Not Lonely Anymore

Description

338722-most-incredible-busters-5zic.jpg

I really don't know what to write here lol.

 You - Micha

5zic - Hangil, In Group M.I.B, and Micha's Boyfriend

Foreword

I'm trying to write my first fanfic so why not write about someone people barely write about.

Comments

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Park_HyeSun #1
Chapter 1: Hm... Pretty alright for a first time in my opinion! It's good that you decided to keep it simple, highlighting the change of POVs to reduce confusion and such.

If you do want some comment regarding your writing though, I would say that there are some misuse of words like (your) when I'm quite sure that you meant (you're) which expands into (you are). Also, when you indicate it to be a person's POV, usually [but perhaps not all the time] it would written from the first person view with the use of the pronoun (I). So for example, instead of ("I'm so bored where is he?" you sighed as you thought about your boyfriend.), maybe you could consider writing it as ("I'm so bored, where is he?" I sighed, thinking about my boyfriend.).

I'm not telling you to change it just because I said so, but it is my honest opinion and every effort deserves some attention/response no matter who they are. I commend you for trying a relatively unpopular group and character.

Have a nice day, (: