Chapter 2
Behind the Masquerade Amber’s eyes shifted again as she studied the vast dining room that has been redecorated since she left the mansion as a child. She flinched at the sudden movement from the corner of her vision as a maid stepped in to switch out her plate. The scene had her thinking of her own mother.
Did she serve meals to them like this? How did she come to work for them? Why?
She pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind and thanked the maid for her service. Amber couldn’t help but notice the startled expression on the woman’s face before she bowed and left the table.
Amber had a privilege upbringing with Yeonseok’s aunt's family but they didn't have servants in their home. She and Chanyeol had no one trailing after them to clean up their mess. They had to complete the household chores on their own and hired helpers were a rare sight.
Hence the scene in front of her appeared alien to her. The maids stood out of sight but yet the moment someone sets down their cutlery, they would appear almost instantly to take away the dishes. She shifted uncomfortably in her dinner dress.
The Lees have always been focused on being perfect. Everyone was expected to be dressed immaculately for meals, turning up in their perfectly ironed outfits to perfect hair and make up. Due to his obsession with perfection, Lee Byungho had his wife sign papers to become the legal parent of his two illegitimate children in his attempt to project a perfect family image to the public. Despite the obligations of becoming a mother to the two children, Yoon Junghee has never once performed her motherly duties and despised Yeonseok and Amber because they reminded her of what she believes to be her husband’s mistakes.
Yoon Junghee was a woman in her mid-sixties but her youthful face managed to escape the claws of aging. Her pursuit of looking young was as relentless as her husband’s obsession of an ideal image. The plump lips that didn’t quite sit naturally on her narrow face was complemented by the smooth and taut skin—not a single flaw in sight—all thanks to the skilled hands of her plastic surgeon. Amber was surprised that the woman was still capable of showing her distaste for her—her eyebrows furrowed and her nose wrinkled at the sight of her arrival. Her lack of affinity for Amber was evident since she was a toddler and she was the reason for Amber’s departure to the US.
Her eyes slide over to the her eldest brother, only to find him staring back at her. Neither acknowledge each other and merely stared. Jehoon shared his mother’s eyes before she had her double lids constructed, and his father’s high cheekbones—her brother’s good looks predominantly a reminisce of their father’s younger days. Amber remembered the short period of her childhood spent in this home which was made awful by the mother and son. Jehoon bullied her endlessly and would make snarky comments—bad habits picked up from his mother—to a helpless little girl which did nothing but hurt her. It became so bad that she was eventually sent away after much convincing on Yeonseok’s part.
Amber turned to the woman on his other side. She hardly knew her sister-in-law and had only met the woman on her wedding day. She wondered how Haein was able to accept an arranged marriage to such a selfish and emotionally abusive man.
“What did you say?” Yeonseok leaned into her, and she realised that she had mumbled aloud.
“Nothing..”
The three half-siblings looked nothing alike since they were born to three different women. Although her relationship with the eldest was as sour as it could be, she got along perfectly well with Yeonseok. Junghee was livid when she found out her husband was having a mistress who eventually gave birth to his second son and began living under the same roof.
“Eunyoung—”
“It’s Amber,” she interrupted, reminding her father of her preferred name.
“Ah, yes. I’ve forgotten about it.”
While he merely laughed it off, Junghee had a scowl on her face. “Such a rude child. It only reflects the upbringing you had in the US,” she sneered.
Amber felt him tensed beside her and Junghee jumped in shock when a pair of chopsticks hit the table and rolled off its edges. She quickly grabbed onto Chanyeol’s arm to stop him and shook her head.
“You can say anything about me with that tongue of yours but do not speak ill of the people who did their best to raise me,” Amber hissed. “If I didn’t know better, your upbringing isn’t any better, Junghee-shi.”
It gave Amber much pleasure to see the woman eat her own medicine. “How dare you disrespect me!” the woman screeched, her voice making up for the limited facial movement.
“Yeobo, you’re just making a fuss out of nothing. I believe that sending Eun— I mean, Amber, over the US was a great decision. She did very well for herself over there,” Byungho chuckled at his daughter’s feisty temper, pleased to see her speaking up. “I apologize on my wife’s behalf for her less than nice words,” he said to Chanyeol, who has since lost his appetite.
