Random Rambles: Hi guys, how are you doing? For those that are up to date with all the goings on in the Exo fandom, I hope you're doing well and hope you're not too sad. Let's support each other, okay? Always 12 in our hearts (and in fanfics, thank goodness ^^;), saranghaja <3 

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After I made a lightning fast escape from the science club, I hurried to my locker to grab my stuff and dashed back home. I still couldn't believe that that happened. Why did I keep ending up meeting them? Suho's gaze had given me the chills, like I was dunked into a pool of ice cold water, but there was something in his eyes... I knew I must have imagined it, but now that I think back to it, there seemed to be a red shine in them, something telling me that I should back off or suffer the consequences. 

It was a rather interesting day to begin with. I'm just pleased that everyone is aware that I'm a girl and that those guys apologized for what happened in the locker room. I highly doubt that we can start being friends, the awkwardness in the science club was proof of that, but I can't deny that I still feel a strange pull towards them. 

I didn't want to think this way about twelve guys, but... was I attracted to them? I wasn't the type of girl that would have random crushes on every guy who breathes, but I never felt so drawn to guys like this before either. Aish, Jae, what's the matter with you?

No, this wasn't love. This was fascination. I was curious and I wanted to know them, while at the same time I wanted to stay as far away as possible from them. I didn't like how I was so preoccupied with them, thinking about their faces and their characteristics, beating myself up over the fact why I was so freaking drawn to them. Add to that, that I was feeling pangs of anxiety again. Very restless, concerned and confused about my place in this world. When those twelve guys weren't occupying my mind, I would see flashes of a butterfly, green and golden fields, clear blue skies and stars. I don't know...maybe I'm overexhausted?

Things felt a little worse when my dad came home. He told my mom about the founder of E.T. Corp paying him an unexpected visit which nearly gave the poor guy a heart attack, but then he said that he had gotten a project that might change the world. I know my dad, and he gets overexcited real easy, but this time, he really seemed stoked about it. 

Mom found a strange object in his bag and he quickly snatched it away from her. "Sorry, honey, that's company property. I want to take a close look at it myself before starting the project," he had explained, but the velvet cloth that covered it had slipped and I saw the tip of the hilt of a dagger, a green glowing heart in the middle of it. It was just a glimpse, since my dad speedily covered it again and placed it in his safe- yes, he owns a safe, because being the CEO for a company like E.T. Corp meant that you shouldn't ever take chances - but something...awakened in me. 

When I caught a glimpse of that green heart, it felt like everything around me suddenly pulsated. I heard a clear and distinct heartbeat and it caught me off guard. My head became heavy, a cold sweat had taken over and my own heart felt like it was going to bust out of my chest. This was worse than any feelings of anxiety I ever experienced. What's worse, was the fact that I probably lost consciousness, which never happened before. 

I think I was dreaming, after that. I was standing in the center of a dream world, twelve odd symbols circling around a tree in front of me. I remember wolves howling and the moon spinning around the sun. And a green heart, pulsating within a majestic tree. 

I woke up in my room, hearing my parents' concerned voices, and the voice of a doctor, who assured them that I had a fainting spell, but that I should be alright by morning. The disturbing part of all of this, was when I woke up and wondered at first to whom those voices belonged to. Parents, who were they? Maybe it was an effect of losing consciousness, that I had very briefly lost my memory, but it scared me. I didn't feel like myself. I felt like two different people at the same time. 

I couldn't sleep, I couldn't rest, my mind was spinning with confusing and haunting images of fire and ice and black smoke. Thunder clapping, lightning flashing amidst a heavy rain storm, and that howling. That dreadful howling of wolves ringing in my head! It was driving me insane. 

It didn't help that the silvery light of the moon spilled through my window into my room. Is it just me, or does that moon look particularly good tonight? 

"Ah, what is this?" I murmured, hearing my parents retire for the night. I pretended to sleep when they came to check up on me, and the moment when I knew they fell asleep, I rolled out of bed, feeling feverish when I looked at the moon. It was nearly full and the longer I looked at it, the more restless I was feeling. Without any rational reason, I wanted to run. Fast. Right now. 

My body was trembling when I changed my clothes and quietly snuck out of the house - something I had never done before. I was scared and felt like I couldn't control myself. Why was I like this? What's happening?

I actually felt relieved when I was outside and only the moon waited. I had brought my music with me, put on my earphones and ran. I didn't even know where I was running towards, as long as I could run. And this was me, Jae Miyano, who hated running with a passion. I never ran for fun, I only ran when necessity drove me to! 

