There were times – well, actually there were a lot of times – when Joonmyeon asked Yifan why they never kissed in public.

Because everyone did.

Their friends did.

Baekhyun usually shoved his tongue to Chanyeol’s mouth in between their lunch breaks. Luhan always put Minseok on his lap before kissing him hard. Tao and Sehun always d into each other’s pants. And the quiet Kyungsoo always allowed Jongin to kiss his lips. Even the awkward Yixing could put a peck on Jongdae’s lips.

But Yifan never did any of those to Joonmyeon in public although they had been dating for a year now.

And every time he asked Yifan why, his boyfriend only smiled. “Because I want you for myself,” that was what Yifan said.

His response made Joonmyeon think that Yifan did not love him as much as he did to the basketball team captain.

He knew he should not have that insecurity because behind closed door, Yifan would worship him like there was no tomorrow. The tall Chinese-Canadian male would treat him like he was his princess, like he was a fragile China ware or a delicate rose petal.

But the insecurity never went away.

Joonmyeon often thought about how they were different in too many ways. Yifan was tall, he was short. Yifan had a pair of never-ending legs, broad shoulders, handsome face and a sweet smile while he…. Joonmyeon hated his too fair skin, his petit figure and his ugly smile. Yifan was so popular since he first stepped in into the university, sweeping all girls from their feet but he was so loyal and faithful to Joonmyeon since they began dating.

Still, the insecurity remained.

***

Joonmyeon was sitting in the cafeteria with Luhan and Chanyeol, who both were so noisy talking about a new movie in the cinema, when suddenly a female student approached them.

“Oppa,” she said softly. Judging from her expression, Joonmyeon knew that she was afraid of them all. Who wouldn’t after listening to Chanyeol’s loud voice although the giant was practically a doll?

Joonmyeon raised his eyebrows.

The girl – she might be a freshman, he was not sure – handed over a pink envelope to him.

“Will you please give this letter to Yifan oppa?” she said weakly.

It seemed her sweet voice was louder than thunder as all heads turned to their table, staring in confusion and curiosity.

Joonmyeon smiled sweetly although deep inside his heart he wanted to rip the letter. “I’ll give it to him,” he softly replied and put it in his sling bag.

Luhan and Chanyeol stared at each other. But before they could make any comments, Baekhyun came to them, flopped himself on the nearest chair to Chanyeol and stole some fries from the giant’s plate. His face had this y impression that made Joonmyeon want to slap him. He knew his friend must have brought a new gossip.

“You know what?” Baekhyun uttered his trademark sentence as the high-priest gossiper among his peers. “There’s this freshman who is soooo beautiful…. and she just gave a love letter to Yifan. I guess she has no idea that Yifan is your boyfriend Joonmyeon… Tsk!” He exclaimed dramatically while raising both hands.

Joonmyeon believed that his face was as red as a tomato, judging on the pity look thrown at him by his friends.

“Joonmyeon, you have the hottest hunk in campus but he never showed any PDAs. No kiss, no make outs, nothing. Are you sure he’s normal?” Chanyeol blurted out.

Joonmyeon chose to stay silent.

Then Yifan came. The student at the School of Engineering walked steadily to his direction with a small smile on his lips. He just sat next to Joonmyeon and began chatting with Luhan and Chanyeol. Yixing and Minseok joined them later.

No touches. No kisses.

Suddenly Joonmyeon felt suffocating. He took the letter and gave it to Yifan, who said nothing but put it in his back pack.

“I… I… I’ll go to the library. See you later.” He did not wait for Yifan’s reply and just ran away.

***

Joonmyeon tried hard to avoid Yifan the next week. But his boyfriend was quick in cornering him one day when he just stepped out of the library – his most peaceful hiding place.

“If I did something wrong, please tell me, so I can fix it. Don’t give me a silent treatment, please,” Yifan pleaded.

Joonmyeon stared at the tiles, afraid to look at Yifan’s dark orbs. He knew he should stop act so childish. “It’s not you. I’m just… I’m overwhelmed with all the essays and home works,” he said. He realized that Yifan could easily notice his lame excuse but that’s the only thing that crossed his mind.

Yifan stared into his eyes and Joonmyeon felt his knees wobble.

