Baekhyun can only sleep fitfully since three years ago. He has nightmares every night. He’s too scared to close his eyes. He's too scared to find out if the guy will come again. The only one guy he ever loved. The one that left many scars on Baekhyun. Not only to his physical self but to his mental self as well. His painful first love.

***

Jongdae entered his home cheerfully when his mother happily greeted him at the door.

“You’re here! Kyuhyun’s already here as well!” His mother informed him.

“Seriously?” Jongdae said smiling and went to living room to come face to face with an evil yet welcoming grin.

“Jongdae-ya!” The man cross the gap between them quickly and pulled the younger into a warm embrace.

“Kyuhyun Hyung! Long time no see!” Jongdae chirped, patting the other’s back.

Kyuhyun smiled and freed Jongdae from the hug. “My friend’s moving in next door. Thought I’d visit since I was helping him to move his stuff here. He’s your new neighbour.”

“Is he a psychiatrist too?” Jongdae asked when they finally fell comfortably onto the sofa.

“No.” Kyuhyun snickered and sprawled across the soft sofa cushions. “He’s my patient actually.”

“Your friend is your patient?” Jongdae’s eyes widened.

Kyuhyun nodded as he picked up a cup of tea from the table and sipped it.

“Uhm… is he sick… mentally?” Jongdae asked hesitantly, letting curiosity get the better of him.

Cho Kyuhyun is Jongdae’s cousin and works as a psychiatrist. They’re really close because they like singing and playing Starcraft together.

“Well…,” Kyuhyun paused as he thought briefly. “He suffered severe depression but he’s getting better now.”

“What happened to him?” Jongdae asked again.

Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow. “You know I can’t talk about my patients’s conditions.”

Jongdae grinned. “Well… I’m just curious, hyung. You shouldn’t have told me anything to begin with.” Jongdae said as he blew his fringe out of his eyes.

Kyuhyun chuckled. “It’s alright now. He’s much better now. It all started when… he got a boyfriend about three years ago.” Kyuhyun began.

“Then?”

“My friend is the only son of a rich family. His family owns a global business that has major branches all over the world.. What do you think they would do if they knew about his ual orientation?” Kyuhyun stared at Jongdae.

“Um…” Jongdae thought and looked away, not sure of his answer. “They’d get angry?” He guessed and shrugged.

Kyuhyun shook his head. “It’s worst, Jongdae-ya. His family kicked him out of their home. At first, it wasn’t really a problem. He still had money and his card. He rented an apartment and lived there with his boyfriend.”

“They lived together? That’s risky, right?!” Jongdae shouted in disbelief at Kyuhyun’s friend’s actions.

“Like I said before, it wasn’t really a problem at first. They lived happily. His boyfriend is younger than him and me. He’s an orphan. He’s cute and has a unique voice. He likes singing too. We like to hang out together at karaoke bar.” Kyuhyun smiled as he recalled the happy memories.

 “So…what happened?” Jongdae responded, sounding more impatient than curious.

“They lived happily, and even promised to leave Korea and get married in another country. After being kicked out, my friend worked at this one supermarket. His boss was really nice. He was doing well; his diligence and hard work earned him his boss’s trust and he was promoted quickly. But, suddenly he got fired.”

“Your friend got fired?” Jongdae replied with a frown.

Kyuhyun nodded weakly. “Yeah. My friend argued back and said his performance was really good to the point of even being promoted. So, why did he get fired? He told me that his boss looked frightened and said softly that there were some peoples coming to his supermarket and threatening him to fire my friend or his supermarket will be closed forever.”

“God!” Jongdae yelled. “Sounds way too similar to a drama. I bet it was his family right?”

“Yep, exactly. The power of his family was huge. My friend got really angry and disappointed. At that time, his boyfriend worked as a singer in a café. His pay wasn’t much but it was enough for both of them. My friend tried to search for another job but no one accepted him.”

Jongdae gritted his teeth while Kyuhyun continued.

“His card also finally got blocked. He went to the bank and asked why the card was suddenly blocked and the bank employee couldn’t give him a reason. My friend believes it was his family again. His boyfriend was really supportive though. He said it was okay that he worked alone. The important thing was that they lived happily together. But my friend couldn’t handle the guilt and started drinking it away. He drank everyday and eventually burned through their own savings. The money they were planning to use leave Korea someday.”

