Chapter 1

I Love You More

            “Have you tried to talk to your new patient yet?”

            “Park Chanyeol? Oh, of course I have. He hasn’t said anything yet, of course. But he promised he would talk today.” The psychiatrist sighed as he entered his office and waited for his last patient, Park Chanyeol. It wasn’t even five minutes until Chanyeol was escorted into his office.

            “Park Chanyeol.” The doctor said, “Have a seat.”

            “Just call me Chanyeol.” He says as he makes himself at home in the doctor’s office.

“How do you feel today?” Chanyeol didn’t respond right away.

            “I still think about her every single day.” He says wearily without blinking, as he lies back onto the armrest of the fine leather couch. Chanyeol’s face is a lot thinner than it was six months ago, and the bags under his eyes only seem to darken and grow by day.

            “How do you sleep these days?”

            “Fine.” He lies. It’s apparent that he’s lying because of his pitiful appearance. He hears pen gliding across paper. Great, what’s he writing now? The truth is, Chanyeol can’t sleep. When he does fall asleep, nightmares haunt him, but when he’s awake, the past haunts him. He doesn’t know which he’s afraid of more – his dreams, or reality.

            “Tell me about the person you were before you landed yourself here.”

            “What’s that supposed to mean?” Chanyeol squints his eyes, a bit offended, but doesn’t bother to look at the man.

            “Just tell me about you.” The man clarifies.

            Chanyeol thinks about this for a second, and before he answers, he makes sure to take in a deep breath. “If you want to know about me, you first have to know about Min Joohyun.”

The earlier memories weren’t painful – in fact, they were blissful – but what followed was a horrid series of events that would haunt him in his dreams, and his reality.

 

 

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            Chanyeol entered his first class of his first semester in his last year of college. He was finally almost done with college and he would be able to open his video game-themed café he had been dreaming of. What was better than coffee and games? As Chanyeol scanned the room for a seat, instead of finding a seat, his eyes landed on the most angelic being he had ever had the honor of laying eyes on. It wasn’t until she elegantly smiled and waved, that he realized he had been staring. Chanyeol pointed at himself, wondering if she was waving to him. She threw her head back with laughter and nodded. He gulped as his heart raced and his breathing sped up. She cocked her head to the side, gesturing for him to go and sit in the empty seat next to her. Without hesitation, he walked over to her and sat in the seat beside her. He was so close to her now.

            “Hi, my name is Min Joohyun.” Joohyun grinned and stuck out her hand. “What’s your name?”

            “P-Park Chanyeol.” He stuttered as he lightly gripped Joohyun’s soft hands.

            “Nice to meet you, Chanyeol. It’s okay if I just call you ‘Chanyeol’, right?”

            “Of-of-of course!” He raised his eyebrows in surprise by her blunt demeanor.

            “Good. You can just call me Joohyun.” When she smiled, it was like Chanyeol could feel his heart beating its way out of his chest and into his hands, so he could give it to her. At that moment, Chanyeol knew that if it wasn’t her, he wouldn’t have anyone else; she was perfect.

            The next day, Chanyeol sat in the same exact spot and waited for Joohyun. It was almost time for the class to start, but she wasn’t there yet. Had she perhaps dropped the class? Maybe she didn’t come because he crept her out yesterday.

            “Wait!” A girl’s voice echoed from the hallway just before the professor shut the door. Chanyeol looked at the door and – much to his relief – it was Joohyun. Her eyes looked around the room and when they landed on Chanyeol, she excitedly waved to him, causing him to grin like a fool.

            “Hi.” She said with her eye smile as she pulled out the chair next to him and sat down.

            “Hi.” He breathed for the first time since she entered the room.

            For the duration of the class, Chanyeol was distracted by the thought of whether he should ask Joohyun out or not. Would it be weird to ask her out, even though he barely knew her? What was the hurt in asking her, anyway? Oh, right, he would lose her, even as a potential friend. Although he did admit that he needed to learn how to take rejection. It was settled; he would ask her to hang out.

            The end of class rolled around sooner than he thought. He wasn’t ready to ask her out. He had never had a girlfriend before, and he wasn’t sure how this whole thing was supposed to work.

            “Hey – Joohyun.” Chanyeol said as Joohyun put her notebook in her bag.

            “Yeah, what’s up?” Joohnyun was still as easygoing as ever.

            “I was just wondering…” The words wouldn’t come out.

            “Wondering what?” She asked, wide-eyed and curious.

            “Did you maybe wanna…uh…” Chanyeol looked down unconfidently and scratched the back of his head, fishing for the right words to say. Slowly, Joohyun’s lips curved into a shy smile as she waited for Chanyeol to finish.

