Random Rambles: ..........hehehe....hihihi....hahaha...Buwhahahaahahahaha~~~! ◉‿◉

***

It's official. Everyone here needed glasses. 

It turned out that the room Mr. Bosch sent me to was filled mostly with boys' uniforms. Of course. Because, hey, why the freaking heck not? The few girls' uniforms I found were either way too small or only came with teeny shorts that I did not want to be caught dead in. Seriously, I might as well just jog up the track field in my undies. No one will notice the difference. 

Again, I resorted to the next best thing, which was a pair of baggy jogging pants and a loose t-shirt. It was the smallest boy size I could find and I figured it was better than nothing. Naturally it did nothing for my figure, but then again, it was P.E., I was there to work up a sweat, not to do a photo shoot. Still, as I walked out of the room and headed outside, I didn't feel all too well. Everyone really seemed to have the delusional belief that I was a boy and of all the first impressions I wanted to leave them, being a boy wasn't one of them.

Should I just randomly start walking up to people and go, 'hey, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I'm a girl!'? God, how embarrassing...

Walking up the track field by myself was nerve wrecking enough as it was, especially when I caught sight of D.O., who was surrounded by his eleven weird friends. He didn't see me and I did not feel like waving at him or anything. Not with any of them around. Luckily, I caught sight of a bunch of my new classmates and was greeted joyfully by Minho. Feeling slightly relieved, I walked towards him. 

"Hey, you survived the tour! So, what do you think of the school so far?" he asked cheerfully and I shrugged a little. 

"It's big, but it's cool, I guess," I answered, my mind still a bit preoccupied. Did Minho really think I was a guy? 

"Yeah, but it's still school, right?" he nudged understandingly. 

"Yeah, exactly," I nodded and rubbed the back of my head. "Hey, Minho, can I ask you something?" I started, wondering whether I should do this or not. 

"Sure, man, what's up?" 

I cringed a little at the word 'man' and looked around. "Eh, this might seem a little strange, but well..." Yeah, well, what, Jae? How are you going to continue now? 

"Eh...Don't you think this uniform looks a little weird on me?" I finally decided, since I was too chicken to just ask him whether or not he thought I was a guy. Of course I received a look of bewilderment and confusion from his side before he started laughing. 

"I don't know, man, it looks normal on you, I guess," he chuckled. "It's a little big, though," he admitted, but just kept chuckling. 

I sighed, feeling warm. "And you don't notice anything odd about it?" I tried, realizing awkwardly that this was starting to concern my feminine pride a little as well. I've admittedly, never been very- voluptuous in my curves, but I always thought I had enough to be proud of, at least. 

"Uh, nope, why? You want fashion advice, go ask Lili, man," he chuckled again and shook his head at me in amusement. Not the first time today, but I really wanted to find a hole in the ground and crawl into it. I saw Lili a little further away, she was the fresh-faced girl who made the remark that I sounded like a girl. She was surrounded by a group of other girls from other classes and years, giggling with one another and it surprised me how much I wanted to be a part of that. I mean, come on! I'm a girl! 

An arm suddenly s around my shoulder and I lifted an eyebrow at Minho. He was smirking and jerked his head towards the group of girls. "Pretty cute, right? I don't know who designed the girls' P.E. uniform, but I'm grateful to them," he wiggled his eyebrows and I frowned at him. 

Ew, really?

"I don't know, I think those shorts are just a bit too short," I stated, earning another look of confusion. 

"What? Are you serious? Those shorts are perfection- oh wait," Minho looked at me and I looked back expectantly. 

Finally! Did he realize?

Minho pointed at me and I waited rather impatiently for him to put one and one together. "You're one of those gentleman-type of guys, huh? Clever, clever, girls will totally fall for that," he nodded his head in approval, but I only groaned and facepalmed myself. 

"Alright, everyone gather around! Let's get started!" Coach Bosch called, blowing his whistle. I stood with Minho a little in front of the group and when I made the mistake to look over my right shoulder, I saw them again. Twelve people glancing at me as if I didn't notice. What was up with them? D.O. was part of their group apparently, but he wasn't that hostile towards me. I risked another look and my gaze was caught by the popular dude with the doe eyes. I still felt unpleasant shivers when he looked at me, as though I was exposed, or something. I quickly turned away and tried to listen to Coach Bosch's instructions for today's P.E. class. I didn't like the fact that the twelve of them were standing behind me. Why did I feel like I was on edge with them gathered around like that? I didn't even know them...

