I need you

"Hey," you greeted me when you opened the door. You didn't whine unlike other girls I knew would have when I didn't greet you back. You knew I was exhausted from my dancing practice and from the smile that I gave you, you knew I just needed some rest. 

I entered your apartment, dropping my duffle bag by the couch as Chanyeol came out of your room. You went into your room and Chanyeol acknowledged me. He knew I was always tired after my dance practices, so he didn't say much. The both of you knew how vigorous and intense my dance practices were. I never liked slacking off. Chanyeol was getting me a cup of ice cold water when you yelled for me. I followed your voice into the bathroom. 

"Shower and then we'll have lunch out," you told me, smiling like a mother to her child. This was exactly what I liked about you. You were affectionate and you took care of me well. 

"Mmm," I hummed, stepping deeper into the bathroom. You smiled at me one last time before getting out of the bathroom for me to shower. 

After a nice warm shower, I left the steamy bathroom as I ruffled my wet hair with the towel around my neck. Chanyeol and you were sitting on the couch, his arm resting on the sofa behind you. I frowned, not really liking it but then you reassured me of your feelings when you turned to me the moment I walked in. You didn't even seem to pay much attention to Chanyeol next to you. I watched you narrow your eyes at me before going into your room. I wondered why you had left so suddenly when you called out to me again. 

Instinctively, I went into your room and saw a hairdryer in your hand. I made a face subconsciously, shaking my head. I never owned a hairdryer because it was too much work. Besides, my hair would dry on its own eventually, even if it would take a long time. As if you knew what I was thinking of, you rolled your eyes with a hint of smile on your lips.

"I'll do it for you," you beckoned me to the seat in between you and the dresser. "Come here." 

I didn't want to burden you but you were looking at me expectantly. I sighed in defeat, stalking over towards you and you grinned happily. You started blowdrying my hair after taking my towel from me and hanging it on your shoulder. You ran your hand through my hair, massaging it soothingly. I was starting to feel tired, but I really liked how you looked drying my hair. I pretended in my head that you were my wife, taking good care of me. How I wished it was true. Even though I was sleepy, I still stared at your reflection. You were so focused on doing your thing and the sight of it made my heart palpitate at a crazy rate. Suddenly, you push my fringe up, your hand in full contact with my forehead. It made my eyes widen and my heart beat shoot right up. 

You chuckled, "Feeling comfortable?" I sighed softly and nodded. You smiled gently as you pushed my head back to rest on your stomach. I swallowed nervously at the skinship. "You can rest for a bit," you told me before going back to do your job. 

I hummed, closing my eyes despite wanting to watch you more. I ended up dozing off, with the loud noise of the hairdryer as my lullaby and your hand through my hair as my soothing touch. I jerked awake when the loud winding noise stopped abruptly. I rubbed my eyes and I could hear you chuckling softly. You ruffled my dry hair and left the room. I stood up from the seat and stretched but was interrupted by Chanyeol's clearing of throat. I looked at him but he was already walking off. I caught the smirk he had on his face before he turned away though. I left the empty room too, feeling a little creeped by Chanyeol's behaviour. 

You were standing there, waiting for us as we laced up our shoes. I rummaged my duffle bag for my scarf and just before we left the house, I made you stop in front of me so I could wrap you up in it. I circled the scarf around your neck three times. Then, I lifted the cloth so that it reached your chin. Chanyeol was by the side, watching our interaction as he waited. I blinked blankly at you when I finished, unsure of what else to do. We quickly left the apartment. Chanyeol felt like he wanted hotpot, so we agreed to it. It was cold anyway. As Chanyeol drove to the usual hotpot restaurant that we go to, we noticed how you were always sniffling and breathing out through your mouth as though your nose was clogged. You didn't seem so good. 

We settled in the restaurant as soon as we got there since it was only in the afternoon. I sat opposite and Chanyeol was next to you. Most of the time when we ate, it was usually the guys who chose for you since you pretty much ate anything. Your eyes roamed around the familiar place while Chanyeol and I ordered the food. 

"Sweetheart," I called out to you gently and your head turned to me. "We got you hot tea, okay?" You nodded silently. It was weird seeing you so quiet when it was just the three of us. I was worried that your cold might have gotten to your head. I asked even though I already knew the answer, "Have you been eating your meds?"

