Chapter 25: A Few Times More

I’ve read from famous authors and writers and even heard from my colleagues that when you’re with the person you love, it’s automatically one of the happiest moments in your whole lifetime.

No matter what you do, or even though you don’t do anything, even if you just seem to be sitting together and looking at a park or even at nothingness, it would seem to be perfect. Like you’re both contented with just the mere presence of each other. You don’t even need to talk.

I wonder how they do that.

How can’t they get bored with doing nothing?

How can they be contented with just the presence?

But then who was I to question what they’re feeling?

Who am I to doubt if they are really feeling complete or not?

I’m just a girl who doesn’t even know her heart. How am I to know what that feeling should be?

“Sleep now.”

I ordered L.Joe as I tucked him under his blanket.

Am I seriously doing this?

Why do I feel like I’m taking care of my sick son? Ugh. Weird.

Or maybe you feel like taking care of your sick husband…

I rolled my eyes and sighed hard.

L.Joe looked at me. It was as if he wanted to tell me something but he couldn’t. Or he’s hesitating to do so.

I raised my brow at him. “What?” I asked him.

He sighed and held my hand. “Can you stay beside me please?” He pleaded.

I looked at him, shocked. “What?” I asked back.

“Lay here beside me.” He repeated.

I suddenly felt all my blood rushing to my cheeks. “Why would I do that?” I asked. “I am not-“

“YAH!” I yelled at him because he pulled me on top of him and secured me in between his arms. I tried to yank away but he was surprisingly strong. I narrowed my eyes on him. “Are you really sick?” I asked him because he was too strong to be sick.

He smirked at me and placed me beside him without removing his arms around me. “Even though I’m sick, I’m never letting you go.” He mumbled with his eyes closed.

I froze with his words. Lately, everyone seems to be speaking with double meanings.

I don’t even know if it’s coincidental or if they are intentional.

“You’re confused because you don’t know if you would pursue your feelings for him. Not because Woo Jiho is here.”

I stared at L.Joe’s face for a moment. Why can’t I get used to his face? Why can’t I stop myself from staring at him? I’ve already memorized every wrinkle on his face!

Then I remembered that I shouldn’t be here staring at him. I shouldn’t be here lying on the same bed with him. This is not right.

So, I tried to get off him but he wouldn’t let me.

“Let’s stay like this for a while.” He told me. Suddenly, his eyes were opened. “I need this more than medicine. I need you more than anything.” Then he pulled me closer to him.

I was buried on his chest. It’s hot. I mean, he’s burning up and I can feel his temperature this close. And I’m hot. I don’t know what’s happening to my systems. I can’t get a grip of myself.

“Better.” He mumbled and relaxed as he planted a kiss on top of my head. “I’d kill to get sick everyday if this is what I would get.” He chuckled weakly.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Are you kidding me?” I scoffed.

He smiled. “I told you. I would choose to be with you more than anyone else.” Then he kissed me on the forehead.

My eyes widened in shock. My heartbeat’s accelerating again, the Lee Byunghun way.

“Don’t leave me, Hana. Please.” He spoke again. “And don’t pretend like you don’t know how much I love you.”

I narrowed my eyes on him. “What?” I asked him. Don’t pretend like you don’t know how much I love you? Ha!

“Stop making me jealous through that darned Lee Jonghyun. Please. It’s killing me.” He cleared.

I stopped for a moment and thought of the things I’ve done. Through Mr. Lee? Making him jealous is not even in my mind. Why would I do that?

And of all persons why would it be with Mr. Lee? I could’ve used Woo Jiho, not Mr. Lee.

Oh! Snap out of it, Hana. What “use” are you talking about? Jiho is the best man in town.

“You don’t know what I’m talking about?” He asked me.

I shook my head innocently.

“17 times.” He said.

I raised my brow. “What?” I asked. What is he talking about?

“You looked at Mr. Lee 17 times today.” He said. “In the meeting, when the meeting ended. The total was 17 times.” He finished.

I looked at him in shock. How could he count all those times?

Was he looking at me all the time?

“You can’t deny it. I was looking at you the whole time.” He told me. “I was killed with jealousy.” He added.

I stopped and looked at him, thinking how creepy he’s become.

“You’re creeping me out.” I told him. “I was watching Mr. Lee because of Minji.” I told him.

He looked at me. “What about Minji again?” He asked me.