"Heh, guess Luhan didn't like you staring at his fan base," Minho commented. 

"What?" I frowned, whispering. 

"The dude's staring a hole in the back of your head. Did you step on his toes, or something?" Minho asked, finding the situation amusing. 

"No," I whispered back, watching Coach Bosch explain what we were going to do today. I bit my lip a moment before leaning back towards Minho. "Those twelve dudes, what's up with them?" I asked and Minho briefly looked behind us. 

"Ah, you've noticed," he nodded. "They're a bit strange, well, maybe not strange per se..." Minho seemed to struggle in finding a way how to explain. "They're very different. Like separately they could be anyone, but together, they're like this elite group that no one can get into, you know? Overall, they're cool guys though, maybe a little bit too cool," he explained, but none of it made sense to me. 

"They're from different years, right?" I continued asking and Minho nodded before giving me another questioning look. 

"Why the sudden interest in them?" he asked, and I shrugged, trying my best to not seem curious at all.

"No reason. It's just-," I closed my mouth. I probably shouldn't say it. Minho nudged me when the coach started dividing the classes into random groups. 

"Just what?" he asked. 

"It seems like they've an interest in me, or something," I mumbled, expecting Minho to laugh. He looked behind us again, but there was no playfulness in his voice when he said,

"If that's the case, I'd keep my distance for a while. I don't know what you did, bro, but they look pretty pissed off," he patted me goodnaturedly on the back and grinned again when the coach put him in a group of people he knew. He greeted me, wishing me luck, and I waved shortly at him. 

"Looking good in that uniform, son," Coach Bosch remarked and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It having to grin and bear it, especially since it was so painstakingly obvious that the chubby P.E. teacher was just being genuinely friendly and trying to put the new kid at ease. 

"Thanks, sir," I replied, taking a deep breath. 

Coach Bosch smiled. "Tell you what, why don't I start you off at the soccer field? You look like you've the physique of a soccer player," he noted. Panicking slightly since I've the hand-eye coordination skills of a three-year-old, I quickly shook my head. 

"Not at all, sir. I'm really not that good at sports, actually," I immediately confessed, to which the kindhearted coach patted me supportively on the shoulder. 

"Come now, Jae, no need for humility. I'm sure you'll do just fine," he reassured and assigned me to a boys' team, of course. Even though classes were coed, boys and girls were teamed up separately, to keep things fair, probably, but at this point I was too tired to protest against it. 

I didn't know anyone of the team I was put in, but they were nice guys. They called me 'hyung', apparently since I was the eldest in the group. The others were a year or two below me. I didn't even bother correcting them now. Maybe it would be fun to pretend I was dude through high school. I mean, what are two years, really? (Someone help me...)

"Aw, man. That's the first team we're up against? Most of them are seniors!" one of them protested. 

"Not to mention that half of them are in the soccer team," another added and I winced at hearing it. Great... this can't possibly get any-

"Luhan-oppa! Xiumin-oppa! Fighting!" Lili's gentle voice sounded from the sidelines, a choir of girls' voices echoing after her. 

I cringed when I saw the first team we had to play against and wanted to run away. Why is this happening to me? I whined internally, freezing up when I saw the both of them catching sight of me and smirking devilishly. This did not bode well for me. Honestly, what did they have against me?

"Oh! Jae-sshi, is that you? Whoa, you look cute in your uniform! Fighting!" Lili exclaimed cheerfully, granting me attention that I really didn't want.

"Eh, thanks," I shouted back as she waved.

"Luhan-oppa, Xiumin-oppa, go easy on Jae-sshi! He's in my class and he's new!" the far too sweet girl piped up, meaning well, but I nearly imploded out of embarrassment.

"No worries, we'll take care of him," the doe-eyed guy replied, but something told me that he didn't meant it in a friendly kind of way. Wow...I'm screwed...

"Luhan-hyung and Xiumin-hyung are in the school's soccer team," Lee, a tall guy with glasses, told me.

