Flustered

Chanyeol and Kai are running towards you, all sweaty and panting. You are watching them play basketball by the bench. They are both competitive boys and you are sure they were almost going to get into a brawl when Chanyeol scored a hoop by cheating. You try to focus on Chanyeol too, but you know it's impossible when Kai is there too. 

Even as they run to you, your eyes are only fixed on Kai. The way the sun reflects light on his sweaty face. He looks unreal, almost ethereal. His plump lips are parted and you watch him breathe in and out deeply, but steadily. His hair is in clumps due to the sweat. But the strands of clumps bounce as he runs, slapping his forehead at a steady rhythm. Your eyes finally find his. Your breath is almost knocked out of your body, gaping at him. 

Kai is looking at you, and you only. His gaze is set, as if his target is locked. 

The two of them reach you. Your heart is beating at a fast pace and you feel shy all of a sudden. Even as Kai's best friend, you're still not used to the weird sensations you get when he is near you. It's almost like you cannot help it. Yet, the boy seems like there is no effect on him or whatsoever.

But then again, it's Kai. He is like that to everyone. He probably doesn't even know he is the cause of every girls' cries and every girls' moans. As his best friend, and as much as you adore him, you know how oblivious the boy is to his surroundings. Kai prefers to live in the moment, cherishing it while having fun. He never seems to worry but you know he does. Just that he never shows it. 

He leaves every thought to the back of his mind, before coming back to it again at night. And you know he does it at night because of those dark eye circles he has. Kai never likes worrying people. So he worries behind the scenes, when everyone aren't looking. And the best time for that is night-time. Because then, no one would see how vulnerable the strong Kai is. 

"Stay close," Kai murmurs, grabbing your wrist in a quick motion before he loses you.

The three of you are in the city at night. It's the day of celebration for South Korea's independence. People are everywhere and the three of you are shoulder-to-shoulder with everyone else. There are fireworks happening soon. It seems like the entire nation has all gathered in the heart of Seoul just to look at blistering fireworks shooting to the sky.

Kai never lets go of your wrist. Your skin is buzzing from where he is holding you. It feels hot; his touch spreading warmth in you. Even though you are close enough that your chest is pressed against his back, Kai never lets your hand go. And it seems like he doesn't want to. Despite his fingers circling your wrist gently and lightly, you can feel how secure it is. You know he will never let you go. He doesn't want to lose you. 

Chanyeol is behind you and you turn to him. He is a few people behind; his eyes searching for you guys frantically. Lightly, you place your other hand on Kai's forearm and he jerks to look at you. His eyes are slightly wide and you start to feel bad because he actually looks like you had just zapped him. 

You glance back and he does the same. Once he sees Chanyeol, he slows down. You reach your free hand to Chanyeol, weaving between the bodies of strangers. Chanyeol still doesn't really sees the both of you but once Kai shouts his name, the giant spots you. You briefly wonder if it is just you who feels hot from Kai's breath so close to you. Even Chanyeol's ears perked when he called his name.

Chanyeol looks down and sees your hand. You feel his warm hand holding onto yours and you tug on Chanyeol hand, pulling him closer. You watch him repeat his apologies to people around him as he tries to make way to you. But your attention flies to Kai, who has let go of your wrist.

You panic for a moment, uncomfortable with the loss of touch. Then you feel the relief again. Followed by heat and the butterflies in your stomach. His fingers find yours and he lets them thread through yours. 

Kai clenches his fingers, squeezing your hand. The cacophony of the crowd and the vehicles around you seem to have been drowned out by the rabbiting of your heart. You twitch your finger and indeed, you sense Kai's hold. Your breathing is shallow and your body is warm all over. You cannot think even as Chanyeol stumbles to you, grinning down at you. 

Kai's hand is entwined with yours. Entwined! Your mind seems to be repeating this reminder.

"Ready?" Kai squeezed your hand gently, looking down at you. 

You feel small, but you feel safe. He is looking out for you. You cannot stop your heart this time. You gulp, nodding slightly and accidentally squeezing Chanyeol's hand while you squeeze Kai's. You watch those glittering brown orbs flicker up from your eyes. Feeling shy all of a sudden, you turn back. Chanyeol is making faces at the people pushing him from behind. 

Kai chuckles softly from behind you and your body relaxes at that sound. How is it possible that he makes you both nervous and anxious but calm and relaxed at the same time?

The colours are beautiful against the black sky. The burst of bright lights above the city. You hear shutters of cameras going off but you think the best way to preserve is in your memory. You glance at Kai―your gazes always finds him no matter how far he is―and your breath hitches. The blue from the fireworks are reflected on his countenance making his features, his side profile brighter, more enhanced. 

You take in his every feature; his soft hair that is blue in the light, his eyes that are fixed on the firework show, his nose, his cheeks, and his lips. His lips are full and plump, almost looking swollen. Sometimes Kai talks with pouty lips and you can't help but think that it is because of his puffy lips. 

You see his eyes glance at you before he fully turns his head to you. Your breath is caught in your throat. The moment Kai the back of your hand with the pad of his thumb, you relax again. You blink several times a second, obviously shocked. But Kai seems to be blinking only once every 10 seconds. He wants to know what's going on in your mind. 

You don't know how it is so but sometimes you feel like you can hear Kai's thoughts in your head. Even with a mere gaze or action, you know exactly what he wants to know, what he wants to say. It's unnerving, but it's amazing.

Kai narrows his eyes when he sees you shaking your head. But he doesn't pursue. Instead, he looks at Chanyeol, who is taking pictures with his phone. He calls out, "Hey, Park Chanyeol!" The giant takes a final picture and reviews it. Satisfied, he pockets his phone and joins you guys again. Then waits for Kai's words to come.