"I don't eat meds." Knew it.

"Sure you don't, Iron Man," I teased as I rolled my eyes. 

"Do you even have medicine?" Chanyeol cut in. He slithered his hand under the scarf and feels your temperature. You were squirming at him touching your neck. My hands curled into fists unexpectedly when the boy murmured, "You're a bit feverish, you know that?" 

"Huh?" You blurted as you felt your own forehead. Chanyeol glanced at me and I glared at him. Hard. It was only when you spoke up that we broke eye contact. "Maybe it's because I'm wrapped up," you guessed. 

While you started taking off your scarf and jacket, Chanyeol leant back in his chair. I set hard eyes on the male, threatening him silently not to make any moves on you. But he didn't seem affected when he stretched his arm behind you, his fingers twirling the ends of your hair. You seemed to catch on. You turned to face Chanyeol but he smiled warmly at you, grazing your cheek with the back of his finger. My jaw clenched. 

"Don't you need to go to the toilet?" I not-so-subtly hinted to Chanyeol. I didn't like him touching you like this. 

Chanyeol gave me a challenging look before he tilted his head to pretend to think. He shook his head, a grin on his lips, "Nope."

I rolled my eyes frustratedly, looking away. I knew it was stupid when I knew how you felt about me, but I just wanted to claim you. So I wrapped my legs around yours, tucking my feet behind your calves. From the side of my eyes, I saw you glance down. A faint smile was on my lips, contented and happy that you didn't shove me away. It mustn't have been more than five minutes when Chanyeol started grinning and waving at someone. I twisted my neck, trying to locate who he was calling out to. My legs tightened around yours on instinct, almost as though I didn't want you to leave me. After all, it was Sehun. Girls worshipped him. I wouldn't say that he got more girls than I did because he was equally as handsome as I was (I think). But if there was an advantage I had over him, was that I was the best friend of his long time crush. 

"This is Sehun," Chanyeol introduced the boy to you when Sehun was standing by the table. You nodded, smiling as you shook his hand. I wanted to strangle Chanyeol when he mentioned smugly to Sehun, "I'd introduce her but you already know."

Sehun pulled out the empty chair next to me and sat. I glanced at you and I saw you staring at him, preserving his face in your memory. I felt a pang of jealousy hit me in the gut. It felt stupid because I didn't think I would feel such bitterness when I saw you looking at someone like this. I guess I liked you even more than I thought I did. 

"Fancy seeing you here!" The stupid giant chirped with a wide smile on his face. I wanted to bite his head off. 

Sehun glanced at you, giving you a small smile before replying to Chanyeol. He threw his thumb over his shoulder, "I'm here with a Chinese friend. I'll go back soon." Then, he set his eyes on you, asking, "How are you feeling?" He chuckled when he saw the huge question mark above your head. He explained, "Right. We were supposed to go to the club on Friday. But Chanyeol told me you can't go because you're sick. I assume Kai here accompanied you?" That bastard didn't even acknowledge me when he said my name. But I didn't blame him because if I knew that my love rival was taking care of you instead of I was, I would be annoyed too. 

I gritted my teeth so I wouldn't say anything rude. You nodded and apologised, "I'm sorry for backing out all of a sudden." 

"Nothing's as important as your health, cutie."

My eyes flew to you and I saw an obvious blush on your cheeks. Of course. Why wouldn't you fall for Oh Sehun's charms? He was tall, skinny, athletic and fair. I could only relent, giving Sehun his time to shine. I let go of your legs when I saw you go even redder as Sehun and Chanyeol laughed at your red cheeks. Now, you were blushing for someone who wasn't me. And I didn't like the feeling one bit. The jealousy and envy in me had never hit me so strong as right now. I looked away when Chanyeol rubbed your cheek with the back of his fingers. I haven't said anything since Sehun came and I certainly didn't want to, now. 

In a minute or so, the waiter came to set two plates of food on the table. When he left, Sehun spoke up, "I'll leave first. Enjoy your food." I turned back to him, wanting to be at least polite. But I regretted it when I watched him piercing you with an intense stare, "Nice to formally meet you. And please take care of youself."