“If that’s what you say,” the tall guy responded. His right hand caressed Joonmyeon’s cheek softly.

They stood very close to each other and Joonmyeon thought he could hear Yifan’s heart beat. He looked at Yifan’s lips and wondered if his boyfriend would kiss him.

It did not happen.

Instead, Yifan pulled away a little and patted his head. “I’ll see you after class, okay?”

Joonmyeon just nodded. He tried hard to hide his disappointment. “There’s nobody here. Why is it so hard to make you kiss me?”

He decided to mingle with his friends at the cafeteria. Unfortunately, it was the wrong decision.

The minute he flopped his body in between Jongin and Jongdae, a group of girls approached them. He knew the group’s queen of mean. Jessica. Yifan’s classmate. A lot of people said they could have been a perfect couple…

“Joonmyeon,” she dramatically talked. “What are you, really? Are you sure you guys are dating? Why are you pestering Yifan like you are his pet?”

Joonmyeon knitted his eyebrows. He did not want to retort back to the girl because well… nobody messed up with Jessica. He saw Luhan coming from behind the prima donna of his campus. His friend shook his head, signaling him to stay out of trouble.

“Because….” Jessica continued while turning around to her friends, who stood not far away from their table. “My friends and I don’t believe that you and Yifan oppa are actually dating. And we think that he is still up for grab. Any objection?”

Joonmyeon knew he should remain calm. But Jessica’s sentences just provoked him.

“What do you want?” he asked her, half challenging her.

“Prove it!”

Joonmyeon was at lost at first. “Huh?”

“Prove it! Show us that Yifan is your boyfriend. Make him kiss you in a place where we all can witness, like this place. You have a week,” she said with a wink.

“Wait!” he shouted. “I… I haven’t said I would take your challenge.”

Jessica smirked. The other girls moved closer, encircling him. Joonmyeon could see that his friends were confused on what they should do.

“Take it or leave it Joonmyeon. If after a week we haven’t seen Yifan kiss you in public, you’ll have to set him free,” she said while playing with her long blonde hair.

“What if I don’t agree?”

“You still lose anyway. Yifan is ours. We’ll make sure he’ll date one of us. The clock is ticking, beauty,” Jessica said while patting Joonmyeon’s shoulder. She then turned around and led her group leave the cafeteria.

“You’d better talk to Yifan,” Luhan broke the silence after the girls left.

Joonmyeon shook his head. “NO! No…. He will be furious.”

Jongin and Jongdae rubbed his back in silence to console him.

***

Joonmyeon realized that he should talk to Yifan about the bet but he always lost his guts whenever they were together. He preferred to enjoy his moment with Yifan as if it would be his last day with his boyfriend.

It was one of those Saturday nights when Joonmyeon slept over in Yifan’s apartment. He was lying on the bed, pressing his back to Yifan’s chest while the tall guy’s large hand encircled his waist and another hand served as his pillow. Oh, how much he loved being in Yifan’s cocoon. Thinking of how he might lose Yifan in less than a week scared him. He blinked his eyes repeatedly, hoping his tears would not fall.

“Can’t sleep?” he heard his boyfriend’s voice.

He shook his head and turned around to face Yifan. His boyfriend still had his eyes closed. Joonmyeon softly touched the handsome face with his trembling index finger. He was thinking hard on how to win the bet without Yifan know about it.

“If you really loved me, would you do everything for me?” he whispered.

Yifan just hummed.  

“I wish my plan works,” he inwardly told himself. “I won’t lose you, Yifan. I won’t.”

***

Days passed quickly and it was Wednesday already. It was only two more days before the deadline of the bet. Joonmyeon sat at the cafeteria with his friends. He had texted Yifan to meet him there. His boyfriend said he would join them in half an hour.

His heart beat faster. His palm hands got all sweaty.

From the corner of his eyes, Joonmyeon could spot Jessica and her friends occupied a table for eight. He believed they were anticipating what would happen next. He prayed hard that his plan worked.

Yifan came, carrying his sports bag, and Joonmyeon knew the tall guy would have a basketball session in less than two hours.

He waited until his boyfriend sat next to him. He grabbed Yifan’s hand and intertwined their fingers. The Chinese-Canadian male widened his eyes, staring at him in confusion.

