The story begins in 2011.  I will be divinding each chapter in "present time" and "2011" so it might be a little confusing at the beggining.  I hope everything makes sense after a few chapters.  Also, i will try to upload every week, cause i know how hard is to wait speacially if you like a FF.  Please, please, be understanding. Since English is not my mother tongue, i might be making mistakes.  That been said, enjoy:

I know he was always there for me.  I understand i lied to myself causing pain to him.  I am aware the kind love he has for me, but even with all the things i did, trying not to fall for him, i somehow ended up living in a love triangle, trying to decide between my soulmate and the love of my life.  And it hurts to see them, two great friends, fighting for someone like me.  In this moment i feel so unworthy.  I am ashamed because of my actions, because of what i did, but i swear at that time, i did what i thought the best.  I am here tonight to tell him what I have decided, about us. 

It started two years ago, after our maknae was chosen for the cast of “We got Married”.  I remember how Taeyeon unnie saying that SNSD wasn’t exactly lucky finding partners for that show.  Then, of couse she had to swallow her words when we met Seohyun’s fake husband.  He was indeed handsome but I wasn’t particularly jealous because he had a kind of personality that i didn’t find atractive.  When i told Seohyun he was like a kid she just laughed and said “That’s why he is perfect for me”, and that was it, i knew right away our maknae had fallen in love. She never confessed though, later she told us she didn’t want us to find out because she was enjoying the new felling.  She never have had a boyfriend before, and altough Yongwa waesn’t her boyfriend, she was puting a lot of effort to be a good wife, and that was the way she won his heart.  He fell for her pure, inocent actions.  All SNSD members were happy for her.  I tought they were a match made in heaven cause all the harshness in her life was filled with the humor only Jung Yonghwa knew. 

By the end of their one year marry it was obvious they had something going on, so Seo told the eight of us she was planning to see him after the show, not yet as a couple but as friends.  Two months after Yonghwassi appeared in our dorm as his oficial boyfriend.  He said he wanted to talk to us because we were like her older sisters.  While Taeyeon unnie was worried for the fragile heart of the maknae asking questions like a mother would do, Hyo and Sooyoung were really loud, they kept teasing them saying how good they look togheter and stuff.  Sunny was more worried about how they were going to have time for each other.  Jessica and Tiffany were giving our maknae advices for making a relationship a “GOOD RELATIONSHIP”.  I was only there, silent, when Yuri came.  She notice how serious i was and she was curious.  I told her it was just unbelievable Seohyun had fallen in love.  After all she was the role model of the grup.  She was always on time in schedules, she was never disrespectful, she took good care of her unnies, and most important, she was strict about falling in love with someone, cause she was too young, and her carrer was the most important.  Yuri just looked at me and smiled.  She then patted my shoulder and told me i was going to be able to understand once i found the one.  That said she got up and joined Hyo and Sooyoung.

After their first month as a couple Yonghwa invited us to his friend birthday party.  He said it was safer if we all showed at the party cause, if for some reason paparrazi caught us, then nobody will see him alone with our maknae.  The girls were excited. I was just tired.  I was really busy those days, between filming, rehersals and shows i barely had time to sleep. But when Yuri, as my best friend inside the group, and Jessica, whom i see as one of my closest members begged me to go with them i couldn’t refuse.

I am not the tyoe of person who believes in destiny, but the events that hapened that night lead the problem I am right now. At least thats what i think, cause i met both of them as a consequence of going to an event I waesn’t really enthusiastic.