For Whatever It Is To Be Us (L)
Description
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I tell myself that he wasn't ready to love me, that I, myself wasn't ready.
And right now, I don't know whether I'll pick up my spoon to eat or wash the makeup from last night... I just now that I'm starting all over again (a reference from Falling Against us.).
I quit my job at SeQuin. Don't think I did this just because of Taemin. I did this because I kept going even though I didn't know where I was going... Modeling to me was never like that.
The stage I used to portray feelings someone else would some other day.
The person standing in front of that stage wasn't me anymore. It was a scared sea foam shell...
Foreword
"Where to start?" I laugh nervously.
"Whenever you're ready." The reporter said. I fixed my dress and brushed my hair behind my ears.
"Well, I transferred to YunA over a year ago and so far it's been great. They are all so kind, caring---," The reporter cut me off.
"You used to work at SeQuin. That company has produced so many well-known models and you also. Why did you choose to leave?"
"First, I have never once resented SeQuin. The people who work there are filled with buckets of talent. But, every decision I made on my own lead up to me changing myself." I looked down. "I didn't start until my 5th year and when things started getting hectic, I got stuck in the cracks and I let other people trample over me. There is competition to every lifestyle, but that wasn' the problem. With youth there comes mistakes ----like love----, there are fans, but they are out of my reach. I found someone to reassure me everyday that everything I did was for myself too... I got lost in THAT moment."
"So you ended your contract because of love with another worker within the company?"
"If I was that fragile, would I be here right now?" I looked at her dead in the eye.
And then I continued.
"Looking back to that day I learned one thing. ----There are different opinions of perfect and I happened to make an ideal for the people I loved [like him]. That I can say was a mistake on my part."
"Well, we have run out of time. Thank you for joining us Sulli. " She looked towards the camera. "Sulli will be in the March issue of DeschVu. This is Beya."
The lights switched off and I stood up. My people were ready to take me away, but Aisha kept me. "Even though it's been long since you've been on TV, I thought you did well. It was nice meeting you Ms. Choi."
"Thank you." I walked out the door and slipped on my glasses that shielded the flashes.
"You recieved many calls during your interview Ssul." "Bad?" I fixed my leather gloves as the driver started the car. "Offers... Juof, Plaintin, Jimmy Narks, SeQuin, One Ella, Divische---." "SeQuin? Please cancel that offer immediately."
I knew Sheeri was disappointed in my decision. "Are you going to treat them like strangers from now on?"
There was a lump in my throat. "No...---,"
I clenched my fists.
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