PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

zakiahwings

Title ( 10/10 )

- ‘Perfect Imperfection’ is a nice choice. It really suitable with the story. It attracted me and makes me curious about what will happen in the story. Nice job!

Description and Foreword ( 8/10 )

- The description is good. I really like it especially the character’s description. I love the way you show the connections between Kyungsoo and Jiah in the story. The description explains a lot, now no one will get confused while reading if they had already read the description/foreword. But there are few errors with plural/singular words, and grammar but you can still understand the text. Example, ‘Sometimes, he HATE his disability. He HATE it so much because he SEEMES like a burden to everyone.’ But it’s okay, just a simple mistake.

Plot ( 18/20 )

- I really love your idea. The plot is just, Wow! Your story really touches my heart. The messages behind it make me think twice whether I am a good friend or not. Did I treat people well? And I think I never come across with a story with a plot like this. One more thing is, I thought this story would have a happy ending. But it’s not and the ending has breaks my heart into million pieces. Well it’s your story and I must say that your plot is splendid. You have done a great job, authornim. A big applause for you!

Character Development ( 12/15 )

- I think your character development is great. Kyungsoo the emotionless boy and Jiah the kind-hearted girl. Kyungsoo’s character development is the best. The way he always try to deny his feelings or actions. It’s good. But there is one thing that makes me sad. I wish you could explain more about Kris’s character. I am curious why did Kris act like that? Does he really hate Kyungsoo? But why? If I am not mistake, he is Kyungsoo’s friend before the accident. I wish I know why Kris did that specifically.

Grammar, Spelling and Sentences Structures (13/15 )

- I am happy that I found just a few spelling mistake that is not too obvious such as ‘My parents, well, they are my aunty and uncle, noticed DIFFERENE of me day by day after I met you.’ I think you should also work on your plural/singular nouns, and work on past tense, present tense, etc.. Other than that, great job. Here are the few mistakes that I notice :

‘And once again, he was late for class; he didn’t receive any help FOR anybody even though it was obvious that he needED help with his wheelchair.’ 
‘He wasn’t happy that she kept staring at HER for like the whole time.’ 
‘Kyungsoo slapped mentally.’

The last example I put, what actually did Kyungsoo slapped? So, I suggest maybe you can hire a beta to correct the little mistakes. ( Sorry, if I offended you :( )

Flow of the Story ( 9/10 )

- The flow of the story is good. It’s not too fast and the readers can catch the messages you try to deliver. And also understand well the story. Good job! :)

Writing Style ( 8/10 )

- Your writing style is nice. It doesn’t make the readers confused or misunderstand the story. Also I notice that you wrote the story majority in past tense. I don’t say that it is not good but if you want to do that, make sure when you want to change the tense to present, please look at the verbs because there is a time when you wrote the situation in past tense but the verbs is present tense. My little advice, a simple mistake can sometimes lead the reader to lose interest.

Overall Enjoyment ( 10/10 )

- I really love this story. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story with me. This story makes me cry T_T because I thought that Kyungsoo will live at the end. And his letter for Jiah, why is it so sad when I read it? This story is daebak! To sum up, I hope you can accept my opinion from the point of view a reader and forgive me if what I said was wrong.

Final Score ( 88 / 100 )

- Keep it up your great work in the future and I wish to see more of your stories after this. You’re a great author! *thumbs up*