            “Did I want to…?” She egged on.

            “Hang out?” He asked quickly. “I know this great place that you’d-“

            “I’d love to!” She exclaimed.

            “I’m sorry I asked, could we at least be – wait… You said –“ Chanyeol smiled shyly at first, but then the smile grew into a large and wide grin.

            “Yes, I’d love to.” Joohyun assured.

            “Okay…Okay!” Chanyeol felt a wave of relief, excitement, and ecstasy rush through him. “I’ll – let me get your number – so I can text you the address, of course. Nothing else.”

            “Nothing else?” Joohyun asked, feigning disappointment.

            “Uh, I…” Chanyeol was at a loss for words out of confusion.

            “Here!” She laughed as she handed him her phone.

            They exchanged numbers and two days later, met at a library-themed café. There, they talked about themselves, exchanging, giving, and receiving information about each other. Chanyeol revealed that he was an Entrepreneurship major, and Joohyun responded by saying that she was a Recreation & Sports major. To their surprise, they clicked better than they initially thought they would have. That night, Chanyeol walked Joohyun home through the warm spring night.

            “Hanging out with you today was really fun.” Chanyeol confessed, all smiles.

            “Hanging out? I thought this was a date.” Joohyun jokingly pouted.

            “D-date?” Chanyeol blushed. “This was a date?” He obliviously asked.

            “If you kiss me, it would be.” Joohyun blushed as she boldly dared.

Without hesitation, Chanyeol planted the softest of kisses on Joohyun’s pink lips. His heart raced so fast, he could barely breathe right, and when he finally pulled away, he was panting. Although kissing Joohyun made Chanyeol forget how to breathe, it also made Chanyeol realize that Joohyun was the only one he would ever have his heart. It was still early in their relationship, but it was right then and there that he knew.

 

 

A year passed by in the blink of an eye, and Chanyeol and Joohyun were now graduates. The way Chanyeol felt about Joohyun hadn’t wavered one bit since the moment he laid eyes on her. Rather, if it was even possible, his love for her grew even more.

After college, they decided they’d move in together, and they did exactly that. Everything seemed like it was going “according to plan” when Chanyeol finally decided to open up his video-themed café, and although it started out slow, it started getting more and more popular day after day.

Chanyeol’s life was perfect. Every morning, he woke up to the sound of Joohyun’s voice, calling him to eat breakfast. After breakfast, Joohyun would leave to the community pool, where she taught elementary kids how to swim, and Chanyeol would leave to the café, where people were bustling in and out, to which Chanyeol smiled in satisfaction. When work was finished, he came back home to the aroma of dinner, and a lovely Joohyun waiting for him at the table.

Another year passed by, and Chanyeol’s café was a popular hotspot for kids, teens, and adults alike. Chanyeol never got tired of waking up to Joohyun and coming home to Joohyun. Maybe now was the perfect time to ask her to marry him.

“Joohyun-a.” Chanyeol called affectionately across the table.

“What is it?” She asked, taking a sip of water.

“Let’s have a date night this Saturday.” Chanyeol suggests proudly.

“Okay.” She grins. “I have some errands to run that day, but we can go after.”

The next day, Chanyeol made sure to go to the jewelry store to pick out the wedding ring. Right when he walked in, his eyes immediately found the perfect ring among the other sparkling diamonds. There was no doubt that Joohyun would love it as much as he loved the thought of being the one to give it to her.

“I’ll take this one.” He pointed and eagerly asked the clerk behind the counter. “This one is perfect.”

“Sure.” She took the ring out so Chanyeol could get a better look at it.

“Can I get this in a size seven?” He requested confidently.

“How long have you guys been dating?” The clerk asked curiously.

“Three years and two months.” He answered without hesitating, as he analyzed the ring.

“That’s nice. Most people these days wait a little longer, though.”

“But when you know, you know, you know?” He chuckled.

 

 

It was now Saturday, and Joohyun had been out all day, running her errands. Everything would be perfect. Chanyeol was standing on the roof of one of the classiest restaurants in Seoul, leaning against the railing, as the warm breeze tickled his cheeks. The warm summer night was just waiting for a celebration to occur, and Chanyeol couldn’t wait.

The dinner table was set up with a white tablecloth, and there was a bouquet of yellow flowers in the middle – Joohyun’s favorite flower. Two candles stood on each side of the bouquet, and a bottle of Chateau Hyot, Bordeaux ’10 in a bucket of ice.

“Are you nervous?” The waiter asked Chanyeol as he came and poured more water into Chanyeol’s cup.

“Why, do you think I am?” Chanyeol chuckled nervously.

“Yes, sir, I do.” He laughed.