“So what are your plans now that you’re back home?” Byungho set his utensils aside.
“I want to become your successor,” Amber turned to her eldest brother, her head tilted, the tip of her chopsticks on her lips. “Jehoon oppa, you don’t think that you’ll get the position without any competition?”
“Who are you to succeed my husband? You’ve only began working for a few years since college and you want to be the CEO of BH Group?” Junghee scoffed. “You don’t even deserve to be in line.”
“I have the very same right as your son to be the next CEO,” Amber emphasized. “I’m the daughter of Lee Byungho and that qualifies me to be eligible. You shouldn’t forget the successes that I’ve achieved before I decided resign and return to Korea.”
“That was a very bold and albeit unexpected statement from you,” Byungho fixed his attention on his youngest child, “but why shall I put my chips on you?”
“My resume speaks for itself. I was approached by the Manhattan firm during college after I placed first in a nationwide advertising competition.”
“I sealed three major advertising deals for the firm while I was there and I was promoted faster than any of their entry-level associates.” Her heart swelled in pride and Chanyeol flashed his thumbs up from under the table.
"You studied advertising and worked in advertising. We're talking about management now," Junghee countered, unhappy that her husband had sided with Amber earlier.
"You don't have to graduate from a certain field to be able to take that position," Yeonseok answered on her behalf.
Amber tried to suppress her smile, grateful that she has him on her side. “I’m a fast learner and quick to adapt. I was sent to London for an assignment and sealed my second deal over there.”
Her father hadn’t said a word and she squared her shoulders under his unrelenting stare, waiting for an answer as she flexed her clammy hands. He was a big man but it wasn’t his size that daunts her but his piercing gaze; it’s as if he doubts the truth in people’s words, his eyes on fixed the person, watching their every move while he decides whether he should accept it, subjecting them to an uncomfortable silence until he forms a conclusion.
“Give me a chance and you’ll see my capabilities with your own eyes.”
Her father shifted in his seat and finally provided a response to his attentive audience.
“If you can prove to me that you’re worth investing my interests in, you’ll contend with Jehoon for the succession of my company,” Byungho said. Amber was well aware that her father had only mention a brother, ignoring his other son who was sitting beside her. She glanced at Yeonseok from the corner of her eyes and he continued his meal as if their father’s words had no impact on him.
“But appa—”
“My word is final, Jehoon,” Byungho’s eyes flickered over to his eldest son, who pursed his lips in disagreement.
“I want you to manage the entertainment subsidiary. Show me improved profits in the next fiscal year and you’ll have my word,” Byungho ignored Jehoon’s protest.
The father and daughter shook hands. “Deal,” Amber said.
“You can’t!” Jehoon voiced his objection and narrowed his eyes at her. “The entertainment subsidiary is under my charge.”
“I have already made my decision. Is there a reason why you’re unwilling to let go?”
Jehoon paused, watching the smug look on Amber’s face. She arched an eyebrow when he didn’t continue.
“I’m sure Jehoon oppa is just worried about me taking over with my lack of experience.” Her emphasis on the term was not out of affection but done mockingly, in light of the unhealthy relationship between siblings. “Which is, of course, normal considering that he’d worked hard to get it to where it is now.”
“Oppa, keep in mind that my chances of being considered a CEO candidate is based on my performance, so I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it,” Amber reminded him and pushed back her chair, displaying a curt bow before leaving the room.
Amber didn’t make it far before she heard approaching footsteps followed by a vicious yank on her arm, nearly tripping her in the process.
“What are you trying to do?” Jehoon hissed, his eyes ablaze.
“You’re hiding something.” Amber said bluntly, and shrugged her arm out from his grip. “That’s why you don’t want me to do it.” She caught his hand before it could land on her cheek and twisted his arm in a swift motion behind him, pushing it higher over his back. “Were you taught to display physical violence? I wonder why your mother’s bothered with my attitude when she should have used her time to teach you to have a proper one instead.”
