As the leader of one of korea's top girl groups, I was expected to always stay composed and controlled in certain situations which proved to be an easy task for someone like me. Let me elaborate further on that.

You see, I'm the type of person who always keeps their thoughts and emotions bottled up inside which admittedly, isn't very healthy. I've always been told to express myself more and to let out my emotions but the truth is, I don't know how. After all these years of being the introverted dork that I am, I forgot how to set my emotions free.

There have only been a few people who have actually taken the time to break down my walls and because of the amount of care I give to those few people, I am sometimes misunderstood. In a way, I need to keep composed but it destroys me from the inside out. The only peolple who understand that I am the way I am are my family and my precious members but because of a certain situation I drove one of those precious members away.

Jessica has always been a straightforward and honest person. I admired her so much for that, I could only wish I could be like her but I've come to believe that maybe because of our differences,mwe wouldn't get along very well. After coming to this conclusion, I've been avoiding her for exactly 28 days. Yes, I really counted.

During that torturous month, Jessica has been trying to catch my attention in every way possible and it broke my heart every single time I turned away from her. I wanted to laugh at her lame jokes and I wanted to smile with her. God, you have no idea how much I wanted to but I couldn't risk a rift in the soshibond because it could destroy Girl's Generation.