"Ah. Wonderful. Are any of you in the soccer team?" I asked, but they shook their heads.

"Swimming team."

"Track team."

"Bowling," Lee finished, raising his hand with a smirk. "No worries, Jae-hyung, it's just a friendly game. Is anyone up for being captain?" When all eyes me I quickly waved my hands into an X. 

"I'm new at this, I think I'm better at being a goalie, if you don't mind," I stammered, to which they fortunately agreed. Lee would be the captain and the game started. I watched the guys play, grateful at not having to run after a ball like an idiot, but gulped when I realized just how good Luhan and Xiumin were. They worked together mostly, passing the ball around with grace and obvious skill. When they steadily approached me with the ball, I panicked. However, at seeing that smug grin on Luhan's face, my attitude changed. I didn't know what his problem was, or what he had against me, but I was a little sick at how easily I let him intimidate me.

So, when he ran towards me with the ball, I planted my feet on the ground and met his gaze, to show him that I was accepting his challenge. He didn't seem to appreciate that much and took a full swing at nearly blinding speed. The most remarkable thing about that, however, was the fact that my reflexes went straight to the ball and it landed in my hands with a very loud thud.

"Ow," I exclaimed, feeling the ball burn in my sore hands. What was up with him? Was he trying to knock my hands off? Damn, that was a ridiculously powerful kick.

I was still wincing in pain when my team came over, cheering and applauding, patting me on the back, and it took me another second to realize why. Luhan was looking at me, as though he wasn't happy that I had prevented him from scoring a goal. Maybe there was a little bit of bewilderment in his gaze as well.

Yeah, come at me, bro!

"Well done, Jae!" Coach Bosch suddenly shouted. "You should try out for the soccer team, no one has been able to stop Captain Luhan's power kick like that before, eh?" the P.E. teacher walked on the field, patting Luhan on the shoulder, so the guy had no choice but to break eye contact. He gave an awkward smile at the teacher before turning to me, beaming a grin that was obviously a mask.

"Yeah, you should try out. You're small, but I guess you can't judge a book by its cover, right?" the smile didn't reach his eyes. I didn't really respond to him. 

The match continued and in the end, we lost, which was no surprise at all, but I've gained some respect from people since I was a pretty decent goalie. I wasn't able to stop any of Luhan's kicks after the first one though, so it was written off as beginner's luck. The coach was, nevertheless, still enthusiastic and hoped I'd try out, which was totally not going to happen. 

The rest of P.E. consisted of groups rotating so that we'd be matched against another team at another sport. This way, I got the joy to meet up all twelve guys who got me bad vibes, with perhaps the exception of D.O., who seemed to have retreated into his own world somewhat, not really interacting with me, but not necessarily ignoring me either. He looked a little uncomfortable though. He must've been aware about his friends' sentiments towards me by now. Not wanting to pressure the guy, I kept my distance, only giving a small nod of the head if he happened to acknowledge me. 

When P.E. finally came to its end, the coach thought it would be fun to have all the girls race each other on the track. The boys would follow after. I was sitting on the grass with my group, feeling every muscle in my body shout out in agony at me, when Minho joined and sat next to me. 

"Coach Bosch," I started, pulling out some of the grass, "he's a sadist in disguise, right?" 

Minho laughed at my question and patted me on the shoulder. "He's a sports enthusiast- his own words. The coach is a good guy though, he just wants to make sure all of us work up a sweat to stay healthy," he shrugged. "You were doing pretty well today. You went head to head with some of the majestic twelve, very impressive. I think you may have won Lili over just a little bit, so better be careful when Luhan is around," he joked, but I only groaned.

Sure enough, right on cue, Lili shouted at us from the track and waved. "Jae-sshi! You're watching, right?"

Oh dear Lord... I blushed heavily and tried to cover my face with my hands. "Fighting," I ended up exclaiming, making her giggle. I have to make this stop. This is getting way out of hand. But how are you going to do that?

The race ended without me paying much attention to it. Minho dragged me to my feet and I shuffled towards the track field. I was in no mood to run. I was way too exhausted. The only thing that I was genuinely happy about right now, was the fact that I got to go home after this. School day was over. I happily ignored the fact that I still had a whole week ahead of me. I was just happy that the day was ending. 

