April Flowers

Description

"Is living your life in fear something that you really want? Being anxious all the time... a-and walking around with trembling hands and sweaty palms all day... going through your day constantly worrying about everyone but yourself. If it were me, I would be miserable." Kai muttered. Ara shut her eyes as she leaned against the door, feeling Kai's weight against the other side. The silence went on for a while until she finally decided to say what had been on her mind from the moment she locked herself in that wretched apartment.

"Being miserable suits me best." 

---

Exactly one year, three months, and a week ago was the last time Do Ara had felt the warmth of the sun. It was spring, her favorite season. April, to be exact. The chilly morning air and warm beams of sunlight made for a perfect combination, reminding her why she found spring so enjoyable.

That day had a lot of lasts for Do Ara. 

The last time she saw the stray neighborhood cat.

The last time she checked out books at the library.

The last time she tossed coins into a fountain. 

The last time she saw her mother's big bright smile.

The last time she was able to look into her mother's big brown eyes.

The moment she looked into those big brown eyes was also the moment she became aware of the numerous big blank eyes staring at her. It was also the moment she could hear the whispers and footsteps of those who hurriedly walked away. And it was the moment where she became afraid of those eyes and the people who stared at her with them. 

Foreword

Characters

Do Ara | 19

Kim Jongin | 20

Do Kyungsoo | 21

Park Chanyeol | 21

 


A/N: Thank you for reading the foreword to my very first story on this account! It's been a while since I've written anything on AFF so I hope that this story does not disappoint :) 

Credits to wondaerful from the fierce postershop for the beautiful poster! Thanks for all of your effort :) Make sure to check out the fierce postershop and all of her great posters~

hummingcafe
Might not be able to update as much as usual but I'll definitely try to get in a few chapters this weekend!

Comments

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vachick89
#1
Chapter 9: Hi, are you still continuing on with this story? You havent updated in quite a while.
kyungkie
#2
Chapter 8: asdfghjkl this chapter was literally the cutest thing ever. And I like how even though this story isn't necessarily a humorous one, you always add funny little parts that lighten up the mood. Oh, and don't feel bad about taking too long with updates! Your education is much more important :) Don't worry. We'll patiently wait for your updates. Take as long as you need.
vachick89
#3
Chapter 7: Ok here are my thoughts to this: Social anxiety is different for everybody. I speak for myself when I say this because I suffer from it as well however not to the extent as other people i guess. Hence everyone has different experiences. For ME I love people. I WANT to make friends but its hard. A million and one thoughts races through my head when im around new ppl. What to say, how to say it, how to look or even sound while saying it. Over and over again until I just dont say or do anything. Sweaty palms, dry throat, even heart palpitations sometimes, dizziness, feeling closed in. Feeling as if everyone is looking at me. Too much attention. So I feel like I need to hide. Claustrophobic in sense but instead of a tight space its like people instead. These are my symptoms. I suffer from this because I dont take medication or see a therapist. I guess im self healing? Writing this is part of my self healing btw. But omg I think I have come a looong way. I used to be terribly shy as well and a very silent reader. I havent been on my facebook in years because of social anxiety. I still havent come around to even be around family. Except for my immediate family who I live with. Its tough. I said all that to say that its different for everybody but there are common symptoms amongst us. I dont think you offend anyone well not me at least. And I also think that you write ara really well. So dont be scared girl. Do you. Ill still be here. I really like your story. And I think that I may have subscribed to it because I relate to Ara. Only I wish I knew what triggered my anxiety but I think I know what triggered hers. Sorry for the long post. Its weird. I have this anxiety but I think because it causes me to hold back from speaking that I talk so so much through text. And because this online and not in person its much much easier for me to communicate with ppl. Ok I'm done.
boogerbrain95
#4
Chapter 7: You did a good job at portraying a panic attack. But something I'm confused at is how quickly Ara is becoming less scared, when she mentioned wanting to have a new friend. It's not easy for a socially anxious person to say that. Especially since Ara is always home, I feel she should still be scared whenever there is someone new. Sorry if this sounds rude or anything. I don't mean to offend
vachick89
#5
Chapter 6: Nooo this chapter was definitely NOT boring at all! I had a big cheesy smile on my face the entire time. I love these boys so much and especially their interactions with each other whether its fiction or not. In this chap I could totally picture them all on the floor laughing and being goofballs. And the friendship between suho and kyungsoo is heartwarming. Suho is so caring to him I almost teared up when they reunited. Im such a er for those kinds of things. And the dance battle scene was good too.
kyungkie
#6
Chapter 5: "I can't believe a girl could drop such a huge piece of--"
Lmfao! Ah, this part was too funny to be ignored c':
But on a more serious note, my heart aches for poor little Chanyeol. I'm not exactly sure if he likes her in a romantic type of way yet, but he definitely has some feelings for her. But then there's Ara who only got to se Kai's back and he already managed to melt her into a pile of goo and oh my gosh someone stop Chanyeol before he ends up with a broken heart! This story makes me feel so many emotions all at once and wow I'm so sorry for this comment but this update was literally so good.
boogerbrain95
#7
Chapter 5: Hmmm... I can totally relate to Ara. I know the feeling of being anxious and having panic attacks can be scary too. Somehow I feel that Kyungsoo is somewhat ashamed at his family situation by the way he avoids talking about Ara. Maybe I'm over-analyzing this but even though he thinks that he's protecting her, it seems like he's protecting himself. I think that by hiding her away and not helping step by step to "fix" her anxiety, he can somehow get away from the whole situation. Judging by how Ara acted here, it seems like if she was pushed hard enough, she might be able to go outside for once. And judging from Chanyeol's character, it seems like he might be the one to do just that. But then again, Kai is a strong competitor. By the way, does Ara take any medication? Or did I skip that part? Sorry for such a long comment but I like how the story is going so far! Hwaiting Author-nim! ^^
vachick89
#8
Chapter 4: Yeaaaah new subbie here! I have no idea how I found this story but I'm glad I did. I can tell its going to be a good romcom for my exo fanfic collection. This chapter had me giggling like crazy, too. Chanyeol is such a sweetheart here and I love the way kyungsoo is written as well. Also, I can never grasp Xiumin's personality in any fanfic he's in because well, he never talks so how would you know how to write him? I do notice that the 'trend' (see what i did there) is to write him as a hyung who is very mature and might say some funny things every now and then. But I feel like is that his nature in rl? from what I see, he is very reserved. Idk I wish he'd open up more. This is something I've been holding in for quite a while now. But anyways, I'm rambling... love the story line and dialogue between the characters. Please continue!
boogerbrain95
#9
Chapter 4: Nope. Nope. I can already feel my heart break for Chanyeol
kyungkie
#10
Chapter 3: This story...there's only three chapters so far and it's already so beautifully written. I'm excited for your next update c: