Story Review

Story Review by  Lady Comma's Reviews & Recommendations [ALWAYS OPEN!]

Story Title: Sign Seeker
Author: mushroom_soup
Genre(s): Romance
Brief Description: 26 year old Sandara Park writes a letter to her 16 year old self. A short story (with 5 chapters) about a girl who uses signs to help her decide on things.
Rated H: No
Reviewed By: CarlyNan916

1. Title: [4/5 pts.]
The title goes very well with the theme of the story, plus it’s very simple.  Simple titles are very good to not reveal a lot of things.  But to be honest, if I were to go on AFF just to browse and saw the title, I don’t know if I would check it out solely on the title.

2. Poster/Graphics/Background: [-/5 pts.]
You have none of these, so your total at the end will be 95 instead of 100. :)

3. Foreword/Description: [7/10 pts.]
I kinda got turned off with the description.  I understand that your story is based on something else, but when you say it’s ‘quite similar’, it gives me the feeling that the story wasn’t completely thought of yourself.  However, the foreword was nicely written, which brought your score up a little bit.

4. Plot: [25/30 pts]
The plot was very cute.  Though I couldn’t get into it in the first chapter, I started really liking it once Dara was finding her signs!  You did a very great job portraying that.  Plus, Jiyong and Dara were so cute! :D

5. Flow: [5/5 pts.]
I gotta say, the flow was very consistent.  You didn’t go too fast and skip anything but at the same time, didn’t go too slow and drag it out.  It went at the perfect pace and I was able to easily keep up.  Great job!

6. Characterization: [4.5/5 pts.]
You wrote your characters very well, but the only thing I had a problem with was the fact that I couldn’t really connect with any of them.  I had some fluttery moments with them, but I really couldn’t connect with any of them.

7. Grammar/Spelling: [17/20 pts.]
There weren’t many errors in your fic, but there were only two things that really bothered me when I read it.  They weren’t anything major, but I’d still like to point them out.

1.  You used a lot of ellipses (these things → …) throughout.  Try not using those as much and your writing will look just a little bit better.
2.  Try not using little emoticon faces, either.  I had seen somewhere that you used a symbol like this: (>.<).  You usually don’t write these at all in writing.  But I just wanted to point that out to you!

8. Overall Enjoyment/Entertainment: [18/20 pts.]
I loved it overall!  There were parts I definitely thought were adorable, the way you wrote the couple’s interaction was great, and I really enjoyed reading it.  Unfortunately, with the lack of connection and my interest not being sparked until chapter 2, I had to take off a few points.

Total:  [80.5/95]