It doesn't. 

"What?" Chanyeol grounds out, finally tired of waiting. 

Kai shrugs, your hand moving along with his arm movement. "Just in case you lose us again." 

"You're right next to me," Chanyeol rolls his eyes. "I can't lose you guys if you're just right here."

"But you're Yeol," you look at him seriously, you hear Kai snort from behind you and you feel a smile creeping on your lips.

"You little ," Chanyeol swears, acting like he is going to punch you. 

You roll your eyes and ignore him. With your free hand, you take out your phone. "Let's take a selca."

Turning around, you regretfully entangle your hand from Kai's. You try to ignore the cold air wrapping around your hand; a poor substitute of Kai's hold. You find your camera app on your phone easily, then stretching your phone out in front of you. Kai is looking at you and you blush, witnessing it through the screen of your phone.

You beckon Chanyeol over and turn your head, immediately staring into Kai's eyes. A smile graces his features almost instantly and you give him a bashful smile. But all too fast, his smile is gone and replaced by a frown. You sigh internally before grabbing his wrist and pulling him closer. 

"Come on," you whine. "Let's try to get the fireworks in the picture too."

Chanyeol ducks under your outstretched arm. He leans his back against your chest, his knees bent considerably, his head resting on your collarbone. You feel Kai's heat from behind, his trimmed chest pressed against your back. He is breathing next to you and you know that if you just turn slightly, your faces are going to touch. 

"Ready..." You try to sound as cool as possible; try to keep your voice from quivering at the intimacy with Kai. 

You end up taking a ton of pictures because Chanyeol kept requesting for more. Kai groaned several times, yet still cooperated. The firework show is already done and everyone is rushing out of the place to get a taxi. The three of you stay there, talking as you wait for the stampede to end. Going through the pictures you just took, you realised that Kai was smiling in the first few pictures and then his expression slowly morphing into annoyance. You chuckle.

But one picture catches your eye. You squint, making sure you saw correctly. 

Kai had his face turned slightly to the side. The expression on his face was far from irritation. The look on his face seemed soft and gentle, almost like he was looking at a newborn baby. Kai looks like he is looking at the most fragile being in the planet, as though his gaze could break the person he was looking at. 

And he was looking at you.

You are trying to tune in to what your group mates are saying as they talk about the project. The snippets of other people's conversations in the cafe seem much more interesting than whatever you are doing. You feel like you need something to drink, something to make you focus. 

Standing up, you announce to your groupmates, "I'll go get something to drink." 

They nod absentmindedly, quickly going back to the topic of the project as soon as they acknowledge you. You grab your wallet and walk over to the queue. While your eyes are scanning the menu board, someone stands rooted next to you. Your eyebrows furrow. There are many other places this person could have stood at, but why next to you? 

You turn your head slightly, not wanting to look too obvious that you're staring. But of course, who else could it be if it's not Kai? You turn your head fully and roll your eyes at him openly when you see his hands stuffed in the front pockets of his jeans, completely relaxed. Even though he is looking straight ahead, you see the ends of his lips curling up slightly. 

"I thought you didn't like coffee," you tease, stepping forward as the person at the counter leaves. 

Kai glances at you. His eyes run over your face, like he is keeping every feature in his memory. He shrugs, "I just want iced tea." 

"This place is famous for its coffee and you want iced tea," you say, deadpanned. You look at him and he stares back. 

The two of you are having a stare battle. Not sure if it's just you, but you really feel the air around you getting denser. Like breathing is difficult for you, as if someone is trying to suffocate you. But still, you're entranced by the beauty of Kai's dark orbs. The way they seem so tough, yet vulnerable. 

Your gaze soften and you see him looking back at you in question. He wants to know why you are looking at him that way. And you want to tell him. You want to tell him that he can trust you, that you will be there for him. You want him to know that it is okay for him to be completely vulnerable with you. 

But a call snaps you back to reality. Your head whips around to the side, where the empty counter is. The last customer before had gone off to wait for his order, leaving you as the next customer. The girl behind the counter looks annoyed. You flush deeply and Kai clears his throat. Well, at least there is no one else behind you. You would actually imagine him being better at handling the situation since he's the pro at flirting and all. However, Kai once again breaks another myth. He isn't good at handling situations like this.

"Are you guys together?" The girl asks, trying to hide the irritation in her voice. 

You know what she had meant. You try not to think of anything else other than her asking if the boy next to you is ordering with you. You glance at Kai, and you are surprised to see him the one gaping this time. He blinks blankly, his lips slightly parted. The tips of his ears are red― Is he blushing?! 

Kai finally moves, only this time to look at you. He looks scared and you have an overwhelming urge to help him, tell him it's okay. The boy opens his mouth wider, wanting to say something. He stops before a word comes out. You raise an eyebrow at him, urging him to tell you because this is frustrating. And to be quick about it because you're sure the girl is 100% done with the two of you. 

"Are you two together?" She asks again, this time letting her annoyance seep through her words. "Look, guys, I really don't have―"

"We're not together...?" Kai says, a hint of uncertainty in his voice as he looks back at the waitress. But at same time, as you nod, "We are. Sorry to keep you waiting." 

You walk over to the counter while pulling on his arm. You don't want a third warning from her again. Might as well get Kai to order with you. At most, you'll just have to pay for him. Right?

Author's note:

Hi guys, so I got a question on how long this fic will be. I'm planning to just make it 10 chapters, at most. I don't want it to be too long because I'm not really confident about this piece of work... Since Kai is like, my newest bias heh.. But who knows, I might write another one if I finish this and really like writing Kai-based fics! ^-^

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