If there was one word that could sum up my life, it would be confusing. Maybe mediocre. Average, perhaps. Maybe all of the above. I've never been the kind of person to be outstanding in anything, never found life to be all that grand either, to be completely honest. I don't know, I guess I'm still waiting around to be absolutely wowed into a stupor.  

There's this thing about everyday routine that just makes you so comfortable and used to it, you're more than satisfied to just go along with the flow of things. I'm really no different. I go to school, hang with friends at the mall, surf the web, the usual stuff. Call me boring, if you want. Unexceptional, even. Usually, I just go by Jae. Jae-In Miyano. The daughter to a lovely, hobbit-sized Korean mother and a Hawaiian-Japanese father. Even though my roots may seem exotically exciting, I guarantee I absolutely am not. And you know what? I'm perfectly fine with that. Really. Totally fine... 

I heard the big, fat sigh escape my lips as I stared up into the clear blue sky. When not doing anything typically teenage girlish, I liked to take my bike and head over to the woods. There's a particular patch of meadow that I claimed as my own where I could lie in the soft grass amongst the wild flowers, shaded by tall trees. It was my personal slice of heaven, and frankly it was the one place where I felt completely at ease. 

Don't misunderstand. I like my life. I do. I've two amazing parents that have cared for me and loved me for seventeen whole years and they still haven't grown tired of me. I do well at school, as well as you'd expect an average student to do, and I have a nice group of friends I hang out with. Considering I'm in my impossible teenage years, I'd say I have my business in order. Though, there was this one little thing that nagged at me, ever since I was little, I suppose. You know how most people remember being a child, remember and knowing no other life than their own? Given, I'm somewhat of a natural scatterbrain, but hear me out. Usually, people are aware that they are someone's child, someone's sibling. They don't know any better than being who they are. They don't get sudden, inexplicable knots in their stomach because they're wondering where they're from and who they are. They don't dream of far away worlds with intense longing and deep emotions that cause them to cry when they wake up. Most of all, I don't think people would suddenly look around and wake up from their humdrum lives and start to panic, because they've no idea what they're doing. They've no idea where they belong and they've no idea why they feel so out of place. 

In moments of panic like that, I retreat to my little patch of heaven and look up to the sky. I feel safe and secure here, rooted in the earth. Even though it's quiet here, it's never silent. There's life buzzing all around me, it's in the wind and trees, the rustling leaves, the bending grass. I feel at peace here, but there's still a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, as though something very important is missing. 

Sometimes, when I couldn't be bothered with keeping to curfews, I'd stay in the meadow until the sun set and the stars come out to play. There's twelve of them that really catch my eye, twelve that seem to shine brighter than all the rest. I don't quite understand why, but seeing those twelve stars in the sky always makes me happy. Maybe it's because they've always been there, ever since I can remember. If there was one thing I remembered vividly from my childhood days, then it's them. Twelve amazing stars that shone so bright against the backdrop of the velvet night's sky. I loved watching them, loved to see how they shone. Sometimes I'd even talk to them, even though that made no sense at all. There was something about those stars that made me feel like they were somehow a part of me. They felt so familiar, they made me feel so warm. I belonged underneath those stars. I was home there.

Pathetic, right? You don't have to tell me, I know. Maybe I'm just so happy to see those stars shining above me, because I distinctly remembered a time crying so hard when I witnessed them falling. One, right after the other... 

But then, I'd wake up in my meadow, and see them again. Like a meeting of old friends. 

...Maybe I should try and get a life. 

"What do you guys think?" I looked up at the twinkling stars that watched over me, as I propped up my hands behind my head. I smiled as I imagined twelve celestial voices replying to me and closed my eyes. 

So, yeah, that's me. Jae. Regular teen, not-so-extraordinaire, with a strange star- and inexplicable panic attacks making me question my very existence. Still waiting for life to happen. 

Stars, if you're ready, I'm prepared to be amazed...