"Don't work too hard at this," Minho suddenly said beside me. 

"Huh?" I questioned, stretching my legs and sore arms. My hands still hurt after stopping Luhan's power ball- yeah, that sounded more than weird... Anyway, moving on!

"Just watch your twelve buddies," Minho stated, a mischievous look on his face. We got into position when the coach gave the signal to start. I ran with whatever strength I had left in me, when I felt Minho nudge my wrist and pointed ahead of us. My eyes widened when the so-called majestic twelve were in the lead, racing each other like mad. That may not have seemed very impressive, but the speed at which they ran sure was. Within seconds they had covered a quarter of the track, evenly matched as they were. In the end, it was the kid with the bronzed skin that won. I didn't even know why the rest of us were still trailing behind them to finish the race. 

"Did you see it? Insane, right? They run like horses or something," Minho noted, out of breath. I was still doing my best to control my own breathing. 

"They seem more like wolves to me," I noted, watching them pass by, laughing and teasing each other, without so much as a hint of fatigue about any of them. 

"Wolves? Ha, good one," Minho chuckled and huffed out a few times, chest panting. 

"Good job, everyone! Alright, I'll see you all next Monday! Get a shower and get out of here!" Coach Bosch yelled and those words were like sweet music to my ears. 

"Go on, go to your other clubs, or go home, Chen- detention, don't think we don't know, buddy," the coach pointed at the grinning teen as everyone went back to the locker rooms. 

I took my time to catch my breath and calmly walked back. I had left my stuff at the room where the coach asked me to find a uniform, so maybe it was better if I just quietly walked to a girl's locker room and flash everyone so that they can all see that I was one of them and not a random ert. I know how that plan sounded, alright? But I was tired, my body was sore, everything hurt, and screw it all. 

"Jae-sshi!" a sweet voice rang in the air and I glanced at Lili walking towards me. Oh man, not now...

"Hi, Lili," I greeted, using my super girly voice to hopefully get her to realize that I was a girl, just like her. 

"Hi! You were really good today!" she complimented easily and I smiled. She seemed like a sincere, sweet girl, but the fact that she had somewhat of a naive and oblivious look about her made me a little uneasy. 

"Thanks, you're sweet for saying so," I replied as we walked into the hallway. 

"I meant it. I hope you liked your first day, though. I can imagine it's hard being new. I look forward to get to know you better," she said politely and I nodded. 

"Likewise. I'd like that," I immediately replied, desperate for a girl to talk to. 

"Great! Well, I'll see you later then," she greeted, waiting for me to turn the other way. 

"Oh, well, actually, since you said you wanted to get to know me a bit better," I stammered, panicking a little when she gave me a suspicious look. "No, no, don't misunderstand!" I immediately piped up, which just made her smile awkwardly at me and then started blushing. Oh wow, I am giving her the wrong impression. Why am I such an idiot?

"Jae-sshi, you shouldn't tease! Go to one of the boys' locker room and clean up," she demanded, amused at me being clumsy. 

"No, that's what I wanted to say, I can't go to the boys' locker room, because I want to go with you," I tried to explain, shock settling in Lili's eyes and my own eyes widened when I realized how that sounded. 

"No! Wait, that's not what I meant! I mean not with you as in with you, I meant along with you to the girls' locker room because-," I cringed at seeing her slowly shuffling away from me. 

"Ah man, this is not going right," I grunted. "I'm not a ert," I started, hoping that I could try this again, but the moment I opened my mouth to speak, Coach Bosch came out of nowhere and slung his arm around my head, putting me in a headlock as he dragged me along with him. I heard Lili giggling as she watched us walk away. 

"See you later, Jae-sshi!" she piped up, disappearing. 

"Ow! No, no, no, wait, Coach- ah, wait, let me go!" I struggled under his hold and tried to escape when I saw that he was starting to open the boys' locker rooms one by one. 

"Oh, this one's obviously full," he whistled as he dragged me along. "That was very smooth, son, but you should know that school regulations state that girls should dress at a girls' locker room and boys should do so in the boys' locker room. No peeking or sneaking in, buddy," he chuckled, but I only groaned out of utter embarrassment. 