“What happened next?” Jongdae asked quickly, sitting on the edge of his seat as worst case scenarios flashed in his mind.

“As I said before, my friend suffered severe depression and at the time wasn’t thinking straight. He…. he beat up his boyfriend. At first his boyfriend let it go because my friend was drunk. Because he cried and asked for forgiveness after what he did. But unfortunately it didn’t stop there. After three months it continued and they became unhappy. I visited him one day. When I arrived at their apartment, it was remnants of chaos. There was glass shattered everywhere, the table clothes were on the floor, their cupboards were wide open and I noticed that the empty space in them were once where his boyfriend’s belongings were. My friend was on the floor and he was crying. He told me his boyfriend had left him. When I saw him, I knew his condition was bad. So I took him to my home and treated him. It took him a while to calm down before he could tell me what happened. It started with his family, then his work, then his drunk habit and all resulted in domestic abuse of his partner.”

“That’s heart-breaking. But your friend didn’t have the right to abuse his partner.” Jongdae commented bitterly.

“That’s how I thought about it at first. But, could you imagine if you were in his position? Your family turned your back on you. You want to live with someone that you love, but it ends up ruining your life and his or her’s. I can’t imagine it. I don't want to imagine it. Why? Because I’m afraid I’ll do exactly the same.” Kyuhyun grimaced softly.

Jongdae is speechless. Kyuhyun hyung is right. What if I was in his position? He asked himself, reasoning with his conscience.

“So, I can’t scold him. He’s regrets everything he did. Now, he’s really getting better and is searching for his boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend technically. He goes to every café he can and asks about him. But sadly, no luck yet.”

“What happened with his family? Have they finally accepted your friend’s orientation?” Jongdae asked after getting over the initial surprise that Kyuhyun’s friend was searching for his ex.

“Yup. After they witnessed their son’s hardships, they finally reflected on their actions. They accepted him whole-heartedly and promised to start over. After that, my friend lived with his parents again for a while. He helped his father with their company. Now, he’s moved in your next door. He wants to live independently as he focuses on searching for his ex. Plus, the location’s near the Seoul Hospital and my house.”

“What happened with his ex? No news at all?”

Kyuhyun shook his head. “My friend lived with his ex in Incheon before. When I took him to my house, he kept saying his ex’s name in his dreams every night. I went to Incheon and asked the landlady if she knew anything about them when they were living together. The landlady said that my friend’s ex came before with bruises on his face. She was worried and asked him to stay. But he didn’t want to. He said he didn’t have time and he needed money. The landlady is really kind hearted and close with my friend’s ex. She asked him about what happened to his face. But he just said he was in a rush and promised to pay back the money soon. The landlady finally gave him some money and asked where he was planning to go. He said he wanted to leave Incheon and go to Seoul because there are many cafés there and he believed he’d get a new job easily.”

“So, your friend move to Seoul for his ex?”

“Yeah. He’s searching for him. He really regrets everything, you know? He’s reflected much over the past three years. Actually, I also want to meet his ex. I’m afraid that he’s developed trauma and mental disorders as a result of the past. I want to help and treat him too. Maybe if you went to some cafés you could help looking for him too Jongdae-ya.”

A certain café flashed inside Jongdae’s mind. “What’s his name Hyung?”

“Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun. His surname isn’t common, right?” Kyuhyun said.

Jongdae widened his eyes. A familiar name.

***

“YAH PARK CHANYEOL! Did you listen to me?” Jongdae shouted exasperatingly.

“Huh? Yeah, of course. No, sorry Jongdae can you repeat that? Wait a moment. Taehyung came to our house…YAH PARK JIMIN HOW DARE YOU TOOK MY WALLET???!!! Oh God that kid! Okay what did you said Jongdae?” Chanyeol calmed down after dealing with the commotion and refocusing on his phone.

Jongdae sighed. “Byun Baekhyun. It’s really familiar, right? But I can’t remember where I  heard it.”

“What? Oh yeah, he’s the sassy waiter at Karma Café. Why’d you ask about him?”

Jongdae clicked his fingers in realization. “Oh right! The one with thick eyeliner?”

“Yep. Why’d you ask about him?” Chanyeol frowned, sligthtly jealous.