“Let go!” Jehoon winced over the pain shooting from his joint and Amber held his arm a little higher before shoving him away amid his cries of pain.
“I’ll find out what you’re hiding.”
His panic stricken gaze was all she needed to confirm her suspicion.
❧
The car was silent except from the occasional snores coming from the back seat in the form of an awkward slumped figure, who was dead tired from jetlag and the coma-inducing dinner.
“Chanyeol’s going to wake up with a crick in the neck,” Yeonseok commented as he glimpsed into the rear view mirror.
Amber shifted the bouquet on her lap, a finger the petals of a white chrysanthemum. She paused when she remembered their father’s lack of acknowledgment of him during dinner earlier.
“Oppa, what actually happened between you and our father?”
Amber wasn’t aware of the fallout until she was older when she realized that they have never visited her together—it was always on separate occasions. When she asked him about it, all he said to her was that he doesn’t see their father like how he used to anymore, which made no sense to her.
The car went over a ramp, leading them off the highway and into a narrow two lane road. He avoided her persistent gaze and made a quick glance at the still asleep Chanyeol.
“I told you before, I just didn’t see him the same way like I used to.”
“I know but what changed?” Amber wasn’t going to take no for an answer and tilted her head to one side, urging him to continue with a nod.
She prodded, “Come on.”
“Stop it.” Yeonseok snapped, the muscles in his face tightened.
Amber sat in stunned silence. He has never displayed any sort of anger towards her previously and she couldn’t help but feel slighted by his reaction and his refusal to tell her more. “Fine,” she mumbled.
The fatigue from traveling across the globe finally caught up on her and in addition to the silence of the car which added to her drowsiness as her eyelids grew heavier by the second, fluttering rapidly as she strained to keep them open. Amber thought she’d just shut them for a bit but when she reopened them, they had just pulled into the site of the graveyard amid the rays of the setting sun.
As they climbed to the top of the hill, Chanyeol wouldn’t stop whining about his sore neck, and without a word, she reached over to massage the back of his neck, stopping only when they arrived at the only grave on the hill. The cousins stood aside and watched Amber lay the flowers in the front of the grave and bowed with her head touching the ground.
I’m here.
Amber could hardly make out the stone inscription of her mother’s name and her eyes swept across the poorly maintained grave since her last visit.
The place where her heart should have been felt empty. If she had known her mother better, maybe she would’ve broken down and cry her eyes out, and not appear distant as if she were standing in front of a stranger’s grave.
She then wondered what her mother’s life would have been if she had not work for the Lees. If she had met and married a better man and have his child, maybe that child won’t have to face the things that Amber did.
I’ll be a stronger person and show those who had doubt me what I’m capable of. They may have sneered and looked down on me but I’ll have them eat their words. I have nothing to be ashamed of.
❧
“I don’t remember much about my mom,” Amber confessed and downed the cocktail, savouring the burning feeling left in the trail of the alcohol.
“How old were you when she died?” Chanyeol chewed on the leg of a dried squid.
“I think I was around five?” she turned to Yeonseok and he shook his head.
“Four.”
They were back at her place and decided to have few rounds of drinks. The drinking party began with much fun and excitement as they drank and played drinking games before the mood took a dispirited turn as Amber fell into a losing streak. By her seventh set of soju and beer cocktail, she raised the white flag and crawled onto the couch. “Just for awhile,” her voice muffled under the pillow.
Chanyeol chuckled then sighed, smiling fondly at her passed out form.
“You know, sometimes, being the only child ,” he said then tore off the squid’s remaining leg, “and Amber nuna is the best thing that has ever happened. She’s so awesome to be around. She’s like a sister that I didn’t have but considering that, she hardly spoke about her mom.”
Yeonseok nodded. “It’s understandable. She was so young at the time and couldn’t remember much unless I told her,” he eyed the younger man. “Just spit it out. What do you want to know?”
“Are you a ghost?” Chanyeol muttered, weirded by his cousin’s ability to see through him.
“No, just that your face is easy to read.”