"I wasn't planning on anything like that," I tried, desperately trying to get out of his choke hold. 

"Hmhm, come on, buddy, you honestly don't think that I don't remember what it was like to be your age? Look, I completely understand that boys- ah, full -, your age have certain needs and curiosities about the opposite , but you really can't do stuff like that here, son. You might get expelled, so you're lucky that I was the one who caught you. Other teachers may not be so understanding," the coach ranted, chuckling now and then while he opened doors to see whether they were full or not. Meanwhile I was still struggling and trying to get away from him.

"But, sir, trust me when I say that you and I are two very different people," I grunted, pushing his arm away, but he wouldn't budge. 

"That's what they all say, my friend. Look, I may be a little older and yeah, I got a little extra in the tummy area, but I was a teenager once. I was a pretty good-looking fellow, too, kinda scrawny, like you- no offense, so we weren't that different," the coach persisted and I only groaned while he guffawed. He opened another door and I felt like running for my life.

"Sir, you're seriously about to make a huge mistake," I started, my voice sounding desperate, especially since the coach just continued laughing.

"You don't quit, do you, kid?" he shook his head in amusement. "Ah! Why is it that the twelve of you always end up having an entire locker room to yourselves?" he shouted, but my heart nearly stopped.

Twelve?! Oh, God, oh God, oh God, oh God- No!

 "Just luck, coach!" a cheerful voice sounded from within the room. 

"Hmph, 'just luck' my hairy ," the coach replied in jest. "Well, make some room for number thirteen then, boys. I've a straggler here, so be nice to him," he piped up and I felt like I was being punched in the gut. He was not serious, was he?!

"W-wait, Coach!" 

Before I knew it, I was shoved into the locker room and that was it. Panic mode was on and I forgot how to function. Turning around with the speed of light I headed back to the door, but the coach was still there and pushed me back in.

"Go on, son, no need to be shy, buddy. We're all men! You just make sure you take a shower, don't worry about your stuff in the other room, it'll be there when you're done. Boys, make sure he doesn't leave until he's clean," he instructed and waved as he closed the door behind him.

Oh. My. God. This was not happening! 

"Jae?"

Since I'm a human being who would naturally respond when they hear someone call out their name, I turned around, only to see D.O. dripping wet from the shower, with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. 

"Oh snap- hi," I exclaimed, quickly averting my eyes to the very interesting ceiling, upon realizing that basically all of them were half- and to my regret I may have unconsciously been flashed by a or two. Oh God this isn't happening. Someone get me out of this situation!

I was pretty sure that my head was about as red as a tomato right now, and I honestly did not know what to do with myself. I was frozen from utter shock and I was waiting for my body to calm back down so that I can head to the door and bolt. 

"Why are you standing around there for?" D.O. asked. Could he be more oblivious?! Did he not see me trying my hardest not to look at any of them? It totally didn't help that they were eyeing me in suspicion as well. This was the first time today that I actually wished I was a real boy. Honestly I felt so betrayed by my girl-hormones right now. I could not stand their heated glares directed at me, abs flashing all over the place- seriously, the audacity! 

Groaning inwardly, I knew I had to come up with something to say. 

"Whoohoo, Bacon's in the house!" one of them suddenly appeared out of the shower, drawing attention and I nearly shrieked when I saw that he wasn't wearing anything. 

"Oh my God," I breathed, quickly covering my face with my hands. 

"Hey, it's the newbie!" he said casually, completely at ease, totally relaxed, while I was flipping my lid. 

"Newbie? Hey, what are you doing here, Newbie?"

I recognized that voice. Coach Bosch had called him Chen, but I remembered Mrs. Tan calling him Jongdae. I really didn't want to find out whether he was too or not, so I just grunted and kept my face covered. I could hear them making soft remarks about my behavior and laughing, but I really didn't care. I am not opening my eyes until I get out of here. 

"What is it, Newbie? You're not shy, are you?" someone spoke. I could faintly hear a subtle lisp in his way of speaking, and I flipped when someone's fingers were wrapped around my wrists, trying to pull my hands away. "What? You act like you've never seen guys getting dressed before," he remarked and I pulled back when he managed to get me to look at him. I did my best to not notice that he was tall, had attractive platinum blonde hair and was only wearing his boxer shorts. 