“How can you tell?”

“This is the third cup of water I’ve come to pour for you.”

“I guess you caught me.” Chanyeol took in a deep breath and let it out.

Chanyeol sat down after some time, and it was now a half hour past their meeting time. He was suddenly now more nervous than before. Chanyeol wasn’t nervous because Joohyun might say “no”, he was nervous because if Joohyun didn’t show up, would that mean that she knew he was going to propose? She had been late plenty of times before, so maybe this was just another case of her being late – but then again, she had never been this late.

            Suddenly, his phone began to ring. Oh, maybe that was her, now.

            “Hey, Joohyun, where do you think you are? Why’re you so la-“

            “Hello, is this Park Chanyeol?” A stranger’s voice sounded from the other side of the phone.

            “Uh, sorry, I thought you were someone else. But yes, this is. May I ask who’s speaking?”

            “This is Seoul Memorial Hospital, and there’s a body here we would like you to confirm.”

            “A-a body? What do you mean? Why would I have to confirm a body?”

            “We believe this body is Min Joohyun, but we would like your confirmation.”

            “That’s impossible. I think you’re mistaken.” And with that, Chanyeol immediately hung up.

            Chanyeol couldn’t bring himself to believe it. It was impossible that it would be Joohyun – his Joohyun. He dialed Joohyun’s number once, and it rung and rung, but no one answered. He hung up. He dialed in her number once more, and like the first time, it rung and rung, but no one answered. He repeated this process two more times, and like the first two times, no one answered. Chanyeol’s heart began to race, beginning to panic.

            After a minute of contemplation, Chanyeol grabbed the little black box, and raced to the hospital. When he arrived to the hospital, he put his car in park in front of the building and ran inside without even closing the door.

            “Hi, my name is Park Chanyeol. I got a call to confirm a body…uh, I…” Chanyeol combed his hair back with his fingers, flustered.

            The lady at the front desk told him where to go, and he sprinted furiously to the morgue. When he arrived, he busted through the doors, and though the entire room was cold, hot tears began to stream down his face. Chanyeol slowly walked over to the table to get a closer look at the girl on the table, and she was still so beautiful, but so pale. She was still, and not even a muscle twitched.

            “Sir, you can’t go in –“ A lady ran after him.

            Chanyeol dropped to his knees at the side of the silver table. He couldn’t even look at her. She had no more aura, no more glow – she was lifeless.

            “Are you Park Chanyeol?” A man’s voice asked from behind him. Chanyeol couldn’t even answer the man because his sobs were so out of control. His chest felt like it was constricting, and he felt the deepest pain he had ever felt before. What was this? It felt like blackness was literally overtaking his heart. Instead, Chanyeol nodded his head.

            “And is this Min Joohyun?” The man asked, now standing next to Chanyeol. Again, he couldn’t answer. He wailed louder, and dropped his hands to the floor, almost as if he was begging God to give her back to him. He nodded again. “She drowned, it seems. Her lungs were filled with water.” The man explained. That was impossible. Joohyun, if it was his Min Joohyun, was a talented swimmer. She was a swimming instructor for crying out loud! How could she have drowned? Even so, Chanyeol couldn’t say anything. Rather, he didn’t know what to say. What does that mean, if she was drowned? Joohyun wasn’t the kind of person to commit suicide, so how exactly did that happen?

            When the man proceeded to cover Joohyun with a white cover, Chanyeol stopped the man by grabbing his wrist.

“Don’t!” He shouted. “Not yet.” Chanyeol hiccupped. How could this happen? How did this happen? Of all days, why today? Weren’t they going to grow old together? Weren’t they going to have plenty of children? Weren’t they going to move out of their comfortable apartment to a house to raise the children? Why did this happen? Chanyeol’s face was flushed and tears streamed down, almost as smooth as a river. Every time his nose began to run, he sniffled it back up.

After some time, Chanyeol’s tears slowed down. They never stopped – they only slowed down. He no longer hiccupped, and he no longer wailed.

“This girl, this beautiful, wondrous being, is Min Joohyun.” Chanyeol whispered reluctantly. Even though he knew that if he said it was her out loud, it would become real, but he couldn’t say that it wasn’t her. There was only one of her in the world, and he knew this better than anyone else.

 

 

            A week went by, and Chanyeol didn’t go to work. He didn’t wake up from his bed to the sound of a musical voice, singing to him, telling him to eat breakfast. He didn’t come home to the delicious aroma of dinner waiting for him at the table with the most beautiful woman in the world, because he never left. In fact, Chanyeol barely ate. He didn’t talk to anyone about his hopes and dreams in bed before he went to sleep. He didn’t watch soccer games and cheer on South Korea at 7 PM. He just didn’t do anything until the next Saturday, the day of Joohyun’s funeral.