Is that a compliment or a jab, he thought but pushed it to the back of his mind. “How did nuna’s mother die?” Chanyeol whispered. He shot a quick glance in her direction, worried that she might overhear him.
“Ahjumma died of antidepressant overdose.”
“Her mother was depressed?”
“She was by our father,” Yeonseok split the shell and popped the peanuts into his mouth. “It happened sometime after my mother’s passing. Ahjumma never recovered from the shock and went into depression after giving birth to Amber.”
Chanyeol nodded, and scooted over to his side, almost knocking over the empty bottles by the table. “You must’ve have been shocked when she passed away. You did mention that nuna’s mother used to care for you after your mom fell sick.”
“Yeah, she treated me like I was her own,” he said, pausing at the memory of her, a nostlagic smile on his face.
Yeonseok threw the empty shell onto the growing pile on the table and reached over to wean the eighth beer bottle out of his cousin's grip, slapping him on the back. “Come, let’s get both of you into bed.”
Yeonseok gathered Amber into his arms and carried her to her bedroom. He knelt and yanked the covers down, setting her on bed and nearly got kicked in the face as she threw her feet in the air to get off her slippers.
The moment the bedroom door closed with a muted click, Amber opened her eyes and pushed herself up from the bed. She listened to the sound of bottles being cleared away and checked the time on her phone.
1.30 a.m.
She wasn’t a light drinker but she needed the drinking session to end sooner so she feigned a passed out as the time got closer for the call that she has been looking forward to all night. She tucked her legs close to her body and wrapped her arms around them, propping her chin on her knees. It wasn’t long before the light outside went out and she heard the front door close, returning the place to its silence.
She shifted her head to lay her cheek on her knee when her phone vibrated against her thigh. She glanced at the caller ID. Dumpling.
“Hey,” Amber answered softly and lowered herself into bed, pulling the covers over her.
Whenever she was bored she’ll head to Chinatown and meet up with the boy she nicknamed Dumpling. When she first met him, he was caught stealing several dumplings on a winter evening.
She was buying the egg tarts that she promised Chanyeol when the owner started shouting insults at the boy and threatened to report him to the police, ignoring the boy’s reasons and pleas. She didn’t like how the owner was treating him and paid for the dumplings before leaving with the boy. However, without a word of thanks, he made a dash the moment they stepped out the shop. She was taken aback by his behaviour and stared after him in disbelief while passer-bys did double takes at the boy running down the street with the plate of dumplings.
Maybe he was too focused on keeping the dumplings from falling off the plate, he didn’t notice her trailing behind him. She didn’t know what made her do it. Amber halted and hid behind a wall when he stopped in front a small, narrow shophouse. She found it amusing as he combed through his hair with his fingers in an attempt to tidy himself.
She went up to the windows of the shophouse after he had entered and watched him through the crack of the window. He had stolen the dumplings, not to feed himself but to give it to his hungry mother.
“Me? I didn’t do much. We just came back from visiting my mom,” she muttered and smiled at the favour she was about to ask from him. “Would you sing to me?"
There was a pause.
She thought the call got disconnected until she heard him clear his throat and a sweet voice began to fill her ear. She pulled a pillow into her arms and couldn’t help but be reminded of their younger days.
“Why are you being kind to me?”
That was his first question when he found her standing in front of his home the next day with a bag in her hand. Without a word, she handed it to him.
He studied it with a hint of apprehension and she shook the bag of warm food, urging him to accept it.
“I’m not a charity case. I don’t want your pity,” he said, and stepped around her to enter his home. “Please leave.”
“Fine.” Her voice stopped him and his curiosity at her sudden change made him turn around. “I won’t treat you like one. You’ll earn this bag of food, agreed?” He didn’t try to make eye contact with the girl and looked anywhere but at her kind eyes. She looked younger than his fifteen years and he wondered what parents would let a young girl roam the city on her own.
He could tell that she wasn’t from anywhere around this place from her clothes and she definitely belonged to the part of society who doesn’t mingle with people like him. The girl stood before him in her fur trimmed wool coat and polished black boots, and he looked down at his own well worn winter jacket and faded jeans, feeling self-conscious as he ran his hands down his body to smooth out the lumpy material.