"I- uh, um..." I stammered, still panicking. 

"What? Do you need help getting undressed or something?" another ridiculously tall guy asked, his smile seeming to brighten up the room. "Here, need help?" he provoked under the laughter of a few of his friends when he reached for my shirt. 

"Whoa! No, hey- get away!" I shooed him off, but that just made him laugh. I blinked when someone threw a slipper at his head. 

"Chanyeol, don't be an idiot," D.O. quipped dryly. 

"You're gonna have to take a shower sooner or later. You heard the coach," Suho said in all seriousness, as I tried my utmost best to not stare at his six pack. I was genuinely relieved when he started putting on his white collar shirt. 

"Y-yeah, about that, I think I'm just gonna skip the shower," I said quickly, swallowing. It was getting way too hot in here. 

"Why? Are you scared to shower by yourself, or something?" another lanky teen asked. He was the one with dark circles under his eyes. 

"Eh...yeah, sure, that's it. 'Kay, bye," I turned around to make a dash for the door, when I nearly slammed into another sculpted chest and I looked up at the impossibly tall, honey blonde guy. 

"What's your rush, Newbie? Look, you're new and something tells me that we all kind of gotten on the wrong foot here-,"

"Kris," Suho warned, but I was looking at the ceiling. 

"So why don't we start again and get reacquainted?" the guy, Kris, suggested, but I didn't like the tone he spoke in. 

"There's no need for that, r-really, uh," I stammered, looking at the floor now, still trying to cover my eyes with my hands. "I'm just gonna go." 

"Okay, wait, buddy-,"

My eyes had widened to the size of saucers when he stopped me from moving. I looked down at the placement of his hands on my chest - oh yeah, exactly that area - and saw that he noticeably froze as well. He frowned at his hands in utter confusion, while I did all I could to not scream everyone's eardrums off. 

"...That's new," he muttered. 

"Oh, trust me, no that's not. That is actually what I've been trying to tell everyone the whole freaking day!" I bit back, to which he immediately retracted his hands and I rushed to cross my arms over my chest. 

"What are you talking about?" Luhan asked in curiosity, lazily drying off his wet hair, his skin still moist from the shower. 

"Whatever, who wants to help me get the newbie in the shower?" Chanyeol piped up, to which Chen and the dude who called himself Bacon (dear lord that boy did not know how to cover himself) jumped up to do so. 

Upon seeing two half- guys and one completely in his birthday suit rushing towards me, I ducked down, covering my face with my hands as I started to shout out of desperation,

"IMUHGULL!!" came the muffled cry. 

It was silent for a split second, when one of them asked, "...what?" 

Out of frustration, I removed my hands and took a deep breath. "I AM A GIRL!" I yelled and with that, I dashed to the door and kept running. 

***

The locker room had gone completely still, twelve eyes still staring at the door that had closed itself. 

"Did I just hear that right?" Xiumin asked, looking at his equally dumbfounded brothers. "Did he just say that he... was a she?!"

No one said a word, they all just stared at each other, except for Kris, who was looking at his outstretched hands as though he were cupping something. 

Suddenly, D.O. gasped. "I burped in front of her!" 

"You think that's bad? Sehun mooned her," Kai snorted to which Sehun gave him a smack on the arm. 

Baekhyun's jaw had dropped as he slowly reached for a towel. "Oh man, she met Bacon Jr.," he stated in shock, Chanyeol doing his best not to burst out in laughter at seeing the expression on Baekhyun's face. 

"Kris-ge, are you okay?" Lay noted, seeing his older brother still staring at his hands. Kris had a pondering expression on his face as he moved his hands towards his own chest and then outstretched them again, mimicking how he had stopped the newbie from running off. Then, as though it finally clicked what he had done and perhaps worse, what he had accidentally touched, he shook his hands and jolted back. 

"AH!" he exclaimed, startled. 

Suho still stared at the door, feeling utterly embarrassed, but he also knew that his previous suspicions and feelings had not changed. 

A girl? That definitely spelled trouble...