But the moon was so bright. The wind was so refreshing. It felt so good to be out in the dark like this, with only the slithering light of the moon to guide me. Soon, I was in an abandoned part of the island, at least, it felt that way. I wasn't even scared to be alone like this. I ran on the dirt road and only stopped briefly to listen when I thought I heard an actual wolf howl in the far distance. Thinking about the white wolf I saw, I ran with just a bit more caution, but startled altogether when a few moments later, I heard a crash not too far ahead of me. 

"Ah! Ow!" a voice said, that had me rattled for a moment. There were people here? Maybe this person got injured? 

I ran towards the source of the sound, blinking my eyes when I thought I saw someone scramble up to their feet and hide behind a tree. Was it better if I ran? The gentle breeze of the night floated by and I smelled a sudden fragrance of white lotus flowers, but to my knowledge, there wasn't a pond around here at all. 

"Hello? Is someone there?" I called to the shadow, that was obviously trying to hide from me. It's been a strange night for me, but I wasn't feeling scared at all. I promised myself that I'd go see a shrink if I made it back alive tonight, but my whole mind was scattered at the moment. 

"Hello? I, eh, thought I heard a loud voice, was that you?" I tried, seeing the person shift uneasily behind the tree, attempting to hide. "Hey, you know that I can see you, right? You're hiding behind that tree," I said, a little amused, while approaching the person. At this moment, the scent of lotus flowers became stronger. Was this person wearing a perfume? 

Whoever it was, though, was rather rude, since no reply came. "Okay then," I conceded. "Well, I hope you're okay. It sounded like you fell pretty badly," I commented, seeing the spot where the person obviously made a smack. When still no response came, I backed off and continued to walk. 

"You're concerned about me?" 

I froze and turned around. I recognize that voice. 

"Well, yeah, I guess you could put it that way," I started a little hesitatingly while I leaned to the side, in hopes of being able to see his face. "Don't think too much of it, though. I can't even see your face," I commented, more curious now since I know I heard that voice before. Could it be...them?

"You shouldn't worry for strangers. They might be dangerous," he remarked, and finally, he glanced towards me. I refrained from jolting back when I saw his eyes and he had already turned away from me again, hidden in the shadows. I felt my heart beat loudly again, the cold sweat returning. 

"I guess. But if you had been dangerous, you would've already done something," I remarked, trying to suppress my anxiety. "Are you sure you're alright?" I then started, my suspicion and fear growing. "Your eyes look really red."

I distinctly saw the shimmering red eyes, gleaming curiously at me before telling me that I should leave. Go home. Dangerous creatures roaming about.

I couldn't disagree with that. This person may have been one of them. By the time I ran back, I felt more refreshed than ever, but those red eyes continued haunting my mind. How was I supposed to sleep now? I quietly walked past my parents' bedroom, watching them sleep peacefully, before heading to my room. However, I passed my father's office and even though he had distinct rules of us not going in there without his permission, I found myself opening the door and slipping inside. 

His safe was typically hidden behind a scenery painting of Hawaii, and even though I didn't remove the painting, I felt like I was in a sort of trance when I touched it and could feel something pulsating from inside of the safe. I knew my dad had hidden that dagger in there. My heart beat wildly again, and even started hurting. 

I shouldn't be here.

I backed away quickly, trying to forget about the green heart and left to my room. Once there, I fired up my laptop, trying to take steady breaths. Then, I started looking up information about everything that had to do with wolves. The basic information, but myths and folklore as well. You had your standard werewolf stories, but that wasn't what I was looking for. Human transformation was another subject I found very fascinating, but when I looked up the effects of the moon, I was surprised at how many stories detailed encounters of people suffering from "lunacy", a madness caused by the moon. All of it could be scientifically or medically explained these days of course, but taking into consideration the things that have happened to me in one evening, I couldn't help but wonder whether I may be suffering from it as well. 

What was it with this island? What was it with the people on it? What was it with that moonlight that made me want to howl at it as well? When I turned my gaze back at my laptop screen, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and jolted back, nearly falling off my bed. I jumped over my laptop and headed for the mirror, looking at my eyes. They glowed a golden amber just now- I was sure of it! 

Crushing my eyes shut and rubbing my temples, I counted to ten, trying my best to calm down. I checked my alarm clock and tried to comfort myself in blaming the ungodly hour of the night for my sleep-deprived hallucinations. What was I doing here? I had school tomorrow! I carefully looked into my reflection and a pair of warm brown eyes stared confusingly back. 

Deciding that it was enough for one day, I closed my laptop, put it away and tried to sleep. When I found that I couldn't, I walked over to my window bench, drenched in the moonlight and quickly dozed off, the scent of lotus flowers still fresh in my memory.