“What do you want me to do?” His hesitance obvious.
“I’ll tell you after you have this food with your mother.”
He scrambled after her when she walked into his shabby home uninvited. He had to make up an excuse when his mother asked about the strange girl in their home. “Ah, there were volunteers helping out on the main street to celebrate the lunar new year and they were just giving out food to build up the festive mood.” His mother nodded as she admired the feast laid out in front of her.
Go ahead, the girl mouthed to him. He picked the best portions of the roast chicken and placed them on his mother’s bowl before devouring what was left. Occasionally he would look up from his food to observe the strange girl and quickly dropped his head whenever she caught him staring.
“So what is it that you want from me in return?”
They were at the door of his home after dinner and he watched her open the red packet that his mother had shoved into her hands earlier. “Thank you, kind child. I wish you a good health and success in whatever you do,” his mother told the girl.
“It’s easy,” she said.
Although the amount was nothing compared to what she’d normally receive, it was the thought that counts as she pocketed the red packet with a satisfied grin and put on her gloves. “Be my friend.”
“Your friend?” he repeated, confused by her request. “Why would you want me to be your friend?”
“Why can’t you be my friend?”
She waved goodbye to him and left his home before he could respond.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Henry set down the phone and cast his tired eyes at the clock that hung on the wall opposite his bed. He calculated the time difference and pressed the speed dial on his phone. He took off his glasses and pinched the space between the eyes as he waited for the call to be connected.
“Why are you calling at this time?”
A tired smile stretched across his lips at the voice of the woman he loves dearly.
“It’s nothing. You just came across my mind,” he said. He got out of bed and walked to the window, looking out at the bright lights in the distance, the nightlife in downtown Seoul was still very young.
“It must be very late over there. Quickly get to bed, there’s work tomorrow.”
Although his mother hasn’t stopped nagging since she picked up his call, Henry was still glad to hear her voice. He hasn’t been back to see her ever since he returned to Korea more than a decade ago to join the police academy. He told her that once he was successful, he would bring her back.
“I have good news to share with you,” Henry said, and leaned against the wall adjacent to the window. “Not long from now, you’ll be able to see me every day.”
“Why?”
“At the end of this year, I’ll head to New York to bring you home,” he said. “I promised you that I’ll bring you home when I’m capable. It’s finally now.” He chuckled as he could barely make out his mother's words through her sobs.
Once he managed to comfort his happy mother, he bade her goodbye and told her that they’ll meet soon before ending the call. Henry turned off the lights and settled into bed but he couldn’t go to sleep. He thought of the tough times that the mother and son had been through.
Henry didn’t like leaving home for school. When he’s at school, he couldn’t stop thinking about home. The moment the bell rang for dismissal, he would grab his bag and rushed home.
On good days, he would reach home to find his mother busy in the kitchen, preparing for their dinner. But more often than not, his mother couldn’t be found there and he’d come home to shouting and an overturned house with things out of place and broken.
He would go the source of the sound and dragged his father away from raising another hand at his mother. In turn, his father would focus his anger on Henry and beat him until the former tires.
His father was never abusive to begin with. They were a normal family who had just immigrated to the United States after his father had decided to start a business with a partner. However, that dream never materialize when his father was caught in a scam and his business partner ran away with his savings.
Since then all his father did was drink all day and spend the cash his mother had earned in gambling dens. His father would return home after losing all his money and asked more from his mother and when she refused, he would physically assault her until she gave in. Henry could only stand by the door to his parents’ room and watched helplessly at the scene. He was only six when the nightmare began.
Now that he was older, he would force himself between his parents to protect his mother. After his father had enough, he would drink himself until he lay unconscious on the couch, leaving his mother to tend to Henry’s wounds and straightened up the house as much as she could until it began again.
It was the same old routine.
Until one day, his mother finally had enough and decided to leave. Once his father was knocked out by alcohol, she gathered the luggage that she’d packed earlier and ushered Henry out of their home.
It was the last time he had ever seen his father.
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