I chuckled. “See, there is this dating application on iOS and Minji has that.” I started to tell him the story. I didn’t know why I felt comfortable telling him this. But I am, so I couldn’t argue more.

“Why does she have that?” He asked.

“Because her manager told her that it was a good app!” I replied and he chuckled, maybe at my excited voice. “Then she has this friend there named Harem Magnet.”

“What kind of a lame name is that?!” He asked me, laughing.

I chuckled back. “I know right!” I told him. “Then this Harem man said that he works in KMS Marketing and he’s named Lee Jonghyun.” I added.

“Is it him?” He asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s why I’m trying to investigate. And I almost asked him if you didn’t tell me to follow you to your office.” I pouted.

He chuckled. “Sorry.” He said as he hugged me tight. “I just don’t like sharing you.”

I couldn’t speak. I wanted to tell him that I’m not his to share in the first place. But I don’t know why I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that.

Is it because somehow, I wanted myself to be his?

I stopped thinking. I don’t want to think. Right now, I’m with him.

“Just be with me.” He told me, changing the topic. “I can’t say be with me again because you were never with me. So, please…not just now that I am sick, be with me forever.”

And for the thousandth time, I am uttered speechless. How can he say these words?

“You should be resting.” I told him, trying to change the topic.

He smiled weakly. “You still can’t answer me.” He told me.

I looked away.

He nodded. “It’s okay. I’m not pushing you too fast.” He told me. “You need time? I’ll give you time. You need weeks? I’ll give it to you. Months? That’s a short period of time. Years? Heck. I’d even give you eternity.” He held my face and made me face him. “No matter how long it would take, I’d wait for you.”

He gazed into my eyes. “But don’t think that I won’t do anything while waiting. I’ll do everything to leave you with no choice but to love me. I’ll do it. Mark my word, Kim Hana.” Then he planted a soft kiss on my lips.

I didn’t know why my eyes automatically closed the moment his lips met mine.

Am I getting light to these confused feelings?

Then he leaned his forehead against mine as he brushed his thumb on my cheek. “When will this falling stop?” He asked me. “I fall for you harder and deeper every single day. It’s like the law of gravity. I can’t do anything but fall.”

I smiled. I can’t even remember the last time I smiled genuinely in front of him.

“I missed that.” He told me.

“What?” I asked.

“Your smile.” He replied. “You have never smiled at me this way ever since we met again.” He told me. “The last time I saw this smile is when I watched you when you were eating at Molly’s Café. You were enjoying that cheesecake.” He chuckled.

I looked at him. “You’re getting creepier every second.” I told him.

How could he remember the way I smile back then? It was a remote memory to me.

“Can you blame me if I held on to those moments too much?” He asked me.

I stopped. Are we going on another drama session again? Please. He’s sick.

He chuckled. “No. Because you did too. Admit it.” He told me.

I narrowed my eyes at him. I can’t say I didn’t because I did. Somehow, I did.

I have always remembered how he smirked, how he teased me around, how his face looked like when he’s sweating early in the morning because he went to jog, his face when we were eating in Seafood Island, his face when he had ulcer and he had to get hospitalized, his face when my finger was cut, his face when he’s telling me how to cut the vegetables well, everything.

I guess I’ve held on to a lot of memories. A little too much.

“You did.” He chuckled and squished me into another tight hug.

“Yah!” I yelled at him. “Aren’t you going to rest?” I asked him.

He chuckled. “I am resting now.” He replied.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not kidding, Lee Byunghun.” I told him.

“So am I, Kim Hana.” He replied. “I may be talking a lot and not sleeping but I am resting. My heart is resting because you’re here with me and that’s a valid reason that I am taking a rest too.” He smiled. “Resting my heart is the best rest I could get. We’re not physically drained, Hana. We’re emotionally drained.”

I looked at him. What’s with him all his idioms?

Did he even get this intelligent when I was away?

“So now, we rest physically if that’s what my girl wants.” He said then he pushed a button and the lights turned out.

He hugged me closer.

I’m getting used to his scent. Again.

Wait. Did he just say ‘my girl’?

“Why are you not talking?” He asked me, breaking me out of my astounded thoughts. I shouldn’t think this way, though.

Why not?

Because… Just because.

“What do I have to say?” I asked as I felt his arms wrap around me tighter.

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head again.

“Hey! That’s the second!” I told him.

He chuckled. “And I’d do it several times more.” Then he kissed me again… a few times more.