“Please…” Joonmyeon mouthed. That’s all he could say. He narrowed their gap and kissed Yifan. His boyfriend did not respond at first but after a few seconds, Yifan kissed him back.

Loud gasps and whispers were quickly heard as they both pulled away.

The girls, especially Jessica, seemed very upset and furious with the romantic scene. She stomped her feet and led her friends left the scene.

Yifan smiled. But his eyes said the opposite.

There was a hint of anger.

Joonmyeon shuddered.

Yifan stood up and pulled him up gently. “Let’s go,” he whispered.

The captain told Chanyeol that he would skip the training session because he wanted to spend “quality time” with his boyfriend. He even winked to his deputy. And he got wolf-whistled from the rest of the gang.

Yifan said nothing during their journey back to his apartment. But from the way he slammed the door, Joonmyeon knew his boyfriend went ballistic.

“What was that all about?” he shouted.

Yifan never shouted at him before. And Joonmyeon only stared at the carpet. He could only let silence engulfed them.

“Was it about the bet?” Yifan asked him again.

And Joonmyeon was shocked. Did Yifan know? Why did he say nothing?

Yifan sighed. “It was about the bet, right? Why Joon? I take our relationship seriously and you just made a bet about it? Is my love for you not enough?”

Joonmyeon tried hard not to shed tears. He was at fault and he knew it. He let his boyfriend down and he knew it. He might win the bet but at the end he would still lose Yifan. He could not hold his tears any longer.

“I’m sorry,” he said in a very low tone, almost inaudible. “I’m really really sorry.”

Yifan stood still, his hands on his hips and he took a deep breath. “Maybe… Maybe we’d better take a break so you can think over about our relationship. Ask yourself if you really love me, if you really want us to work.”

And Joonmyeon could only bit his lower lip and cry.

***

Joonmyeon came to the campus the next day with puffy eyes. He wished he could skip class but he had an essay to submit. He felt like a part of him was gone missing, like he was not fully alive.

He could sense pitiful stares from other students; at least that was what he thought. “The news might have spread already,” he thought.

Right now he only wanted to go home and sleep, hoping it was just a nightmare and when he woke up everything would be fine, Yifan would still be his boyfriend. When Joonmyeon saw his friends, he tried to avoid them but they were very quick to corner him and ask him if he and Yifan really broke up.

Joonmyeon’s silence answered their curiosity.

They could only pat him and hug him when he burst in tears. In the end, Chanyeol and Baekhyun drove him back home.

He quickly lied down on his bed, trying to sleep but images of Yifan kept dancing before his eyes. He heard a knock on the door. He dragged himself to open it only to see his boy… ex-boyfriend standing on the doorway.

“Yi… Yifan…”

Yifan stared at him before handing over a book. “I want you to read this.”

And he went away.

It was a journal. Yifan’s journal.

Joonmyeon sat on his bed, opening the pages of the journal one by one. He felt like reading a love story, their love story. He smiled when he read some cheesy lines and chuckled when seeing Yifan’s terrible draws.

But then there was a page that caught his attention.

How will my journey with Joonmyeon end? Well, first, let’s think of how we should start ours.

Proposal: Valentine’s Day 2015.

Venue: Plan A. Eiffel tower, Paris – this should be romantic :D

          Plan B. Sky Tree, Tokyo – this will do

          Plan C. Jeju Island – it means I’m broke or poor :p

Wedding: May 22, 2017

It’s Joon’s birthday. This should serve as the most romantic wedding in the galaxy. Joon should get his best birthday present ever: Myself hahahaha

He would look wonderful in white. Armani or Versace? *sigh* As if I could afford it. Anything for Joon. Whatever wedding suit he wants, he will get it. He will still look great on it.

I imagine us live in a small house with a large backyard where we can have barbecue every Sunday, watching our kids running around. I want us to have a son and a daughter. I’m thinking of adoption, if Joon agrees.

Our house will be lively! Joon will be a great father. He has this motherly aura and instinct. He’s really good with kids.

So, Wu Yifan, you have to graduate soon with remarkable grades and get yourself a good job so you can fulfill your dream! Jiayou!