            On that fateful Saturday morning, though the sun was shining brightly and the birds chirped happily, Chanyeol wondered to himself, why is the sun shining so gloriously today when I feel like my insides have shrunk and my heart is so heavy? Chanyeol reluctantly got up, but fell back down out of dizziness. He barely had any energy to get ready, but he pushed himself to, anyway. Joohyun would have been devastated to see Chanyeol like this, and Chanyeol knew that. And because of that, he got up, put on his black suit, and drove to the funeral home that he had previously reserved for Joohyun.

            When he arrived at the funeral home, Joohyun’s casket was already there, and yellow roses were already set up around her – Joohyun’s favorite flower. Outside the entrance were wreathes and a flowers with long ribbons, expressing peoples condolences. Chanyeol met Joohyun’s parents, but he couldn’t even make eye contact with them. Her parents seemed even more devastated than him, but he could assure anyone that he was the one who had it worse.

            “I’m so sorry, Chanyeol.” Joohyun’s mother cried as she opened her arms and embraced Chanyeol. “I’m so sorry, I know you loved her so much.” She patted his back.

            “I’m the one who’s sorry, mother. You were the one who carried her in your womb. You were the one who raised her to be the person she became – the person I loved.” Chanyeol couldn’t hold back the tears anymore and began to sob into his was-going-to-be mother-in-law’s shoulder.

            “Son,” Joohyun’s father came over to Chanyeol and Joohyun’s mother, and took them both in his arms. “We have to stay strong. Joohyun wouldn’t want to see us like this. She wouldn’t want us to cry. She’d want us to stay strong and be happy that she’s in a better place.” Joohyun’s father reminded, and to this, Chanyeol immediately straightened up and stopped his sobbing. He knew that everything that Joohyun’s father said was correct. Chanyeol slipped on his armband and sat at the end of the casket, waiting for people to arrive.

            The first person to arrive, wearing all black, and had wavy black hair showed up. She looked like she was around the same age as Chanyeol and Joohyun. Who was she?

            “Is this Min Joohyun’s funeral?” She asked, roaming her eyes around the room, then landing them on Joohyun’s picture. Chanyeol looked at Joohyun’s picture, where she smiled so brightly, as if she was telling him not to worry – that she’d be okay.

            “That’s right. I’m sorry, I don’t know you – what’s your name again?” Chanyeol asked curiously.

            “Ah, I guess Joohyun-a never mentioned me? I’m an old friend. My name is Soeun. Cha Soeun.” She smiled and put out her hand. Chanyeol took her hand and shook it. “You can just call me Soeun.” Chanyeol looked at her, surprised by her choice of words. Those were the same exact words Joohyun said to Chanyeol when he first met her.

            “Nice to meet you. I’m Park Chanyeol.” He smiled to be polite.

            “I know.”


 

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carriedaway
11/26: coming soon.

Comments

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kawaiianimae
#1
when are u going to update authornim ive been waiting for so long now :((
chandib #2
Chapter 8: I do hope soeun isn't the killer putting the peace together she was sure that her door was locked but chanyeol found it open.that just means thAt someone may is setting her up.I hope so caz I really like her to be with chanyeol☺♥
Chrysaliis
#3
Chapter 8: it's been a little over a year but this story has always been on the back of my mind. just checking in here to let you guys know i'm VERY much still on edge with anticipation, and i hope you've both been well <3
carriedaway
#4
Chapter 4: LOLOLOL @ the EXO's fan base comparison.
huwihuwi #5
Chapter 8: it's not Soeun right ????? i don't think that Soeun would killed Joohyun just because she want to be with Chanyeol... and i really hope you can update soon.. i know that you guys are so busy but plz spend only a little of your time with your readers... fighting ! :)
lerian
#6
Chapter 8: I hate that I'm so lacking in 'guessing' :(
who is the killer omg i'm so curious.
Update soon authornim
matogalaxyV
#7
Chapter 8: I've had my doubts about Soeun and her sane-ness from the beginning of the story. She seems suspicious but at the the same time she's not. The only thing I came up with is that Soeun has multiple personalities or you know, she's really good at acting/she's a psycopath.....
teteixofanai #8
Chapter 8: Omg... Who's the killer ... Is she really dead.... Who's 'her' ... Ahhh there's too much going on... This story is so tence.... Pliz update soon
Purpleyshaa
#9
Chapter 8: After reading this story of yours, why do i have this feeling that the one who killed joohyun as soeun? or soeun was only framed up? well, im waiting for this story to be updated again :))