Of course he was worried for you. He liked you as I did, although I wasn't sure if the measure of our affection for you was on par. But it was obvious that he was concerned for you because he liked you. I looked at you to catch a response and saw you nodding and smiling courteously. Chanyeol and I started dropping the food into the boiling soup while I noticed you from the side of my eye, staring at Sehun even as he walked back. You gave us your attention again, but the plates were clean already. All the food was in the midst of cooking. 

"I'm going to the toilet," Chanyeol announced now, leaving me with you. 

I felt so uncomfortable, feeling as though Sehun should be in my place instead of I was. If you liked him, I would let him be with you because you;d be happy. I was sure you did, he was a handsome guy after all and you must have admired his beauty before, whether from your girl friends' gossip sessions or not. If I was a girl, I would fall for Sehun too. I was trying to do something other than having to look at you. I felt so insecure right now that I might have actually believed that I was a thousand times uglier than I was before. But you didn't spare me. 

"Are you okay?" Your voice was soft and timid. 

I was stirring the soup when you called me. I conjured up the strength to look stony and lifted my head. I shrugged and you frowned, obviously unsatisfied with my lack of words and emotions. It made me feel even worst about myself. Of course that's why you would prefer Sehun over me. He was more open with his feelings. He smiled and laughed more than I did. What would I give to you and what would he give to you? There was a huge difference between Sehun and I. Even though we were both good-looking, girls liked me for my cold, icy exterior. Whereas for Sehun, girls like him for him ability to be vulnerable with his feelings.

Now, I knew why girls liked him despite how different we were. 

I didn't see a need to hang out with you guys anymore. I knew how much Sehun wanted to get to know you before. But he never had the chance to. And now that he did, he was always going out of his way to meet us-- or more specifically, you. He was always around. Even if you weren't with us yet, he would wait with us until you came. Besides that, you always talked to him whenever he was around. I admitted that I didn't like it and that I was jealous. But I knew I had no rights to say anything. So I didn't. Instead, I drifted away from you guys. I didn't want to see Sehun. And the more I didn't want to see the both of you interacting. 

Today, I wasn't with you guys again. It was usual for the three of us to be seen around each other no matter what day of the week. But for the past week, I was sure people who knew us were curious of my whereabouts since I was never around these days. I would normally be with Chanyeol as we waited for you to end your last class today. But this time, I was taking a stroll around the campus since I was pretty sure Sehun was with that giant somewhere, waiting for you. I had my head casted down on the ground, an action made into a habit since I started gaining a lot of attention. My hands were in my pocket as I walked towards the direction of the car park. 

My phone rang then and I got it out of my pocket quickly. You were calling me. My heart seemed to start to beat faster than when I was running. Why were you calling me? Did I want to answer it? Even though all these negative thoughts were running through my mind, it didn't take me that long to answer the call. I didn't like to reject you. 

"Hello?" I murmured into the phone.

Your sweet voice sounded more melodious and cuter through the phone. "Hey, Kai." I blew out a big breath as I moved the phone to my other ear. Your voice was soft when you told me, "I miss you."

My breath hitched. You sounded so... broken. I wanted to bash myself for being away from you. Because all I wanted to give you right then was a hug and many, many kisses to your face. "I miss you too, sweetheart," I sighed regretfully. I should have kept you by my side even when Sehun was there. I liked you and I should be making you mine. Why was I so stupid?! You liked me. Chanyeol had told me that and I had already confirmed it, myself. Why was I hurting myself like this, staying away from you? Why was I hurting you like this when I knew you would like to be with me as much as I wanted to be with you?

Quickly, I asked as I stopped walking, "Where are you now?" 

"Me?" Your voice seemed to brighten up and it made you sound like a little girl. My lips curled up into a loving smile. "I'm just done with classes," you stated.

I turned around, facing the direction I came from initially. I was unsure about what I should do and where we should go. But one thing I was certain as hell was that I wanted to be with you. 

"Can I bring you out for ice cream?" I asked, knowing how much you love ice cream. 

I was already making my way to you. Yes or no, I'd still be seeing you anyway.