“Nothing. Just asked. Calm down dude, I’m not interested in him.” Jongdae reassured his tall friend.

“Well I’m not!” Chanyeol exclaimed shamelessly, not hiding his feelings as well as he had hoped.

“Yeah, yeah!” Jongdae yawned. “Talk to you later. Bye!”

Jongdae hung up the phone and let his mind wander for a few moments.

***

“Taehyung-ah, are you done? Let’s pay and go home!” Jimin shouted at his friend, Kim Taehyung.

“Is it really okay to use Chanyeol’s hyung’s money?” Taehyung asked doubtfully.

“No problem! He has a lot of it anyway!” Jimin grinned and opened the wallet before his mouth fell open in shock. It was absolutely empty.

Jimin paled and Taehyun noticed. “What. What is it?”

“Chanyeol hyung… doesn’t have any money.” Jimin explained wearily, a mixture of annoyance and harsh disappointment.

Taehyung’s eyes widened. “YAH! That’s why I was totally against this, Jimin-ah! What should we do now!?” Taehyung frowned and bit his nails. A bad habit.

“We should call Chanyeol hyung. Did you bring your phone Taehyung-ah? I left my phone at home!” Jimin asked impatiently.

“I brought it, but it’s at really low battery.” Taehyung shook his head.

“Let’s go to the cashier first and ask if we can borrow their phone.” Jimin suggested and led the other to the cashier.

“Hello. Cash or card?” Luhan greeted them.

“Um… can we use the phone?” Jimin asked slowly and pointed to the telephone beside the cashier.

Luhan’s brows furrowed. “Oh... okay.”

“Thanks!” Jimin said hurriedly with a grin and punched his older brother’s number into the phone.

“Cha… Chanyeol hyung! It’s me, Jimin. Hyung, you should come here.” Jimin whispered to the phone so Luhan couldn’t hear their conversation.

“No way! You ran away with my wallet even though I told you to stop.” Chanyeol answered nonchalantly.

“Hyung jebal! Please!” Jimin begged, using a whining tone.

Taehyung frowned at the scene and snatched the phone from Jimin.

“Chanyeol hyung it’s me Taehyung. Yeah, I already scolded him hyung and I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop him before but could you please come here to the Karma Café and help pay for our meal? Don't do it for Jimin, do it for me.” Taehyung persuaded Chanyeol.

Chanyeol groaned. “Aarggh. Why can’t you be my brother instead, Taehyung-ah? Okay. Wait for me there.”

“Thanks Chanyeol hyung!” Taehyung beamed and put back the telephone.

“Did both of you not bring any money?” Luhan asked slowly, understanding the general gist of their situation from the phone call.

“He stole his brother’s wallet to pay, but failed to realize his brother’s broke. He didn’t check it first.” Taehyung stated impassively and pointed to the shamed and helpless Jimin.

“Wait. Chanyeol? His brother is Park Chanyeol?” Luhan asked Taehyung.

“Yup, Mr…” Taehyung searched for a nametag that was unfortunately non-existant on Luhan’s chest.

“I’m Luhan.” Luhan smiled, after wondering about what Taehyung was staring at for a few moments.

“Ah yeah. Mr. Luhan. He’s Park Jimin and he’s Park Chanyeol’s younger brother.”

“How do you know my brother?” Jimin asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh. Well, he comes here too sometimes and plays the karma games; so I know his name.” Luhan answered casually.

“We should try the games too next time, Taehyung-ah.” Jimin suggested.

“No way! After this I won’t go anywhere with you unless you bring your own money!” Taehyung scolded with a frown, resulting in Jimin pouting.

Luhan chuckled as he witnessed the situation in front of him. “How old are the both of you?”

“We’re in 2^nd grade of middle school, Mr. Luhan.” Taehyung answered quickly.

Luhan just nodded when finally Chanyeol appeared.

“Hyung!” Jimin and Taehyung called and waved at him cheerfully.

Chanyeol ignored them and walked up to Luhan. “I’m sorry they troubled you. How much was it?”

Luhan waved his hand slightly and smiled. “No problem. It’s okay since you took responsibility and came here. Here’s the total.”

Chanyeol’s eyes widened when he saw the numbers on the screen.

