely always be my comfort fic. Whether it's the writing style or the details or the flow or the characters or maybe all of that together, there's just something that has me always coming back.

I read this for the first time in 2018, 5 years later it still holds a special place in my heart. I usually avoid starting new fics that haven't been updated recently, but just like my very first comment on this fic "It's on permanent hiatus but the foreword has me entranced so I will read it", the story is truly entrancing and gosh I'm grateful I read it!
Exofanland #6
Chapter 95: had to reread the last few chap bc its been so long and yes i am still crying my eyes out.
dreaming777
#7
Chapter 95: Hi there, I've left my aff account for so long an happy to see this update!!!! And truthfully I didn't expect I would still bawled my eyes out 😭
uwuness
#8
i keep coming back here just to check if authornim's have an update but no rush authornim, i can still wait :)))))) i'll reread this again because i'm missing this so much~

take care always~
uwuness
#9
i miss this so much 😭
hearteututu #10
Chapter 95: I’m back after many years and this made me cry so much. I really love this story and can still remember every scene vividly. Tysm for this wonderful and heartfelt chapter 💕