I will make you happy Joon, it’s a promise. I love you and only you!

Joonmyeon held the journal tight and pressed it on his chest. He curled on his bed, crying his heart out. He regretted his stupidity. Yifan loved him and even had plans for their future and he just ruined it for a simple bet.

The damage was done. Their relationship was destroyed.

Yifan was only a memory.

***

It was Friday. It was supposed to be the deadline for his bet with Jessica. Despite their kiss, apparently Jessica heard the news that they broke up. And he believed she would humiliate him in front of other students. He had to face it. He would concede defeat.

She showed up with her friends. Her smirk annoyed him to his bones, but Joonmyeon had to face it.

“Well, well…,” she began with her sarcasm. “You got kissed but you got dumped, right Joonmyeon?”

“What do you want Jes?”

The girl sat right in front of him, putting a sweet smile on her face but to Joonmyeon the smile seemed mocking him.

“Admit it! You lose!”

Joonmyeon felt that suddenly his friends surrounded him. Jongin on his right, Jongdae on his left while the rest stood behind him. “Don’t say anything,” he heard Luhan whispered.

But what could he do? There was no way he would lie while probably half the campus already knew that they broke up.

“I… I… Yes, you’re right…. I…”

Before he finished his sentence, he heard a loud commotion. Everything seemed blurred but Joonmyeon was sure that he saw Yifan running to his direction and the next thing he knew was that Yifan crashed their lips together.

The kiss felt right. It felt wonderful. It seemed Yifan poured all his emotions into the kiss. And Joonmyeon wanted to cry. He kissed Yifan back, ignoring the gasps and whispers and shouts from everyone else.

“I love you,” Yifan said. “You’ve read my journal, haven’t you?”

Joonmyeon nodded.

And suddenly he felt a cold metal item being slipped in his left ring finger. “I want to make you mine. Can I?” Yifan's voice sounded like the sweetest melody he had ever heard in his entire life.

Joonmyeon blinked his eyes repeatedly. He stared at the white gold ring in the shape of wings. He looked at Yifan’s eyes and all he could see was abundant of love and affection and determination. “Yes,” his lips were trembling when saying that one word.

And Yifan kissed him again, hard. And he did not mind nor care.

***

“Why did you suddenly show up?” Joonmyeon asked Yifan when they cuddled, , covered with a blanket, on Yifan’s bed.

“I just… I thought of losing you and that scared the Hell out of me. And suddenly all these plans didn’t matter anymore because I realized that sometimes you have to act spontaneously. The next thing I knew I was already inside the jewelry store, picking up this pair of rings for us,” Yifan said, with a hint of rosy blush on his cheeks.

Joonmyeon chuckled.

“I thought I lost you already. When you gave me your journal, I just realized that some things are better kept for ourselves and I don’t mind we don’t have PDAs.”

Yifan pulled him closer so Joonmyeon could rest his head on the tall guy’s chest. He loved listening to Yifan’s heart beat.

“It’s okay to kiss in public once in a while as long as we don’t overdo it,” Yifan said.

They kissed again. Suddenly Joonmyeon could not wait until Yifan materialized all his plans. It must be wonderful to have someone to spend the rest of his life with. And it would be him and Yifan.

They heard Joonmyeon’s phone buzzed. There was a text message from Luhan.

“Will you take a selfie on the bed, topless? Pretty please! We have another bet to win.”

Yifan read the text and laughed. “Damn it! Luhan must share his victory with us.”

“So?”

Joonmyeon gave his puppy eyes – one of Yifan’s weaknesses – and his boyfriend smirked. “If that’s what they want…”

Yifan took Joonmyeon’s mobile phone and stretched his long arm. “Ready? One, two, three… Cheese!”

And the cafeteria went wild. Luhan, Jongin, Kyungsoo, Minseok and Jongdae jumped in joy after Yifan sent their selfie while Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Tao and Sehun counted the money they earned from the betting.

Yixing was the only one who got drown in his own world. He stared at his mobile phone screen that showed Yifan and Joonmyeon with their bare shoulders and chest, lying on their bed. His friends turned their attention to him when Yixing said: “Hey, Joonmyeon had 10 hickeys on his neck and chest!”