“YAH PARK JIMIN AND KIM TAEHYUNG WHAT DID YOU EAT? YOU…,” Chanyeol roared before Jimin and Taehyung ran out of the café.

Chanyeol sighed. “Here.” He took out some money from his back pocket grudgingly.

Luhan snickered. “Here’s the change and the receipt. Please come back soon to Karma Café. Thank you!”

“Right. Thanks. Oh by the way I wanna asked you something.” Chanyeol cut in suddenly when he remembered something.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“The last time I played the Karma game, you said I was actually a knight. Why did you mistaken me for a servant, the first time?” Chanyeol blurted out curiously.

Luhan grinned. “I’m really sorry Park Chanyeol-ssi. It’s just because you looked dirty and your clothes were ripped everywhere. It was because you just got back from war and not because you were a servant.”

“Ahhh! Did I look so ugly in the past?” Chanyeol asked despondently.

“No. It was just messy and you had long hair back then.” Luhan explained and tried to describe Chanyeol’s past.

“Okay then. So, am I perfectly fine now?” Chanyeol kept inquiring.

“Yeah! You’re good now. I saw you have pure heart and sincerity, Chanyeol-ssi.” Luhan said in a mysterious tone.

“Really? Woah… many peoples say that to me actually. But, Jongdae thinks it’s my weakness. Too kind.” Chanyeol shrugged.

“Well… Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s bad. Depends on the situation. But, you have pure heart and that won’t change. Maybe you can help someone out there with your sincerity.”

“Are there anyone that will need my help?” Chanyeol asks, not really understanding what the other was saying.

Luhan flashed an ambiguous smile. “Maybe yes or maybe not. But I think you’re a modern-day knight.”

Chanyeol blinked his eyes several times to register what Luhan had just said. “Oh, okay Luhan-ssi. Thanks anyway. Nice talking to you again. Bye.” Chanyeol excused himself and turned around when he bumped into someone. The smaller almost lost his balance but Chanyeol managed to grab the other’s arm in time to stabilize him.

“Yah! Don’t touch me! I’m okay!” The smaller scolded and freed his hand from Chanyeol’s grip. Chanyeol stared at the eyeliner guy. Byun Baekhyun. The sassy waiter.

Baekhyun strided towards to Luhan and muttered some things to him before he went back to the kitchen, while Chanyeol just watched.

Chanyeol looked at Luhan again and asked. “Is he really like that? I mean, naturally?”

Luhan chuckled. “Rude? Sassy? Impolite? Ill-mannered? Which one do you prefer?”

Chanyeol sighed. “No, I never thought something like that. Well, yeah sometimes I thought he’s sassy but I don’t think he’s rude or anything worst than that. I don’t know, but his attitude seems unnatural to me. He looks good but the eyeliner hides it all. Can you asked him to take it easy with the eyeliner? I think he has beautiful eyes.”

Luhan’s eyes widened when he heard Chanyeol’s comments on Baekhyun. No one has ever commented about Baekhyun like Chanyeol. No one except the Karma Café staffs that know about Baekhyun’s past and his transformation (except for Kris, that had just joined Karma Café 7 months ago). And the guests didn’t like his attitude and preferred Tao as their waiter instead of Baekhyun.

Luhan shook his head. “I can’t. Maybe you can. It shall be your task, Chanyeol-ssi!”

Chanyeol cleared his throat. “Hahaha! I don’t know what do you mean Luhan-ssi. Alright, well anyways, I’ll get going now. Thanks!”

Without any other distractions, Chanyeol left. Luhan rested his chin on his hand and muttered to himself as he watched the tall figure walk across the street. “Hm.... Sincerity and pure heart. He looks like the one that mentioned by Nǎinai before. I should called her later, then.”

***

I’m really sorry for late updates! Kinda busy with college stuffs T__T

So, here’s the chapter 7 and it begin to focus on Baekhyun’s past.

It’s kinda angst but please bear with me <3

Also I made BTS's Park Jimin as Chanyeol's younger brother and Kim Taehyung is BTS's V LOL

Anyway, one of my biases got married on Dec 13th. Sungmin Oppa, congrats on your wedding! <3

As always thank you for ByunBaozi03757 that always help me for this chapter as well♥

And thank you for upvoting, subs, and also leave many kind comments

 I LOVE YOU ALL <3

- secretyeoja -